The Dead
by The Talentless Hack
Summary: [WIP] Gone, but never forgotten. 10 years after the recovery of the Shikon no Tama and the defeat of Naraku, Fate has one more task for Kagome to complete. Those of you expecting anything remotely fluffy are in the wrong place.
1. Down the Rabbit Hole Once More

A/N: Right...so, I meant to post this a LONG time ago, but college (and especially _my_ college) is evil, and I'm mildly retarded for taking both a British Lit & Ethics class during the (six week) Summer semester. On the upside, I was finally able to read _Praise of Folly_ by Erasmas, which I always wanted to do but never had an excuse...and wow, that sounded really sad. I'm a nerd, what can I say. : ). Anyway, this is my first IY fanfic (yay me!), and I am using a few Japanese terms. I have decided to provide readers with the glossary of terms beforehand; let me know if this is more helpful than an end glossary. If not, I will happily oblige my readers' wishes.

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Words to Know: 

Goshinboku--the sacred tree at Kagome's family shine, and the tree to which Kikyou nailed Inuyasha's ass for a 50 year "nap"

Sengoku Jidai--the Warring States Era

inu--dog

hanyou--half-demon

youkai--demon; not technically the true translation, which is acutally something like a creature of the occult, but for my purposes, it's the equivalent to "demon"

taijiya--exterminator

houshi--priest

miko--priestess

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I believe this is everything; if not, send me a scathing email immediately and I will correct myself. Maybe. Perhaps. If I feel like it. (I'm kidding--I'll definitely correct myself)

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Disclaimer: (_snorts_) Yeah, in my dreams...

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Chapter One: Down The Rabbit Hole Once More 

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_I wake up,_

_Thoughts of you_

_Tattooed to my mind_

_As I wonder,_

_What to wear,_

_What to eat,_

_Who to be,_

_Will I see you again?_

"If You Only Knew"/ Maroon 5

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She was being stupid again.

Kagome sighed as she eyed the well-house roof from under Goshinboku. Would this need to go back ever stop? Ten years after she'd been sucked back from Sengoku Jidai—quite rudely, she remembered sourly—and she was still trying to get back. The Bone-Eater's Well was having none of this, naturally; as far as it and Fate were concerned, she had performed her duty to the letter, and there was no need of her venturing back into a place where she was no longer required. She'd tried for days and days at first, doing nothing but collecting splinters, several rather remarkable bruises and finally a very painful broken leg. Her mother had then firmly put her foot down and said Kagome wasn't going to be trying to leap into the well anymore.

"It's over, Kagome," her mother had added, affection and concern softening otherwise cruel words.

Kagome had ignored the pronouncement and as soon as her leg had healed, she was back at the well, leaping down it again and again, hoping against hope that the magic would once more come to life and take her back through the ages. She had been as stubbornly obstinate as Inuyasha when he was facing an enemy that the Tessaiga had no effect over, working on the assumption that if he kept slashing at his foe, sooner or later, Tessaiga would get the idea and do what it did. It was akin to banging the side of a particularly temperamental television or tapping a tooth-grindingly slow computer's screen—if you made your presence and wishes known for long enough, your wishes would be granted in due time. "The Water Dripping on Rock and Eventually Eroding Said Rock to Suit Said Water's Whims" theory, however, hadn't worked for Kagome. And it hadn't been working for ten years.

She leaned back against the tree. With the passing of time, she hadn't tried as frequently as in the beginning, when the panic at not being able to go to Sengoku Jidai—or more precisely, to Inuyasha—had been especially fresh and choking. As the months had passed, somewhere in the recesses of her mind, she had begun to realize that there was no going back. Certainly, she had tried to ignore the irritatingly calm reasoning of her mind, had refused to listen when logic had tried to assert itself. And for a long while, she had succeeded very well, making monthly attempts to go back. But…and there was always a "but"…Kagome had stopped trying every single month in lieu of every other month, and then every two months and then every four months…until she had stopped trying altogether. But the well was never far from her thoughts, and she spent many an afternoon under Goshinboku, staring at the well-house roof and hoping, wishing, for the well to let her travel through time to her friends. But it was always as cold and dark as it had been since it had spat her out into her own time, and any jump she attempted—which was rare indeed these days—usually rewarded her with a very good sized lump on the head or exceedingly impressive bruise somewhere on her body.

It was ridiculous, she guessed, for someone as old as she was to be so stupidly childish. All her friends were married and most of them had children. Two had become stay-at-home mothers; the rest were either part-time workers or dealt with their responsibilities as mothers and professionals rather like a juggler, trying to keep all the balls in the air, safely off the ground. She, on the other hand, was still living in her mother's house. Her one concession to adulthood had been acquiring a job at the University of Tokyo's vast research library, where she could flip through dusty tomes of ancient Japanese myths and legends to her heart's content, searching for even the barest mention of an inu-hanyou, or a youkai taijiya or a lecherous houshi—even a tragic miko somewhere in the vicinity of Edo. She hadn't found much; a few obscure legends here and there involving youkai of all species and description, a mention or two of hanyou, and miko galore to offer guidance and wisdom…but nothing of Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, or even, Gods help her, Kikyou…not a single word. It was almost as if the universe had conspired to completely and irrevocably separate her from them, even five hundred years later.

Kagome straightened from the tree and wandered around the courtyard, her meandering eventually ending at the well-house door. She ran a hand over the old wood, heart squeezing.

"What I wouldn't give to go back," she murmured, "if only for a minute."

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she knew them to be a bald-faced lie; she didn't think a thousand minutes would ever be enough.

She opened the door slightly and peaked in. There were the stairs…and there at the bottom, just as silent and mocking as ever, the well sat in the darkness. Kagome shut the door and turned and walked back to house, ignoring the little voice urging her to go back and try one more jump—if she didn't leave now, she would be late again and her supervisor was going to have a fit.

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For the next week, Kagome managed to ignore the little voice in her head that grew increasingly more insistent in its demand that she try one more jump—to the point that the voice now made it impossible to sleep.

_One more jump,_ the voice said reasonably.

"No," she returned, cranky and tired as she lay in her bed, pillow over her head. This just made it easier to listen to the voice, unfortunately, as the pillow blocked out all other distractions.

_Just one more,_ the voice said.

"No!" Kagome snapped.

_Just one!_ the voice snapped back. _What are you so afraid of?_

"A broken neck," Kagome muttered irritably.

_Is that all!_

Kagome sighed in frustration and squeezed her eyes shut:

"Listen here, I'm only saying this _once_—I am _not_ jumping down the Bone-Eater's Well. I'm _never_ jumping down the Bone-Eater's Well again. And now, I'm going to sleep, so shut up!"

She waited. Not a sound. Sighing in relief, Kagome flopped over onto her stomach, shut her eyes and sighed heavily.

_One more jump won't hurt any, you know._

"Aaaa!" Kagome screamed as her temper exploded, and she whipped the sheets off her body and sat up. "Shut up shut up shut up!" she yelled, using the palm of one hand to whack the side of her head.

"Kagome?" Higurashi-san called. "_What_ is going on in there? Who are you talking to?"

"No one Mama!" Kagome called back, flushing in embarrassment. "I was just having a dream!"

She heard her mother sigh, then the squeak of floorboards as she walked back to her room. Kagome swung her legs out of bed and rubbed her left temple, feeling the faint beginnings of a very promising headache.

_You know—_

"Shut up or I'll…." Kagome paused, not sure how to threaten an annoying voice residing in her head. Certainly, she couldn't promise physical retribution—that would mean injuring herself in the process.

_Or you'll what?_ the voice asked, smug.

"I'll do something," she muttered bad temperedly.

_Right. Sure you will._

Kagome sighed and got up. She walked to her door, opened it, stepped out into the hallway and quietly shut the door.

_Hey, what are you doing? _the voice asked.

"Something," Kagome returned sharply, striding with purpose to the kitchen.

_Involving the well?_

"No—involving a midnight snack."

_You'll gain weight_, the voice said immediately, sounding horrified. _And after you worked so hard to lose it!_

"Oh well," Kagome said airily, opening the pantry doors wide.

_Is this how you're going to punish me? By having me worry over calories?_ the voice sobbed.

"No, I'm hungry. Punishing an annoying, know-it-all voice in my head is a bonus." Kagome replied, ripping open a bag of potato chips, grabbing a handful and shoving them into her mouth.

_Aack! What are you doing! Stop it! That'll go right to your thighs!_

A wonderful thing happened as Kagome was eating the potato chips: she realized the sound of her teeth crunching the chips into pieces suitable for swallowing drowned out the voice. So she set the bag down on the counter, leaned against it and contentedly crunched away, ignoring the voice as it wailed on and on about fat content. The feminine mind had some rather strange fixations, she idly noted as she swallowed, finding that the voice was no longer speaking.

"Probably curled up in the fetal position in some dark corner of my mind," Kagome said, going to the refrigerator and grabbing a can of soda. She pulled the tab, enjoyed the rush of air that came out of the can, and took a generous swig. In all truth, she would have preferred a bottle of liquor, but she was all out, and she had to wait for her mother to go out on an errand before she could bring in the new bottle she had stashed in the trunk of her car. Probably, it wasn't the best place for liquor to sit, but Kagome knew there was no way in hell she was going to risk her mother seeing her coming into the house with a very large bottle of some very cheap whiskey in one hand. That, was just not happening.

Roughly five hours and a six-pack and a half of soda later, Kagome was still awake, and the sky was lightening from the deep blue of nighttime to the faint gray of pre-dawn. She had eaten the entire bag of potato chips, sitting on the counter and watching the dark world outside her window. She felt tired, and knowing that she had to be at the library earlier than usual for a staff meeting just made it all the worse. She was _so_ not ready to face the world and pretend to be pleasant and interested.

Sighing, she lightly jumped off the counter top and picked up the cans and empty bag, throwing them in the garbage. Then, on a whim, she went outside to watch the sun rise, not bothering to put on shoes of some kind.

The air was pleasantly sharp with chill, and she stood in front of the door of her house, hugging herself in a vain attempt to keep warm, and watched the gray light recede, to be replaced with a white, ethereal glow before the watery, lemon-tinted light of the sun began to appear. That strange white glow made Kagome think she could see ghost-like figures wandering through her courtyard. She let her eyes wander lovingly over the weathered stone and buildings, feeling comforted with their presence, imagined or real.

It was only natural that her eyes would go to the well-house roof, and Kagome watched it sadly. On impulse, she walked towards it, wanting to open the door and let the rising sun spill in and lighten the gloom. Rationally, the desire made no sense; the well was an inanimate object, not at all concerned or aware of whether the sun was rising or setting. But Kagome recognized what was behind the impulse—that terrible little kernel of hope that had lodged itself in her heart and refused to let go: Inuyasha might have found a way to go through the well, and he might be there right now, clambering out of the gaping hole, cursing about the trouble she was and how much he despised having to keep dragging her back to Sengoku Jidai.

But of course, he wasn't there. When she slid the door open, the well-house was empty, still as the dead, and Kagome sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose and laughed ruefully.

"I must love torturing myself," she murmured, looking up and into the well-house. The sun was rising rapidly now, and the light was steadily creeping in, chasing away the shadows.

"Well, at least—" Kagome stopped abruptly, her eyes catching a flicker at the well. She stood there, frozen, wondering if she'd imagined it. She watched the well, but saw nothing.

Did _I imagine it?_ she thought to herself. _Oh man, I_ really _need to get a grip. I need to start sleeping. I need to learn to block out that annoying voice. I need…a psychiatrist, that's what. Who the hell admits she can't sleep because of _voices _in her head?_

She thought she saw another flicker, and she stared at the well, uncertain as to what the situation called for—should she investigate it or simply ignore it?

Kagome decided that investigation, while probably not the brightest idea she'd had within the last ten years, was the only option available to her—ignoring the well just wasn't going to happen, PERIOD.

She cautiously made her way down the old wood stairs and approached the well carefully, as if afraid it might suddenly open eyes she had never known existed and yell "What are you doing!" at her. The utter ridiculousness of the thought helped calm her jangling nerves. She reached the well, and peered over the wooden lip, back far enough from it that she wouldn't fall in but could still see. Nothing. She sighed, blaming her over-active imagination this morning on her lack of sleep and overdose of sugary soda, and then her eyes caught a faint shimmer from the depths of the well before it disappeared, like a snake gliding through water.

"No," she said in quiet disbelief after a moment of pregnant silence. "This is impossible."

A sudden wind from outside slammed the door shut and Kagome let out a shout and jumped, startled. She whacked her knee against the lip of the well and fell over and into it, cursing in pain and astonishment. And then, to complete her morning, a little voice from somewhere in the back of her mind said, very smugly,

_Told you so._

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In the courtyard, the wind gently stirred the leaves and debris, sounding like some kind of queer sigh of satisfaction before dying down altogether.


	2. Back To The Past

A/N: I have discovered that I detest hurricanes, particularly hurricanes named Katrina who interfere with my ability to watch television and go online. Fortunately, I was able to get some writing and drawing done, so I wasn't totally bored out of my mind. I give you a double dose of _Dead_ this week; I'm going to try to post every Sunday. We'll see how that goes. Oh...by the way...I'm expecting hate mail from some very unhappy people for the way this chapter turns out. Sorry in advance.

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Disclaimer: I wish...

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Words To Know: 

youki--demonic energy

Edo--more of a note than anything; this was Tokyo's "name" before it was called Tokyo. I'm not sure when Tokyo was first called "Edo," but it suits my purposes for it to be called thus at this point in the IY timeline.

Kaede-baa-chan/obaa-chan--Grandma Kaede/Grandma; affectionately respectful way of addressing the elderly, this case, Kaede

haori--jacket

hakama--pants that could be worn with the hems loose (ie, Kikyou) or tied (ie, Inuyasha)

-sama--one of the Japanese honorifics, the most reverent/respectful (in descending order: -sama, -san, -kun, -chan); no true English equivalent.

asagohan--breakfast; literally means "morning rice"

kitsune--fox

(That's all, I think; do let me know if I was remiss)

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**Chapter Two: Back To The Past**

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_The hopes and prays, the better days,_

_The far aways—forget it._

_It didn't turn out the way you wanted it to,_

_It didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, did it?_

"The Wretched"/ Nine Inch Nails

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_Here we are._

'Where is here?'

_Open your eyes and see._

Kagome slowly opened an eye and peered around her. She was sitting—rather uncomfortably—in the bottom of the Bone-Eater's Well, chin resting on her chest, knees stuffed into her face; if she'd been cursed with particularly angular appendages, she would have been effectively blinded by them. She opened the other eye and blinked, immediately sensing—was that—youki?

Kagome scrambled to her feet and looked up, stunned when she saw blue sky instead of the roof of the well-house. She stared in dumb shock for several minutes, her mind in chaos, and then hurriedly climbed out of the well. Her deepest hopes came true, and she nearly fell back into the time slip when she saw Goshinboku's ancient branches...and Inuyasha Forest. She stared all around her, staggered, and then she smiled and jumped up and down in the air, screaming like a lunatic and laughing—she was back! The well had let her come back! After all this time, Fate had _finally_ taken pity on her and let her come back to see her friends—

She stopped jumping up and down and stood, hands raised in the air above her head, and her heart beat screeched to a halt and then started up once more, pumping like mad.

_Inuyasha._

Kagome turned and ran towards Edo, yelling,

"Inuyasha! Inuyasha it's Kagome! I'm back, I'm here! Inuyasha!"

Kagome abruptly drew up, however, upon reaching Edo—the village was no longer a village, but a small town, and it showed signs of soon moving beyond that. It was difficult to take in—only ten years earlier, Edo hadn't been much more than a place to stop and water one's animals. Now…Kagome didn't know what to say.

"Oh whoa," she murmured, watching as people began to leave their houses to attend to their various duties. After a while of stunned stupor, she began noticing that a lot of these people were looking in her direction and whispering amongst themselves, but attempting to be discreet; others were less polite, staring openly at her.

Kagome frowned and looked down, then blushed; g_eez_, she was still in pajamas. And they were dorky as all hell, too, covered with the face of a character from a particular anime she'd been especially devoted to. She only wore the button-down style shirt and elastic band bottom because they were comfortable and kept her cool. Sighing, a painful blush staining her cheeks, Kagome thought to herself that nothing had changed:

"Still cart wheeling out of the fat and into the fire," she muttered.

Still, she was twenty-seven now, a grown woman, so she straightened her shoulders and marched through the village with all the bruised dignity she could muster—and then some—looking for Kaede-baa-chan.

At long last, she had to ask someone where Edo's miko was, and after being given several looks from several people who seemed to seriously question her sanity, a village woman had directed her to the proper place. Kagome was surprised that Obaa-chan's little out-of-the-way home had been incorporated into Edo so quickly, and mentioned it to the village woman. The woman sent her another odd look, then left her, shaking her head as she continued on her way. Kagome sighed, then walked to the hut, only to find…well …it wasn't Kaede's.

Here, her first feelings of misgiving rose, but she quickly tucked them in an out of the way corner of her mind and went to the hut. She knocked on the door jamb, and a woman who was definitely NOT Obaa-chan invited her in.

Kagome lifted back the bamboo flap and stuck her head in and saw a strange woman sitting before a small, cheerful fire, a bowl of rice in one hand and a pair of chopsticks in the other. She was deftly fishing rice out of the shallow bowl and eating the grains with relish. When she saw Kagome, she set her bowl aside and rose with a smile.

"Come in, come—" she fell silent when Kagome took a step into the hut and her clothing, no longer indiscernible, came into focus.

The miko—and that's what she was, because she was wearing the white haori and red hakama of the miko—was an older woman, though her exact age was difficult to pin down; she had aged remarkably well, considering the hardship of the times in which she lived, and was even a little pretty in her own way. The hair was white and pulled back from her face in a low knot, and the eyes regarded Kagome with more than a little misgiving. At that moment, Kagome didn't blame her: she was feeling more than a little misgiving herself.

"Hello," Kagome said awkwardly. "I'm…I'm looking for Kaede-baa-chan? She's the miko of Edo."

The miko looked startled. "Oh no!" she said. "No no no, girl—Kaede-sama hasn't been the miko of Edo for a long long time."

"She…what?" Kagome asked.

The miko sighed. "Girl, Kaede-sama…she's been dead for over forty years."

"Forty—but that's—" Kagome felt the faint little hairs on her body rise as her skin goose pimpled. _Forty years?_ she asked herself. _Obaa-chan's been dead for_ forty years_? But that's impossible! I've only been gone_ ten _years!_

"Who are you?" the miko asked, and Kagome had enough presence of mind to notice the woman's eyes flicker briefly to the bow and arrows by the fire. _That_ certainly didn't bode well.

"Higurashi Kagome," Kagome answered automatically, while her mind still struggled through the shock of learning that Kaede-baa-chan had died.

The miko flinched, and the odd reaction startled Kagome into taking a good look at the other woman, who was staring at her in something like horrified wonder.

"Kagome-sama!" the miko breathed.

It was Kagome's turn to flinch, which she did in response to the honorific that had been attached to her name.

_What in the seven hells?_ she thought, puzzled.

"Oh forgive me, Kagome-sama, if I had known it was you—please come in! Join me for asagohan," the woman said, gesturing to the meal she'd abandoned at Kagome's appearance.

"Oh well—" Kagome reached up and rubbed the back of her head, wondering idly what was going on and whether or not she'd given herself a really bad wonk on the head and simply dreamed this all up. And if that was the case, it was the worst dream she'd ever had, _ever_, in her twenty-seven years. "I'd like to—I didn't catch your name?"

"Mine," the woman immediately said, bowing low. At this, Kagome blushed. She stepped forward and took the miko by the arms and gently tugged her upright.

"No no, please don't do that," she said, smiling nervously though she wasn't sure why.

Though obviously startled by the younger woman's reaction and request, Mine immediately straightened, and fixed a pleased smile on her face.

"Kagome-sama…it is an honor to formally make your acquaintance."

"'Formally'?" Kagome parroted.

Mine nodded. "Kaede-sama often told us of you and your friends: the houshi, the kitsune, the taijiya, and the hanyou—of your quest to collect the shards of the Shikon no Tama and purify it."

Kagome bristled at the term "hanyou" instinctively, and nearly launched into a scathing lecture when she realized that the woman was talking about Inuyasha, which meant that she probably knew where he was. She smiled and Mine stopped talking, bemused by the sudden look of joy.

"Mine-sama," Kagome said, making the older woman blush, "where is Inuyasha?"

The expression of pleasure at being given such deference by a local legend froze on Mine's face at the question.

"What?" she breathed, the color leeching from her face slightly.

The sense of foreboding Kagome had felt earlier returned with vicious vengeance:

"Inuyasha…where is he?" Kagome asked again, her voice a little higher, laced with growing panic.

_What's wrong with her?_ she thought frantically. _Why is she looking like that?_ _Why is she looking at_ me _like that?_

"Kagome-sama, perhaps you should sit—" Mine said.

"Where is Inuyasha?" Kagome interrupted, not caring that her voice was harsh and less than polite.

Mine stared at her sadly, and Kagome knew what she was going to say before the older woman sighed quietly:

"Kagome-sama…Inuyasha…died. Many years ago. He was buried near the tree where the miko Kikyou sealed him over a century ago."

Her legs shot out from under her and she landed on the floor of the hut painfully, but Kagome didn't feel it, and she didn't hear Mine's cry of alarm—her world had narrowed and tilted, and she had been knocked out of it, knocked out of her body, and was now forced to see it from somewhere else. She felt as though she were watching herself, standing off in a corner and observing a woman who looked a lot like her, sitting on the floor of a miko's hut, wearing ridiculous pajamas, face white and pupils dilated, while the miko hovered over her, begging her to get up, to move—to breathe.

Suddenly, Kagome felt that detached portion of herself get sucked back into her body, and then she was shooting up onto her feet and then she was running out of the hut and Mine was running after her, yelling for her to stop and come back. But Kagome didn't. She just ran and ran, streaking through the village as fast as she could go, hoping to outrun the overwhelming pain that was threatening to overtake her.

_Just keep running,_ her mind said. _It can't touch you if you keep running. It can't_ hurt _you if you keep running._

So she ran through Edo and then out of it, ran to the field where the Bone-Eater's Well sat and she vaulted over the lip and fell into the well, waiting for the magic to catch hold of her and take her back home. Instead, she fell at the bottom of the well, landing hard on her right side, and she felt an excruciating pain shoot up that side of her body, from her foot to her head, and then she was laying in the bottom of the well, panting, curled into a ball, waiting for the pain to come and eat her alive.


	3. Mourning

As promised, the second of this Sunday's postings.

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Disclaimer: I wish...

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Words To Know: 

ki--energy, more or less, at least here; in the context of this story, the opposite of youki, or demonic energy

(As before, please let me know if I missed one)

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Chapter Three: Mourning 

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_Oh my love,_

_I can't let go;_

_Somethin's wrong,_

_I can't let go;_

_Nature's cruel,_

_She laughs at me…._

"Rain City"/ Turin Brakes

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Four hours later, she climbed out of the well and leaned against it, shaking violently.

Kagome had laid on her side in it, stubbornly refusing to believe that the well had deposited her here and decided that was more than enough. She had stayed in the well, lying to herself, telling herself that the magic would come soon and take her home, where she had to take a shower and get in her car and go to work. She had to go home, where she had another life far from this one, where the people she loved were still alive and with her.

She'd listened to Mine and several other villagers come looking for her, calling for her—"Kagome-sama!"—but she had remained silent, not wanting them to find her, not wanting anyone to find her ever again. Eventually, they moved away from the well, though no one bothered to check it. If the thought had occurred to her, she might have wondered at that, wondered why Kaede-baa-chan hadn't let her secret slip, even though it was probably a very dishonorable and uncharitable thought to entertain of the old miko.

Some time after the villagers had given up their search for her, Kagome had slowly realized that her neck was aching, her pajamas were soiled, she was getting dirty…and the well wasn't going to be transporting her home any time soon.

So, because she couldn't stay in there forever, she had reluctantly climbed out of it and up into the world, to face what she had been dreading, what she had felt squatting out there, waiting for her, as she lay curled up in the bottom of the well: her grief.

It assaulted her the second her bare feet touched the grass, and she felt her heart squeezing and twisting in her chest. She leaned against the well for support, trying to breathe through the pain. She looked at Goshinboku and convulsed, then lurched up off the well and stumbled toward it, tears blinding her.

The little headstone was several feet away from the giant tree, hidden by the long grass. It had been very well tended to, and in the back of her mind she wondered who she had to thank for that kindness; finding Inuyasha's final resting place in disrepair would have been cruel indeed.

She fell down before it on her knees and stared, tears running down her cheeks, and she felt her mind shut down, found her head empty—for once—of everything. It was just empty.

Kagome stayed that way for several hours, numb and unable to move under the weight of her grief. In late afternoon, she had to change position, so she sat on her backside, knees drawn up in front of her, and rocked back and forth and stared at the headstone in silence. The birds had left the area long ago, and nothing dared stir when anguish was so palpable in the air.

By the time the sun was descending, Kagome's pain had consumed her, and she keened and cried, unable to fight back the need to lament any longer, saying she was sorry over and over again until she lost her voice two hours before dawn. Her cries were something almost terrifying to hear in the deep of night. There was a world of aching loss and agony in the wails that made them both more and less human, horrible and exquisite in their bitterness, and the forest was respectfully quiet in the face of her sorrow. It was a sound that lived with many of the people in Edo for the rest of their lives, a memory of mourning too powerful to forget.

It was the sound of a heart dying.

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When Kagome awakened the next day, she experienced a panicky moment of not knowing where she was.

She opened her eyes, encrusted with dried tears, and found her cheek resting on something rough and cool, found grass stretching out before her and disappearing into a forest. She was cold and damp, and most of her was on the grass—her head and arms were pillowed on the rough and cool whatever it was under them—and for one awful moment, she didn't remember where she was. Then, as if the sunlight streaming down illuminated her mind the way it had illuminated the world, she recalled yesterday's events: of falling down the well, of going back in time, of seeing the stunning progress Edo had made, of learning of Kaede-baa-chan's death…learning of Inuyasha's death.

At that memory, Kagome swallowed painfully and shut her eyes, the wound on her heart pulsing anew.

_Oh gods,_ she thought, feeling new tears threatening.

She laid there for a long long while, eyes shut, wishing she could die and join him. Finally, admitting there was little chance of that, she opened her eyes and decided, despite the jerk of her heart at the thought, that it was time to get up.

She pushed herself up, to her knees, then sat back on her heels and stared at the headstone that bore the characters of his name, INUYASHA, strong and bold, at the grass and dirt that now blanketed his body.

"I'm so sorry," she rasped, her voice almost gone, her throat raw from the tears and wailing of the night before. She reached down and placed a hand on the headstone. Cold, wet with her tears. She closed her eyes, wondered how she was going to get up and leave him here all alone. She reflected that he had probably died alone, and the shock waves from the pain that thought caused made her jerk in reaction, made her breath hitch audibly. Then, she sat there in silence, legs numbing and brain shutting down again. Subconsciously, it was making sure that her body was continuing on with the business of living despite her own personal wishes. But thinking, real thinking, was entirely out of the question.

Finally, the discomfort of her numb legs demanded she get up, so she leaned forward, tenderly kissed the headstone and struggled painfully to her feet.

She stared at the headstone, legs shaking and mind blank, then slowly turned, vaguely remembering that she had met Edo's miko yesterday, and the woman was probably wondering what had become of her. Upon turning, she realized she was no longer alone: Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands and Inuyasha's elder half-brother, stood before her, amber eyes silent and flat, watching her.

Kagome stared at him mutely, too tired and heart-sick to wonder at his being there. He stared back, giving away nothing. Still icy, still distant, still alive. Watching him watch her, Kagome found she didn't care what business had brought Sesshoumaru here this day, here to impose on her grief. To hell with him: the love of her life was dead, and there was a gaping hole in her heart where Inuyasha had resided all these years, ragged and bleeding. She swallowed a sob as fresh waves of sorrow washed over her. Then, once she'd gotten a handle on it, she slowly walked toward him and then past him, back to Edo. Idly, she thought that she'd never known that misery was so very exhausting. She was running on auto-pilot, trusting her feet to remember their way back, stumbling her way to the village—the town. Absently, she felt the demon lord's eyes follow her progress.

Kagome ignored him and continued walking, cradling the sad tatters of her broken heart.

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Hours later, in the middle of the afternoon, Kagome was curled up on a mat in Mine's hut, head and heart aching.

She was lying by the fire, having washed and changed into clothing more suited to her surroundings and eaten. Or rather, having quietly submitted to Mine's ministrations, not having the strength or inclination to take care of herself.

She heard the brush of cloth and slowly opened her eyes and looked at the doorway. But instead of the miko, the demon lord loomed before her. Kagome stared at him, caught between her misery and the sleep her aching body begged for.

"Miko," the demon said, voice quiet, as if he were aware of the pounding of her head and didn't wish to cause her any more discomfort. If it had been anyone else, Kagome might have believed it.

She was silent for a moment, then whispered,

"Sesshoumaru."

He didn't respond. Instead, he merely watched her, then walked into the hut and to a corner and sat there, back to the wall, and continued his scrutiny. Kagome closed her eyes and surrendered to sleep.

Slumber was slow to claim her, and once it did, she was very rudely yanked back into reality:

"YOUKAI!" came a screech, and Kagome jumped completely off the mat, heart ready to explode out of her chest. She looked around wildly, disoriented and scared out of her mind, and saw Mine standing by the fire, looking at the corner in absolute horror. Kagome followed the miko's bug-eyed stare, expecting to see something terrible…and saw only Sesshoumaru, sitting with his back to the wall, hands in the sleeves of his kimono—eyes narrowed in a manner that boded no good.

_Oh wait,_ Kagome thought suddenly, horrified, _Sesshoumaru pissed_ is _terrible!_

She stumbled awkwardly to her feet and then to the corner, catching sight of the slightest expression of shock on his face before whirling to face Mine, who had removed an arrow from her quiver and was presently in the process of nocking said arrow. Kagome flung her arms out, heart beat accelerating even more, if that was possible.

"No!" she yelled, and felt her throat punish her with pain. "Don't! It's—"

"Kagome-sama, get away from the youkai," Mine ordered, raising her bow.

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit,_ Kagome thought feverishly.

"Please, listen, he's—" _Was I really about to call Sesshoumaru _harmless, Kagome wondered as her brain worked to frantically get her meaning to Mine before—

"Kagome-sama! Move!" Mine yelled, and let the arrow fly.

The next thing Kagome knew, her entire body exploded into bright light as her holy ki, long dormant, kicked into high gear, literally. She heard a yelp of surprise and the light abruptly died. Blinking, she saw smoke rising from something on the floor before her, and looked down to find the miko's purifying arrow…well, completely and utterly useless.

_I didn't know I could counteract other mikos' powers,_ Kagome thought to herself absently, as if making an observation on the quality of the food she'd eaten or the change in temperature.

A sound above her head had her looking up in time to see a piece of the charred roof detach itself from the structure. She leapt back, startled, and crashed into Sesshoumaru, who let out a grunt and grabbed one of her arms—probably an automatic response—then hissed and snatched his hand back when her ki, triggered by his proximity and his considerable youki, flared back to life.

"Kagome-sama?" Mine asked, sounding, and looking, dubious.

Kagome sighed wearily, starting to feel dizzy. Her hand reached out and found the wall and she leaned that way in an attempt to steady herself.

"Mine," she began, "I was trying to tell you, that the youkai means me no harm. He means _us_ no harm," she added, and she heard Sesshoumaru mutter something that sounded uncomfortably like, "That was _before_ my person was endangered."

Her nerves jerked at the implied threat and she came up off the wall and stepped back, closer to him, not sure if she was protecting the miko or Sesshoumaru, though the second motive was as laughable as it was insulting to the demon lord.

Mine still looked suspicious.

"How are you so certain, Kagome-sama?" she asked, still holding her bow tightly.

"I'm…I know this youkai. I fought…_we_ fought, a common enemy, once upon a time." Kagome returned, swallowing a hot, tight ball of tears; _Please,_ she begged silently as another piece of her heart died, _please accept this explanation and_ let it go.

Fate seemed to take pity on her: Mine's grip on the bow loosened, and her face, though still not completely convinced, relaxed slightly.

It was quiet in the hut for a long moment, with only the snap of the fire keeping it from being entirely silent, before the sounds of people moving around the village and distant shouts of "Youkai!" reached them.

"Go to them, please, and calm them. Say it was a mistake, that you mistook a stranger for a youkai," Kagome said, which wasn't a lie, really…but not entirely true, either.

Mine nodded and left the hut, and Kagome, shoulders slumped, walked back to the fire and collapsed on her mat and shut her eyes, not really thinking of anything. Remembering suddenly that her ki had reacted badly to his touch, she asked Sesshoumaru,

"Is your hand badly injured?"

"It has already healed," he coolly returned. Kagome heard a whisper of fabric as he once more settled down in the corner. She didn't have anything to say to that, so she settled on an apology.

"I'm sorry—injuring you wasn't my intent."

"A natural reaction to a youkai," Sesshoumaru said, voice clinical.

With no reply ready, Kagome said nothing, and within several minutes she had drifted back into the soothing nothingness of sleep.

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Kagome had never done so little and yet been so tired in her entire life.

She spent the next three days doing nothing but sleeping on the mat in front of Mine's fire, docilely allowing the elder woman to awaken her so that she might eat two or three bites of food she never really took the time to identify, and to attend to personal needs like relieving herself, though in truth, Kagome had ingested so little in her four days in Sengoku Jidai that there was scarcely any point in the action.

Her sleep was mercifully lacking in dreams of any kind, but that hardly mattered. She never seemed to be able to sleep enough. And vaguely, she thought it might have something to do with the silent, sullen presence in the corner of Mine's hut.

Sesshoumaru, as far as Kagome could tell, hadn't moved since the afternoon he'd ensconced himself in the corner. When she awakened, he was there, watching her, almost as if he were waiting for something. If she hadn't seen him blink occasionally, she might have been forgiven for believing he'd died—perhaps of boredom, since the man—_demon_, she sluggishly corrected—couldn't be troubled to get even slightly animated about anything.

If his presence was affecting her sleep, it was playing merry hell with Mine's general constitution. The older woman was clearly frightened of the demon lord, and she stayed as far away from her hut as she could, spending as much of her time out of it as was reasonable.

It was during one of Mine's frequent and long absences that Kagome opened heavy eyes on the fourth day, an hour before sunset. She stared at the fire that Mine had left burning for her, watching dying flames try to live long enough for Mine to come back and start dinner, and an idea, insubstantial at first, danced through her head: was that how Inuyasha had died, fighting to survive? The thought shattered the numb cold that had settled in her body and ripped a sob from her. She curled into a ball on the mat and shoved a fist into her mouth to keep from disturbing Mine, whom she believed to be somewhere nearby; Sesshoumaru's unsettling presence had yet to penetrate her senses, though she could feel something, at the very periphery of her field of awareness, moving around her.

He watched the woman awaken from her sleep, watched her stare into the fire and saw a shadow pass over her face before she convulsed and let out a pitiful sound. He tilted his head and watched her curl into a ball on the mat where she spent so much of her time, listened to her make strange noises that were half anguished, half pathetic, and smelled the familiar scent of her tears as she made some kind of effort—he assumed—to control herself.

_So,_ Sesshoumaru thought, lips quirking in distaste, this_ is the powerful miko_ _Inuyasha spoke so highly of. A disappointment, not that I'm surprised._

In all truth, he was feeling more than a little provoked by the woman and her weeping. Fine—he would accept that she was mourning over the death of his half-brother, a companion of hers from sixty years prior. But _four_ days? Surely that was too much. Even Sesshoumaru would have been content with a mere two days of mourning from his vassals in the event of his own untimely death (unlikely though it was), and then only because there was one particular youkai who was far too interested in the Western Lands for his peace of mind; in the aftermath of his demise, the bastard would cheerfully swoop in and do his damnedest to snatch what he could. He was trying even now, when the inu youkai lord was still breathing, to grab all he could. And, much as it pained Sesshoumaru to admit it, the youkai bastard was doing very well. Far too well. And he would willingly submit to being dragged to hell by Naraku's ghost before he'd allow his father's legacy to be ripped apart like so much meaningless paper.

So, he'd remembered Inuyasha mooning over some human woman who used to travel with him: the living miko who bore such a strong resemblance to the dead one. He'd recalled several examples of her considerable power, and decided that those powers should be pressed into his service, and he'd set off for Edo, to see if he could find her. He'd nearly been there when the world had rippled strangely, as if it had found a wrinkle somewhere and had gently tugged at the fabric of life to straighten it out. Then an ear-shattering screech of delight had reached him and he'd nearly fallen out of the tree top where he'd landed just before the startling shriek had left the offender's mouth, hands clutched over his ringing ears and fangs bared at the indignity his hearing had been subjected to.

He'd made it to the well that Inuyasha had jumped into so many times, trying to go back to the future, what ever the hell that meant, and had lightly landed before it and begun his careful inspection. He had immediately noticed that there was a residue of ancient magic in the air, and the more forceful scent of a young human female—the miko, he recognized after quick analysis. The dark well had drawn his curiosity, though, kept him from following the miko. He'd leapt down the well and landed softly on his feet at the bottom, sniffing around and examining it, true to his dog nature. It might have been an ordinary well, if he hadn't sensed the magical residue. Eyes narrowed, he'd attempted to identify its origin, and was in the process of that particular endeavor when shouts had reached him and he'd shot out of the well and high into the air, landing safely in the tree tops nearby. He'd watched with interest as the miko ran from Edo as if being chased, reached the well and threw herself down it. He also watched several people come running after her from the town, yelling "Kagome-sama!" and searching for her. Curiously, none of them so much as glanced at the well, and Sesshoumaru wondered why before deciding it was superfluous information.

The people had soon given up and gone back to Edo, never once thinking to look down the well. Sesshoumaru had expected the miko to climb out as soon as the people were gone, but she hadn't. He thought she might have gone back to her own time, and frowned darkly at the thought. He sniffed the air, caught a whiff of her, and decided that she was still here, just not ready to come out of hiding yet. So, he'd settled down to wait for her. Four hours later, she had emerged, and gone to Goshinboku, and Sesshoumaru had sighed and realized what had happened. Someone in Edo had obviously told her Inuyasha had died nearly fifty years ago.

After a moment's contemplation, he decided she might be more receptive to his plan to take her with him to the Western Lands if he allowed her some time to grieve—the last thing he wanted was a disgruntled female he'd probably have to kill once she'd annoyed him sufficiently, making his careful planning and traveling all for naught. He'd realized the error in his unusual act of magnanimity the moment it became apparent that she had no intention of moving from Inuyasha's headstone for some time yet. And then the keening had started and Sesshoumaru, teeth gritted tightly, knew he had never suffered as he did that night, listening to the woman's loud, anguished sobs. Grief, he had learned, was a noisy and thoroughly undisciplined business, particularly for humans, who were so prone to their emotions.

He'd briefly entertained the idea of leaving and coming back in the morning, but quickly discarded it. The miko was his last chance at this point, and he did not want to risk wasting precious time looking for her if she got it into her idiot head to leave the vicinity of Edo. So he'd stayed and nearly lost his composure—had come close to ordering for her to shut up several times out of sheer frustration. After a few excruciating hours, he'd managed to block her out and save his sanity, and he'd even allowed himself the chance to sleep—he hadn't for nearly a month now, and not resting was beginning to tax him.

The rising sun had awakened him, and he'd watched it ascend into the sky, then leapt down from the tree he'd spent the night in and landed lightly, eyes narrowed and searching for anyone hiding in the forest who might have escaped his notice—not likely, of course, but he was a man who liked to take precautions.

Finding nothing, of course, he'd walked to the tree where his useless half-brother had been pinned by the dead miko's arrow over a hundred years ago, and stopped upon seeing the living miko sprawled over Inuyasha's headstone, apparently asleep. Sesshoumaru had raised an eyebrow; a hanyou Inuyasha might have been, but he doubted that even his half-brother's resting place should be misused in such a manner. He considered waking her, and stepped forward to do just that, but she awakened, and Sesshoumaru stayed put.

It had taken her a while to get up and turn around, and when he saw her face, he was severely disappointed: her eyes were red-rimmed, and the purple smudges under them bespoke of no rest. Her visage was pale and unhealthy, and she looked, all in all, like one stiff breeze would send her flying. _This_ was nothing more than a weepy girl, and he'd almost growled in acute irritation…but when she'd walked by him, his youki had retreated slightly, something that had never happened before. It had been startling enough to make him pause and reconsider his original judgment.

Before following her, however, he'd walked to Inuyasha's headstone, just to make sure she hadn't done any permanent damage. He'd leaned down and wiped the woman's tears off the characters of his half-brother's name, and let his fingers lightly sweep over them for a moment before straightening and observing a moment of respectful silence, even though it was more than he believed Inuyasha deserved.

Despite himself, he'd made sure that Inuyasha's resting place was maintained, and he usually came to check on it and make sure his orders were being carried out to his satisfaction. Inuyasha might have been a worthless half-youkai, but he was still his father's son, and as such, even his lowly remains had to be properly taken care of.

His respectful silence lasted far longer than he'd planned. He fell asleep standing by Inuyasha's grave, and when he awakened, he'd never been so annoyed with himself in his life. He'd glared down at the grave, blaming it for his exhaustion, but then decided that was ridiculous and wasted energy. So, he'd walked to Edo, following the miko's scent. When he'd entered the hut and found her curled up on the floor, he thought it should have been impossible that she should still be so tired. But, when she'd opened her eyes and stared at him, he'd felt the force of her grief.

At this point, he'd admitted to himself that it was unlikely that she'd be traveling anywhere in this state, and frankly, she was essentially useless to him like this, so he made himself comfortable in a corner, awaiting the time when this lethargy that had sunk its claws into her disappeared. And then, the elder miko had come in….

Sesshoumaru had been extremely impressed and alarmed by the young miko's power. Impressed, because she had managed to completely obliterate the elder miko's purifying arrow, something that he hadn't known mikos were capable of. Alarmed, because she had absolutely no control over her ki; she'd used far too much of it to counteract one arrow, and such excess was completely unacceptable. He wasn't sure if it was inexperience or her emotions that had caused such a wildly off-balance response, but regardless of what had caused it, that was something that had to be remedied posthaste if she was going to be even remotely useful.

That show of power had been enough to convince him she was exactly what he needed, despite the odds stacked against her. He was sure that with proper study and focus, she would be able to perform the duty he required of her.

Granted, that had been three days ago. Now, he was seriously second-guessing himself, something which moved him from his now familiar realm of irritation into an entirely new realm of acute displeasure he hadn't realized existed. He eyed her from his corner, face the picture of distaste; rather than control her obnoxious weeping, she was getting _louder_.

_This Sesshoumaru_ will not _endure this indignity any longer,_ he thought to himself, annoyed.

"Enough," he said, voice sharp. She froze and stopped crying, then slowly raised her head to meet his disapproving eyes.

Kagome felt her heart stop at the sound of the demon lord's voice, felt mortified that he was in the room while she was crying. If there was one person on the face of the planet she didn't want to see her cry, it was the always taciturn and proper demon who had tried, on several occasions, to kill both her and Inuyasha. She would rather take twelve algebra exams back to back.

She sniffled loudly and hiccupped, despite her best efforts, and almost died when Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed.

"Miko, you will cease these hysterics," he said, voice low and threatening, "_immediately_."

_What is it about the man—demon—that makes deference to his dictates so swift and unconscious?_ Kagome thought to herself as she swallowed and nodded her head. She managed to swallow another hiccup in the process, and discreetly held her breath in a desperate attempt to get rid of the hiccups and thus save herself from anymore of his displeasure.

"Sit up," he ordered, once she had a semblance of control over herself.

She was quick to do just that, and watched him warily, eyes still shadowed by sorrow. And then a thought occurred, slicing through the pain and gloom in her mind like one of the two swords at his side: _Sesshoumaru_ was here, in Edo, in a miko's hut, and he was talking to _her_. Kagome stiffened, and for the first time began to think about the demon lord's presence, which didn't make any kind of sense at all, regardless of what spin a person put on it. She let that information settle in before raising her eyes to meet his over the fire.

Those flat eyes were watching her, expression closed. And yet…there was something strange about his demeanor, something that she didn't remember from her days traveling with Inuyasha and Sango and Miroku and Shippou. She couldn't place her finger over it, try though she might.

"Why are you here?" she asked at long last.

He stared at her in silence for a long while, then closed his eyes and leaned back into the corner, hands shoved into the sleeves of his kimono.

"For you."


	4. Unholy Alliance

A/N: Soooo…yeah…college is crap. This semester promises to be very taxing on the limits of my patience and sanity. We'll see if I survive. Anyway, here's chapter four, a little later than I would have liked, but here all the same. Enjoy.

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Disclaimer: I wish….

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Words To Know: 

shoiko: a square or rectangular wooden frame for carrying things on one's back; once it's been introduced, I'll be calling it "a pack," just in the interests of making my life easier

sando-gasa: a hat made of sedge, which is a family of plants found especially in marshy areas and usually having solid stems (basically, anyway)

kappa: a kind of cape

tabi: split-toe socks

zori: straw sandals; think feudal era flip-flops

Dokkasou: Toxic Flower Claw; Fluffy-sama's poison attack of choice

hai: yes

arigatou: thanks; the casual/informal form of "doumo arigatou gozaimasu," meaning thank you very much

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Chapter Four: Unholy Alliance 

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_I catch a brief reflection,_

_Of what you could and might have been:_

_It's your right and your ability,_

_To become…__my perfect enemy…_

"Passive"/ A Perfect Circle

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Fate had a demented sense of humor.

It was the only explanation Kagome had for the most recent turn of events—namely, her unasked for journey with her equally unasked for companion.

She supposed it was her own fault; she had been so shocked by his answer to her question that she had neglected to ask any more. She sat in front of him stupidly, and watched him as he sat there in the semi-darkness of the corner, eyes shut and head back, against the wall. She'd been too stunned to react when Mine had come into the hut and fussed over her, concerned by the strangeness of her posture and her seeming inability to communicate. It was a first, and what was more, it was also intensely ironic: a man—demon—who hardly ever said more than ten words had rendered her, a chatterer by nature, completely and utterly speechless.

The older woman had fed her and insisted that she go to sleep. She had been more timid in regards to Sesshoumaru; Kagome had watched the woman place a bowl of rice and another of noodles, vegetables and meat, along with a pair of chopsticks, four feet away from the demon lord, the closest she dared venture near him. Kagome never saw him move toward the food, but when she awakened the next morning, the bowls were empty, the chopsticks laying next to them neatly. As for the demon, he was no longer in the corner.

Kagome sat up, still in a fog. She was almost glad that Sesshoumaru had told her of his reason for coming to Edo—it prevented her from thinking any more on the subject of Inuyasha, had helped that numb feeling seep back into her body, and she clung to that feeling desperately, wrapping it around her like a tattered cloak.

Mine had then come in, looking harried. She'd hastily dished up Kagome's breakfast, then disappeared into a small back room that Kagome hadn't noticed before. She ate slowly, feeling detached from this world she was in. It wasn't the same feeling she'd had the first day, that feeling of being outside of her body, watching herself. This was more akin to being insulated, as if she were sitting in her own private bubble, separated from what was going on around her.

Mine had come back out, holding a bow and a quiver stocked with arrows. She also held a shoiko already stocked with a rolled up blanket and a bamboo box, and there was a bamboo pipe hanging from it as well, the feudal era's equivalent of a water bottle. She set the shoiko down and went back into the back room, to return a few moments later with a sando-gasa and kappa in hand and, Kagome noticed absently, a white haori and pair of red hakama folded over her left arm. The older woman stopped before her and knelt, setting the items down. Kagome, unconcerned, continued eating.

"Kagome-sama?" Mine asked hesitantly.

She looked up, chewing. The older woman gnawed on her bottom lip, then sighed in frustration, wringing her hands.

"These are for you," she said finally. A pause. "The youkai says you are to change into these robes here after you eat."

Kagome swallowed and sent her a vacant smile. "Uh-huh," she replied hollowly.

Mine sighed, but settled down next to Kagome and waited for her to finish eating, watching the young woman sadly. Kagome had wondered—somewhere in the back of her mind—why Mine looked so unhappy. But she was too comfortably numb to inquire as to the cause of the woman's distress.

She finished, and Mine set the bowl aside and picked up the white haori and red hakama, along with a pair of white tabi Kagome hadn't noticed before. She set them before Kagome, smoothing out the wrinkles, then glanced up the young woman.

"Kagome-sama, these are yours, to keep," she said slowly. "The youkai wishes for you to change into them." She watched the vacant eyes. "Do you understand?"

Kagome didn't answer, didn't want to shatter her little bubble. Mine sighed, then rose slowly, as if feeling far older than she looked.

Fifteen minutes later, Mine led Kagome, now in the traditional miko's garb and borrowed zori, out of her hut. She held the bow; the quiver had been slung over Kagome's shoulder. The shoiko had been strapped to her back, after having been packed with some foodstuffs, the pajamas she'd arrived in, and the old dark blue haori and hakama that Mine had dressed her in after she'd come back from Inuyasha's grave. The kappa and sendo-gasa had also been strapped onto the shoiko, as Kagome hadn't seemed to want to wear either of them, and Mine was too anxious about keeping Sesshoumaru waiting to argue. They walked through Edo, which was curiously deserted. If Kagome had bothered to take note of this unusual occurrence and question Mine about it, she would have learned that Sesshoumaru's presence had scared everyone into hiding. But she didn't notice, so she didn't ask.

They walked to the edge of Edo, toward Goshinboku. Sesshoumaru stood under the great old tree's reaching branches, hands in his voluminous kimono sleeves, face raised to the sky, eyes closed. Mine's stride shortened considerably the closer they got to the demon lord. Mine stopped four feet away from him. There was a moment of lengthy silence. Kagome was staring at Goshinboku as if she'd never seen it before; Mine was staring at the demon.

Sesshoumaru's eyes opened and he lowered his face, looked down at the elder miko from his superior height, then looked at Kagome. She felt someone looking at her, and her eyes sought out the source. Her empty gaze met his.

"She is dressed as you requested, youkai-sama," Mine murmured, swallowing audibly.

Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered to her. Mine took a step back.

"You…will take care of her, youkai-sama? She has been dealt a difficult blow," Mine inquired softly, squeezing Kagome's hand.

Sesshoumaru's eyes once again went to Kagome, who had never looked away from him.

"She is now my concern," he said, voice cold.

Mine's grip on Kagome's hand tightened, then relaxed. She turned to the young woman, brought up the hand she held and transferred the bow into it before letting it go. Kagome stared into the miko's sad, kind face. The older woman placed her hands on Kagome's cheeks and searched her face for anything, then sighed.

"Gods protect you, Kagome-sama," she murmured, then hugged Kagome tightly before letting go and stepping back.

Kagome stared at her, then heard a sound behind her and turned to find Sesshoumaru disappearing into Inuyasha Forest. She looked back to Mine, who nodded. So Kagome had turned and followed in Sesshoumaru's wake, never looking around to see Goshinboku or the miko who had tended her so gently. Now she wished she had.

The bubble hadn't lasted long. Slowly, as the morning had progressed, Kagome found that travel had the disadvantage of forcing her into acknowledging her surroundings; it was that, or fall flat on her face, and her first contact with the ground had very nearly shattered her kneecaps in addition to her illusions.

She had tripped over something and fallen forward. For several seconds, she lay there, a little startled to find herself outside. She had a vague memory of Mine standing by Goshinboku. She rolled onto her side and looked at the forest around her, forehead wrinkling into a frown of confusion.

_Where am I?_ she wondered. She felt the cold pull of youki close by and shuddered. _Do I_ really _want to know?_

Slowly, Kagome sat up and rubbed her knees; she'd landed on them quite hard when she'd fallen. She also automatically checked her bow, made sure it was still in one piece. She did a double take, though, when she realized she _had_ a bow—she didn't remember having one with her when she'd arrived in Sengoku Jidai. She looked it over curiously. It looked very much like her old one, except that this one had been polished to a high shine by years of use. The wood was black and the string was strong and tight. It was a good bow, a well-built one…and Kagome had no memory of how she had acquired it.

She looked around and couldn't, for the life of her, figure out where in the hell she was. All she knew was that she had, for some reason, entered a forest…somewhere. She let out a huff and struggled to her feet, rubbing her knees again as she rose, and looked around. She didn't hear anything, but the pull of youki was closer, more insistent than it had been. Ten years of absence hadn't dulled two years of training: she automatically reached over her shoulder, into the quiver, and brought forth an arrow, which she smoothly nocked. Then, she focused on the youki and tried to pinpoint it. In this, she was less successful, never having the skill, or the time necessary to train herself to acquire it.

She managed to locate the youki a second before its owner appeared: Sesshoumaru materialized from the shadowy depths of the forest, looking very displeased. Kagome replaced her arrow in the quiver, morosely wondering why he was here and why she had a feeling that her being in the forest was directly tied to his being in the forest.

"Miko," he said, voice sounding calm if more than a little irritated, "I do not intend to come back for you every time you fall behind."

"All right," she agreed, hoping he'd give her some sense of where they were heading—because it seemed she was traveling with him. For some reason.

Instead, he turned around and went back the way he'd come, and Kagome, after staring at his retreating figure, sighed and thought to herself,

_Right. Because I expected normal conversation with an up-tight youkai lord. I must be on drugs. _

Sesshoumaru listened to the miko struggle along behind him, noisily following as best she could. And thought for the thousandth time that Fate's sense of humor was wretched.

Not only had he been reduced to seeking the help of a human—a _miko_, no less!—the human _had_ to be his half-brother's annoying bitch. The gods, he decided, would pay for this indignity. Never mind that they were supernatural beings—not even a deity could force Sesshoumaru to forsake his pride with impunity.

For some time now—the last eight years, really—Sesshoumaru had been locked in battle with a foe almost as elusive as Naraku had been. He still had no idea what the hell he was up against, in fact; he'd never even seen it, had only felt its youki, and that demonic energy had _dripped_ of power.

Its damn minions, however, were a different story. These, he had seen and dealt with many times; they were actually leading armies of enslaved youkai against him, and he had lowered himself two years ago and gone to the other three lords to ask for their collaboration when it had dawned on him that no matter how much power he had, the minions were too many and always coming.

The lords had flatly refused him, an act of betrayal that had stunned and infuriated him, and merely proved what he'd always thought of them: they were worthless, lazy bastards. He told them so. Then, he slaughtered the Lord of the Northern Lands, whom he'd always found particularly offensive. He'd left, dark blood dripping from his claws and hate alive in every fiber of his body. The last he'd heard of the lords, the entity Sesshoumaru was fighting had absorbed the two left living. At the time, he'd been almost jovial upon receiving the news. That murderous glee had quickly sobered when further intelligence revealed that the entity hadn't just absorbed the lords but their powers as well. And while they had nothing on him, they had been the lords of their respective lands for a reason.

Those youkai who had refused to join the whatever it was had either been killed or fled to parts unknown. The entire youkai world had been thrown into chaos—and he was the lone hold-out. It was an impossible situation, even for him. It didn't help that Sesshoumaru had never been shy about expressing his general disdain for everyone. He was furious that these unworthy scum he so despised should be joining ranks against him—and winning.

He had succeeded in keeping the House of the Moon from falling into the hands of his unknown enemy, but the triumph had been narrow. For the first time in his life, he was learning what desperation was, and he had not taken kindly to the feeling; half of his forest land was gone, cleared by the lord of the realm personally, after an especially difficult win. The miko was his last and only chance at defeating…whatever the hell it was—the grieving, untrained miko who was tripping her way through the forest behind him.

_Yes,_ he thought, seething, _the gods will pay for this._

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"I'm stopping!" Kagome yelled.

There was no response.

Kagome scowled at the rapidly disappearing demon's back, then plopped down in the middle of the road, landing hard on her backside. She was too exhausted to care.

She had never been so tired, had never been so miserable, had never entertained so many different ways of torturing anyone, in her entire life. And yet, he…kept…walking. As if he never meant to stop. As if he meant to walk on forever and ever, and expected her to follow along as best she could—_now_ who was on drugs?

Kagome sighed, removed her right zori and tabi and rubbed her foot. It was sore and several blisters had begun to bloom.

_Great,_ she thought sourly, _now I'll never catch up to him._ She snorted. _As if I wanted to._

Irritation was good. It kept her going and it kept her occupied with other things. She was hiding from her misery again. It wasn't completely forgotten; her heart felt like a lead weight in her chest, and she doubted it would ever feel whole again. But she was spared from dwelling on it by having a distraction: feeling coerced by Sesshoumaru.

She still didn't know why she was following him, except that she knew she'd never be able to make it back to Edo by herself or else she'd have left hours ago. She was really starting to wish she hadn't been so submissive, too. Sesshoumaru had never sought her out for anything, unless it had something to do with killing her or Inuyasha or both. Other than that, the demon lord had seen fit not to waste his time with the likes of their little rag-tag group. She wished he'd seen fit to leave her in Edo, wished he'd deemed her useless for whatever he had cooking. It was the one time in her life when she wouldn't have minded being thought of as lacking. My, how times had changed.

She sighed. She should have begged Mine to purify Sesshoumaru for her. That way, she could have stayed by Goshinboku and Inuyasha. She wouldn't have objected to dismal sorrow for the rest of her life, mourning over Inuyasha's grave until she withered away into a shell of her former self. Like Kikyou. The idea of being at all like the ill-fated priestess was uncomfortable, though. They already shared a remarkably similar countenance—did she _really_ want to share an eerily similar fate? Did she _really_ want to have to share Inuyasha with her predecessor…again?

She felt Sesshoumaru's youki approaching and ignored it, rubbing her foot and moodily contemplating the ground before her. That was why she failed to note the speed with which the demon was approaching. The next thing she knew, Sesshoumaru landed next to her, having clearly come from above, and grabbed her by the hair. He jerked her to her feet and began walking, and Kagome, startled and outraged, fell to her knees. Sesshoumaru didn't halt. And being dragged by the hair by a demon spun her into a totally new dimension of pissed that she'd never known existed.

So she whacked his armor at precisely the exact moment that her holy ki burst to life. Which she hadn't planned. But, as far as coincidences went, it was fine by her.

Sesshoumaru was felled by the ki. Actually, he was sent flying into the forest and since he hadn't let go of the miko's hair, she flew with him. He slammed into a particularly stout tree, preventing him from traveling any farther off course than he already had, despite the fact that he broke the tree with his impact and sent it crashing down on the forest floor. It might have been a rather fortunate occurrence...if his half-brother's bitch hadn't just smashed through his armor and scorched his skin. And as soon as he regained the ability to breathe and the pain that had ripped through his chest receded, he was going to make sure the miko appreciated just how unpleasant the experience had been for him.

Kagome landed more or less near Sesshoumaru—he did have her by the hair, after all—her temple making direct contact with his armor. Her head exploded in blinding pain, and she clutched her skull with both hands, whimpering. The pain was beginning to ease when Sesshoumaru yanked her head back using her hair. Kagome let out a cry and looked up at the demon. His eyes were narrowed, the pupils reduced in size. He brought his other hand up—that was when she realized that his left arm had regenerated—and Kagome saw that it was glowing green. She felt the blood drain from her face even as her holy ki began to gather itself up to protect her.

"If you try to purify me again, I _will_ use my Dokkasou on you, Miko," Sesshoumaru said, yanking sharply on her hair and granting him better access to her neck.

She stared up at him in fright for several seconds, then glared, suddenly fed up with being dragged all over Creation by the cantankerous dog demon. By the gods, she hadn't asked to come back to this kind of abuse. All she'd ever wanted was to see Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango, and Shippou again.

"So what?" she threw back. "Go ahead, use it on me! See if I give a damn about your Dokkasou!"

It probably wasn't the right reply, but she had never been very good with the finer points involved in the proper mode of response to a threat on her life.

He watched her, his expression icy. He touched his claws to the delicate flesh on her neck and dug into the skin just enough to be painful without actually breaking through, and despite her bravado, Kagome began to feel sick. The look in his eyes did not bode well for her current status as a living being. She was sure, in fact, that the slightest miscalculation on her part would set him off and prematurely end her life. She swallowed audibly, hating that she was letting him know how scared she really was of him. Which was not to say that she had suddenly found a reason to live—she hadn't. She just wanted a little more control over the hour and manner of her demise than she currently had.

His claws dug deeper, and Kagome grimaced. This was really it. She was going to be poisoned by Inuyasha's elder half-brother, in a forest, for accidentally sort of purifying him. Funny how she'd never imagined going out in quite this manner. Or maybe, she thought, it wasn't quite so funny. In fact, she was, at the moment, finding the situation decidedly unfunny. She felt a claw break through the skin and managed to keep from screaming in agony. The son of a bitch was going to murder her here, in a place she had no business being in, in an era she had no business being in—wait a minute. Why would the well have let her through if she was no longer needed here?

She forced herself to meet his glare, forced herself not to faint; if she was going out, she'd meet him dirty look for dirty look. And she'd damn well get some answers first.

"Why am I here?" she asked, voice coming out weakly, despite her resolve to die with _some_ dignity.

"Because I wish it," Sesshoumaru bit off succinctly, and abruptly threw her into the nearest tree. She turned just in time to keep from cracking her head open, and smashed her shoulder instead. She lay at the foot of the tree for a moment, wanting to die. On thinking of Sesshoumaru's glowing hand, she decided that there were better ways of going out, and she sat up painfully, cradling her sore shoulder. Nothing was broken, but by damn, she was going to feel it for a long while.

She leaned back against the tree and looked at the demon. He hadn't moved. He was watching her, looking as if he were waiting for the slightest excuse to decapitate her. It wasn't the most appealing death, but it was better than the poison in his claws.

They sat under their respective trees in a long tense silence. Kagome timidly prodded her shoulder and carefully felt her temple, searching for lumps. She also held a hand to the wound on her neck, which was trickling blood onto the once immaculate haori. She was shaking slightly, though whether from fear or relief or shock, she was unable to tell. It was enough at the moment that she knew she was still alive. Sesshoumaru sat as if frozen, his face the picture of loathing. Tired of it at long last, Kagome snapped,

"What is your problem? Why the hell am I here if you hate me so much?"

She didn't think he was going to answer. That was when she thought about saying "Screw it," and reaching for an arrow. He'd kill her, but not before she purified him straight to hell, and wasn't _that_ a cheering thought?

"You are here because I require a miko of formidable power," he said finally.

"Why?" she immediately asked, surprised she'd gotten a response and even more surprised that he had need of a _miko_, of all things.

His face seemed to tighten in displeasure but he said,

"I cannot purify youkai."

The bizarre response caught her off guard and she stared at him, eyes wide, as if he'd announced he had a particular fondness for humans that he'd only just now discovered.

"What the hell kind of reason is that?" she asked finally, sounding mystified.

"_My_ reason," Sesshoumaru returned, voice dangerous in its tranquility. "Now get up, Miko. And remember what I said."

"Oh I didn't do it on purpose," Kagome replied irritably as she struggled to her feet. She rubbed her shoulder again, wincing when the nerves there screamed. "Shit," she muttered. She glared at him. "Did you absolutely _have_ to throw me at a tree? Wouldn't rubbing my face in the dirt have been satisfying enough?"

"No," he returned, rising gracefully to his feet.

"Jerk," she murmured under her breath. She wasn't sure how to approach the subject of the puncture wound in her neck without perhaps winding up in the same position, so she decided that ignoring the incident altogether was best.

He didn't bother replying—not that she'd expected him to.

"If I promise not to zap you again, will you promise not to throw me at any more trees? I'm not into the whole flying through the air thing." she said.

_But you do it so well,_ he thought nastily. He knew better than to say so:

"If you do not annoy me again, I will not throw you into any more trees."

"I _annoyed_ you…so you _threw_ me at a _tree_?" she asked in disbelief.

He just barely stopped his hands from going around her neck. His fingers twitched though.

_I cannot kill her. Not yet._

That thought calmed him slightly. There was always later. If she proved especially infuriating. And maybe even if she didn't.

"We have some distance to cross yet," he said, completely ignoring her query. He then turned and began walking back toward the path they had so abruptly veered off. Behind him, he heard the miko scramble after him, cursing under her breath about her shoulder. Inwardly, he smiled in satisfaction. It wasn't quite an eye for an eye, but it was enough for now.

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"So…." Kagome began. She waited for the demon lord to acknowledge that she was alive. When he didn't answer, she cleared her throat.

"So…." she prompted again. And got a similar response. She sighed; of all the people to be traveling _anywhere_ with, she'd been stuck with Chuckles here. Someone was taking this dark cosmic joke way too far.

They'd been traveling all day in mostly silence since Sesshoumaru had agreed to stop throwing her into trees. When the silence between them was broken, Kagome was the offender. Her words fell on deaf ears; the demon didn't pay her any mind at all. And after several failed attempts at even basic conversation, Kagome gave up and resigned herself to the fact that all she had to work with was uncomfortable quiet. Because not even the birds in the woods were making a sound. She figured they had caught on to the dark undertone of Sesshoumaru's youki. At least she finally knew what was different about him.

It hadn't been until he'd sunk that claw into her neck that she'd realized why he seemed so strange. There was a tenseness to him that was out of character, an almost unsettled aura radiating from him. He didn't _feel_ calm and cold, even though, for all intents and purposes, that was the façade he wore. It would have worked too…except for the uncharacteristic tone of his youki. She'd always been a little scared of him. But after being attacked, she was scared for her life, and wary of irritating him overly. Yes, he had come all this way for her—but there was no guaranteeing that he needed her badly enough not to kill her if she proved a trial to his patience.

"Um…so," she began slowly, shortening her step so that she fell a little behind him. It wouldn't keep him from ripping her head off, he was too fast for her to dodge, but the precaution made her feel slightly safer.

There was no inquiry or reply, and Kagome made an effort to tamp down her rising temper.

_I suppose I'll have to zap him again to get his attention, and then he'll brain me into another tree, and then I'll never know when we're going to stop,_ she reflected gloomily.

"Sesshoumaru," she said wearily after a moment's hesitation, "when are we going to stop?"

"We are not stopping."

She was so surprised that he'd answered her that she didn't hear what he'd said at first. Once his words were processed, however, she frowned.

"But, we have to stop."

No answer.

"I mean, we _really_ have to stop."

No answer.

"My shoulder is killing me and so are my feet. I'm exhausted and starving."

No answer.

"I'd even be happy with a three hour stop. I'd take a nap, you know, and eat—"

"We are not stopping."

Kagome stopped walking and stamped her foot.

"Well damn it, why not?" she wailed.

There was no answer. And Kagome suddenly reached the absolute limit of her own will power, where not even her own fragile mortality mattered to her anymore. She was sure that traveling with Sesshoumaru was going to kill her anyway, one way or another, and there was little point in shying away from the inevitable. So she stopped. And screamed:

"I'm not moving another foot!"

Sesshoumaru stopped walking and didn't move for a moment, then slowly turned on his heel to face her. She wished he'd kept walking: his face was completely blank…but he had a killing look in his eye. Kagome drew in a nervous breath.

"I want to stop," she said, forcing her voice to come out normally. "I _need_ to stop. I'm not youkai, I can't keep going at this pace without resting."

"We are not stopping," he repeated, voice hard and sharp.

"Maybe _you_ aren't, but _I_ am." Kagome returned. "I'm stopping and you can't make me keep going."

"Then I'll kill you." he said calmly, and her blood froze in her veins at his blasé tone.

"I thought you needed a miko," she said.

"You are not the only miko in all of Japan, woman," he returned, low and furious. "I could just as easily kill you and find another." He glowered at her. "In fact, it would be far easier than dealing with your idiocy."

She didn't like the way his pupils had diminished in size, or the way his eyes were bleeding red, or the way the magenta stripes on his cheeks were thickening and growing ragged. She'd seen him transform only once, but it had been enough.

"All I'm asking for is three hours, Sesshoumaru," she said quietly. "Just three hours to sit and eat and rest."

"We have wasted too much time already," he returned.

"It's just three hours," Kagome said, a note of desperation creeping into her voice. She immediately regretted saying the words: a shadow passed over his features, making him even more terrifying than he already was. She knew then that whatever had brought him to this point was deathly serious.

"Will it make you cease your chatter?" he asked tightly.

"Hai," she blurted, half-lying. Stopping for three hours would keep her quiet…once she fell asleep. There were no promises about what came after that. But she knew better than to let him know that.

"Then you may have two hours."

Kagome bristled at the way he said it and the way he'd shaved off time from her rest without consulting her, but it was actually more than she'd been expecting.

"Arigatou," she returned with the least amount of graciousness she could get away with and not be rude. Er.

Sesshoumaru didn't acknowledge her faintly unpleasant pleasantry; he merely turned and kept walking. Kagome followed him, knowing she would soon be able to rest. Slightly, anyway—there was no way she was going to be getting very comfortable with a totally unbalanced dog demon near by.

For his part, once his immense self-satisfaction had faded, Sesshoumaru began cursing himself in earnest for having let his youkai blood overcome his common sense, even for a second. After all, it had only taken a second to push his claw through the delicate skin of the miko's neck. He hadn't been thinking, and what a lucky thing it had been for him that he hadn't sliced through her jugular. At least he'd had the presence of mind to wait until his poison had receded. The area around the wound was an angry, inflamed red, though, and now he had given himself a new worry: there was a very real possibility that the wound could kill the miko.

Throwing her at a tree, while relieving some of his frustration, had been another bad idea. She might have been seriously injured or killed, and he would have ruined his own plans. He'd have to remember to attack the tree next time and not the miko. But by the gods, it was so tempting to murder the wench. Everything about her annoyed him beyond all reason. His tolerance level was irrationally low, and it worried him that she seemed to have the power to make him lose his mind and just react without thinking. It worried him considerably. And made him question the prudence of his strategy. This couldn't work if they were at odds…and since he'd first heard her screech (it hadn't been overly taxing to figure out who the offender had been), the woman had rubbed him wrong in the worst way; if it had been physically possible, he'd have probably had a rash by now.

He glanced over his shoulder at her. She looked pale and unwell, and her shoulder was still giving her trouble, judging by the way her hand kept returning to it. His eyes were drawn to the rather prominent spot of dried blood on the collar of her haori. His chest contracted painfully again, as it had several times a day for the past two years, but one would never have known of his discomfort by looking at him. Yes, he would have to work especially hard at not attacking the miko again—too much of his pride and worth, too much of his life, depended on her and her power. He faced forward again, viciously fighting back the worry and doubt that threatened to overwhelm his mind. Perhaps resting for a spell was a good idea after all.

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They reached a compromise that night: if Sesshoumaru would give Kagome two hours to rest every night, she would refrain from speaking to him. It was an easy arrangement for each, as neither wanted to have any interaction with the other, but it didn't necessarily lead to any sort of level of comfort between them. Kagome did notice that once she stopped talking, Sesshoumaru seemed less intense, which was quite fine with her—anything that was going to keep his claws away from her neck.

The only drawback was that Kagome still had no idea why Sesshoumaru needed her. Well, that wasn't quite true. Apparently, he needed her to purify demons, which she thought was incredibly odd, and wondered why in the world he would want to purify one of his own kind. She decided, at long last, that he'd moved on to feuding with other demons once Inuyasha had died. And then an appalling thought struck her: what if Sesshoumaru had managed to somehow kill Inuyasha? She wouldn't have put it past the demon lord, and the idea horrified her and made her even more uneasy with his presence.

Oh gods…what had she been thinking when she'd allowed herself to follow him?


	5. Blur

A/N: I am going to try very hard to stick to the updating schedule I started out with, despite the fact that this semester hates my existence. I know there are people out there keeping up with _Dead_, and I will try very hard to not disappoint those of you who are waiting on the next chapter. That said, I give you chapter five, in which our mismatched companions continue to annoy the shit out of each other.

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Disclaimer: I wish….

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Words To Know:

ri: Japanese unit of distance; one ri is roughly equivalent to 2.44 miles

oi: hey

baka: an all-purpose insult to one's general intelligence, with severity resting primarily on the tone of voice employed; within the contexts of this story, it means "idiot"

hentai: pervert

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Chapter Five: Blur

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_Lost again:_

_Broken and weary,_

_Unable to, find my way;_

_Tail in hand,_

_Dizzy and clearly unable to_

_Just, let this go…._

"Gravity"/ A Perfect Circle

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Two days later, Kagome stumbled to her knees. She had a fever and knew the wound in her neck had become infected, despite the precautions she'd taken to keep it clean. She reached up and pressed the back of her hand to her neck, grimacing at the contact. The area was extremely inflamed and tender, and she hadn't been able to sleep the night before because of the discomfort caused by the simple act of swallowing.

"Sesshoumaru," she called, voice sounding rusty due to the fact that she hadn't been using it.

He paused.

"I'm sorry, but I need to find a village. Fast."

Sesshoumaru turned and seemed vaguely surprised to find her on her knees.

"Why?"

"My neck…." She paused. "The wound there, it's infected."

If she'd been able to see his reaction from where she was, Kagome guessed he would have sighed. He walked to where she knelt and leaned down, then reached out and grabbed her wrist. Kagome jerked in response, instinctively trying to get away from him, and he sent her one of those silent, deadly looks that commanded obedience. He then removed her hand from her neck and inspected the wound. He let go of her wrist and straightened, and she thought she saw his nose twitch.

"There is a village near by, just beyond the wood," he said after sniffing the air.

"Can you tell how close?" she asked, rising on shaking legs.

He sniffed the air again. "At most, three ri," he decided. He looked down at her.

"Lead the way," she said, gesturing vaguely to the trail they had been following.

He turned and began heading in the direction of the village, and after a moment, he heard her follow him.

He had smelled the pus from the infection last night, but because she hadn't mentioned it, he hadn't made comment. He had worried over it, though, despite himself. This was a complication that he couldn't afford. And it had been his own damn fault. That galled him the most.

He looked back often to check on her progress. Her cheeks were flushed and she was shaking slightly. Her eyes had a glazed look to them, and she was clutching her shoulder again.

_Fuck,_ he thought to himself, saying in his mind what he would never dare let pass through his lips.

They reached the village, Kagome only half-lucid; she kept walking out of sheer will. Their appearance caused quite a stir, and Kagome had to place herself in front of Sesshoumaru and explain to the villagers that he wouldn't attack them if they left him the hell alone. She used those exact words, too. Sesshoumaru found himself silently approving their use.

The head man led them to the village miko's hut, where Kagome had to once again explain that he wasn't going to kill anyone unless provoked. The old woman was a harder sell than the other inhabitants had been, though.

"What kind of miko travels with youkai?" the old woman demanded suspiciously.

"This one," Kagome snapped. "Now please look at my neck—the sooner you help me the sooner we'll leave."

He felt the anger roll off her in waves, and Sesshoumaru suddenly didn't mind her company quite so much. In fact, he preferred her like this, mean and out of temper—she irritated him worse when she was depressed.

She had a difficult time with the remedy the old woman came up with. For one thing, the wound was reopened and the pus allowed to drain out. Kagome managed to keep from screaming, though tears rolled down her face when the hot knife tore open her too warm flesh. The old woman actually extended the cut, then made Kagome hold a small bowl under the incision. The smell was retch-inducing, and Sesshoumaru moved to the doorway, where the breeze helped cover most of the scent.

"How'd you do that?" the old woman asked Kagome, whose nose and eyes were as red as her cheeks.

The younger woman sniffled painfully. "Accident," she said. "I met with a bad fall a few days back."

The old woman snorted.

"Youth!" she muttered, using her meaty fist to pound some unknown herb.

It got quiet after that. Only Kagome's sniffling broke the silence, and if he had been so inclined by nature, Sesshoumaru would have almost felt sorry for causing her so much trouble. As it was, he felt his long-silent conscience prick him. He had, after all, caused her this pain, and himself this delay. He brushed the accusing thoughts aside, though, and folded his hands into his kimono sleeves while reclining against the doorjamb.

Within several minutes, the old woman waddled back to Kagome and began poking around the incision, making Kagome gnash her back teeth to keep from screaming. He knew because he could hear her grinding them together. After a full minute of probing, the old woman nodded, then began to wipe the blood off Kagome's neck. She told the young woman to hold a cloth to her neck, then took her little bowl with her and went outside, saying she was out of water and she'd be right back.

The young miko looked extremely dejected. She sat lotus style on the floor, in dirty clothing, holding a semi-bloody cloth to her neck. She was no longer crying, but her eyes were watering, and every once in a while a fat tear would roll down her cheek and drop from the point of her chin onto her lap. Sesshoumaru, bothered by the tears but unwilling to escape outside, began examining the dirt floor of the old woman's hut; it was a poor village indeed that they'd come across.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked thickly after a long pause.

He looked up and found her watching him.

"Why did you hurt me?"

He watched her for a moment. "Because I could," he replied at long last.

She searched his face, then sighed. "Next time, just slice my neck all the way through, will you? No more half-assed stuff, please—I don't think I could do that again."

Sesshoumaru didn't reply, mainly because he wasn't exactly sure how to. He was tempted to take her up on her request, but decided now wasn't the time for such foolishness.

The old woman returned and mixed a green, goopy paste, which she then applied to Kagome's neck before wrapping it. Sesshoumaru's nose was deeply offended by the vile smelling substance; one whiff and he felt as if the inside of his nostrils were burning. He managed to keep his discomfort from the women. It wouldn't do to let them know he was at all bothered by the paste's vile stench.

As for Kagome, the smell of the paste made her stomach roil, and she nearly suffered the indignity of losing what little food she'd ingested last night in front of the thoroughly unpleasant miko and the fastidious demon standing by the door. She glanced at him, saw that token bored look on his face, and didn't buy it—if her nose was twitching, his had to be ablaze in agony.

She leapt to her feet the second the old woman finished her ministrations and practically ran to the door.

"Oi!" the old woman yelled. "Get back over here! I need to give you the rest of this!"

"Hell fuck no," Kagome muttered under her breath, and Sesshoumaru bit back a wry smirk at the vehemence of her tone. "Arigatou gozimasu, but we have to get going," she said over her shoulder. She sent Sesshoumaru an urgent look.

"You need it!" the miko said.

"I doubt it—arigatou!" Kagome said with a cheerful wave and smile, then ducked out of the hut.

Sesshoumaru followed her outside. On his way out, he heard the old woman say,

"Suit yourself—you'll be sorry."

_I highly doubt it,_ he thought to himself.

As Fate would have it, exactly three hours later, they were stopped at a stream. Kagome was laying under a tree, sleeping fitfully. Sesshoumaru was keeping watch under another tree not too far away. And _he_ had never been so deeply, utterly sorry in his life.

She had fallen violently ill in the forest. Sesshoumaru hadn't even realized that there was something wrong with her until he heard, faintly from behind him, the sounds of someone retching. He turned around and found that the miko had disappeared. A second later, the bitter smell of vomit reached his nostrils. The retching sound had stopped, but the miko hadn't appeared. He heard her groaning indistinctly.

At this point, he was unsure how to proceed. He really would rather not go into the bushes to fetch her, but if she was too sick to get up he was going to have to. He sighed in acute frustration—he'd been cursed.

"Miko," he called, not bothering to hide his exasperation.

"Sesshoumaru…remember what I told you about slicing through my neck?" her voice weakly carried from the depths of the forest.

"Hai." he returned after a pause where he had seriously debated whether or not responding was a good idea.

"Do it."

"Shit," he said wearily under his breath, and made up his mind: he was going to have to go get her.

She was seated under a tree, back against the rough bark, when he found her, eyes closed and face pale, except for two pink blotches on her cheeks. She opened her eyes slowly when she heard his approach and watched him.

"Are you going to kill me now?" she asked feebly.

"No you stupid woman, I'm going to get you out of the damn woods," he muttered, leaning down and picking her up by the waist with both hands. She screwed her eyes shut and held onto his wrists for dear life. Her palms were cold and clammy. He tucked her under one arm and began walking east; they hadn't made much progress since leaving the village, which had been very near a river, so he supposed that was the best place to start. He also resigned himself to the fact that they wouldn't be getting anywhere today.

He reached the river and placed her under a tree. She curled up into a ball and didn't move. After watching her for a moment, he looked out at the river. Things were NOT going as he'd planned.

He'd removed to a tree near by, watching the water moodily. Black thoughts had been with him for the past few days, memories best not dwelt on that returned to him despite his every effort to obliterate them. It was why he hadn't noticed the miko's worsening condition. That, and the compromise they'd reached. If he hadn't demanded total silence from her, he might have noticed the change in her demeanor.

He snorted—who was he kidding? If he'd only controlled his temper that first day and not given in to his baser instincts, they'd have been halfway to the Western Lands by now.

A moan made him look up. She was sitting up and clutching her throat with one hand. Sesshoumaru stood and went to see what the problem was.

Kagome was sure she was dying. Her head was pounding, her entire neck and shoulders were a mass of screaming nerves, and the rest of her felt like death warmed over. Twice. She was trying to rip the bandages off her neck, but she was too weak to do much more than fiddle with the knot the old woman had tied.

A shadow fell over her and she looked up. There he was: the reason for her discomfort in the first place. Her eyes fell to the claws on his hands, and she met his gaze again.

"Please," she said simply.

Sesshoumaru squatted down in front of her and removed her hand from her neck, then cleanly sliced the bandage away with his claws. Kagome reached up and lightly touched her wound, which throbbed like hell and made her wince, then regarded him with feverish eyes.

"How bad is it?" she asked quietly.

His eyes fell to her neck and he examined the wound for several minutes, thoughts inscrutable.

"It's not quite as red as it was this morning," he said finally.

"Is it better or worse?"

He shrugged. "Neither. It just isn't as red."

Kagome sank back down on the grass and sighed.

"Sesshoumaru?"

He grunted.

"Do me a favor."

He eyed her warily and didn't answer, but she kept speaking as though he had:

"Don't leave me, okay? I don't want to die alone."

He didn't say anything for a while, merely watched the water.

"You won't," he said simply.

Kagome closed her eyes, telling herself she meant to hold him to the words.

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They spent the rest of the day there, with Kagome extremely ill and Sesshoumaru extremely annoyed and agitated by the turn of events.

She was getting worse, not better. Her fever had spiked, and no amount of cool water was helping to bring it down—and for now, water was all he could do.

He went to the river's edge and dunked the damp piece of red cloth that he'd ripped off her obi, then squeezed the excess water out of it.

And one of those dark memories he pretended he didn't remember suddenly loomed before him, catching him off guard:

_He wrung the cloth out, then turned to the futon where a very sick little girl lay, lost in nightmares no doubt full of flashing, tearing teeth and the scent of blood. He laid the cloth on her forehead and sat by her side, silent. Jaken should have returned with the healer by now. It shouldn't have taken the toad so damn long._

_The little girl sobbed, terrified. He sat, frozen, unable to do anything for her, and cursed his own helplessness. It was the longest night of his life. He couldn't bear to stay, but he didn't dare leave her. None of the household staff could stay with her, either—their absence in the shiro was his only reminder that there was a world outside this horrible little sick room, a world that had more important goings-on than a deathly ill human girl to fuss over. _He_ had more important goings-on to fuss over. But nothing, not the smell of disease or approaching death, not the sharp reminder of his distain, his _hatred_, for humanity—not even hell could have kept him from this child's side, when the night was darkest and most ominous._

_She hadn't died._

_She might as well have._

He whirled and looked at the young woman under the tree, his sudden horror and panic subsiding when his mind registered that it wasn't the same girl. He stood there for a moment, caught between the present and the past, and then he shoved the recollection back and away, away into the dark corner of his mind where he'd banished all those memories, and then he slowly began walking toward Kagome. He silently repeated her name to himself, over and over again, as he went.

Kagome opened her eyes and saw Inuyasha leaning over her. He looked strange. She supposed it was probably her fever that made him look different.

She was aware that she was very ill; she hadn't been able to turn her head for several hours now—at least, she thought several hours had passed. She didn't remember where she was or how she'd gotten there, wherever there was, but on seeing Inuyasha's face, she knew he would remedy the issue shortly. He might not find the neatest way, but it would damn sure be the quickest.

_He should take me to Obaa-chan,_ she thought, closing her eyes as he laid a piece of cloth over her forehead. It was wet and cold. Kagome wanted to tell him to get her a blanket, to stop wetting the cloth because it was just making her colder than she already was. But her tongue refused to obey her, and her mouth felt dry and full of cotton. It was easier to just lay there and let him attend to her as he saw fit, despite the fact that it wasn't helping her.

Sesshoumaru watched the miko, then leaned forward and lifted her hair away from her neck. He studied the now-bleeding wound—it appeared that the scab had torn when she'd moved to look at him—growling low in his throat. There was no visible change.

"Baka," he snapped to himself. "This Sesshoumaru should have sealed the wound."

_Oh, of course,_ his mind sarcastically returned, _because the miko was just so_ damn eager_ to be within two feet of you, never mind being at your mercy during the cauterization process._

He growled again, impotently.

This was no good. He should return to the village and once more call on the vile old miko's services. But he couldn't very well leave her here, alone and vulnerable. And he couldn't drag her back to the village; that wouldn't improve her condition at all.

No, he had to remedy this situation himself. He'd caused it—he'd fix it.

Sesshoumaru decided that the best course of action was cleansing the wound again and cauterizing it. He encountered difficulty with the last part of his decision, though: there was nothing to use.

He wouldn't use Tenseiga or Toukijin for this undertaking. The hell he was going to ruin either one of them by using them for such a menial task on such a lowly being. The hanyou probably would have done it. Sesshoumaru's eyes went to the miko's prone form, and he felt his hackles rise. Yes, Inuyasha would have abused Tessaiga in such a manner…to save his precious miko. Humans.

_"Why protect them? Why miss them? Why love them?"_

He was destined to eat his words.

Kagome groaned and he looked at her. She was sweating; he could smell it. He placed a hand on her forehead and noticed immediately that her fever was climbing steadily higher—it was time to stop this useless thinking and act.

He cast about for something—anything—to use, and his eyes settled on her quiver. The arrows, he thought suddenly. The tips could be heated. He removed one arrow and looked it over, then nodded. That problem tackled, he set about building up a fire, and then ripped another piece off her obi and went to the river and wet it, returned to her side and began to wipe off the dried goop and trickling blood from the wound. Kagome was unconscious, for which he was thankful. He didn't need her awake and screaming.

He held the tip of the arrow over the fire, turning it over and over, occasionally glancing over his shoulder at the miko, who slept on, blissfully unaware of what was coming.

Once he deemed the tip ready, he walked to her, and after a moment's hesitation, straddled her chest, so that he could use his knees to pin her shoulders down. With one hand, he took firm hold of her chin and lifted her head so that he had unobstructed access to the wound; with the other hand, he placed the glowing tip to the cut, searing her skin. The smell of burning flesh filled his nostrils, sickening him, but he ignored it as best he could and concentrated on his task.

Pain such as she'd never felt jerked Kagome out of feverish, disjointed dreams. She felt a heavy weight crushing her into the grass, but the white-hot agony she felt in the vicinity of her neck overtook that feeling. She couldn't scream, even though she desperately wanted to. The shock of the acute pain had paralyzed her vocal cords and her lungs, and she wondered if she was dying.

And then the pain receded into a horrible throbbing, and the weight that had been crushing her was suddenly lifted. The smell of meat burning hit her, and she looked around, wondering who was cooking. She saw Sesshoumaru at the river's edge, back to her. He seemed to be getting a drink. Kagome wondered if Inuyasha knew that his elder brother was around; there was going to be a battle once they saw each other.

She tried to move, but a sharp jab from her nerves quickly removed the idea from her mind, and she closed her eyes, hoping Inuyasha would come back soon.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Her fever broke the next day.

Sesshoumaru had settled down under her tree and spent most of the night checking her progress and making sure she drank water at regular intervals. At first, her fever had simply continued to climb. He'd been forced to revert back to the damp cloth. He'd also been forced to listen to her muttering about his brother. He ignored it, closed his ears to her, and instead watched the sky, drawing comfort from the presence of the moon as it hung serenely in the inky darkness, glowing faintly. Once, he'd glanced at the miko and found her watching the moon. He'd thought she was dead at first, but after catching the faint beat of her heart and the rasp of her breath, was satisfied that she was alive, if not well. For now.

During the deepest hour of the night, her fever had stopped climbing, and stayed high for a few hours before beginning to fall, and half an hour before noon, she opened clear eyes to stare at him.

"Did I die?" was the first thing she asked.

"No," he replied.

She didn't seem to have a response to that, so she didn't speak. Several minutes passed.

"Can I eat something?" she murmured, sitting up weakly.

He silently pushed the bamboo box Mine had packed toward her with the toe of his boot. She rifled through the contents and found something she didn't mind eating.

Sesshoumaru went to the river and squatted down. He caught sight of his reflection and smiled grimly. He was gaunt and weary, his usually well put-together appearance travel-worn. It was clear to anyone who looked at him that he was carrying an immense weight on his shoulders.

He dipped a hand into the river and blurred his reflection. No time for that uselessness.

Kagome ate slowly, finding the act of swallowing excruciating, but she was far too hungry to stop eating.

She felt sticky and sweaty and uncomfortable in her skin. Her body felt weak, and she was visibly shaking. All in all, she decided, this particular journey had been a total bust.

_And it ain't over yet,_ she thought, watching Sesshoumaru rise and start walking back to her.

"Are you able to travel?" he asked.

She gaped at him. "I just woke up from a fever!" she said, incredulous.

He glared at her. "Answer the question."

"Hell no! That's my answer!" she threw back.

"Miko, we cannot afford anymore dawdling," he said evenly.

"Look, I'm sure _we_ can't, but unless you want to cart my happy ass all over Creation, _we_ aren't going anywhere."

She ought to have kept her mouth shut.

Half an hour later, Kagome found herself thrown over Sesshoumaru's shoulder as the demon lord leapt from tree to tree. She was holding onto him for dear life and trying very hard not to be sick.

He had generously allowed her to bathe in the river when she had asked. Kagome might have appreciated the gesture, if he hadn't ruined it:

"A bath would do much towards improving your smell."

She had been nursing an intense hatred for the demon since then.

He had also only allowed her to take ten minutes, which she had protested until he shot her a look that would have murdered her violently if it had been possible. Her dissent instantly died on her lips. So, she'd shakily walked downstream until their sad little camp was no longer visible, gotten out of her clothes—which she _desperately_ wanted to wash but didn't dare—and waded into the river, yelling an expletive when she made contact with the cold water. She wet her hair and scrubbed at her skin with a handful of the river bottom, teeth chattering noisily, cursing him both to herself and aloud depending on how miserable she felt from second to second. Apparently, Sesshoumaru had meant exactly ten minutes, because he showed up while she had her back to the shore.

"Miko," he called, and she let out a yelp and ducked down so that only her face was above the water.

She whirled around.

"Get out of here you hentai!" she yelled.

He glared at her, but seemed to decide that responding to the statement was beneath him.

"You have exceeded the allotted time," he said instead. "Get out of the water and get dressed."

"Go away and I will," she threw back, teeth chattering faster.

His glare deepened, but he turned around and showed her his back.

"Get out now," he commanded, and Kagome decided that she had irritated him enough for the time being.

She shot out of the river, used her obi to haphazardly dry off and then scrambled into her clothing, checking every minute to make sure he hadn't turned around. He merely stayed as he was, head tilted to one side as if listening to something. Once she had tied her obi into place, he nodded and walked back toward the camp, and it occurred to Kagome that he had been listening to her _get dressed_. She flushed, embarrassed—hell, he might as well have watched, since his hearing was as good as his eyes.

"Miko…."

"I'm coming!" she blurted, running back to camp.

She had rounded up her meager possessions, grabbed her bow and turned to him expectantly, waiting for him to lead the way. Instead, he grabbed her around the waist and set her over his left shoulder before leaping into the air. Kagome grabbed hold of whatever article of him she could find, desperate not to fall off despite the grip he had on her legs.

She'd flown in an airplane once or twice and never been airsick, much to her happy relief, but Sesshoumaru's shoulder was hardly the match of a coach class seat on a 747. She shut her eyes, feeling dizzy and trying not be sick. For one thing, she'd just bathed. For another, the demon didn't need another reason to dislike her any more than he already did, and she knew without a doubt that throwing up on him would do very little towards ingratiating herself with him.

By the time he leapt from the tree tops to the ground, the sun was setting and they'd been traveling without stopping. He removed her from his shoulder and set her on her feet without speaking. Kagome fell to her knees and hugged the grass as best she could.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and she looked up and saw him staring at her as if she'd lost her mind.

"Being extremely grateful," she returned, sitting up, "that I survived. What was that about, anyway?"

He seemed to sigh—she couldn't tell if he was provoked or not, though—and after a moment said,

"It was more expedient than walking."

"If you don't die, then I guess it would be," she muttered.

He didn't comment. Instead, he walked to a tree and sat under it, folded his hands into his sleeves and leaned against the tree, eyes shut.

"You have two hours, Miko."

It was a familiar routine, and she sighed wearily and dragged herself up. She spent the next fifteen minutes preparing a dinner of sorts for the both of them, cleaned up and then leaned her pack against a tree and laid down next to it, using the balled up kappa as a pillow and throwing the blanket over herself. She set her bow and quiver of arrows next to her, within easy reach, and shut her eyes.

It seemed that only a minute or two had passed when she felt Sesshoumaru nudge her with the toe of his boot. She opened her eyes slowly, blinked away the bleariness of sleep and looked around. The sky was dark, and the moon would be rising soon. She glanced around for Sesshoumaru, found him waiting for her nearby, face lifted to the sky. She struggled to her feet, stretched out her back slightly, then tossed her quiver over her shoulder and strapped her pack on after putting the blanket and kappa away, and took up her bow. She then walked to where he stood and waited for him to acknowledge her existence.

"Do you have a blade?" he asked, and she was startled by both his voice and the question.

"Huh?" she brilliantly replied.

He looked down at her.

"Do you have a blade?" he repeated.

"No," she said, frowning; where in the world had THAT come from?

He inclined his head slightly, as if to say he had expected as much.

"We will have to make a slight deviation," he murmured, more to himself than to her.

"Deviation?" she repeated slowly, as if she'd never heard the word in her life. "Deviation to where?"

"Toutousai's forge. You have need of a katana."

She scowled. "I do not, I have my bow."

He sent her THAT LOOK:

"You run out of arrows eventually, don't you Miko?" he coolly remarked.

She felt foolish without knowing why. The tone he was using, she decided. It made him sound like he was speaking to an idiot.

"Of course," she snapped irritably.

"Then it would behoove you to acquire an alternate weapon, would it not?"

"Only if I knew how to use it and I don't," she replied, mimicking his tone.

He frowned and she thought he was going to retaliate, but he merely said,

"That is a condition this Sesshoumaru shall remedy shortly. Katana first."

Kagome sighed, feeling a little nervous as to exactly how he was planning on "remedying" the situation. That stray thought she'd had about his being Inuyasha's murderer suddenly came back to her full force then, and she felt herself go white. He sent her a strange look, then shrugged and made a move to pick her up. Kagome automatically jumped back, away from him. _Now_ he was provoked:

"Stupid woman, what are you doing?" he snapped, raising his voice for the first time since she'd joined him. She might have enjoyed the fact that she'd finally made him lose his cool if she hadn't been so horrified.

"Nothing," she meekly returned.

"Get over here!"

She hesitantly walked back over to him and stiffened when he grabbed her by the waist. Instead of his left shoulder, he threw her over his right one, against the weird white pelt he wore. She grabbed hold of it, and he wrapped his arm around the backs of her thighs and jumped.

Kagome shut her eyes. What was she doing? She might be helping the man who had killed Inuyasha. He'd always sworn he'd do it, after all, and even during the last battle with Naraku, they'd been tossing insults and threats back and forth, though Kagome had always held out the overly optimistic hope that the brothers might come to terms and—at the very least—stop trying to kill each other.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked, keeping her eyes shut as they leapt from tree top to tree top.

She felt his sigh. "What now Miko?" he asked, sounding weary.

"What happened to Inuyasha?" she asked softly.

He was silent for so long she thought the wind might have snatched away her words, and then he dryly said,

"He died."

It was her turn for a long pause. She almost didn't ask him, afraid he might say he had killed his own flesh and blood; if there was one good quality Sesshoumaru possessed, it was that he refused to tarnish his honor by lying. In the end, her morbid interest won out:

"But how?"

Another silence, this one brief. Then:

"He jumped down your well and broke his neck."


	6. Death, Ki and Other Hazards

A/N: This is another short one, only ten pages, but it does explain a few things and introduce a few others. There is a method to my madness, I promise….

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Disclaimer: I wish….

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Words To Know: 

yoroi: armor

katana: long sword; somewhere between two and four feet in length

kanzen youkai: perfect demon (h'm, wonder who this could be in reference to….)

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**Chapter Six: Death, Ki and Other Hazards**

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

_Allow me to let it go,_

_Allow me to be forgiven,_

_Show me the way to let go…_

"Thomas"/ A Perfect Circle

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

She was surprised that she was still alive when Sesshoumaru touched down in front of Toutousai's cave just before sunrise.

The news had been a killing blow—whatever else remained of her heart had been ruthlessly cut down by the demon lord's words.

_"He jumped down your well and broke his neck."_

How much longer before the hideous aftermath of the Shikon no Tama sent her to _her_ death?

Kagome hadn't made any response to Sesshoumaru's matter-of-fact revelation, because there was simply no response that could be made. She had cried until there was nothing left. Her heart was in shreds, irrevocably damaged. Her soul was as dead as Inuyasha. What was left? Why bother to react? What the hell was the point? It didn't change facts: Inuyasha was still dead and Kagome was still in love with him. Well fuck, look at that—it seemed she'd turned into Kikyou after all. In reverse.

At length, Sesshoumaru had stopped, taken her off his shoulder and adjusted her against him so that he could pull his youki under him and send them flying far faster than he could ever hope to leap. Kagome laid her cheek against his pelt and stared at the sky as it rushed past her but saw nothing. Not because of the speed at which they were traveling, but because…well, what was the point anymore?

Sesshoumaru wondered if he should have told the miko how Inuyasha had died. He had expected her to begin her stupid weeping again. Instead, something cold and heavy had settled over her aura, and she seemed to go limp, lifeless, against his shoulder. If he hadn't been able to hear her breathing or heart beat, he would have thought her dead. When he'd paused to switch modes of transportation and lifted her off his shoulder, her eyes had been empty. It was an expression that made him hesitate. What was this?

There was a glassy look to her eyes that he didn't particularly care for. She didn't look capable of standing and keeping her balance, so he decided it was probably best if she held onto him. He had to physically place her hands on him, one hand gripping his pelt, the other what was left of his armor. As an added precaution, he'd placed a hand on her pack, holding her to him as his youki lifted them. He'd looked down at her several times, growing more grudgingly concerned by the minute as that odd coldness wrapped itself tighter around her. What in the hell was going on now?

They didn't speak again. Even when he landed before the entrance to Toutousai's mountain forge. He simply released her, and then gently—though why he was so considerate was entirely beyond him—pried her fingers from his pelt and the armor she'd ruined. Her soulless eyes flickered up to him, then to the mouth of the cave where the old fool lived. Sesshoumaru watched her, perplexed by the change in demeanor. She moved as if she were hundreds of years old, older even than him, and that was impossible: he was a very respectable five hundred and sixty-six. But the comparison stuck with him.

And speaking of abdominally old things….

Sesshoumaru turned and strode into the cave.

"Old man," he called, raising his voice more than he generally liked to.

No answer.

"Toutousai!" he tried again a little louder, his already fragile patience wearing just a little thinner.

Again, there was no answer, and Sesshoumaru did something he had never allowed himself to do: he lost his mind.

"Toutousai, you incompetent bastard! Get out here NOW!" he roared, his voice echoing through the cavern.

An old demon with bulging eyeballs and a generally emaciated appearance emerged from some ungodly hole somewhere, looking more bugged-eyed than usual. He held that damnedable hammer in one hand, too, as if he meant to use it as protection. Sesshoumaru smiled tightly, grimly, hands twitching.

_I should only be so lucky to have the baka try to use it on me,_ he thought to himself with a kind of homicidal glee he was beginning to get used to. Especially since it was a feeling the miko seemed to inspire in him constantly.

"Sesshoumaru?" the old man asked, sounding confused.

"Of course, who else would it be?" Sesshoumaru snapped impatiently.

Toutousai stared at him owlishly in confusion, then caught sight of his destroyed armor and let out a bellow:

"What have you _done_ to my beautiful yoroi!"

"I didn't do anything you baka—the hanyou's bitch did it," the demon lord snarled.

"Inuyasha?" the old man asked, stopping in mid-rant to stare at the younger demon. Then he sniffed the air and walked outside, past Sesshoumaru, and abruptly stopped at the mouth of the forge.

"I'll be damned," he murmured as he watched Kagome stand in the gray light of the dawn, back to them. Sesshoumaru frowned when he realized how close to the edge she was and stepped forward to drag her away from it. As he went, he said to Toutousai,

"I wouldn't be so eager to announce that if I was you, old man."

He grabbed Kagome's arm and tugged just hard enough to pull her away from the edge, then decided he might as well drag her into the cave, since she'd be easier to keep track of if he could actually see her.

"How in the world—?" Toutousai began, then stopped as Kagome, led by Sesshoumaru, came into focus. The old man's expression sobered.

"Oh no," he murmured sadly, watching as the demon lord and the young woman entered his forge.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Sesshoumaru threw his ruined armor at Toutousai, disappointed when the old man deftly caught it, but keeping that to himself. His eyes again went to the miko. She had quietly submitted to being placed against the cold wall, away from Toutousai's immediate work area. And she was still staring away into emptiness. It bothered him, that vacant look on her face. And he didn't know why it bothered him, which only bothered him even more.

"How did this happen?" Toutousai asked, frowning as he turned the piece over and around, studying the damage. It was rather extensive, and Toutousai was surprised that the young woman who had once traveled with Inu no Taisho's younger son had managed to destroy such a meticulously crafted piece of armor—especially when one considered the demon who had been wearing it when said destruction occurred.

"The miko made an attempt at purification," Sesshoumaru dryly replied, eyes returning to the girl. She looked even smaller somehow, as if Inuyasha's death had crushed her.

Toutousai glanced up, then followed the other demon's gaze and frowned worriedly. He looked back to Sesshoumaru, who wasn't bothering to hide his general irritation with the situation.

"I take it the attempt was admirable," Toutousai remarked with a sigh as he let the armor fall to the floor with a loud crash. His eyes went to Kagome. She hadn't even flinched.

"The admirability of the attempt does not concern this Sesshoumaru," the demon lord said with a snort. "New yoroi does."

"Do you expect me to just drop everything?" Toutousai asked irritably.

"Hai," Sesshoumaru snapped back. He schooled his features, then added, "The miko will also require a katana."

Toutousai stared at him in shock.

"A katana?" he asked, dumbfound. He looked at Kagome. Still not moving. His eyes returned to Sesshoumaru. "Can she even wield one?"

"I will worry about that." was the response.

Toutousai scratched his head thoughtfully, eyeing Kagome.

"You've decided, then, that this is the way?" he asked after a long silence.

Sesshoumaru didn't reply. Toutousai knew the answer anyway, and sighed. If he knew anything at all about Inu no Taisho's eldest son and heir—and he knew more than he would have liked—it was that once that clever mind had seized on something, no power in this world could remove it.

"Are you sure, Sesshoumaru, that the girl is able to carry out this task? She's looking a little worse for wear."

"She will survive."

_Typical,_ Toutousai thought to himself acidly, frowning at the other demon. He knew exactly how the heartless creature had informed Kagome of the death of her beloved companion: coldly and clinically. Time hadn't softened Sesshoumaru's feelings for his younger brother; in fact, it didn't seem to have made a dent. For five years before Inuyasha's death, they had come to terms with each other and had maintained civil contact. How and why were mysteries known only to Sesshoumaru, now that his brother had left the earthly plain. Toutousai had thought that, given time, the brothers might eventually smooth out the formidable kinks in their relationship—assuming Inuyasha lasted the hundreds of thousands of years Toutousai believed would be necessary to convince Sesshoumaru that holding a grudge was a waste of energy—and he had even thought that Sesshoumaru might actually accept his younger sibling into the House of the Moon. Alas, it was not to be: Inuyasha had died and Sesshoumaru had arranged for his remains to be tended to, but there had been a bitterness to the order that tainted the gesture. Duty was now the reason, not any kind of familial affection.

And then, of course, there was the matter of his little girl….

"Old fool, you haven't answered this Sesshoumaru and I do not appreciate being ignored."

Toutousai glanced up at the young lord, pulling his gaze away from the girl, who was huddled on the floor, gripping her bow and pack, face blank and eyes void of life. He remembered seeing that expression on another person, a long time ago. In fact, it was the only time he'd ever seen that particular mourner express anything other than annoyance or boredom.

"Hai, hai," he grumbled, hand gesturing in exasperation. "I'll repair your yoroi and craft her a katana—" He frowned at his words and cut himself off abruptly.

"What now?" Sesshoumaru demanded, voice resigned.

"That last one might prove difficult," Toutousai said at long last.

Sesshoumaru looked suddenly murderous, and the old demon scrambled onward in his explanation, wishing to head-off a nasty, and likely very bloody and painful, altercation:

"I mean, her being a miko and all, and my weaponry being youki-based…the two don't exactly mix well, as you already found out," he added, gesturing pointedly to the remains of Sesshoumaru's armor on the floor before him.

Sesshoumaru inhaled slowly.

"Does that mean you will be unable to craft her a katana?" he questioned, pronouncing each syllable with care. The swordsmith knew it was an attempt at keeping his temper intact.

"No, only that it will be more difficult."

"How much more difficult?"

Toutousai shrugged. "Not sure," he replied after scratching his chin and thinking the matter over a bit. "Might be a week's worth of work." he meekly estimated at a scalding glare from the demon lord.

"You will have three days," Sesshoumaru said.

Toutousai stared at him in shock, then puffed up with righteous indignation.

"Three days? How dare you! Do you know how much care has to be taken in crafting a katana? You're lucky I've even agreed to this—"

"And you are excruciatingly fortunate that I find you so useful or I would have ripped your still-beating heart out of your wizened body," Sesshoumaru said softly, voice unnerving in its serenity. "I do not repeat myself, old man."

Toutousai stayed quiet, and Sesshoumaru turned and strode out of the cave into the dawning morning. The old demon watched him go, then sighed and looked at Kagome. He rose and started breakfast, then picked up two cups of tea and went over to her.

"Kagome, wasn't it?" he asked with a lopsided smile as he sat down in front of her.

She raised her eyes and stared at him, then looked at the cups he held. He silently handed her one, and she accepted it, wrapping her hands around it. She didn't sip immediately, just held it, as if warming her hands or perhaps drawing some comfort from its heat.

"I do enjoy having my tea first thing in the morning," he said conversationally. "A small pleasure, much like the company of a pretty young lady." He grinned winningly, hoping to get a response.

She watched him for a moment, then dropped her eyes to the tea and took a sip.

Toutousai sighed and set his tea aside.

"Kagome, child, about Inuyasha—"

"No," she said, not meeting his startled gaze.

"No?" he repeated, bemused.

"No," she repeated, voice cracking. He didn't smell tears though. That was a good sign.

"All right," he agreed, scratching his head, "no."

She nodded, took another sip, then leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. She looked drawn and pale in the morning light that crept into the cave, sad and broken, like a misused doll.

_On second thought, no tears might_ not _be such a good sign._

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Kagome didn't speak again until midday.

Sesshoumaru had disappeared for parts unknown, though considering the waves of rage and frustration rolling off of him when he'd left, Toutousai thought that the younger demon had probably gone to take out his feelings on some poor, unsuspecting stand of trees somewhere.

As for himself, he was busy repairing said demon's armor. It was nothing especially labor-intensive, simply annoying, and he muttered to himself about puppies abusing works of art as he fused plates together.

Kagome hadn't moved. She'd eaten the food he gave her without argument, and she had been quiet and still ever since. In fact, if not for the unusual smell of a human woman wafting throughout the forge, Toutousai would have forgotten she was there.

"Toutousai-ojii-san," she called during a lull between his hammer's pounding.

Her voice startled him and he yelped and jumped around. Ordinarily, he would have been extremely annoyed with the speaker for Number One: interrupting his work (especially when his client was as exacting and potentially deadly as Sesshoumaru) and Number Two: scaring him out of his wits. But it was the first sound she'd made since saying "No" earlier, and the poor thing had obviously been having a hard time of things lately—just look who she was stuck traveling with. So he decided that being annoyed was not the proper procedure in this particular case.

"Hai?" he replied, setting the armor aside for now and walking to her side.

"Tell me how Inuyasha died."

His good cheer immediately left him.

"Sesshoumaru didn't tell you?" he asked, settling down beside her, his bones popping audibly. Both of them ignored the sounds.

"He said Inuyasha jumped down a well and broke his neck."

Toutousai sighed and scratched underneath his chin thoughtfully.

"That's how it happened all right," he admitted, not meeting her gaze. That would be too much, to watch her reaction to the story. "Inuyasha lived in Goshinboku's branches after Naraku was defeated, sort of protecting that village over there—"

"Edo," Kagome quietly supplied.

"—and basically being himself. He kept the kitsune with him for a time, and then the kitsune left. Presumably to find its own kind, if it could. Inuyasha was listless after that. I think the kitsune's company had eased his loneliness—the houshi and the taijiya had left too, to live their lives. In any case, he had an odd sort of fascination with the well outside of the village."

"The Bone-Eater's Well." Kagome said.

"I never caught the name. He'd hang around it when he wasn't patrolling the area for marauding youkai. He'd jumped down the well before, Sesshoumaru said, as if expecting something to happen. I couldn't possibly guess at what, though. Anyway, there was a time, five years before Inuyasha died, that he and his brother began to treat each other civil. I think they were finally realizing that it was just the two of them left. Inuyasha's death changed all that, though. One day that boy jumped down the well, like he had maybe a hundred times before, only something happened on the way down and he hit the bottom at a bad angle and snapped his neck. The village miko, an elderly woman, found him in the well. She went looking for him when he didn't show up to take asagohan with her. She notified Sesshoumaru.

"He came, listened to the story and told the miko to bury him by Goshinboku, that he'd provide the marker. Then he left, and I never heard him speak of his half-brother again until today, when he said it was you who ruined my handiwork."

Silence reigned, and then Kagome asked,

"He never became human?"

Toutousai shook his head. "Nope. Stayed a hanyou, of course."

Kagome nodded, then stood and brushed absently at her hakama.

"Arigatou, Toutousai-ojii-san," she murmured, and then she left the forge.

Toutousai stared after her, surprised by the reaction. He hadn't felt any discernable change in her demeanor, and he'd been expecting weeping of the most distressing sort. It was an odd and unsettling reaction—he would have preferred the tears.

Kagome walked down the mountain a ways, picking her way idly. She was to blame—it was as simple and awful as that.

The well. He'd been jumping down the well, trying to get to her, just as she had been trying to get to him, and it had killed him in the end. It was her fault he was dead—her fucking fault. And there wasn't any way she could fix that, or make it any easier to accept. She had killed him, same as if she'd pushed him.

She sat down on a rock and looked around, but didn't see anything. There was nothing redeeming about the world around you when you were a murderer. Or in her case, murderess.

She wasn't consciously waiting for Sesshoumaru's return. It just happened that when he leapt up, he landed on the ledge where she was sitting.

"Go away," he told her.

"I was here first—you go away." she replied, eyes closed. That was why she missed the expression of seething outrage on his face.

"Miko—"

"Go to hell."

There was a long pause, and then Sesshoumaru said, voice dangerously calm,

"I beg your pardon?"

"I said go to hell."

"Any particular reason?"

"Not at the moment, no. I'll let you know when I come up with one."

Neither said anything to the other for a long time, and Kagome opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes were searching the horizon, a habit she had noticed. He was looking for something, or someone. Were they being followed?

_So what if we are,_ that little voice in her head said, _does that change anything?_

"Sesshoumaru," she said quietly, and he looked down at her, expression dark. For once, she didn't care. "Why am I here?"

He stared at her for a long while in silence, his face not telling her anything. Then, he quietly said,

"I believe I mentioned having you purify youkai."

"All the more reason for me to know what the hell is going on, don't you think?" she asked, never raising her voice.

He went back to watching the horizon, and Kagome sighed wearily and rose. She wasn't in the mood for his head games.

"Look Asshole," she began, flexing her fingers, "I may not have complete control of my ki, but if you piss me off enough, I'm sure I could do some damage, so start talking."

He slowly turned his head to stare at her, a rather hostile brand of amusement on his face.

"Are you threatening me, human?" he asked.

She raised an eyebrow. "Do I stutter?" she returned. "Start talking."

He moved before she finished speaking, grabbing her by the neck and slamming her against the mountain side. His eyes bored into hers, furious with her for her brazenness. She was momentarily breathless, and the fact that he was squeezing her neck didn't help either. Her ki began to gather, and Kagome decided that it was time to show the demon lord that he wasn't the only one with big guns.

She reached up and grabbed the wrist of the hand that held her, and her hand became illuminated with bright light. He abruptly dropped her with a hiss and clutched his wrist, which was smoking. Kagome fell to the ledge, coughing and holding her neck. The wound he'd inflicted was still healing and tender, and Kagome felt a flash of annoyance that he would abuse her again so soon after that little ordeal. She got to her feet. He was watching her, pure hatred alive in his expression.

"As I was saying," she rasped, then coughed. "We can stay here and take turns trying to kill each other, or you can tell me why I'm here. I don't much care, one way or the other. Ball's in your court."

He glared at her for several moments, then let out a threatening growl and let go of his wrist. It was a very ugly red color, and it was in the shape of her hand. It was also still smoking. That would take a while to heal, she noted. The last time she'd burned him, the attack hadn't been intentional or quite so concentrated, so there was more extensive damage now.

"For the past eight years I've been dealing with some kind of youkai," he said sullenly. The bitterness in his voice wasn't completely due to being coerced into speaking, Kagome knew. "I have not yet had the satisfaction of facing this enemy—it's a cowardly bastard, sending its odious minions to do its dirty work."

"You've never seen it?" she asked.

He sent her a baleful look. "Do I stutter?" he snapped. Kagome, in turn, raised her eyebrow in uncanny imitation of him.

"Not the last time I checked," she replied dryly. The look he gave her was positively violent, and she wisely decided not to goad him anymore.

"So what's the problem, then? You're a rather powerful youkai—I've heard that some've called you the kanzen youkai. Shouldn't you be able to take care of this thing without the help of someone you so obviously despise?" she asked.

"I should, but I can't seem to," he replied irritably. "There is something about this particular youkai that makes even this Sesshoumaru ineffective. To my knowledge, however, no miko is ineffective against youkai. That is where you come in."

"Great," she sighed. "That's why you wanted to know if I owned a katana, wasn't it?"

"Even you will admit that arrows are inadequate once a battle reaches a certain point. Your dealings with Naraku should have taught you that, if nothing else."

She rubbed her temple. What a good thing she had decided to be so composed about this whole affair, or else she'd have been taking a major shit right about now. What a good thing she was finally _capable_ of being composed—and wasn't it absolutely hideous that it had taken Inuyasha's death and her complicity in it for her to finally achieve that state.

"So how long have you been looking for me?"

"It took me three days to get to the human village."

She glanced at him, surprised. "Three days? You're that close to Edo?"

"No—I traveled that quickly. This youkai…there are lulls between its attacks. This has been the longest stretch between battles, so it can start again at any moment. I prefer not to take anymore time than is necessary to get back to the Western Lands."

"How long has it been?"

"Two years."

"Shit."

"My sentiments exactly."

Kagome and Sesshoumaru fell silent, both watching the horizon, each lost in his or her own thoughts. Had either been capable of reading minds, they would have been surprised at how closely their thoughts ran: Sesshoumaru was wondering if he'd made a mistake in recruiting the untrained miko; Kagome was wondering if she had enough ability to defeat the mysterious demon.

Kagome was the first one to break the silence. She glanced over at the demon's wrist. The burn hadn't even begun to heal. She doubted it would for several hours.

"Here," she said, "let me take a look."

"I'm capable of healing myself without the assistance of a human."

She sighed. "Duh—I just want to see the damage I've done."

She reached over and took hold of his hand. He jerked away and she frowned.

"Damn it Sesshoumaru," she said, reaching over again.

"Miko, don't make me fling you over this ledge." he said with weary patience, stepping away from her.

"Would it make you sorry?" she asked nastily

"It would ruin my plans and cause me more annoyance," he replied condescendingly.

"How terrible for you," she snapped, lunging for him.

He easily sidestepped her, but she caught herself and made another dive for him that he almost didn't dodge, since he'd been expecting her to land flat on her face.

It was the weirdest game of tag Kagome had ever played, and if her mind hadn't been so focused on seeing what she'd done, the thought might have made her laugh for the first time in over a week.

She finally became so annoyed with him that she, after getting in a rather timely lunge, punched him in the shoulder, and he whipped around and sent her one of his patented "And-now-you-will-die!" looks. He went to grab her, but she charged right into him and tackled him to the ground—the look of shock on his face was a scream—sat on his stomach and grabbed his wrist. The second her fingers made contact with the burn, however, she was hit with a vision of a little girl who was no longer a little girl, but a grown woman with two children…they were laying in a room, dying, rotting from the inside out, and she could smell the death in the air and she could hear them whimpering.

He was staring at her face, and if he'd been in his true form, the hair on his back would have stood on end. She'd gone white, eyes wide and horror-struck, as if she was watching something truly hideous play out right before her eyes. And then suddenly she let go of his wrist as if it had burned her, both hands going to her ears and eyes screwed shut.

"Stop!" she screamed. "Stop stop stop!"

She fell off of him and curled up into a ball on the ledge, still screaming for something or someone to stop whatever it was that was happening to her. Sesshoumaru leapt to his feet, and whirled around, unsheathing Toukijin, eyes narrowed and darting around. He knew he was being watched, and he knew his enemy was capable of manipulating the minds of others—was that what was happening to the miko?

The screaming abruptly stopped, and he looked at her and found her still curled up, crying brokenly and hiccupping. He slowly sheathed Toukijin and stared at her.

_What,_ his mind screamed, _had just happened!_

"Miko," he said quietly.

She looked up at him and sniffled. The raw pain there startled him, and something else …was that…_pity_? He stiffened at the idea.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked sharply.

"I'm sorry," she managed to get out.

"Stop that despicable weeping," he ordered, walking to her and hauling her to her feet. "You embarrass yourself with your disgusting lack of restraint."

She nodded meekly, wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her haori and sniffling loudly.

"Get back up to that stupid old bastard's forge," he snapped, "you've displeased me enough for one day."

She left him there, still trying to get ahold of herself as she picked her way back up the mountain. He turned his back on her and glared out at the land around him, listening to her noisy retreat. It wasn't until he folded his arms that he noticed that his wrist had healed.


	7. It's A Small World After All

A/N: Another week, another chapter…though this chapter is slightly late. (_laughs nervously_) Sorry about that, life is getting hectic over here. I'm thinking that I may have to revise my posting schedule to every other Sunday, especially since the next chapter is going to be even longer than this one, and I have a feeling this is a trend that will continue; I have a lot of ground to cover. So yeah, probably next Sunday instead of this one coming up. Sorry. Anyway, I'm probably boring you (that's assuming you read this, of course, which could be a little presumptuous of me, but I'll risk it), so I'll shut up now. Enjoy chapter seven.

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Disclaimer: I wish….

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Words To Know: 

taiyoukai: taken literally, "great demon"; basically, Fluffy-sama is one BAD mofo

neko: cat

kenjutsu: art of Japanese swordsmanship

shinai: bamboo practice sword

obaa-san: grandmother

ojisan: uncle

shakujou: Miroku's staff

okaa-san: mother

otou-san: father

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**Chapter Seven: It's A Small World After All**

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

_I'm looking for a place,_

_I'm searching for a face, _

_Is anybody here, I know?_

"I'm With You"/ Avril Lavigne

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

She retreated into silence again.

Toutousai sighed wearily as he handed Kagome a bowl of rice and meat. She had stumbled back into the cave, shaking violently, tears still falling. The violence of her emotions had alarmed him. And when he caught Sesshoumaru's scent on her, he put two and two together and came up with a likely answer: the bastard had been the cause of her distress, had probably said something about Inuyasha that had upset her.

In a fit of pique, Toutousai had smashed Sesshoumaru's armor with his hammer, ruining his hard work and what had been salvaged from Kagome's attack—the asshole could damn well wait an extra day for his breastplate to be repaired. Hell, he might even make the spoiled mutt wait two.

In time, the tears stopped, and eventually the shaking did too. She was still pale and off-balance, though, and the wild mass of emotions swirling around her was making him dizzy. He tried talking her into a more stable frame of mind, but she wasn't having any of that, and he finally gave up and went to work on some other piece, hoping Sesshoumaru wouldn't come in and catch him; he was mad at the younger demon, true, but Sesshoumaru was hell on wheels when he was moody, and the man practically had a storm cloud brewing over his head, complete with thunder and lightning.

Kagome ate her meal silently, occasionally sending him strange looks he couldn't decipher.

"Something wrong?" he asked finally.

"Later," she said, shaking her head.

"Huh!" Toutousai grunted. "That sounds ominous."

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Toutousai found himself walking out of his forge in the dead of night, looking around nervously. The demon lord had returned just after Kagome had finished her meal, and hadn't spared her so much as a glance. She, on the other hand, seemed extremely interested in him, and watched him thoughtfully.

An hour after the taiyoukai had returned, Kagome stood up and murmured something to Toutousai about taking a walk for a bit. He had protested until she'd shot him a warning look. Ah. So she wanted him to contrive a way to get out of the forge without drawing Sesshoumaru's suspicion so that she could discuss something. And since she didn't appear to want to include Sesshoumaru in the discussion, he could only conclude that it concerned said demon.

Toutousai waited an hour, pretending to work on Kagome's sword. He had figured out earlier how he was going to go about crafting the weapon, but it was going to take considerable concentration on the girl's part. And considerable care on his. It was going to be tricky and rather painstaking, but Toutousai smelled another legendary piece of craftsmanship, so he didn't mind. Much.

"That girl's been gone too long," he said at long last, setting aside his tools and picking up his hammer. "I'm going to see what's become of her."

Sesshoumaru didn't reply. He was sitting against the far wall, one arm draped over his knee, head back and eyes closed. Toutousai knew the other demon wasn't sleeping or even remotely unconscious. He had just drawn into himself again.

The old swordsmith stood, swung the hammer up over his shoulder and casually walked out of the forge, checking once to make sure Sesshoumaru wasn't watching him.

He followed his nose upon leaving the cave, and found Kagome on the same ledge she'd been on earlier with Sesshoumaru; Toutousai smelled lingering traces of the both of them. She was sitting on a rock, waiting for him, watching the night sky. Or, more specifically, the moon.

He cleared his throat, and Kagome looked over at him, then waved for him to join her. Toutousai did just that, seating himself on another rock not too far from hers.

"Well?" he asked. "Why the cloak and dagger?"

"What happened to Rin-chan, Ojii-san," Kagome quietly said, not looking at him.

There was a long, startled pause, and then Toutousai coughed softly.

"I certainly wasn't expecting _that_, though it explains the secrecy." he said slowly. He paused again. "She died, around when Inuyasha did. I'd guess…their deaths were about a week apart. First her, then him, that was it." he said with an authoritative jerk of his head.

"How did she die?"

"That I never heard. He never spoke of it. He only mentioned that the little one had died."

There was no need to clarify who "he" was.

"Where was he?"

"Who knows but him and the gods? Her husband was gone too, at the time."

"Husband?"

Toutousai nodded. "Five years before she died, she was married. Actually, that was when the brothers began speaking again—Inuyasha knew the groom, I believe, and he attended the ceremony with the man's family."

"Who was the man?"

Toutousai shrugged. "A human man of little consequence. They lived not too far from here, close to his relatives. He was called to defend his daimyo, and she and her two young children died while he was away. It might have been illness—there was something going around, killing off the humans in every village in Japan."

"Two children?" Kagome asked, throat dry.

"Hai, two little boys." Toutousai paused. "He wasn't particularly impressed by them, but he indulged her and let her think he was."

They were quiet again for a long time. Kagome bowed her head, as if in deep thought or prayer; Toutousai remembered the day Sesshoumaru had come to see him, his youki strangely perturbed.

_Toutousai looked up when a shadow fell over him, and saw Sesshoumaru standing at the mouth of the cave. He rose and gave a curt bow, wondering what the spoiled mutt wanted now. It took him a second to realize that something was wrong with the other demon's youki._

_"Sesshoumaru?" he queried._

_Sesshoumaru flinched, blinked, looking at Toutousai as if seeing him for the first time. His eyes were strange: hollow, empty. Not the usual bland expression. The face was still expressionless, but the eyes told a story all their own._

_Wordlessly, Sesshoumaru stepped forward and dropped a bundle at Toutousai's feet, then turned and began walking away. Toutousai watched him, then leaned over and lifted some of the material back. It was the armor he had crafted for Rin, at Sesshoumaru's request, as the girl's wedding present. It smelled like smoke and was dirty with soot._

_"Sesshoumaru," he called, and Sesshoumaru stopped but didn't turn around. "What is the meaning of this? Has the little one become displeased with her yoroi after all this time?"_

_"The little one will not be needing her yoroi anymore." Sesshoumaru replied, voice still as dispassionate as ever._

_He stood still for a moment longer, and as the meaning of the statement sunk in, he began walking again, leaving Toutousai standing in his forge, stunned, holding the armor._

"Kagome?" Toutousai asked quietly. "What prompted these questions?"

"Nothing," she lied. "I was just wondering, and since Sesshoumaru's been acting so weird, I thought asking you would be better than asking him, and possibly being disemboweled."

Toutousai didn't comment, and they lapsed into silence again. Finally, the old swordsmith straightened.

"You should come in, get some sleep," he said, resting his hammer against his shoulder again.

"In a bit. Arigatou, Ojii-san."

"You're welcome, child."

Toutousai went back up to the forge, walked past Sesshoumaru—who didn't seem to have moved—and retired to his bed for the evening.

Sesshoumaru opened one amber eye, and watched Toutousai's progress. When he was sure the old man was safely closeted, he rose to his feet and walked to the mouth of the cave.

He knew they had left the forge to talk about him. The miko hadn't been quite as obvious as the old bastard, but it hadn't taken a genius to figure out what was going on—shit, a _hanyou_ could have figured it out.

He folded his arms and waited for the miko's return. He could smell her more clearly now that he wasn't so close to the disgusting smells of the forge. She didn't seem to be crying, but there was a sort of depression settling over her aura, bringing down her normally bright, cheerful scent. Well, bringing it farther down than it already was.

_She smells like sunlight,_ he thought idly, then froze. That had been a disturbing and completely arbitrary thought. But it was the disquieting quality of the thought and not its randomness that threw him. He knew of another human who had smelled of sunlight….

Fuck. That was hitting just a little too close to his banished memories for his comfort. So he ignored that train of thought and began a new one: the telling off he was going to give the miko when she finally got the hell back up there.

She appeared when he was mid-way through what he thought was a very respectable harangue—these things, after all, required considerable thought if one's message was going to get across as succinctly as possible. Coherence was another factor. The wrong word would ensure that he would have to repeat himself sometime in the near future, and she had already made him break one of his personal rules: Sesshoumaru never repeated himself. Ever. Period. The baka wench didn't seem to understand the concept behind a negative answer, however, which complicated his life and made repetition necessary. What a waste.

She saw him and paused, then slowed her gait considerably. She stopped several feet off from the entrance, watching him warily. That cheered him considerably—the stupid bitch had finally figured out just who she was dealing with.

"I don't suppose you're waiting up for me?" she asked.

"Hardly," he sneered, offended at the idea.

"Yeah, I thought that was a little far-fetched."

"This Sesshoumaru dislikes being whispered about behind his back, Miko," he said, and had the pleasure of seeing her stiffen. "Especially when you decide to consult that stupid old bastard. See that it doesn't happen again. Or I will not hesitate to find another miko."

There. To the point and brief. There was no way she was dumb enough not to understand him—

"You're such a fucking jerk!" she exploded, stamping her foot.

He stared at her. This was _not_ the reaction he had been aiming for. No, he had been expecting meek acceptance, at the very least.

"All you ever do is insult poor Ojii-san, and he fixes your yoroi anyway!"

_Toutousai_? She was upset over his treatment of _Toutousai_? He rolled his eyes in disgust.

"And he is a bigger fool for fixing the yoroi after I insult him." he replied.

"I should purify you!" she yelled back.

Sesshoumaru sent her a cynical smile and cracked his knuckles ominously.

"I should delight in watching you try, Miko: remember, I only promised not to throw you into any more trees—there was nothing said about pitching you off mountainsides."

She glared at him. "I hate you," she said lowly.

His smile widened. "No more than I _despise_ you," he returned. "Don't think that I won't kill you just because I have need of your power. Even that won't save you, Miko. You would be wise not to forget that."

"Heartless bastard!"

"Worthless bitch!"

She flinched as if slapped, and he turned and went back into the cave, satisfied that she had been soundly, if childishly, put in her place. His only warning was the sound of her footsteps.

Kagome hurled herself at Sesshoumaru, latched onto his back, grabbed him by the hair and tried to rip it out. She was so furious with him that she didn't care anymore about the very real possibility that he could, and probably would, kill her.

He reached around and grabbed her arm and threw her against the wall. Or tried to. But Kagome was clutching to him tightly, one arm wrapped around his neck while attempting to punch him in the head with the other hand. He only succeeded in almost dislocating her shoulder. So he hurled himself into the wall, back first, in an attempt to get her off of him.

He knocked the wind out of her, and maybe cracked a few of her ribs, but that wasn't nearly enough to get her to let go. She dug her nails into the side of his face and ripped down, mimicking what she'd seen Inuyasha do thousands of times. That just pissed Sesshoumaru off worse: he grabbed hold of her hair and yanked hard enough to rip her head off. She retaliated with another furious cuff to the head.

"Bitch, if you don't let go I'll make you sorry you were ever reincarnated!" he bellowed, reaching around and grabbing her thigh to try and yank her off that way.

"Fuck…you!" she bellowed back in reply, kicking him in the hip with enough force to hurt her foot.

That was how Toutousai found them when he ran out of his room. Only now, Sesshoumaru was ramming himself into the walls almost continuously, getting closer and closer to Toutousai's tools and display weapons. Kagome hadn't noticed where the taiyoukai was heading: she was completely concentrated on trying to rip his eyes out of their sockets.

"Gods above I must have been truly wretched in another life!" Toutousai moaned. Then he did the only thing he could think of to stop them from killing each other and destroying his forge in the process: he belched flames at Sesshoumaru and Kagome.

Sesshoumaru saw the flames coming at him at the last second, and was nearly burned to a crisp. Instead, he forgot about defending his eyes and dove onto the floor, out of harm's way. The miko yelped in his ear and held onto his shoulders, pressing against his back to keep from being burned. He thought about lifting himself up just enough so that she did get burned, but the flames were gone by the time the idea hit him. So he settled for glaring at Toutousai instead.

"You baka!" he said. "What were you thinking?"

"That you two were about to ruin me!" Toutousai roared. "Hells below you were heading right for my very livelihood! What did you expect me to do—let you destroy my forge!"

Kagome took the opportunity to whack Sesshoumaru upside the head, and he growled, reached over his shoulder and grabbed her by the neck.

"Sesshoumaru!" Toutousai said, tone holding warning. "I'll do it again if you hurt her, and you're in no position to flee."

"Then I could use her as a shield, couldn't I?" Sesshoumaru shot back, voice hard.

Kagome glared at him and took in a deep breath to spit on him, but Toutousai stomped forward and jerked her up to her feet and away from Sesshoumaru.

"That's enough of that!" he scolded. "Worse than children, both of you—especially you, for fighting with a woman!"

Sesshoumaru rose to his feet, glaring at Kagome with livid hate.

"She shouldn't have started something she couldn't possibly hope to win," he snarled.

"Go to hell! I could've purified your ass so quick you wouldn't have known what hit you!"

"I said ENOUGH!" Toutousai bellowed, silencing them both; in fact, they both stared at him, vaguely surprised, before exchanging glares full of murderous intent. He moaned, rubbing his forehead with his free hand—what had he _done_ to deserve these two!

"Kagome, you'll sleep in my chamber tonight," Toutousai said wearily.

She turned back to him, forgetting Sesshoumaru for the time being.

"Oh but Ojii-san, I couldn't kick you out of your own room," she protested.

Toutousai sent her a fond smile despite his irritation, but before he could say anything, Sesshoumaru snorted. Kagome's attention instantly returned to the demon lord, and Toutousai indulged in the unlikely-to-come-true daydream of murdering Inu no Taisho's eldest son with his bare hands.

"What?" she snapped, eyes narrowed.

"You—you're little more than a parasite," was the cold response.

Kagome stiffened, but her expression didn't change.

"And being a mangy dog is a better position?" she asked coolly.

The demon lord's glare deepened, making him look far more sinister than he usually did. Especially since Kagome's nails, well-kept and on the longish side, had cut his cheek deeply, and the gashes were bleeding profusely.

"I find, Miko, that the more contact I endure with you, the more I dislike you. If I wasn't so sure you were nothing but a worthless human, I'd swear you were neko youkai," he said, voice icy, as he touched a finger to the gashes on his face and drew it away, wet with blood.

"It'd certainly make sense, anyway," Toutousai muttered under his breath, tugging Kagome along in his wake. "Here, child, this way."

As she passed Sesshoumaru, Kagome sent him a frigid look and hissed at him, sounding decidedly cat-like. Sesshoumaru, in turn, returned her look and gave a low, feral growl that sounded decidedly dog-like. He didn't turn around to watch as Toutousai upped his pace and scrambled into the labyrinth of rooms in the back of the cave, he could hear the hasty retreat just fine. He cocked his head, and when he was sure the old man and the girl were gone, he reached up again and gently touched the miko's handiwork on his face. His cheek was beginning to heal, but his fingertips still came away bloody. He sniffed the blood, then rubbed his thumb against the wet pads of his fingers. And despite his anger and the bloodlust singing through his veins, he smiled just a little.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

The sound of metal ricocheting off metal shattered the peace of early morning.

Kagome jumped up off of Toutousai's futon with a yell of surprise, then hit the hard stone floor with an entirely different yell—sounding remarkably like "Son of a bitch!"—coming from her mouth. She managed to stumble into the forge, bleary-eyed but mad as hell over being so rudely awakened.

Toutousai was hammering away at Sesshoumaru's armor.

"What in the seven hells are you doing!" Kagome roared.

Toutousai jumped and looked at the very angry young woman glaring at him. She might have been a little more intimidating if her hair hadn't been sticking up. He smiled.

"Ah, you're awake!" he said cheerfully.

"Of course I'm awake! You're loud enough to wake the dead!" she bellowed.

"You're louder than he is," came an annoyed voice, and Kagome's eyes found Sesshoumaru standing in the mouth of the cave, the light from the dawning sun coming in behind him—wait a minute…_dawning_ sun?

She looked back to Toutousai, her eyebrow twitching. She cracked her knuckles and took a threatening step toward the old swordsmith.

"It isn't even _dawn_ yet?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Toutousai cleared his throat nervously, eyes flickering towards Sesshoumaru in an obvious plea for help.

"He's not going to help you," Kagome snapped, voice hard. Her hands started glowing. "And I'm going to _kill_ you…."

Sesshoumaru was amused by the miko's reaction to Toutousai's hammering, though he wondered why she was so upset—this wasn't the first time she'd been awakened before dawn, after all, he had done it several times during the course of their traveling. Still, it wouldn't do to let her purify the swordsmith before the worthless old shit was done with his yoroi.

"Miko—" he began, sounding bored.

"Oh shut up—you're next!" Kagome yelled.

He frowned. "I doubt it," he returned. Just to piss her off.

It worked: she forgot all about Toutousai and focused all of her fury on him. He noticed, with some dread, that the glow emanating from her hands had intensified. Perhaps letting her take out her frustration on Toutousai had been a good idea…but there was little chance he was going to convince her to do it now. He sighed and walked into the cave, toward the miko.

"Not another step," Toutousai said, scrambling to stand in front of Kagome, blocking Sesshoumaru's way. "You two are dangerous when you get physically violent, and I'm not in the mood to clean up after you."

Kagome poked Toutousai in the back and the old demon howled and jumped three feet into the air. Sesshoumaru's mouth quirked, barely keeping a thoroughly malicious smile from appearing. The miko had no such reservations: she was smirking, obviously gloating.

Toutousai moaned, gingerly touching a hand to his singed back, and sent Kagome a mournful glare. She glared right back at him, hands on her hips.

"You're lucky I just zapped you," she said haughtily, then flounced past him and lowered herself to the floor, near the makeshift table Toutousai usually ate at. He had set out a pot of tea and cups, and Kagome poured one for both herself and Sesshoumaru out of habit. She found herself handing his up to him before she remembered that she was pissed off at him for last night. He took it and sat down on the other side of the table, not looking at her.

Toutousai went to the cook fire, muttering under his breath.

Sesshoumaru caught a whiff of the miko and frowned. She smelled like Toutousai. His nostrils flared in distaste, and then he felt a sliver of surprise creep through him at his reaction to her change of scent; why should he care how she smelled anyway? Because she traveled with him, he decided after a moment, and there was no way in hell he was going to subject himself to the smell of Toutousai every day.

"You smell like the worthless old shit," Sesshoumaru told her, sipping his tea. He didn't look at her. He probably should have: a hunk of scorched wood from Toutousai's fire came flying at his head. He turned his head slowly, eyes wide in angry disbelief, and found her glaring at him.

"And now, you smell like his forge," she returned, eyes daring him to come over the table after her.

He growled low in his throat and was about to toss his tea aside and do just that when Toutousai appeared and slammed a bowl down in front of the miko.

"Stop that!" he ordered. "Eat first. If you want to kill each other, do it after asagohan, and preferably outside!"

"Shut up!" they both snapped, and he meekly backed away from the table and slinked back to his fire; he'd eat later, when they were done.

They spent the meal glaring daggers at each other. Toutousai refrained from using his hammer. Instead, he went hunting through his storage rooms for the materials he'd need for Kagome's sword.

When he emerged with a dusty bundle, both of his cranky houseguests suddenly stiffened and turned their heads to watch him. He grinned. So they felt the ki, did they?

Kagome rose and walked over to him as he sat before his work table and laid the bundle on it. Sesshoumaru followed, more wary than Kagome.

Toutousai leaned down and blew the dust off the bundle with a mighty breath, and Kagome and Sesshoumaru's arms flew up to cover their noses. Sesshoumaru made it; Kagome was less successful, and she sneezed several times before finally sniffling and wiping her eyes…and glaring at him. The old demon smiled sheepishly.

"What's that?" Kagome asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Toutousai grinned. "Your katana," he announced.

She looked surprised. "My katana? You've finished it already?" she asked, leaning forward.

"I wouldn't," Sesshoumaru said quietly from behind her.

She looked over her shoulder at him, more curious by the warning than annoyed. Toutousai used his teeth to cut the string that bound the bundle closed, then lifted the fabric back and revealed…a cracked, raggedy handle with two inches of jagged blade sticking out of it. Kagome stared at it for several seconds in silence, than said,

"It's a handle."

"The handle of your katana," Toutousai corrected.

"Where's the rest of it?" she asked, finally looking at the swordsmith.

"The rest of what?" he asked puzzled.

"The katana, Ojii-san," Kagome said, obviously exasperated, "where's the rest of the katana."

"That's it."

She looked at it again, then looked around at Sesshoumaru, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"I thought you trusted him to make fine weaponry," she said.

"I do," Sesshoumaru replied, "but I never made any guarantees that his methods made any sense."

"Touché," she muttered, turning back to Toutousai, who was grinning as if he'd just discovered the meaning of life.

"Ojii-san, doesn't a katana require a blade longer than, oh, I don't know, a finger?" Kagome asked.

"Well of course!" Toutousai returned in exasperation. "It wouldn't be a katana otherwise."

"Oh, just checking," Kagome replied.

"I'll have to repair the thing, obviously," Toutousai said. He eyed Kagome, who, upon seeing his speculative gaze, took a step back and bumped into Sesshoumaru.

"Why're you staring at me like that?" she asked, edging around the demon lord's side so that she could place him between her and the swordsmith.

"Well, I'll need you when I finally forge the blade," Toutousai said.

"Why?" she demanded, now fully hiding behind Sesshoumaru, who was staring over his shoulder at her with the most bizarre look on his face.

"Well, this being your katana, it will require something of yours to bind you to it—"

"You can't have my teeth," Kagome said from behind Sesshoumaru, who had decided that he wanted no part in the conversation and had folded his arms into his kimono sleeves. At the young woman's announcement, however, he frowned and looked over his shoulder at her.

"What?" he asked.

She looked up at him as if it was perfectly normal to carry on a conversation with someone while hiding behind someone else.

"When Goshinki broke the Tessaiga, Ojii-san yanked out one of Inuyasha's fangs to fix the blade," she told him, one little hand hanging onto his obi.

Sesshoumaru smirked, pleased with the idea that Inuyasha had been in pain at some point. Kagome, knowing what the smirk meant, glared at him and reached out and gave his hair a sharp yank. He growled; she hissed. Toutousai sighed.

_Great,_ he thought, rubbing his temple, _just great. How is it possible to be _that_ ill-tempered this early in the day?_

"You needn't worry about your teeth, child, I don't have any use for them. I'll need your blood."

"My WHAT!" Kagome asked, forgetting her plan to use Sesshoumaru as a shield. She stuck her head out from behind the demon lord and stared at the swordsmith in something like shocked horror.

"Why would you need the miko's blood?" Sesshoumaru asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, what he said," Kagome said with a jerk of her head.

"Oh, I won't need much! Just enough," Toutousai said with a flick of his wrist.

"Define 'enough'," Kagome shot back.

"Don't worry, I'm a professional." Toutousai assured her.

"A professional nut-job," Kagome muttered under her breath.

Sesshoumaru frowned; what was a nut-job? The girl had a penchant for saying the oddest things.

"So, where'd you get the katana from?" she asked, taking a tentative step out from behind Sesshoumaru; she was still hanging onto him, Toutousai observed with some amusement. Sesshoumaru didn't seem to notice. Toutousai wondered what would happen when he did, and the better part of his amusement dissapated.

"Er, I acquired it a few hundred years back," he said.

"'A few hundred years back'?" Kagome asked, watching the sword. "It's still awfully powerful."

"Oh, so you felt the ki?" Toutousai asked with a grin.

"It would have been difficult to miss," Sesshoumaru commented, and Kagome nodded absently.

"Ojii-san? How did it break?"

"Oh, let me see if I remember the story," Toutousai said, scratching his head. "If I recall, it belonged to a miko. She forged it herself, or so the story goes, and used it to battle youkai of a most fearsome sort. Anyway, she was battling a thunder youkai and the katana shattered into thousands of pieces and she was slaughtered quite brutally."

There was a long pause, and then Kagome sighed and closed her eyes.

"I'm so screwed," she said to no one in particular.

"Here now," Toutousai said, responding more to the look on her face than her strange, nonsensical statement—after all, what was this "screwed" she spoke of and what did it mean?—"I'm a professional! The woman obviously had no concept of what she was doing when she forged the blade, or it wouldn't have failed her so miserably!"

"And you want to use the shitty original as the basis for a katana I'm supposed to protect myself with?" Kagome asked.

"It's a perfectly good handle," Toutousai argued, "the fault was in the blade itself, and with my skill and your blood, you should be able to protect yourself quite effectively with it."

"Once she learns proper kenjutsu," Sesshoumaru qualified.

Kagome looked up at him. He looked down at her. They stared at each other in silence for a moment, and then she said,

"You aren't going to teach me…are you?"

He raised an eyebrow and Kagome sighed and seemed to go limp. "I'd rather have a tooth pulled."

"That can be arranged," Sesshoumaru dryly informed her, and she resisted the urge to kick him, knowing that she'd probably just hurt herself and start another fist fight.

"I haven't got any shinai," Toutousai said, suddenly pouncing on an idea. He silently patted himself on the back for his genius, then wondered why he hadn't thought of this before. Oh right: he'd been trying to keep his forge from being demolished. "However, there is a taijiya village not too far from here. They might have a few you could borrow."

Sesshoumaru sent him a killing look, and Toutousai remembered too late about—

"Taijiya?" Kagome asked. "I can't believe you live so close to them."

"Well, they're…er…friendly." Toutousai said, watching Sesshoumaru's glare drop a few more degrees. He was now berating himself for his stupidity.

"Oh yeah?" Kagome returned, surprised. "The only taijiya I ever knew who was friendly to youkai was San—" Kagome went white, then latched wide, desperate eyes on Toutousai. "Sango-chan," she whispered. "Sango. It has to be her. Is it, Toutousai-ojii-san? Is it Sango?"

"Well, er, that is—"

"And Miroku-sama!" Kagome shouted, slapping her forehead. "I'm such a frickin' moron! How could I have forgotten—and even after you mentioned them! Damn it!"

She let go of Sesshoumaru and strode toward the entrance of the cave.

"Stop," Sesshoumaru said. Miraculously, she listened, though she was scowling when she turned to face him, hands on her hips.

"What?" she asked, obviously irritated.

"Where do you think you're going?" the demon asked.

She gaped at him. "Were you listening to the conversation at all?" she asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "That was a conversation?" he threw back. She glared.

"I'm going to find Sango-chan and Miroku-sama, Sesshoumaru. You can come along if you like," she added as she turned and walked out of the cave.

Sesshoumaru snorted, then turned back to Toutousai and pinned the old man with a glare that foretold of immense pain.

"You," Sesshoumaru said, "are going to regret that you were ever brought forth into this world, Toutousai."

"Eh, Sesshoumaru? You might want to go after the miko," Toutousai said, sweating. "She didn't take her bow and quiver with her, and while the taijiya are very good at what they do, they miss a youkai or two every now and again."

Sesshoumaru glared at him, then turned and walked to where his pelt lay. He grabbed it, threw it over his shoulder just so, then sent Toutousai one last deadly look.

"I will finish this when I return," he promised, then turned and walked out of the cave after the miko.

Toutousai haphazardly covered the miko's broken blade and shoved it aside, grabbing his hammer and Sesshoumaru's armor; perhaps Sesshoumaru wouldn't kill him if he finished the demon lord's armor with exceptional quickness….

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Sometimes, her own stupidity surprised even her.

Kagome looked around the village again miserably. Nothing. She'd not only wasted her time believing Toutousai—and wouldn't a certain demon lord be particularly insufferable when she came back empty-handed?—she had wasted Sesshoumaru's time as well. She was not looking forward to the demon's ire once he got over his smug, "I-am-always-right-you-stupid-woman" gloat of superiority.

"Damn you to hell, Toutousai," she muttered, turning and leaving the village.

Not one person she'd talked to had been able to tell her a blasted thing about Miroku and Sango. Several people had stared at her blankly upon hearing the names. That had worried her. Especially when it occurred to her that, while she was thinking of them as a couple, they might not have actually married once she was hurled back into her own time. Toutousai had never said that they had married—he'd only said that they had left Inuyasha. It would be safe to assume that they left together, but still….

Kagome grumbled to herself under her breath as she made her way back to the spot at the base of the mountain where Sesshoumaru had told her he was staying.

"Pompous ass, making me drag my happy ass through the forest on my own," she muttered, switching her annoyance from Toutousai to Sesshoumaru. He was a far worthier target: Toutousai was several thousands of years old. He was entitled to be annoying by virtue of his advanced age. The Immovable Object, on the other hand, had no such excuse. Kagome wondered why the demon's mother hadn't drowned him at birth, since she was convinced that he'd been born aggravating.

"Because he's got the type of personality only a mother could love," she growled, answering her own question. "The jerk," she couldn't resist adding.

She eventually emerged from the forest and found him seated at the base of the mountain. Right where she'd left him.

"Did we have a productive sit?" she snarled.

He sent her a cool look.

"And was the old bastard right?" he inquired.

There was a hint of smugness in his tone that made her want to gouge his eyes out; how was it possible that a speck of ego was infinitely more offensive than the whole, self-proclaiming monster?

"I asked first," she said through gritted teeth.

He sent her an "I-told-you-so" look and rose in one graceful movement that made her loathe him even more. He politely refrained, however, from verbally expressing his obvious supremacy in judgment.

"Have I told you lately that I hate you?" she asked, hands on her hips.

"Several times this morning, as I recall," he replied, hands in his sleeves.

That was true; she'd told him she hated him once before they ascended the mountain, after he told her she was stupid to go looking for her friends using Toutousai as reference; again when they reached the bottom—because he had grabbed her and leapt down without warning and scared the living shit out of her—and once again when he had refused to go to the village with her to look for her friends. It was quite a way to start the day, all in all.

"Just checking."

"I'm sure."

Kagome managed to keep from screaming like a head case. Barely.

His eyes suddenly narrowed and darted around. Her resentment evaporated, to be replaced by a very unpleasant feeling of foreboding.

She moved closer to him, her hands clenching nervously.

"What's…h'm…what is it?" she asked.

"Taijiya."

She flinched, then walked around to gape at him.

"Taijiya?" she asked, looking pleasantly surprised; one of the friends she was searching for, after all, had been a taijiya. Then she frowned. "Wait a minute, how the hell do you know?"

"I smell the stench of humanity and old blood. Youkai blood." he added.

She glared at him but didn't go for the bait; it would have been a dumb argument, anyway.

"How do you know some youkai didn't duke it out a while back, huh?"

He sent her an odd look.

"'Duke it out'?" he repeated.

Kagome groaned. "We're going to have to have a talk," she muttered. "Fight. Fought—whatever!" she said in exasperation, throwing her hands up in the air. He dodged a certain blow to the nose. "Just answer the question!"

"It is a stupid question," he coolly returned, "and answering it would be beneath this Sesshoumaru. Now shut up." And so saying, he shoved her aside.

He was only mildly annoyed with himself for allowing Toutousai to talk him into letting the swordsmith attend to Toukijin and Tenseiga this morning rather than later. Both swords were in need of some minor work; Toukijin needed to be sharpened and Tenseiga's grip had been cracked during his last battle. It wasn't a serious crack yet, but it had made sense this morning to let the old man attend to it and Toukijin.

Still, they were only humans. Granted, they exterminated youkai for a living, but they were still humans.

Two figures appeared, a man and a woman, dressed in black suits similar to the one Kagome remembered Sango wearing, one with silver accents and the other with gold. And the female was holding a HUGE boomerang. Could it be…?

"Oh holiest shit of shits," Kagome said, eyes wide.

Sesshoumaru shot her an irritated glare.

"I told you to shut up," he said, sounding downright murderous.

She glared back at him. "When have I ever listened to anything you told me to do?" she demanded. "Who do you think you are, anyway, ordering me around like a slave? You're not the boss of me, pal—"

"HIRAIKOTSU!"

Kagome looked up and saw the boomerang hurtling straight for her, coming too fast to move out of the way. She threw up her hands, shut her eyes and braced for an impact that never came.

Sesshoumaru was mildly impressed with the barrier the miko had erected around both herself and him. And judging from the looks of the taijiya on the other side, so were they.

Kagome opened an eye when she didn't feel the Hiraikotsu slam into her. She saw purple light in front of her and opened both eyes. She stared ahead, at her hands, stunned.

"Oh wow," she said in wonder, "I didn't know I could do that."

She heard a sigh from somewhere behind her and looked around to find Sesshoumaru watching her. He appeared to be caught between resignation and horror.

"Why am I not surprised?" he muttered, settling on resignation. It was the least demeaning of the two.

"Oh shut up," she crankily threw back. "Why didn't _you_ do anything?"

"I prefer not to come into contact with your ki if I can absolutely help it," he replied, bored. "You had already thrown up the barrier."

"So I saved your ass, basically."

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. "Hardly," he sneered.

"I'll take down this barrier," she warned.

"I wish you would—standing here is wasteful and pointless."

Pause. Then:

"Oh shut up."

Kagome turned her attention back to the taijiya staring at them on the other side of her barrier. That was a surprise. She still had no idea how she'd managed to put one up, but she realized very quickly that it was highly unstable, and would remain up only as long as she held out her hands. This was raw power, and it was a little scary.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked.

"What?" He did not sound thrilled.

"I don't think I can do what you want me to."

He didn't respond for a long time.

"Miko, I did not bring you with me to think. I brought you with me to purify, and you can do that well enough."

She screwed her eyes shut and abruptly let her hands fall to her sides, feeling her annoyance build to heights hitherto unknown. She turned and faced him and fixed him with a look that was eerily similar to his. He raised an eyebrow.

"You," she said slowly, enunciating carefully, "are the most narcissistic son of a bitch I have ever met and I hope you die. TODAY."

It was a rather impressive death wish, as far as mikos were concerned. Fate, however, seemed determined not to deliver:

"HIRAIKOTSU!"

"Not again!" Kagome yelled, turning and once again putting up a barrier. "I'm trying to win an argument over here! Stop interfering, damn it!"

"Stop putting up a barrier!" Sesshoumaru snapped. "It merely invites them to try and break through."

"Oh and I suppose you have a better idea?"

"Of course."

She stared at him, then looked horrified. She would have looked comical if she wasn't so infuriating.

"You are NOT killing those people!" she yelled at him.

"And your way is conducive to results?" he said, staring pointedly at her hands.

"I won't let you!"

That brought him up short, and he stared at her in disbelief.

"Are you truly so stupid, woman?" he asked at long last. "Do you honestly believe every foolish word that flies out of your mouth?"

"That's it!" Kagome pulled her hands away from the barrier and it died. She cracked her knuckles, then allowed her anger to tap into her ki and her hands began glowing. "I'm going to purify you, you arrogant bastard, and then I'm going to do a happy dance all over your ashes and then I'm going home!"

Sesshoumaru forgot about the taijiya and focused his attention on the miko. He was going to have to kill her, and then find a new miko. It made him furious, after all the trouble he'd gone through. Hell, he'd kept her alive long enough to kill her, that was all. He should have allowed her to die by the river instead of helping her. Desperation drove a youkai to do strange and unnatural things, but accepting disrespect from a _human_ was NOT one of them.

She leapt at him and Sesshoumaru ducked out of the way and she slammed into the ground. She lifted herself up onto her knees and shook her head, then stumbled to her feet. As she was going to turn around, though, she saw something move in the trees and stopped. She watched as the male taijiya appeared and suddenly let a strange, mace-like object loose. At the same moment, the female hurled the boomerang, yelling,

"HIRAIKOTSU!"

"Shit," Kagome growled, leaping down onto the ground again. The mace-thing sailed over her head, just barely missing her. She felt the Hiraikotsu whistle through the air behind her, and she peeked around and saw that Sesshoumaru had disappeared. She scrambled to her feet and saw him floating up in the air on a cloud of youki, his face the picture of bored distain.

"I'll make you sorry if you kill them!" she yelled up at him. "They might know where Sango-chan and Miroku-sama are, and if you kill them before I can ask—"

"Who are you, Miko?" the male taijiya bellowed, and Kagome yelped and turned around.

He had stepped out of the woods and was frowning at her. He was closer now, and she could see him more clearly. There was something familiar there, in the shape of his face and the twist of his mouth. He sort of reminded her of….

"Do you know where I can find Sango, the taijiya?" she asked. "She traveled with a fire neko, Kirara?"

The young man looked startled. "How can you know of Obaa-san?" he asked.

Kagome felt her jaw go slack.

"'Obaa-san'?" she parroted.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

An hour later, Kagome and Sesshoumaru had followed the two taijiya to a rather large village several miles outside of the other village closer to Toutousai's mountain.

"This way, the youkai we fight around here won't harm the villagers," the girl, Gin, told them.

Kagome nodded dumbly; Sesshoumaru didn't respond at all.

Her brother, Kin, glanced at the silent demon. It had taken some serious convincing on Kagome's part to prevent the siblings from meeting a painful end courtesy of the pissy Lord of the Western Lands. Obviously, there were still some doubts.

Their appearance caused something of a sensation to go through the taijiya village. People took one look at Sesshoumaru and did one of two things: they either ran screaming for their weapons…or they ran screaming for the head man. Kagome sighed.

"Someone hates me," she muttered.

"I'll give you one guess who," Sesshoumaru said dryly.

She scowled at him. "I wasn't talking about you, _your highness_," she snapped.

"How perceptive of you, Miko. Perhaps you aren't as dim-witted as I previously thought."

"Go to hell."

"Make me."

"Gladly," she said, her ki beginning to glow.

A voice stopped her from attempting to purify the demon at her side:

"What have you got there, Kin-kun?" came an authoritative voice, and Kagome looked around and saw a tall man in dark blue monk's robes blocking the way. He held a very familiar shakujou in one hand, its brass rings chiming softly in the breeze, just as they always had. He was eyeing them with suspicion, and Kagome almost wept with joy: it was Miroku, right down to the expression.

"Miroku?" she asked, voice shy and tentative.

The man looked startled—he actually dropped his staff—and he stared at her, dumbstruck.

"Who?" the man asked.

"Miroku-sama," Kagome said, less sure now; she was getting weird looks from the people gathered around them.

"Ojisan, the miko asked for Obaa-san," Kin said, bowing before his uncle.

Kin's uncle looked from his nephew to Kagome.

"Miko-sama, step forward."

Kagome sent Sesshoumaru a worried look. He merely returned her gaze, expression telling her nothing. She sighed, hoping he wouldn't be petty enough to let her get killed over a little purification threat, and walked toward the man.

The closer she got him, the clearer it became that this man was NOT Miroku; there were streaks of gray at his temples that she hadn't seen in her excitement, wrinkles where there had never been wrinkles before. Her eyes clouded with tears, and by the time she was standing in front of him, the world was nothing more than blurred shapes and colors that bled into each other.

The man tilted his head. Kagome sniffed.

"Miko-sama, why do you weep?" he asked, voice kind, if a little bemused.

"You're not Miroku-sama…are you?" she asked, voice cracking.

He watched her silently, then shook his head.

"No. I am Mamoru. Miroku was my father's name."

"And Sango…?"

"My mother's name."

Kagome smiled through her tears.

"Where…are they?" she managed to choke out. She was wringing her hands before her.

Mamoru reached out and gently took her hands in his. They were warm and rough with calluses, and Kagome looked down at them. The tears in her eyes finally spilled out and ran down her cheeks.

"Okaa-san died twenty-two years ago," he said softly, and Kagome's back stiffened as pain ripped through her. "Otou-san followed her ten years later." He squeezed gently. "I'm sorry, Miko-sama."

She was really dumb sometimes—how could she have forgotten that time hadn't stood still on the other side of the well? That more than half a century had passed since she'd last been there, with her friends, battling Naraku and saving the world?

She felt cold and small and isolated, as if the world around her had faded into nothingness and left her behind. It wasn't quite the numbing nothingness that had assailed her upon learning of Inuyasha's death because she could still feel the wretched ache in her chest, where her heart used to be, before everyone she'd loved and cared about in this era had died….

She reached out blindly, not sure exactly what she was looking for, and warm hands pulled her into a comforting embrace and held her there while the tears rolled silently down her cheeks. It was too much. Too much death, too much grief…too much, too close together.

"Were they happy?" she managed to say, voice shaking.

She heard the grin in his voice when he replied,

"Buddha smiled down on them, Miko-sama."


	8. Shattered

A/N: Holy Mother this week sucked ass. I hope everyone else's was better than mine, because I wouldn't wish the week I had on anyone, no matter how badly they pissed me off. And next week promises to be just as crappy: tests galore and I've caught a cold. Oh happy me. But enough of my bitching, let's do something constructive, shall we?

**First**: I'd like to thank Megan Consoer and Odious Feline for their kind words; I didn't notice the reviews until I logged in the other day, since I haven't checked my email in forever, and they cheered me up lots. I give you both hugs and perhaps cookies. I'm kinda broke right now, so…yeah—moving on.

**Second**: This is my longest chapter to date—twenty-three pages. I just couldn't seem to shut up. : ). But I think you guys'll enjoy it anyway. Also, I think this is my favorite chapter so far. I don't know why exactly—perhaps it's because I actually like the way it turned out. Or maybe I just like depressing myself. (_shrugs_)

**Third**: (Related to Number Two...sort of) I feel I must warn you all: the end of this chapter takes a sort of depressing dip. Nothing bad (I think, anyway, but what do I know), but there ain't any frolicking pixie children, either…disregard that "frolicking pixie children" thing, I have no idea where in the hell that came from. Perhaps I should start sleeping more than four hours a night. Anyway, enjoy.

* * *

Disclaimer: I wish….

* * *

Words To Know: 

ofudas: charms with kanji written on one side

aneue: a very respectful way of saying older sister

otouto: little brother

konichiwa: hello

bangohan: dinner; literally, "evening rice/meal"

sensei: teacher, master; in this story, mostly means teacher

hirugohan: lunch; literally, "noon rice/meal"

bokken: wooden practice sword

kata: patterns of movements in kenjutsu

onii-san: older brother

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Shattered**

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

_Help me now,_

_Or hold me down,_

_I feel my world is tumblin'—_

_Spiral down._

"Rain City"/ Turin Brakes

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

"My parents were great taijiya. Well, Okaa-san was. Otou-san specialized in exorcisms. As a child, I was most intrigued by his ofudas," Mamoru said to Kagome, smiling quietly in a manner reminiscent of the man he'd lived his life emulating. Well, everything but the proclivity for perversion anyway.

Mamoru had taken Kagome to his elder sister's hut, with whom he had taken up residence after her husband's death several years before. The older woman was wrinkled and slightly bent, had just turned fifty-nine, but was full of the same thirst for life that had driven Miroku.

Same feeling, different purpose.

Miroku had feared not being able to live to see tomorrow. He'd compensated for that—or had attempted to, anyway—by trying to cram everything into today. His first born, Mika, on the other hand, lived life as if each day were her last because her father had told her, at a very young age, that life was an uncertain business, and what was here today might not be here tomorrow, and so it was her duty to enjoy everything around her while it was still there. She had never forgotten that lesson, and it infused everything she did with a zest for living, an enthusiasm, completely at odds with the sadness and misery of the times she lived in.

Kagome found the two of them soothing. Mamoru grinned wryly when he called her "Aneue," obviously eyeing the thick shocks of white running through her black hair. He had inherited his father's sense of humor, evidently.

Mika mostly ignored him and called him a pest when he deviled her overly, but she sent him fond smiles and gave his head gentle, almost absentminded pats when she walked by him. Mamoru grinned at Kagome when his elder sister patted his head for the fourth time since they had arrived at the older woman's hut.

"She thinks I'm her pet," he informed Kagome.

"And a poor one, at that," Mika haughtily returned. "You're more troublesome than Kirara ever was."

Kagome looked up at Mika.

"Whatever happened to Kirara?" she asked.

Mika smiled sadly.

"Okaa-san's fire neko was faithful to a fault. After Okaa-san died, Kirara moped around for a time, kept Otou-san company. I think having Kirara with him, at his side, comforted him."

"They should have died together," Kagome said to no one in particular. The siblings watched her, though, startled by the announcement. "That was cruel of Fate, for one to have to live without the other."

"Hai," Mamoru said quietly after a moment, eyes on the wood floor. Mika nodded, then shook herself.

"In any case, after Otou-san died, Kirara went out to Okaa-san's grave and laid down next to it. She refused to move from there. She died there several days later. We laid her next to Okaa-san. It was fitting. She served us all so devotedly. The least we could do was lay her next to the master she had loved so well for so long."

Kagome nodded, then sighed.

"I should have been here," she murmured.

"Er, Miko-sama," Mamoru said, exchanging a curiously uncomfortable look with his sister, "who, exactly, are you?"

Kagome stared at him, a little thrown off by the question.

"I…." She gaped like a fish for a moment, then shut her mouth. "Why ask now?"

"You were very distraught before," Mika said kindly, taking hold of her brother's shoulder and slowly lowering herself down by his side. He reached up and grabbed hold of her arm, steadying her. Kagome watched them, and suddenly thought of herself and Souta. She wanted to have that with her brother when they got to be elderly, that warm rapport and affection. "We thought it would be best to let you grieve a while before we asked you any questions."

Kagome looked at Mamoru and Mika. They were watching her expectantly. There was nothing in their expressions but kindness and concern. For a stranger.

"Did your parents ever talk about a hanyou?" she asked.

"Inuyasha," they immediately said in unison with a fond grin.

She stared at them in surprise.

"We knew him very well," Mika said with a laugh, "he often came to visit Otou-san and Okaa-san. He was quite rude and crass."

Mamoru smiled, eyes twinkling. "And he had a horrible mouth—taught me my first curse word: fuck. Nearly gave Okaa-san a fit when she heard me."

Mika laughed. Kagome smiled, even though their memories of Inuyasha made her ache. She had been able to ignore the pain so long as she didn't think about the half-demon too much or for too long. Little bits and pieces of their days together, like Goshinki breaking Tessaiga, were harmless, not at all special. She could function as long as her mind stayed away from anything of real substance, anything personal.

She didn't say anything to them, though. Despite the agony she was in, she was starved for news of what Inuyasha had done and who he'd been around after she had left him.

"And what an appetite! He could eat, he could," Mika said with a sigh. She smiled ruefully. "It hit us very hard when he died. Kaede-baa-chan, the miko of Edo, sent us word. We visit him, when we can. Okaa-san and Otou-san were deeply saddened by his death." She froze suddenly, then looked at Kagome, brow crinkled. Then she abruptly leapt to her feet. Kagome was impressed with her agility, considering her advanced age, even as she was startled by the rapid change in demeanor.

"You!" Mika shouted, pointing at Kagome.

Mamoru struggled to his feet, alarmed. "Aneue," he said, taking her by the arm and gently shaking her, "what's the matter with you?"

"Otouto, it's her!" Mika shouted at him. "Her! The time-traveling miko that Okaa-san and Otou-san told us about! Kagome-sama!"

Kagome's mouth fell open.

"They told you about me?" she asked, mesmerized without quite knowing why. She felt something warm settle into her chest, near her cold, broken heart. The something wasn't enough to stir it back to life, but it made her feel better. They hadn't forgotten her, they hadn't abandoned her, after she'd left them.

Mamoru turned and stared at her in shock.

"You…are her?" he asked.

"My name is Kagome, yes," Kagome said. "I was the one who freed Inuyasha from the miko Kikyou's seal. I fought against Naraku with him, and your parents. And Shippou-chan," she added, realizing she hadn't thought to ask Toutousai about the young fox.

"Great Buddha above," Mamoru murmured, putting a hand to his forehead. "You came through the well?"

Kagome nodded.

"But why now?" Mika asked.

"I don't know," Kagome admitted. "I've been trying to get back since the day the well sucked me back into my own time. But it closed up and wouldn't let me through." She stopped and swallowed, her voice on the edge of cracking. It hurt to remember her desperation to get back to her friends, her failure. Especially now, with all she had learned.

"Until now?" Mika prompted.

Kagome nodded. "I can't figure why, though."

Mika looked puzzled too, until she seemed to remember something and sent her brother a speculative look.

"Otouto? You said she arrived with Sesshoumaru-sama?" she asked.

"Hai," Mamoru replied, "he was trailing along behind her." He smiled without humor. "He did not seem at all pleased."

"No, he wouldn't be," Mika murmured to herself.

Kagome watched them, puzzled. "You know Sesshoumaru?" she asked.

The siblings looked back at her, seemingly surprised. It took her a moment to realize it was probably because she hadn't used an honorific when referring to him, a curiously familiar practice concerning the demon lord, to be sure. She shrugged mentally; she'd never used one before, and the arrogant beast hadn't given her any reason to start now.

"Hai," Mika said after a moment. "We've had dealings with him in the past. He has not been in our village for many many years. I was a girl of ten or nine, the last time he was here."

"I'm guessing, by the look on your face, that he made quite an impression," Kagome said dryly.

"Indeed," Mamoru said, voice quiet, "and I was only six."

"What did he do, destroy the village?" Kagome asked.

"Not quite," Mika returned. She glanced at Mamoru. "Have you spoken to Sesshoumaru-sama yet, Otouto?"

Mamoru shook his head and rose, the rings on his shakujou chiming merrily.

"I wished to get the miko—rather, Kagome-sama—in a calmer state of mind before speaking with Sesshoumaru-sama." He smiled at Kagome, but there was no real humor in it. "As I have done just that, I'll go now."

Mika nodded, and she and Kagome watched the monk leave the hut. The rings were still chiming with Mamoru's every move, and Kagome thought that the sound was far too cheerful for the suddenly oppressive tone of the day. She looked at Mika, who had moved to the hut's only window and was watching her brother's progress.

"Maybe I should go with him and make sure Sesshoumaru doesn't kill him," Kagome said, rising.

"No," Mika said quietly, not looking at her. "My brother will be all right. He's spoken with Sesshoumaru-sama several times before this. The youkai lord has contacted Otouto every now and again over the years…but only Otouto."

"Why? Contact your brother, I mean?" Kagome asked.

"Family business," Mika murmured. She turned away from the window and watched Kagome. Whatever she was going to ask never got asked, however, since a young woman holding a chubby baby suddenly burst through the doorway.

"Obasan, Kin told me about the miko—" The young woman caught sight of Kagome and smiled brightly. "I knew it," she said happily, then walked forward and bowed.

"Konichiwa, Miko-sama," she said. She straightened. "I'm Mai. My husband caught you and the youkai." She jiggled the chubby baby, who gurgled and cooed. "And this is Yasuo, my son."

Mika sighed and reached out and gave Mai's hair a gentle tug.

"Impetuous child," she said, though she didn't sound as though she thought the trait unfavorable.

Kagome found herself smiling.

"Konichiwa, Mai-chan. My name is Kagome." she said with a bow. She straightened and raised an amused eyebrow. "And your husband didn't catch us—I just convinced that really cranky youkai I was with not to kill him."

Mika unsuccessfully smothered a laugh at Kagome's reference to Sesshoumaru. Mai looked cheerfully confused, and Kagome's smile widened.

The three women sat down at the fire pit once more. Mika took baby Yasuo from his mother and told Mai who Kagome was. Kagome listened quietly, astounded that Sango and Miroku had told their children so much of the story of what had happened sixty years ago. Mika knew everything: from Kikyou's nailing Inuyasha to Goshinboku and placing him under enchantment, right down to the last battle with Naraku. Her old friends hadn't sanitized the story in the least, either; she cringed with every swipe of the enemy's sword that Mika recounted.

Mai sat, jaw on the floor, listening to every word. Every now and again, the young woman's eyes would go to Kagome and she would endure the girl's awed gaze uncomfortably. After a time of fidgeting, Kagome grabbed Yasuo, deciding that the baby would at least keep her occupied.

When Mika had concluded her tale, Mai looked at Kagome, who at that particular moment was making faces at Yasuo. The baby clapped his hands eagerly, drool dripping down his chin.

"Kagome-sama?" Mai asked.

Kagome uncrossed her eyes and looked at the girl. "Hai?"

"Is it true?"

"Every single word," Kagome affirmed, then stuck her tongue out at Yasuo, who shrieked with delight and tried to reach out and grab her face.

Kagome moved safely out of the child's grasp.

"Incredible," Mai breathed. Then, her expression changed, and she watched Kagome, eyes speculative. Kagome saw the look.

"What?" she asked, slightly wary; what was with the look?

"You're traveling with a youkai…hai?"

Kagome nodded.

"Why?" Mai asked.

"How do you mean?" Kagome asked.

"Well…are you in love with him? Is that why you're with him?"

Kagome's breath left her lungs, and her heart stopped. She felt her face pale, and her grip on Yasuo softened. It gave the child an opportunity to reach out and grab the black hair he'd been eyeing, and he gave the locks a hard yank as he squealed. The jerk brought Kagome out of her horrified state, and she yelped and grabbed her head in reflex, letting go of the baby, who fell back. Mika scrambled forward and caught the boy before his head made contact with the floor.

"Ow…." Kagome moaned miserably, holding her head.

"I guess I should have warned you about that," Mika said dryly, bouncing the baby on her knee.

"You think?" Kagome muttered, rubbing her aching scalp. She checked her hand and was relieved to find there was no blood.

Mai didn't look at all impressed:

"Kagome-sama? You didn't answer my question. Are you the youkai's lover?"

"NO!" Kagome bellowed, her horror returning. She actually shivered in distaste at the idea of sleeping with Sesshoumaru, even though she knew the chances were slim that such an occurrence would take place. "No, I am NOT that horrible man's…_that_, and I have no desire to be, EVER, PERIOD, THE END!"

The girl, the elderly woman and the baby were staring at her, eyes wide and surprised by the outburst.

"That's good news," came a cold voice from the doorway, and Kagome hunched her shoulders and felt her cheeks burn in humiliation.

"Please kill me now!" she wailed, hiding her face in her hands.

"Oh my," Mika said with a wide smile at the young miko's expense.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Sundown found them making their way up to Toutousai's forge.

Kagome was still mortified that Sesshoumaru had heard her response to Mai's horrible question. She'd have assumed that he would have been relieved that she was so opposed to an intimate relationship with him. Instead, he'd seemed almost insulted that she should find him so undesirable. She guessed it was a male pride thing. She wasn't sure if that explanation made the whole experience less weird or not. For her part, she was still extremely freaked out that someone had assumed she was Sesshoumaru's… right. _That_.

She grimaced. She couldn't even say it in her mind. It was too wrong, too weird, too…gross. She stuck out her tongue and shivered. Very, very gross.

"Stop doing that."

She froze at hearing his voice. She swallowed after a tense second.

"Stop doing what?"

He sent her one of those frigid looks over his shoulder. She cringed.

"THAT."

"Sorry," she muttered.

He rolled his eyes and faced forward again. Kagome sighed inwardly.

They had collected the shinai, at least; Mamoru had been more than happy to lend them to her, once he stopped laughing at her outburst and Sesshoumaru's expression. Kagome guessed that some day she would remember the look on his face—the weirdest mix of outraged relief—and find it amusing. Hilarious, even. That day, unfortunately, would not come for some time. Of that, she was entirely certain.

They didn't talk to each other the rest of the way up the mountain, and by the time they reached the top, Kagome was so sore and hungry that she didn't feel like talking anyway. Toutousai met them when they crested the last rise. He was seated on a big flat rock just outside his cave, his hammer over his shoulder. Upon seeing them, he smiled.

"Ah, I was wondering when you two were going to be getting back," he said. His grin widened when he turned his attention to Kagome. "Did you enjoy your visit?"

"How did you know we found them?" she asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Taijiya cannot ignore Sesshoumaru's youki. It is too powerful."

There was no arguing that.

"I have bangohan waiting for you inside, Kagome," Toutousai said with an almost paternal grin.

"Thank the gods!" she said fervently, bowing quickly to Toutousai and running into the cave. "Doumo arigatou Ojii-san!"

"Enjoy it child." the old demon returned, then eyed Sesshoumaru. "I forgot about the arrangement you had with the taijiya, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru set the shinai against the mountainside and glared at the swordsmith, who cringed.

"I'm sure," he said dryly, cracking his knuckles.

"Now now—that was fifty years ago! Surely you don't expect me to remember every single dealing you've had with various groups over such a long period of time!" Toutousai said nervously. He edged off the side of the rock he was seated on, mentally calculating how much time he had to make it into the cave. If worst came to worst, he'd just sic Kagome on the younger demon. That might result in the complete ruination of his forge, but at least he'd be alive to rebuild and repair and live another day.

"No?" Sesshoumaru asked, slowly advancing. "You seem to have a very vivid memory for most everything, Toutousai-_sama_. I find it curious indeed that you should be so remiss with regards to the arrangement between the taijiya and myself…unless, of course, your intent was to irritate me. In which case you have succeeded most skillfully, might I add."

Toutousai's eyes darted to the cave. He wouldn't make it if he didn't belch, and he was sure that if he did now, he'd burn Sesshoumaru somewhere. Ordinarily, he wasn't overly concerned by that possibility, but the demon's mood had been darker and more volatile than usual, and Toutousai didn't need to be disemboweled at this particular point in his admittedly long life. Especially not by someone who had been waiting for an excuse to do just that for the last half-century. Give or take.

"Look here puppy," Toutousai said, pretending a bravery he did not feel, "if you wish for the miko to have a katana, you'll let me live long enough to craft it."

Sesshoumaru smiled—and Toutousai had never been so afraid of him in his life.

"But you forget, you crazy old bastard: I have a katana that can revive the dead. In which case, I could spend the entire night killing and reviving you…and you would still be able to craft the miko's weapon in the morning."

Toutousai smiled.

"Tenseiga is inside," he pointed out.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow. "Who said I needed to have the katana at my side when I killed you for the first time?"

The smile on Toutousai's face faded. The one on Sesshoumaru's grew decidedly more feral.

"Shit," Toutousai said a second before he belched.

Sesshoumaru dove out of the way, and Toutousai ran into the cave.

"Come back here you asshole!" Sesshoumaru bellowed, stalking into the cave after him.

"I need to get a rosary for you," Kagome said from the table. She was sitting, very unconcerned, at Toutousai's table, pouring herself a cup of tea.

The comment threw him off.

"What?" he snapped.

"You don't have to yell, I can hear you just fine," she said calmly, not bothering to look up. "I said I need to get a rosary for you."

"For what purpose would this Sesshoumaru need a rosary?" he sneered.

"Youkai need a good, hard sit now and then," she replied blandly.

He went still for a minute, then bristled with rage.

"WHAT!"

She looked up at him, set down her chopsticks, and stood to face him. Then she hauled back and decked him.

"You bastard—you KNEW they were there the whole time and you let me waste my time looking in the wrong damn village!" she shouted.

He grabbed her by the neck and lifted her off the ground. She grabbed his wrist with a glowing hand. He squeezed; she drew out her ki. They stood like that for a long time in silence, until Sesshoumaru's wrist started smoking and Kagome started seeing black spots dancing before her eyes.

"I'll let go if you will," she offered, hiding the dizziness she felt from lack of oxygen.

"I'm disinclined," he said through gritted teeth.

"How long did it take for your arm to regenerate?"

"Thirty years."

"I guess you feel like waiting another thirty to grow a new one?"

He dropped her, then stepped over her as she lay on the floor, gasping for breath and coughing.

"Toutousai, you miserable shit—where are you?" he roared.

Kagome sat up, rubbing her neck.

"Yup—definitely need to get a rosary for him," she muttered to herself.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

They settled into a rhythm. Sort of.

Sesshoumaru awakened her every single morning by entering Toutousai's chamber and very rudely ripping the sheets off her. He'd then reach down, grab her by the haori and shake her until she opened her eyes and tried to purify him.

After breakfast, Toutousai went to work on her sword and armor, which Sesshoumaru had also insisted on. Kagome had argued with him until he'd grabbed her and shaken her so hard her teeth had nearly rattled out of her head. It had been an unpleasant experience, to say the least.

As for Sesshoumaru and Kagome, they began working with the shinai. That too, unfortunately, proved an unpleasant experience. It also proved to be a mercifully short one.

"As a rule, shinai are not usually used to teach kenjutsu," Sesshoumaru said, dumping the bamboo "swords" in the middle of a quiet, grassy plain not far from Toutousai's mountain. "However, as you have never had any practice with a sword of any kind, it is best to introduce kenjutsu to you in this manner."

Kagome dropped her bag and bow and quiver on the grass. Toutousai had warned her that Sesshoumaru would likely prove an exacting sensei, and he had provided her with a lunch, in the event that the demon lord would not allow her to return to the cave for hirugohan.

"Why aren't the shinai used?" she asked, eyeing the weapons in question.

"Because they are inadequate. They do not preserve the cutting technique that is the root of what kenjutsu is."

"So why bother?"

He sighed, and she knew he was irritated. She was getting much better at irritating him, though it probably wasn't something to celebrate.

"Because there is less chance of injury with shinai."

Kagome frowned, then shrugged. "Whatever," she said.

Sesshoumaru snorted. "Whatever indeed," he muttered under his breath, then leaned over and picked up the shinai. He tossed one at Kagome, who fumblingly caught it by the middle.

"How in the hell—" she began.

"Grab the handle stupid woman, unless you wish to use the shinai as a club."

She glared at him but did as he told her.

That lasted all of five seconds.

Kagome never really remembered how it happened, but the next thing she knew, she had whacked Sesshoumaru over the shoulder with her shinai with enough force to break the bamboo, and tear his kimono. His response was swift and immediate: he whacked her right back, sending her flying three feet and breaking his shinai. It degenerated from there, and they whacked each other with the rapidly shortening shinai until they were left with the handles.

She tossed hers over her shoulder, panting. Her ribs were aching, and she could feel blood dripping from the corner of her mouth. She sniffed and wiped the blood with the back of her hand, smearing it over chin. She cracked her knuckles.

"Well?" she taunted.

Sesshoumaru smirked at her; he was standing in mid-crouch across from her, his stance not all that different from hers. He cracked the knuckles of both hands simultaneously, the popping bones sounding loud in the deadly quiet of the plain.

"Aren't we brave," he said, with a smile that would have frozen anyone else's blood in their veins. His fangs gleamed in the mid-morning sun.

"And why should I be afraid of a mangy dog?" she threw back.

"You will regret your foolishness, Miko."

They ran at each other, Sesshoumaru with his claws at the ready and Kagome gathering her ki. They crashed into each other, but he didn't use his poison and she didn't use her ki. They just started pounding each other. It wasn't the most noble fight Sesshoumaru had ever engaged in, particularly since they were rolling around in the dirt, but he was beyond caring at this point. The woman was entirely too disrespectful, and while he had never advocated violence against the fairer sex, he was sure that in this instance, an exception could be made.

He was appalled to find that he had taken her too lightly. She was far wilier than he'd first thought, and she had managed to get out from under him and wrap an arm around his neck. She didn't have nearly enough strength to choke him, but it was the fact that she'd been able to do it at all that pissed him off. He reached around, grabbed her by the obi and yanked. She let out a screech. He figured out why when his hand came back with her obi…minus the rest of her.

"Damn it!" she yelled, whacking him on the shoulder with her fist. "What the hell did you do that for!"

It wasn't his intent, but there was no way he was going to admit that. He sent her a sidelong look.

"To get you to stop, of course," he returned, sounding bored.

"Well I've stopped, so give it back now," she said.

"Get off me."

"No."

He raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

She snorted. "I highly doubt that you'd ever beg for anything," she muttered. She reached around him and tried to snatch the obi from his hand. He simply transferred it to his other hand.

"Get off of me and you may have the obi back."

She ground her teeth together. "I'd prefer if you just gave it to me right now."

"I have absolutely no interest in what you'd prefer."

She slammed her head down against his shoulder and moaned.

"PLEASE give it back?" she whined from his shoulder.

"If you make me repeat myself one more time, Miko, you WILL be desperately unhappy," he dryly informed her.

"I'm ALREADY desperately unhappy, thank you very much!" she snapped, lifting her head. She grabbed his hair and yanked. "Just give me the stupid obi already!"

He sighed, grabbed her and tried to throw her off him. She just clung tighter to him and squealed. He cringed at the sound and stopped to glare at her. She glared back.

"Get off!" he snapped.

"NO!" she bellowed.

"Why in the seven hells not!" he bellowed back.

"Because my fucking hakama's too big to tie tight and the obi is the only thing keeping it up!" she returned, pulling on his hair. "Now give it BACK!"

"I should strangle you with it," he said in disgust, throwing it at her.

She let go of him and fell onto the ground on her backside with an "Oof!" He glanced over his shoulder and saw her gathering her too big clothes in one hand, and awkwardly tying the obi around her waist with the other. She noticed him watching her and kicked him.

"Don't watch!"

He snorted and turned to face forward. "As if I was that hard up," he muttered.

She kicked him again, and he reached around, grabbed her ankle and yanked. She crashed into his back; he never so much as flinched.

"Try it again," he invited, "and see what happens."

"You're such a jerk."

He shrugged, folding his hands into his sleeves; he couldn't have cared less of her opinion of him.

He reviewed her first lesson and frowned. It had been, hands down, a complete disaster. Not only had nothing been accomplished, they had destroyed their equipment. And then, of course, there was his behavior.

He had behaved completely beneath his station. It was undignified. It was unseemly. It was that, or kill her. And he'd really prefer not to kill her. It was simpler to deal with a miko who was already familiar with and not adverse to dealing with youkai on terms other than purification. Or it had been. Until he had actually taken this particular miko with him. Why was it that strategies were always easier in theory than actual execution?

He closed his eyes and settled himself. It was difficult. Her ki was powerful, almost as powerful as his youki. And whenever they were anywhere near each other, he had to fight his youki down. It was a natural reaction, the need to fight for dominance. He supposed that his irrational reaction to the miko was a manifestation of the power struggle between his youki and her ki.

But brawling in the dirt with a human woman? This had to stop here. Today. Now. Or someone was going to have to die.

"Miko," he said, opening his eyes and staring ahead.

"What?" she asked sullenly; the rasp of cloth on cloth told him she was still fixing her clothing.

"It occurs to me that all this childish fighting is wasteful."

She paused.

"That we are accomplishing nothing, and I am no nearer my goal than I was a fortnight ago."

"So…?" she prompted.

"I propose a truce of sorts. I will not kill you if you will stop…." He groped for the right words.

"Annoying you?" she offered.

"I suppose that about sums it up," he said.

"But we already agreed to that."

"That was in specific reference to your infernal talking. I'm suggesting a more all-around agreement."

She sighed. "I hate you."

"I know."

She sighed again.

They sat in silence for a long time, and then he heard her crawl around from behind him and seat herself next to him. She set her chin in the palm of one hand and shut her eyes. Sesshoumaru ignored her and watched the grass, and silence reigned once more.

"You know," she said after several blissful moments had passed, "if we could just control our tempers, we'd probably avoid this kind of stuff more often." She frowned. "I haven't acted so childishly since…ever, actually." She turned her head to look at him. "And I can't even imagine you ever acting like this. In fact, it's really weird."

"You inspire a particularly violent response," he returned, not looking at her.

She frowned again. "But you could control it…right?"

"In theory," he said. "Actually doing so is another matter altogether. It is difficult to control the urge to do you harm, Miko."

She watched him.

"Are you a threat to me?" she asked finally.

"At this particular moment, no."

"And tomorrow?"

He didn't reply. Kagome didn't like the thoughts running through her mind.

"How is this going to work?" she whispered.

Again, he made no reply, mainly because he didn't know. He wasn't about to admit his ignorance, however—the hell he would, in front of the miko of all people.

"Has it always been this way?" she asked. "I mean, before…in the past…when I was with…." She trailed off.

"No," he replied. "I was never focused on you in particular, and so you were of no concern."

"Gee, doumo," she muttered under her breath. "I don't get it—why now?"

"You have formidable power, Miko. With it, comes a ki of corresponding stature. And because you have no control over it—"

"Bullshit, I have control over it!" she said. "I put up a barrier yesterday!"

He finally looked over at her. "And would it have kept me from leaving?"

She watched him quietly. "You knew it was unstable?" she asked finally.

"It was obvious that the energy lacked focus. It was an instinctive reaction, nothing more. Leftovers from the dead miko, I suppose. It kept the taijiya out, but it wouldn't have been able to keep me in had I decided to leave."

"So why didn't you?"

"I would have gotten singed in the process. It is a sensation I find exceptionally annoying. Besides, I wished to see what you could do."

"Not much, it would seem," she said, laying back in the grass and staring up at the sky. "This sucks," she said morosely.

He was inclined to agree, despite the fact that he wasn't entirely sure what she meant; mostly, he based his agreement on the tenor of her voice.

They sat in silence, each lost in thought.

"We need to stop fighting," Kagome said a long while later.

"We've established that." he returned sarcastically.

She sighed and sat up. "You see? That's what I'm talking about. We have to stop baiting each other. That's what starts the fighting. We'll never accomplish anything if we're constantly at each others' throats."

"It's not that simple, you realize," he said after a pause.

"Yeah, I know—you're REALLY annoying."

He glared at her. She held up her hands. "I wasn't trying to start anything, honest."

He went back to staring at the trees. Kagome watched him.

"We're just going to have to control our less than mature impulses," she said. "I mean, we're adults. This shouldn't be so difficult."

He snorted.

"Besides…we can always take it out on each other when we practice my kenjutsu."

THAT gave him pause.

"I believe we have an accord, Miko."

Kagome smiled.

"I'm glad to hear it Youkai. Shall we shake on that?"

"'Shake'?" He raised an eyebrow, looking at her suspiciously.

"Shake hands, I mean," she qualified. "To—" She pursed her lips and watched him. "You know what? Never mind."

She was very proud of her restraint…and wondered how long it would take before she snapped and went for his throat again.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Once they had agreed to try maturity, it was decided that a trip to the taijiya was in order. So, Kagome gathered the handles of the shinai and she and Sesshoumaru set out for the village in silence. They never spoke to each other once, simply walked side by side until the village watchman saw them and yelled of their approach to the head man.

"Will you be doing the honors or will I?" she asked, glancing up at him.

He looked down at her. She pursed her lips and watched him for a moment, then sighed.

"O-o-okay: me it is."

Mamoru met them at the village gate, his shakujou in tow. He smiled when he saw her.

"Ah, Kagome-sama, konichiwa," he greeted, bowing to her, since she had stepped ahead of Sesshoumaru. Mamoru turned to Sesshoumaru and bowed low. "Konichiwa, Sesshoumaru-sama. It is an honor to have you visit us again this day. Please, come."

They followed Mamoru into the village. Mai waved to her; Kagome waved back, grinning. The younger woman reminded her of herself.

"Please, come and share hirugohan with myself and my sister," Mamoru invited.

"Oh, we'd like to but this visit isn't exactly what you'd call social, Mamoru-sama," Kagome said, untying the carrying cloth she'd borrowed from Toutousai to carry her lunch in from around her shoulders and digging through it for the shinai handles. She quickly found them, of course, pulled them out and held them up, smiling nervously.

The monk stared at the handles in surprise, then reached out and took one from her and examined it. Then he stared at her.

"This is a shinai handle," he stated.

"Hai, it is," she dutifully replied.

"This is MY shinai handle."

"Hai." Her smile grew wider and more nervous.

Mamoru reached out and took the other handle from her, leaning his shakujou against his chest. He looked from one to the other, obviously struck speechless. At long last, he looked up at her.

"There was…that is, there were some…difficulties," Kagome began slowly, "and the, uh, shinai…." She clenched her hands together and took in a deep breath. "Right, let's start over—"

Mamoru looked down at the shinai handles, then took a closer look at Kagome and Sesshoumaru. The miko was smudged and disheveled, and the youkai lord was looking slightly unkempt. The monk caught sight of a tear in Sesshoumaru's kimono and realized exactly what had happened. He smiled suddenly, throwing Kagome off. She frowned at him in confusion, hands still clenched before her.

"Mamoru-sama?"

Mamoru looked down at her, now trying to desperately hold in the laughter that was almost choking him in its rush to be let out.

"I take it the lesson was short?" he asked.

"Uh…." Kagome looked over at Sesshoumaru, who was ignoring everyone and staring at something on the horizon. Right: she was on her own. "You could…say that." she returned, rubbing the back of her head and smiling abashedly.

Mamoru laughed until tears ran down his cheeks.

They began practicing with bokken borrowed from Toutousai the next day.

Kagome found she enjoyed the practice, despite the fact that it was ridiculously easy to be injured or even killed with the wooden sword. Sesshoumaru mentioned that duels could be and were fought with bokken in addition to live swords, and many of them had ended in death. But instead of giving her pause, the comment interested her intensely. She'd asked him how. His lips had twitched faintly.

"Perhaps once you've had enough practice."

She took that to mean he was going to show her, perhaps even duel with her. And she found herself looking forward to it.

Sesshoumaru didn't start her off on anything particularly deadly. Her first day with the bokken was all about proper hand position on the handle. It was something basic and easy, and Kagome didn't feel quite so inadequate. The demon lord was no cheerleader, and not prone to encouragement, but she still felt like he'd patted her on the head when he said,

"You have a natural affinity for sword handling."

Which was ironic, given that he was a dog.

The second day of practice, he made her repeat the hand positioning over and over and over again, grasping the bokken by the "blade" and holding the handle out to her. He also instructed her to loosen her grip, rapping her over the knuckles with the handle when she screwed up, and he wasn't the least bit gentle. It took six raps to get her to focus on what she was doing. Once it had been established that she knew how she was supposed to be holding a sword, he had her practice slicing the bokken through the air, so that she got a feel for what he called "cutting."

"I feel like I'm chopping wood," she said.

"Do it," he returned, hands folded over his chest.

"I HAVE to look like a baka!" she protested.

His gaze dropped several degrees. "You ARE a baka—now do it."

She briefly thought of clubbing him over the head with the bokken, but decided against it. They had an agreement, after all. Besides, she'd probably never get within five feet of him, he moved too fast.

She did as she was told. He watched her for several moments.

"Stop," he said.

"Gladly," she muttered, glad no one else was around to see her acting so foolishly.

He walked over to her and looked her over, eye as critical as it was clinical, then grabbed her bokken and tested its weight in his hand. He frowned.

"What?" she asked.

He didn't reply. He simply handed the instrument back to her.

"It can't be helped," he said, more to himself than to her. Then he eyed her. "Your movements are appallingly sloppy, woman."

She stared at him. "Look pal," she said after watching him in disbelief, "you just asked me to swing this stupid thing through the air like a moron—you didn't give me any instructions or anything, you just told me to 'get a feel for cutting,' whatever the hell that meant—"

"It meant exactly that: to become acquainted with the feel of the bokken cutting through the air," he interrupted. "A real sword, a proper sword, will feel similar but not exactly the same. It would be slightly heavier, but the idea remains the same."

Her mouth formed an "O" as she realized what he was talking about.

"So, this thing is supposed to help me learn katas," she said, and he nodded. She nodded too. "But that means I have to be taught katas first."

He shut his eyes. Kagome's lips twitched; he was supremely annoyed with her, and she wasn't even trying. She wondered when it had become a game.

He showed her how she was supposed to be moving, and she mimicked him as best she could, but by the end of the day, her wrists were aching. When she complained about it to him—not that she thought he was listening for a second to her whining—he told her she should wrap her wrists. She was surprised by the advice, and wondered why he had bothered. It occurred to her he might have tried being helpful to see if it would shut her up, so she decided she would reward his cunning with more complaining.

Toutousai looked up from his work table at their entrance. Sesshoumaru set the bokken against the wall; Kagome plopped down at the table and rubbed her wrists.

"Well?" Toutousai asked. He looked at the bokken. "I see my equipment is still intact, so I'm going to assume it was a productive afternoon."

"That's very optimistic of you," Sesshoumaru muttered, settling down against the wall opposite Kagome. Kagome sent him a killing look that he ignored; Toutousai coughed, hiding a laugh. He noticed she was rubbing her wrists and shook his head.

"I thought you might have trouble wielding the bokken," he commented.

Kagome glanced up and shrugged.

"He said I should wrap my wrists," she said, gesturing to Sesshoumaru, who had shut his eyes, and thus shut out the world.

"Sound advice."

Kagome smiled, and nearly made a snide comment. Luckily, she caught herself before she opened her mouth and avoided what would most assuredly have been a nasty scene.

Toutousai fed her, and once the dishes had been cleared—Kagome had taken to washing them, still feeling guilty that she had taken the old man's bed—Toutousai called Kagome over to him.

"What do you need Ojii-san?" she asked, coming to stand before him.

"I ask only that you stand still for a few moments," the old demon said.

She sent him a puzzled look. Toutousai grabbed her by the wrists and lifted her arms up, telling her to hold them straight out, parallel to the ground. Her frown deepened, but she did as she was told. Next, the old man squatted down and poked her hip.

"This where your leg joins the rest of you?" he asked, jabbing sharply.

"OW!" She jumped away from him. "That hurt, damn it!"

"I told you to stand still!" Toutousai said in exasperation.

"Yeah, well, I didn't think you were going to give me the jab from hell!"

Toutousai sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Get back over here," he ordered irritably.

She eyed him suspiciously as she inched closer to Sesshoumaru's side. Toutousai had noticed that she tended to move closer to the demon lord when she perceived some kind of danger to her person was imminent. It was an odd reaction for a woman who professed her undying loathing, to all unfortunate enough to be within ear shot, of the man she was currently attempting to hide behind.

"Are you going to poke me again?" she asked, gaze narrow.

"I have no need," Toutousai replied, "as I have already ascertained the location of your hip. Now get back over here and hold still."

"You're asking the impossible, you know," Sesshoumaru murmured, eyes closed and head back against the wall.

Kagome shut her eyes and appeared to be talking to herself. After several seconds, she opened her eyes and plastered a smile on her face.

"Of course, Ojii-san."

She walked back over to him, the picture of dignity and decorum, and stood stock still before him while he measured her arms and legs. Toutousai happened to glance at Sesshoumaru and saw a ghost of a smile playing over the younger demon's mouth, and was astonished by the realization that Sesshoumaru had insulted Kagome into cooperation. He was so pleased and grateful that he decided to stop withholding the completed armor, which he had lied about after Sesshoumaru had whacked him over the head—and delivered a headache that hadn't abated until late the next day—for Toutousai belching at him.

"Your yoroi, Sesshoumaru," he said, holding out the armor and bowing low before the demon lord once he had finished taking Kagome's measurements.

Sesshoumaru opened one eye, then the other and leaned forward and took the armor. He looked it over, inspecting it carefully, then tried it on.

"Satisfactory," he pronounced at last, then took off the armor and set it down next to his pelt.

Toutousai bowed once more, then set his sight on Kagome once again. And once again, she hunched her shoulders and edged over to Sesshoumaru's side.

"What?" she asked warily.

Sesshoumaru opened an eye and found Kagome slowly backing away from Toutousai. It was such an odd reaction that he opened the other eye. There was something different about her retreat, as if she…. He frowned when he realized that her entire body was tense, poised as if to run. Now why in the world would she want to run? He looked over at Toutousai. Nothing unusual there: the crazy old bastard looked the same, nothing particularly threatening about him, aside from his stench.

Kagome made it to Sesshoumaru's side and seemed to relax a fraction. Sesshoumaru wondered at that, but wasn't given time to properly go over the miko's bizarre reaction:

"Now Kagome," Toutousai began in a reasonable voice, "I won't hurt you at all. I just need to put the last few touches on your katana, that's all."

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.

"Weren't you just starting on it this morning?" he pointed out, and out of the corner of his eye he saw her drop down next to him with a sigh of relief.

"Hai, but Kagome must first disable the handle before I can do anything else." Toutousai smiled.

"Huh?" she asked brilliantly from beside Sesshoumaru; he was in a similar frame of mind, though there was no power in this world that could have made him admit it. Perhaps not even in the next.

"I already began forging your blade—and, as a matter of fact, I knew exactly what I was going to do the second I remembered that miko's katana. I'm a swordsmith, after all," Toutousai sniffed importantly.

"That's not what I was confused about, Ojii-san," she returned. "Why do I have to disable the handle?"

Toutousai stared at her as if the answer should have been obvious.

"It'll purify me, that's why! What kind of question is that, anyway!"

Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru, who simply shrugged; he had no experience with miko weaponry aside from the traditional bow and arrow. She looked back to Toutousai.

"I don't get it—how have you been able to work with it—" she began.

"I haven't!" Toutousai returned. "It's been sitting back here for centuries gathering dust and annoying me!"

Kagome raised an eyebrow in excellent mimic of what Sesshoumaru had done only seconds before, but said nothing.

Toutousai rubbed his forehead, irritated.

"Just get over here," he grumbled.

"I'll purify you if you do anything I don't like," she warned, getting up and walking to the old demon's side.

Sesshoumaru knew for a fact that she was lying her head off. She was fond of the old man, though why was entirely beyond him. Only the fact that Toutousai still proved useful every now and again stayed Sesshoumaru's hand. Otherwise, he'd have slaughtered the swordsmith without a single regret.

When Toutousai brought out the old sword handle, Sesshoumaru's youki responded much as it had before: it gathered all around him, as if to protect his person. The handle's holy ki made his youki nervous in a way that Kagome's ki couldn't, and he knew it was because the miko's ki could only do him harm if she was able to gather and concentrate it in her hands. The handle's ki, on the other hand…that was something else altogether—all it needed was a miko to wield it.

This was a weapon, an instrument of death. There was an ominous edge to its energy that made him tense and wary. He stood and despite the fact that his youkai blood demanded that he remove either the threat or himself, he walked toward where Kagome and Toutousai sat.

"What am I supposed to do?" she was asking in exasperation.

"Disable the damn thing!" Toutousai snapped back; wave upon wave of nervousness was flowing off the old demon. Sesshoumaru couldn't blame him. The swordsmith was uncomfortably close to a holy weapon that was searching for a new master. The weapon had awakened from its slumber, lulled into "consciousness" by the proximity of a miko…the miko currently sitting before it.

"The ki is stronger," Sesshoumaru commented.

Kagome glanced up at him, surprised. "It is?" she asked.

He nodded. "It has awakened."

"'Awakened'? It's an inanimate object," she protested.

"Your ki has brought it out of dormancy," he said. "It wasn't fully quiescent—that's the only reason we were able to feel it when the old shit brought it out. It's been lying in wait, searching for a new master. It would appear that it has decided that you will do nicely."

She stared at him, stunned.

"What are you talking about?" she murmured. "The KATANA—or what's _left_ of it—has DECIDED to take me as its master?"

"Yes—now disable it," Toutousai demanded. He had leapt to his feet and was backing away from the handle.

Kagome turned stunned eyes to the swordsmith. But before she could ask him what was wrong, the handle began glowing. Kagome watched it, then slowly began rising and backing away from the table it was sitting on. The handle suddenly began to vibrate violently.

"Don't back away," Sesshoumaru quietly told her. He hadn't moved away, but Kagome had felt the dangerous spike in his youki. His discomfort was plain in the waves of energy rolling off him, but his face was as placid as water on a still day.

"What am I supposed to do?" she whispered, then flinched when the handle began vibrating even more violently than before. It was no longer softly glowing in shades of pink; the handle's aura had lightened to yellow, and Kagome was getting worried… because that was the color she glowed when Sesshoumaru's youki and her ki clashed.

"Pick it up," he replied, and she sent him a horrified look.

The handle glowed white and the thing actually shot up into the air and went straight for Sesshoumaru, as his youki was the most overpowering of the two demons currently in the cave.

Kagome's eyes widened and she immediately placed herself in front of the demon lord. The handle abruptly clattered to the floor at her feet, and its aura colored itself in shades of purple—not quite threatening, but not exactly welcoming either. Like a barrier.

"It's waiting for you to pick it up, Miko," Sesshoumaru said, and she jumped and looked around at him. He was watching her, and whatever he was thinking, it wasn't showing up on his face. She watched him uncertainly for several seconds, then sighed and, biting her lip, reached down slowly. Her hand hovered over the handle, and she wondered at her strange reluctance. It wasn't like the thing was going to hurt her. It had been a miko's weapon, and its ki was pure. Still…it had scared her that even broken and useless, the handle had tried to purify Sesshoumaru. She could just barely control her own ki—how was she going to control a handle with a mind of its own?

She steeled herself, and curled her fingers around the handle. It burst into white light again and Kagome felt a stinging sensation shoot up her arm. She felt pain lance through her bones and with a gasp she let the handle go and clutched her arm to her body. She fell backwards and landed hard on her backside, at Sesshoumaru's feet. In front of her, the handle glowed one more time and then its ki faded and then there was nothing but a broken handle and a sliver of rusty steel.

"Ow," Kagome managed through gritted teeth.

Toutousai came to her side and held out his hand. She shook her head, tears gathering in her eyes. The swordsmith looked up at the demon lord, watched him for several moments, then leaned over and picked up the now deactivated handle.

Sesshoumaru knelt down by the miko and reached out and grabbed the wrist of the hand she held so tightly against her body. She flinched and resisted, but he squeezed and her body jerked in pain. Her ki began gathering.

"Control your ki, Miko," he said, then turned her hand over and looked at the palm.

It was an angry red, almost as if the skin had been blistered off, but her skin was completely intact. It looked like a burn, but there was no smell. He checked the rest of her arm, up to her elbow. Nothing. Most curious.

"What was that?" she asked him when she had managed to both control her ki and her voice. It had been a difficult battle; he'd been acutely aware of the fluctuations of her ki as it had demanded a corresponding reply in his youki. Once again, he questioned the advisability of allying himself with his mortal enemy, particularly when she was ripe with so much potentially deadly power. And to think, he was going to assist her in tapping into that power—surely, this travesty was the work of the gods.

"That was your ki meeting the residual ki of the katana," Toutousai answered.

Sesshoumaru and Kagome stared at the old demon in shock.

"Residual?" Kagome asked, voice shaking. "RESIDUAL? Are you out of your fucking mind? There was nothing RESIDUAL about that!"

Toutousai was watching her, obviously surprised. Which only served to upset Kagome even more.

"I hate this place!" she yelled. "I've had nothing but bad luck since I got here! First Chuckles over here and his claws of doom, then the miko from hell, then the fever from hell, then another attack by Chuckles and now this piece of shit katana!"

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and the tenuous hold on her ki was slipping. Sesshoumaru had the good sense to release her and back away. "And everyone I gave a damn about is gone! I hate this place! I hate it I hate it I HATE IT!"

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Kagome was horrified at her own behavior, and that portion of her mind was begging her to stop. But she had held in too much, hadn't allowed herself to really mourn over Sango and Miroku, hadn't finished grieving over Inuyasha. It weighed heavily on her. She was physically and spiritually exhausted, and there seemed to be no end in sight. She had traveled as far as she could bear, and she was no nearer the conclusion than she'd been when she'd arrived. What else could the gods have in store for her? What else would she be made to endure?

Sesshoumaru watched the miko's breakdown in silence. He had felt a difference in her, had known that she had tried to shoulder her personal burdens and continue on. He also knew that what she was attempting to carry was far too heavy for her feeble frame. It was a wonder she had survived its weight this long.

Her ki was troubled and in turmoil. He felt it echoed in her soul. It was a deep wound she had sustained, far deeper than he had suspected. After all, Inuyasha had been a hanyou, only half youkai—completely worthless, in the end. There was no reason the miko should receive the news of his passing with so much pain. It had pained him very little. Mostly, it had disappointed and irritated him. Such a pointless, stupid death. Embarrassing, even. To have survived Naraku, and the greater power of his elder, full youkai brother…only to die at the hands of an old, dried-up well? It was pathetic.

And yet. There she was, heart bleeding as if mortally wounded. Pain, grief and guilt rolled off of her, waves upon waves. Her emotions were so raw they were upsetting him. He was not equipped to handle this kind of thing. And while he was loathe to admit it, there was one person nearby who was: Mamoru, the monk at the taijiya village.

Sesshoumaru steeled himself, then walked to where Kagome lay curled up in a ball on the ground, crying. He was going to regret this later; right how, he just wanted her to stop.

The demon lord leaned down, grabbed her by the shoulders and lifted her up off the ground. She grabbed hold of him, fists curling into his kimono, as if afraid of being dragged down into the abyss of her own inner disarray. She muffled the sounds of her pain against him. Sesshoumaru ignored her. At this moment, having his person abused in such a manner was less important than getting the miko to the monk. Once Mamoru had settled her, he could worry about the affront.

He turned and walked out of the cave. Toutousai watched him leave, watched him take to the sky. And the old swordsmith sighed and set his tools down. The air in his forge had never been so heavy.

"Grief's a funny thing," he murmured, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "Amazing that one feeling can do so much damage."

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Sesshoumaru touched down in the center of the village, then sniffed the air and, upon catching the monk's scent, turned and followed it to the hut he had entered just yesterday. He had not expected to return so soon. In fact, he had not expected to see this village again for some time; the last time he'd been here, Inuyasha had died…and Rin had joined him.

He scowled bitterly. It had been years since he had attached a name to the woman he had raised and then married off. To her own kind—the hell he would deliver her into the hands of a youkai and allow her to spawn a whole new generation of hanyous. Inuyasha had laughed cynically at him upon hearing that:

"You'll never change, will you?" he'd asked.

"I have no desire to," Sesshoumaru had returned, eyebrow raised.

Inuyasha chuckled darkly under his breath and shook his head. "No, I guess you're happy being an asshole, Onii-san."

He looked down at the woman he held, cursed her silently. It was her fault. She reminded him of that little girl. Rin had been soft too, and achingly, horribly human, in the end. Sesshoumaru looked down at Kagome again. Damnedable woman—she made him remember things best lost to time.

He walked to the monk's hut, didn't bother announcing himself. He simply ducked through the portal, shouldering the reed flap out of his way. He found the monk seated at the fire pit, watching him. His face was set in grim lines. Upon seeing the miko, his features hardened. Sesshoumaru watched him, unimpressed.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," the monk said. "It's rather late for a visit, wouldn't you agree?"

Sesshoumaru didn't answer. Kagome's hands clenched involuntarily and she buried her face against him. He stiffened, irritated by the contact, by her emotions and the smell of her tears. She had managed to wreak complete havoc with his youki and composure, had managed to upset his inner youkai in a way it had never been upset before. He disliked her sudden ability to so completely affect him. And it all came down to pain. It was a basic feeling, a feeling his inner youkai could grasp, a feeling his inner beast could relate to, and hers went too deeply to ignore.

"Repair her," he said quietly.

The monk flinched, his face slackening into surprise. "'Repair her'?" he parroted. "Repair what?"

"She mourns for the hanyou. For your parents."

Mamoru's face went blank. His eyes went to the miko in Sesshoumaru's arms. A vague shadow of sad sympathy swept through them before they went blank again.

"I cannot repair Kagome-sama, Sesshoumaru-sama. No more than you can. She must heal herself." Mamoru quietly said.

"Then give her the means, monk. She is useless to me otherwise."

The monk's face hardened.

"Even after all this time, you can find no compassion in you for the suffering of others?" he demanded. "Even with all you've endured—"

Sesshoumaru's warning growl stopped him.

"Do not speak of things you do not know," he ground out lowly, voice rough and dangerous.

The two glared at each other in silence. Then Mamoru rose.

"Come, follow me," he said, walking past the demon lord, outside.

After a pause, Sesshoumaru followed.

He felt the eyes of the taijiya on him, watching him. He ignored them. Kagome had quieted, but she was still crying. He could smell the salt-water, feel the hitching breaths that spoke of it. Her ki was still in an uproar, too. She moved in his arms, reaching up to take hold of his shoulders, burying her face in the crook of his neck. His lips thinned; the sooner the monk took charge of her, the better. He didn't know how long he would be able to endure this indignity.

They left the taijiya village and walked into the surrounding forest. It was dark and the monk had not brought a lamp or torch, but he seemed to know the way. They reached a break in the trees, and Sesshoumaru caught a faint whiff of incense. There was a little shrine house here—he clearly saw the low building and the gently sloping roof.

"We built it for our parents," Mamoru said quietly, stopping. He glanced over his shoulder at Sesshoumaru. "I believe this might do her some good."

Sesshoumaru tried to set the miko down. Her arms tightened their hold on him. Frowning, he tried again to get her the hell off him. And again she refused to be set down, this time wrapping her legs around his hips and squeezing. It was embarrassing, to say the least, and made the monk's eyebrows inch up, speculative.

"Woman, let go of me this instant or I will do it for you," Sesshoumaru ordered furiously from behind gritted teeth.

"Don't leave me alone," she begged from the crook of his neck, her words muffled and voice thick. He heard her perfectly, however. And the request gave him pause. What was this fear she seemed to have of being alone? And why had she decided that he should be the one to keep her company?

"You will not be alone," he replied, tugging at her arms. She tightened her grip yet again and he sighed wearily. If he didn't need her power so very very much….

"I don't want to be alone," she said. "Please stay."

"Hell," Sesshoumaru muttered bad-temperedly. He sighed again, quietly, to himself. _What have I done to deserve this?_

"You will not be alone, Miko," he said quietly, forcing himself to keep his temper in check. "If you will let go of my person, this Sesshoumaru will stay."

Again, he was reminded, forcibly, of Rin. Growing up, it had sometimes been necessary to bargain with the girl to gain her cooperation. He ruthlessly dismissed the memories trying to claim him, and cleared his mind of everything save getting the miko off of him.

"Promise?" she asked, voice sad and broken. It struck a chord in him, against his will. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Why was he being punished in this life? Wasn't retribution exacted in the next world?

"Hai," he growled.

Nothing for several minutes, and then her legs unwound from his hips and her arms loosened their grip. She slid down the front of him; Sesshoumaru took hold of her arms and helped her down the rest of the way. She didn't move away from him immediately. Instead, she stood before him, head bowed. Every now and again, a shudder would wrack that fragile human body, and her hands would clench into his kimono.

He removed her clammy hands from his clothing, then let his arms drop to his sides and watched her. She finally raised her head and looked up at him.

She looked as destroyed as the day he'd found her. He tilted his head to one side as he watched her. She looked like a stranger; if he'd been deprived of his sense of smell, he never would have been able to tell it was the same irritating chit that had traveled with Inuyasha. Her eyes were wet, and the tears she'd shed shone brightly on her cheeks in the faint moonlight. The more intense emotions were leaving her, being replaced with sorrow and regret. It made him sad without knowing why.

She turned and found Mamoru, who stepped forward and took her hand. She gripped it tightly, as if afraid of losing him. As if he was the only thing grounding her and she was desperate not to lose her anchor. It was the same way she'd been holding onto him, frantic, frightened.

Sesshoumaru sighed and closed his eyes. This was far more than he'd bargained for. He knew nothing of healing, only of destroying. It was his lot in life—his own name announced it to all who heard it. It was in his nature, in his personality, to annihilate. And now, he was supposed to mend what had been sundered? Imagine: in order to destroy, he, Sesshoumaru, must first heal.

How very strange Fate could be.


	9. Purity

**Hurricanes-4,000; Florida-0**: Ah, hurricanes—one of the perks of living in Florida. They're right up there with mosquitoes and the West Nile virus, and 90º+ weather. I totally need to get the hell out of here, but I have relatives in other states, or issues with the weather in the rest of the country, so I think I'm screwed. Sigh. So much for that solution. Anyway: sorry about the delay, but things were sort of out of my hands, and I didn't get my power back until a few days ago. A word of advice: if you ever get the opportunity to live without power for days and days and days…DON'T. At least we're lucky that we got hit in October instead of August. And aside from some tree and plant and roof shingle fatalities, everyone in my neighborhood was okie dokie. But that's enough of that—moving along: Odious and Kamira, thanks. I'm glad you (and every one else who dropped in, hopefully) enjoyed chpt 8, even if it was insanely long. This one won't kill you (I trust), just eighteen pages. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I don't like it as much as I like chpt 8, but I don't hate it either. It's just sort of…there. Oh well, I can't fiddle with it anymore, or I _will_ hate it, so here it is, chpt 9, in all it's ambivalent glory.

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Disclaimer: I…dude, do I really even _need_ to do this at this point?

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Words To Know: 

No vocab this week. : ).

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**Chapter Nine: Purity**

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_Humble and helpless,_

_I'm learning to pray,_

_Praying for visions,_

_To show me the way…_

"Thomas"/ A Perfect Circle

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Kagome collapsed on the floor of the shrine and sobbed.

Mamoru had escorted her into the building, then let himself out, saying he would wait for her outside, that she could take as much time as she liked. She doubted it, not with Sesshoumaru out there.

She had stopped being rational a long time ago. Even so, she was still, on some level, astonished by the breakdown she was in the middle of. This was so…devastating. So terrifying. She felt as though her mind had splintered, like her heart. How had she been able to ignore these feelings for so long?

A long time later, exhausted but not even close to feeling better, she managed to roll over onto her back and stare up at the ceiling.

"I'm losing my mind," she said to herself, almost choking on her own voice. "I'm going to go insane here, and no will be able to help me." She closed her eyes. "I don't belong here." she whispered. It was the first time she'd ever admitted that out loud. Always, it had echoed in the darker corners of her mind, a worry only half realized and totally ignored. Just as she had disregarded outside insistence that she didn't belong here. First from Inuyasha. And then from Kikyou….

_"You do not belong here, _girl_," Kikyou said coldly._

_It was just the two of them, alone in the woods. They had never quite reached an accord. It was hard to, at least for Kagome. After all, they were sharing a soul; that Kagome had most of it was beside the point. They were still sharing it. Obviously, the natural order of things did not permit for two individuals to share a soul at the same time, so one of them belonged here, in Sengoku Jidai, and one did not. It was just a question of who._

_Technically, Kikyou was not a part of this world. She was dead, a clay pot. An empty shell running on the most malicious scraps of her former self. That she had died wrongly, before her true time, even, only fed the darker aspects of her bit of soul, only deepened her bitterness and sense of betrayal._

_And yet, neither was Kagome. She was the reincarnation, a girl not of this time, but of one five hundred years in the future. She didn't speak the lingo and didn't follow the rules. _

_Still. Someone had to be right. Which meant someone had to be wrong._

_"Maybe," Kagome had been willing to concede, because that was the way she was. "But I'm still here."_

_The dead miko said nothing in return. Her facial features only hardened further. They stood in silence, staring at each other. Trying to decide who was right. Trying to decide who was wrong. And wondering if they would ever be able to accept the outcome, when it came. For all their differences, the sense that they were trespassing in territory where neither was welcome was something common in two women who looked the same but were at opposite ends of the spectrum._

_"Kikyou," Kagome said softly, after a time, "please don't make Inuyasha follow you to hell."_

This_ was a real and true sticking point between them._

_"He has given me his word," Kikyou immediately returned, voice hard and icy._

_Kagome watched her sadly. She was beginning to realize that they would never reach any kind of agreement on the matter of Inuyasha. Not when the miko couldn't let go. And certainly not when the girl from the well couldn't understand her own soul…._

Kagome drifted back into consciousness. She became aware of her surroundings, but didn't open her eyes. She remembered that confrontation. In the end, nothing had been decided there, on that night. Kikyou had simply left. Inuyasha had followed after her for a time, then come back. And Kagome had died a little more inside, because even though she'd accepted that Kikyou would always be a part of Inuyasha, that didn't change the fact that she loved him. Not too long thereafter, Naraku had finally gotten rid of the last vestiges of Onigumo, and he had shattered Kikyou into the dust she had once been.

In front of Inuyasha.

Kagome didn't remember what had happened after that, because the bit of her soul that had nourished Kikyou for so long had come back to her. The reunion had not been a happy or easy one, and the last thing Kagome remembered of the day Kikyou had "died" was a blast of colors and her eyes rolling into the back of her head. When she had next awakened, Sango had been cradling her on Kirara's back, her friend white with terror as they sped toward Edo and Kaede-baa-chan. Spotty, hazy half-memories followed, and then Inuyasha's face looming before hers, amber eyes unblinking and heartsick, face tight and scared.

They had defeated Naraku in their next encounter with the evil hanyou. Kagome cracked open her eyelids and saw the ceiling. She stared up at it, eyes half open. How long had she been here? After a long while, she attempted a shrug, then decided that was too much trouble. Who cared, after all? There was no one left to, anymore.

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_"Your brat's had her first pup, huh?"_

_Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow at the smirking hanyou before him._

_"That's what the missive said," he returned, holding the parchment out to Inuyasha. His younger brother took it, scanned it, grunted. Then he looked up at his elder brother._

_"I guess that makes you a grandpa, ne Onii-san?" he asked with a dark chuckle._

_Sesshoumaru sent him a glare, snapped the parchment out of his hands and tucked it back into the sleeve of his kimono._

_"Hardly," he sneered._

_Inuyasha laughed. "I can see the little bastard now—'Hey Ojii-san, show me_ _your Dokkasou_ _again'." He eyed his brother, his expression sobering. "He's not a bad-looking brat, Sesshoumaru. For a weak human."_

_The youkai lord's eyes flickered over to the hanyou standing with him in the light snow._

_"You've seen this child?"_

_Inuyasha nodded, hands in his haori. He suddenly went rigid, eyes widening. He looked around, then seemed to realize something and chuckled quietly to himself._

_"Scenting ghosts, Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru asked dryly._

_"Something like that," the younger man admitted, his eyes distant and unfocused. "Caught a whiff of something. Thought I recognized the scent of someone I used to know." His vision cleared and he shrugged, smiling self-deprecatingly. "Wrong person."_

_Sesshoumaru was silent. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened in front of him. Somehow, he knew it was that foolish human girl who used to journey with Inuyasha. Somehow, he knew it was her scent, her ghost, that haunted the hanyou. Rin had told him, once during one of her inane ramblings, that it was so, but he'd known before that._

_"Of course you confused the scent," Sesshoumaru scoffed, "you have the inferior hanyou sense of smell."_

_"Self-righteous bastard," Inuyasha muttered under his breath. He sent Sesshoumaru a withering glare. "Go visit your brat, _Ojii-san_."_

_Sesshoumaru sent his brother a look that told him, in no uncertain terms, that he would deal with the insult at a later date. Inuyasha only smiled smugly._

_"You know where to find me," he said._

_"A human could find you—you smell atrocious," Sesshoumaru shot back, turning his back and walking away._

_"Fuck you Sesshoumaru."_

_The youkai lord didn't reply. He glanced back once. Inuyasha was still there, watching him. He looked more alone than Sesshoumaru could ever remember seeing him. It was an odd, stark realization. The gloomy sky and bitter weather only emphasized it. Instead of looking defiant, Inuyasha looked small…abandoned, even. He nearly asked the hanyou to accompany him. Before he could, his brother turned and began walking away, back to his village and his tree and his well. And his ghost._

Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and frowned.

What in the world had triggered that? It was so random…. His eyes went to the shrine and narrowed. The monk was sitting on the shallow veranda. There was no sign of the miko. He sent his youki out, searching for the miko's ki. He frowned when his youki finally brushed up against it and drew back, wary. Instead of brushing back or trying to push his youki away, however, her ki merely stayed docile, offering no resistance or alarm. His youki nudged again. Nothing. His frown deepened. Just what in the seven hells was going on in that foul-smelling little box, anyway?

He once again nudged her ki with his youki, found that it had receded quite a bit since his last nudge. Almost to the point of dormancy. It made him tense up, and moved him to rise and glide over the grass toward the shrine. The monk lifted his head at the demon lord's approach.

Sesshoumaru stopped at the veranda, his expression dark.

"Monk, what of the miko," he said quietly.

A corner of Mamoru's mouth lifted. "She's finding her way, Sesshoumaru-sama," he said quietly. "Let her."

Sesshoumaru lifted a disbelieving brow. "And incense will assist her in this endeavor?" he asked, voice biting.

Mamoru eyed him for a long while in silence.

He was more than a little astonished that the youkai lord had sought him out to deal with the miko. Just what the connection was between them was still unclear. He thought it might have something to do with the recent rumblings in the west. For their part, the taijiya village had had a rough time indeed when an army of youkai had cut a wide swath of blood and destruction through this part of the country six years earlier. The countryside was only just now recovering. But that was another story.

The whys didn't intrigue him as much as the odd way the miko and the youkai handled each other. They acted like children, frankly. Neither seemed able to quite stand the other. Fate had thrown them together, and it was obvious that they resented the circumstances and company. Kagome-sama seemed to swing between indignation and acceptance; the youkai lord's feelings were less clear, though it was fairly obvious he was having trouble keeping his thoughts free of murder.

Tonight had been different. There was no change to Sesshoumaru-sama's feelings. He had handled the miko with great care despite his irritation with her, but Mamoru knew that the taiyoukai, except for the occasional scrape, was careful to never give the miko the full force of his power and strength. He was well aware of the fragility of humanity, after all.

It was the miko who had changed. When Mamoru had seen her, she had been desperately clinging to the taiyoukai. It was a shock, especially when one considered the usual tenor of her interaction with Sesshoumaru-sama, where a humming violent undercurrent was always present. It was the first time he had seen her _need_ the youkai lord who seemed to cause her so much discomfort and trouble. And it was astonishing that she would need _him_, of all people.

"No," Mamoru finally corrected, "contemplation will. Meditation will. And only by being left alone, to sort through the confusion, will she find her way." He sighed and glanced over his shoulder, at the shrine. "It is a painful process when one is so full of grief."

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_So much trouble, and all for the little pink ball of glass in her hands._

_Kagome eyed the completed Shikon no Tama. And waited for that feeling of accomplishment, that feeling of having done good, to hit her. That feeling that the world had changed. It didn't come._

_She looked up at the sky. It seemed lighter somehow, more radiant. She noticed for the first time that the whole world looked a little brighter, that some kind of previously imperceptible veil seemed to have been lifted. Had Naraku's influence really reached so far as to defile the sky and dull the world? She wouldn't have doubted it, if only because he had just been so malevolent. Certainly, something so foul would thus pollute everything around it, even Nature itself. It was a miko's job—her job—to purify what had been tainted. And even knowing she had decontaminated the world didn't make her feel any different than she had for the past two years. It was so anti-climatic, after everything that had happened. Almost an after-thought._

_She had left the others at Kaede-baa-chan's hut and walked to Goshinboku. It was her turn now. Inuyasha and his brother had battled Naraku, but she and Inuyasha had delivered the death blow, he with Tessaiga and she with a purified arrow. It had been_ _fitting. The evil demon destroyed by two of the individuals he'd cursed, even if Kagome was really only standing in for Kikyou. Still, her soul was Kikyou's._

_Sango and Miroku had attended to Kohaku, removed the shard from him. Sango had held her brother's hand and sobbed while he died. It had taken some convincing and soothing from both Miroku and Kagome to get her to let go of her brother's body. Then Sesshoumaru had stepped forward. He and Inuyasha had exchanged their usual pleasantries during the battle against Naraku, fighting each other as much as they fought their enemy. The demon lord had cocked his head and eyed the dead boy, then drew forth Tenseiga. The sword had begun glowing. Steel whistled through air. Then Kohaku's eyes were opening, and Sango was crying again and Sesshoumaru was sheathing his inheritance, face as blank as ever._

_Kagome had thanked his retreating back. He hadn't replied. And she hadn't minded, knowing that her thanks didn't matter to him. They had seen him later, his retainer and ward in tow. Rin had scampered forward, greeted them all cheerfully, then handed Kohaku a sorry clutch of flowers. Kagome wondered where, in all this vast ugliness, the girl had been able to find them._

_"Sesshoumaru-sama said you were feeling better now," she chirped happily._

_Kohaku looked at the silent demon, then back to Rin and nodded._

_"Arigatou, Rin-chan," he said._

_The girl smiled, then bowed, said her goodbyes and returned to her master's side. Sesshoumaru was already walking away._

_"Asshole," Inuyasha muttered._

_Kagome sent him a weary frown. "He helped us, Inuyasha," she reminded him._

_Inuyasha snorted, but didn't say anything else._

_They had returned to Edo, the completed Shikon no Tama hanging around Kagome's neck. But instead of being happy it was all over, they had been curiously subdued. There was an uncomfortable question hanging over the group demanding an answer: what happened next? It was an inquiry for which no one had a rejoinder._

_So now she sat under Goshinboku, staring at the afternoon sky and contemplating her part in this intricate little drama of Fate's. She was a miko. The Shikon no Tama, by virtue of being in her predecessor's possession, was her responsibility. And the only way to make it disappear, to free Midoriko from it and free the world of it, was to wish on it. Seemed simple enough…right, just like everything else in her life for the past two years._

_What happened next? What should she wish for?_

_"Oi."_

_She looked up and found Inuyasha watching her, looking vaguely annoyed. She smiled at him._

_"Hi," she said brightly._

_He rolled his eyes, walked to where she was sitting and plopped down on the grass next to her._

_"Wench, what are you doing?" he asked, his irritation in full evidence._

_She sighed and held up the Shikon no Tama. "Trying to wish upon an earthly star," she replied, frowning._

_He snorted. There was no gruffness to the action, however. Instead, they watched the jewel in silence, staring at it as that damnedable question hovered over them._

_"Weird, isn't it?" she asked at long last._

_"What is?" Inuyasha returned, looking at her._

_"We've been running all over Japan for the last two years, trying to put this thing together. And now that it is together…I don't know…I feel like something's missing. I feel like I should be…I don't know." She finally shrugged helplessly. "I can't explain it."_

_The half-demon beside her didn't reply. For once._

_"Now what?" he asked a long time later, breaking the heavy silence that had settled over them. Both were aware that he seemed to be repeating the question that pressed over them, that hung over them as horribly as Naraku's miasma._

_"I don't know," she admitted, because that was the way she was. "But we'll figure it out."_

Kagome drifted back to consciousness.

The incense, she decided, looking around blearily. The incense was making her sleepy or loopy or something.

She managed to get on her hands and knees before her exhausted body threatened to give out and send her sprawling to the floor. She scrubbed her hands over her face, wiping away the tears that had been flowing from her shut eyes. She hadn't thought of the day she had made her wish in years. It was simply too painful for her. She had made her wish in Kaede-baa-chan's hut, her home from home, with Sango, Miroku, Shippou, Kirara, Obaa-chan, and Inuyasha there. She had opened her eyes, watched along with everyone else as the Shikon no Tama disappeared in a blast of colored light right before their eyes. She had shared a relieved smile with Inuyasha. And then she had been shooting through space and time, going too fast to see where the hell she was or where the hell she was going. And _then_…. Then, she had opened her eyes and found herself lying at the bottom of the Bone-Eater's Well. A look up had confirmed that she was in her own time.

She sighed, sat back on her bottom and drew her legs to her chest wearily, laying her forehead on her knees.

"I didn't get to say good-bye," she murmured. It was something that had haunted her these past ten years. She had not been given the chance to bid her friends farewell before Fate had decided that her purpose was complete in this era and her presence was no longer necessary. Couldn't she have been allowed that much, if she couldn't stay with Inuyasha?

Some way or another, Kagome found herself talking. To whom wasn't clear at first. She just suddenly became aware of the fact that she was talking. When she looked up, she saw what she had been too grief-stricken to notice: there were candles burning, lit for Miroku and Sango. And she realized that this was a shrine to her friends. And she suddenly knew who she was talking to.

"I'm so sorry you guys," she said quietly, crawling forward to rest her forehead against the edge of the little table holding the candles and incense. She sat down and closed her eyes. "I wanted to get back here so bad and see you. But the well wouldn't let me through until now. I don't know why. I almost wish I hadn't come back. Then I'd still be able to think you were still alive."

She talked, first to Sango, then to Miroku, then to both of them. About the village and their children…and then about Inuyasha. She talked until her voice gave out, and then she just sat with her forehead against the table's edge. She had lost all semblance of time. She had even forgotten that Sesshoumaru was supposed to be waiting for her.

In time, she fell asleep. She didn't dream or go over the past. She simply slept. And while she did, she was half-aware that the world around her seemed to shift a little, and she didn't feel quite so alone anymore.

It was good to just sleep.

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Sesshoumaru took Mamoru's seat on the veranda when one of the monk's relatives called him back to the taijiya village. The demon lord hadn't heard the details, seeing as he didn't care, but he had heard the word "exorcism" mentioned. It was just as well. Sesshoumaru preferred his own company.

He sniffed the air. Still just incense. He scowled. The stuff was beginning to get on his nerves. And once more, because he had gotten into the habit as the night had turned to day, he sent his youki out in search of the miko's ki. Again, he got no response. It was present, but unresponsive. He wouldn't have called it calm, exactly, just sort of… slumbering. In a state of stasis, if you will. He sniffed the incense-tinged air once more, and wondered again just what in the hell was in that incense that it should so drastically induce the miko's chaotic ki into dormancy. He had heard of soothing the soul, but this was ridiculous.

He leaned against the well-tended shrine and shut his eyes. Toutousai had been by the taijiya village, asking about them. Sesshoumaru had heard him, though faintly; the trees distorted sounds, made it necessary for him to strain his hearing to catch what was being said. The swordsmith was lucky he hadn't decided to investigate Kagome's condition for himself. Sesshoumaru held him completely and utterly responsible for the miko's present state, although he knew, on some level, that he was being foolish. He didn't care. He had been subjected to the woman's grief and it was an experience he fervently wished he had never been witness or party to.

"Humans," he muttered to himself. "So ragged and fallible."

He chose to ignore the fact that, despite all appearances, he was no less fallible.

He had just drifted into deep sleep when something nudged his youki. He was too far gone to awaken, however, and he didn't quite notice the nudge.

His youki retreated, recognizing the purity of the energy as that belonging to a miko. The ki also retreated, then tentatively nudged his youki again. His youki nudged back, curious by the holy ki's benign, almost friendly, gesture. They nudged back and forth before allowing each other, warily, to venture closer. In time, the two opposite energies found a sort of peaceful state of co-existence, intertwining, rather connecting, like two halves of a whole.

Sesshoumaru slept on. And while he did, he was half-aware that the world around him seemed to shift a little, and he didn't feel quite so alone anymore.

It was good to just sleep.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Mamoru stopped at the edge of the forest and watched the shrine. Sesshoumaru-sama was still there, guarding the little memorial and the unhappy young woman inside. He wondered how Kagome-sama was fairing, but he didn't dare venture further. He felt the youkai lord's youki at work and he was hesitant to disturb him, particularly since Sesshoumaru-sama had not exactly been a paradigm of sociability when the monk had taken his leave earlier to deal with an exorcism in the village not far from the taijiya village.

The old monk sighed and smiled ruefully. He had had a mostly cordial association with Sesshoumaru-sama for the last twenty-two years, having learned how best to deal with the taiyoukai and keep the village safe from his wrath. Since his father's death, he had taken up the formal title of village headman, being the eldest son. But he had actually been handling everything that being headman entailed, from disputes between relatives to missives—or worse but thankfully rare, visits—from the youkai currently ensconced on the veranda of his parents' shrine, since the death of his mother and the subsequent depression of his father. Officially, Miroku had held the title; his eldest son had done the actual work. Mamoru had never held it against his father. The man had lost his wife, his life's partner. It was to be expected that he would have other concerns.

Mamoru sighed once more and then made his decision. As anxious as he was to check up on Kagome-sama, there was Sesshoumaru-sama to consider. And Mamoru did not want to jeopardize the polite agreement the taijiya village had made with the youkai lord all those long years ago.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Sesshoumaru slowly became aware of the world around him.

He opened his eyes and, first and foremost, searched for enemies lurking anywhere nearby. Finding nothing worth particular note or alarm, he breathed deeply. And instantly regretted it when he inhaled a good bit of incense. The peaceful mood he'd awakened in died as he cursed under his breath.

The day was ending, the sun sinking below the horizon, and the miko still hadn't come out or made a sound; the last thing he'd heard was the quiet murmur of her voice as she spoke. She was speaking too softly for him to catch what she was saying, which in the end was just as well. He already thought she made no sense. There was no need for proof.

As had become his habit, he sent his youki out in search of the miko's ki. And was stunned when, upon finding it and nudging it, her ki nudged back. His youki immediately pulled back and away. Sesshoumaru sat and waited for the miko's ki to nudge his youki. When it didn't, he frowned. Apparently, that had been a warning that she wished to be left alone. At the very least, it was a sign that she was aware of who was in the vicinity; he doubted very much that her ki would have reacted so meekly with the youki of a strange youkai.

It would seem he had more waiting ahead of him.

Kagome's eyes shot open when she felt the chill brush of youki along her spine; it had taken her a second to realize who was making the contact. Her ki responded of its own accord, but Kagome made sure to keep it in check. Then, she leaned back and looked around, rubbing her forehead.

Falling asleep against a table edge was not a good idea, she reflected absently as she looked around.

The candles were burning down, and the incense had burned out. Its scent hung thickly in the air. She sniffed delicately. There was definitely something in the incense, she decided, scooting back from the table.

"What the hell is in that stuff?" she murmured. She made a mental note to ask Mamoru. After thanking him for his help, such as it were.

She sighed, still tired and now sore, so she laid down on her side on the cool wood floor, head pillowed by her arm and watched the immaculate little table that held the two candles burning for her friends, and two incense burners. The little shrine house was a little over-warm, but comforting. It rather reminded her of her home.

She was surprised when she didn't feel the overwhelming wave of homesickness that had often assailed her in the past when she had gone through the well. Which was not to say that she didn't miss her family, she did. But the feeling wasn't as overpowering as it had once been. Kagome smiled wanly.

She had never quite felt as though she fit in her own era. It was a weird lurch in the back of her mind at odd moments, when she was at school or hanging out with her friends, or even at home, surrounded by her mother and brother and grandfather. It was a lurch that had grown stronger every time she returned from Sengoku Jidai. And once the well had stopped working, it was a full-blown itch, a certainty that despite being born in the Modern Era, she didn't belong there.

Then again, she had never quite felt at home here either. Even after Kikyou had "died" and the last bit of the soul they shared had been returned to her, Kagome had still felt like a stranger. Technically, she was. But, come on, two years later? Surely she would have felt…_something_.

Kagome had been unhappy for a long time. She knew she didn't belong where she was, but she didn't know where she should be. She didn't have a place. It was scary, not knowing where you belonged. It was a necessity for humanity, having a place, a niche, a role to fill, a purpose. Kagome had no idea what her role was. She thought it might have something to do with being a miko. Beyond that, she didn't know. It sucked having the tools but not the blueprints, she decided.

She sighed, rolled onto her back and groaned. It occurred to her that this was a shrine, and she really shouldn't be laying on the floor as though it were her bed, but she figured her old friends wouldn't mind. In fact, had they been there with her, they probably would have insisted she lay down.

Kagome smiled. Sango would be watching her like a hawk, concern obvious in every line of her face. Miroku would be sitting near by, exuding confidence and serenity, and sneaking worried glances when he thought she wasn't looking. Hell, it was almost like they were there with her. She closed her eyes and she could just picture them. It felt good. As the years had passed, she had grown more and more troubled when it seemed her memory of her friends was fading, not quite able to remember the exact color of Sango's eyes or the tenor of Miroku's voice. But here, she could see them quite vividly.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Sesshoumaru spent yet another night at the shrine. It did nothing to improve his disposition.

Mamoru had come and gone. He had stayed long enough to ask if Kagome had come out or contacted him at all, and to learn that the demon lord's foul mood had declined further. The monk had been obviously hesitant to interrupt his stewing, and a small part of Sesshoumaru couldn't blame him. A larger, less generous part of him had no trouble.

The monk had offered him some food. He had succinctly rejected it. He now wondered if he hadn't been too hasty. Surely, that insufferable woman was going to need some form of nourishment when she decided she had wasted enough of his time. It wouldn't do to have her starving herself—humans were dependant on regular meals for their continued survival. And as annoying as he found her, Sesshoumaru needed the miko to survive long enough to purify the hell out of the bastard he had been fighting for the past eight years. What she did to herself after that was of no concern to him.

He opened his eyes and stared sightlessly out into the night. The moon was obscured by clouds tonight. Just one more thing to aggravate him. And he asked himself, for the first time in many years, just what it was the gods wanted of him. What was the purpose of this trial he was being put through?

He didn't have a clue as to what the answer could be, and it bothered him. The last time he'd been this lost had—

Sesshoumaru stiffened and abruptly ended the thought. No good would come of that particular avenue of pondering this night. Particularly since it had relevance to the woman who held him here, against his will. He sighed and rubbed his temple. There were moments when being inu youkai were most inconvenient.

"Damnedable honor," he muttered. He became annoyed with himself when he realized he was talking to no one. Gods above, was he catching that messy human's uncouth habits?

He sighed, folded his arms into his sleeves and engaged his mind in planning a new strategy against his bastard enemy involving the miko. That lasted all of two seconds.

He was feeling restless, was unable to concentrate. It irked him, and he silently blamed the miko. Whether or not it was truly any fault of hers didn't matter at the moment. He figured it might as well be, since they had just wasted all this time. Toutousai would have been done with her sword by now, and perhaps with her armor. They could have continued on their way west. They could have progressed farther along in her kenjutsu.

He was suddenly aware of another presence, and he lifted his head and sniffed. And sighed to himself when he recognized the monk.

"Hell," he muttered. Wasn't it enough that he had been in continued contact with these people for the last four days? Must he suffer their company at night as well?

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Mamoru said quietly, bowing.

Sesshoumaru inclined his head but remained stubbornly silent.

The monk watched him for several seconds, then smiled thinly, without humor.

"Please bring Kagome-sama to my sister's hut when she comes out, Sesshoumaru-sama. She will be needing food."

Sesshoumaru nodded, and watched the monk leave, then leaned his head against the shrine wall and shut his eyes. He didn't sleep, not after the nap he'd had during the day. He still had no idea why he'd slept so well. These days, he didn't sleep unless exhaustion demanded it of him. Not that that had been any different than before he'd become embroiled in this war. It was just easier to accomplish now. Worry and constant alert had a way of wearing at one's reserves.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

For the first time in ten years, Kagome meditated.

It had been effortless in this dark little building, with incense hanging thickly in the atmosphere, where the air was uncomfortably warm and heavy.

And when she opened her eyes and looked at the table where the two little candles for her friends that had finally flickered out hours ago sat, cold, she felt a measure of peace that had been missing from her life since the day she had fallen into Sengoku Jidai. She had not stumbled upon any great truths locked away from the world. She had simply realized that she needed to take control and walk forward.

She unfolded her legs and pushed herself up to stand, only to feel the room spin. She hit the floor and shut her eyes, suddenly aware of her pounding head and shaking body. Uh-oh. She groaned—so much for walking forward.

Sesshoumaru heard the miko crash into the floor and raised an eyebrow.

What in the seven hells was the mad woman doing now? He heard her groan and despite himself, felt a little flicker of alarm. Shit. She hadn't gotten sick again, had she?

_She probably would, just to spite me,_ he thought to himself as he rose and went to the doors. The monk had told him to let the miko come out on her own accord. Well, from the sound of it, she was going to be needing some help.

He opened the doors and was immediately assaulted by the too-warm air saturated with the scent of incense. He stepped out of the way, nose going crazy. He gritted his teeth, silently cursed his lineage once more, then forced himself to step inside the shrine.

He saw her immediately. She was curled up in a ball on her side, hands cradling her head.

"Miko?" he asked, walking to her.

She groaned. "I feel like shit," she said.

His lips twitched. Not quite what he was expecting, given that she had just spent the better part of two days in a shrine, but definitely a Kagome thing to say.

"Smell like it too," he drawled.

She slowly moved her head to look up at him. Her face was pale and there were bruises under her eyes. She looked like a ghost. A ghost with red-rimmed, blood-shot eyes. But she was glaring up at him. It was a truly priceless moment, to say the least.

"I hate you."

"I know."

She sighed. Inwardly, he smirked. And wondered when the exchange had become a game.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Damned if he didn't have to carry her back to the taijiya village.

Sesshoumaru had resigned himself to his fate when, upon tugging the miko upright, she had stumbled back against him and held on for dear life. The woman was forever touching him or otherwise assaulting his person. It was most disconcerting, to say the least.

"What now?" he asked wearily.

"I'm sorry," she said, sounding truly contrite. A first, that. "I'm just really, really dizzy."

"I noticed," he remarked, grabbing her arm before she pitched forward with his kimono firmly clenched in one little fist.

She groaned. "This sucks," she whined.

"Miko…shut up."

He picked her up and ducked out of the shrine.

"Close the doors!" she blurted in a panic, her grip on his kimono tightening.

He sent her an icy glare. She fixed him with sad, pleading eyes. His chest tightened at the expression, the feeling unwelcome and astonishing.

"What are you doing?" he asked, even though he knew exactly what she was doing—she was watching him with what Rin had called "puppy eyes." His chest tightened further.

"Sesshoumaru, please close the doors. It's a shrine."

He looked away from her, ruthlessly annihilated the ache that rose in him. Gods above, even half a century later this malady cursed him?

"If I shut the doors will you quit that idiotic staring?" he asked from behind gritted teeth.

She nodded. He sighed inwardly. Outwardly, he never changed expression. He used one hand to shut the shrine doors, then turned and began toward the village. It was late afternoon, and most of the taijiya were either back at the community dojo or off in their fields, tending to whatever it was they grew to sustain themselves.

The miko leaned against him. He stiffened; he had allowed her that when she had been emotionally distraught because there was little chance she would have been able to understand his command to let go of him. But, from what he could sense of her, she was quite all right now.

"Sesshoumaru?" she asked when he would have ordered her to stop abusing his charity or risk ending up on the ground.

He bit back a growl of frustration. "What is it Miko?" he returned, letting some of his bad temper leak into his voice in the hopes that it would dissuade her.

The gods weren't so kind:

"Arigatou."

He stopped, stared straight ahead, puzzled.

"For what?" he asked finally, voice emotionless.

"For staying. I know I'm a pain and I know you don't like me, and I don't really like you either a lot of the time, but…just…arigatou."

He stood quietly for a long time, never looking down at her. She never moved against him, never tried to bring her head up to look at him.

"You're welcome." he said, voice flat. After a pause, he began walking again. They didn't speak again until they reached the village.

Mika took charge of Kagome, fussing over her. Sesshoumaru sat in a corner and watched the interaction in silence. Humans were curious creatures. And even all these years later, he found them as bizarre and perplexing as ever.

The miko gratefully consumed a bowl of soup and smiled absently every now and again while the old woman chattered on. Sesshoumaru found her cheerfulness annoying, but he hid his displeasure and tuned her out.

Kagome sighed, glad to breathe in air not thick with incense. She smelled of the stuff, but at least it wasn't hanging in the air around her anymore, pressing her lungs uncomfortably. She had almost vomited when Sesshoumaru had carried her outside, her system shocked, completely thrown off, by the sudden light, scentless quality of the air. She had been grateful to the demon for carrying her to the village, too, since her walking there was out of the question.

She eyed him. He was seated in a corner, eyes closed and head leaned back. The late afternoon light threw shadows over his form. It fit him. The man was an enigma. He obviously loathed every second he spent anywhere near her, but he stayed, tortured himself.

In truth, she had been astonished to hear his voice. She vaguely remembered begging him to stay—and winced at the memory, embarrassed to have acted so helpless in front of him—and his agreement that he would, but she hadn't expected him to. She was oddly happy that he had. It was a weird brand of comfort, knowing that he hadn't left her there alone, even though he hadn't exactly been sitting right beside her. It was enough to know that he had waited for her.

He wasn't her first choice for company. Hell, he wasn't even her last choice—that would have to be Naraku, or Kikyou. But he was all she had, and she was grateful that Fate had allotted her that.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

They were back at Toutousai's forge by night fall.

Sesshoumaru had found the miko changed in some manner, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. It bothered him intensely. She had been oddly thoughtful on her way up the mountain, not at all interested in annoying him with ridiculous conversation.

They were nearly there when she stopped and fixed him with serious eyes. He stopped as well and waited for her to speak.

"What are my chances?"

He watched her, stunned by the question. "What chances are you referring to?" he asked.

"My chances against the youkai."

A pause.

"As you are now, I wouldn't be surprised if you were killed upon meeting the bastard in battle."

She nodded. "I need some major practice, huh?"

"To start."

Again, she nodded. Then, she sent him a wide grin that threw him off.

"But, if Ojii-san's not talking shit, I'm going to have a very cool katana."

"Having the katana is only useful if you know how to wield it," Sesshoumaru reminded her.

The grin widened. "That's where you come in." she returned.

"Indeed."

Toutousai's face brightened when he saw Kagome breeze into the cave.

"Ah! Kagome!" he said cheerfully. He winced when he saw Sesshoumaru's dark expression.

"Hi Ojii-san," Kagome blithely returned. "Finished my katana?"

The old demon blinked his bulbous eyes once, then twice, as he stared at the young woman before him. He risked a glance at the demon lord and found that Sesshoumaru was settling down against the wall. All in all, he seemed very unconcerned or otherwise unimpressed with Kagome's miraculous recovery.

"Eh, not quite," Toutousai said, scratching his head. "The blood, you see."

The smile on Kagome's pale, sleep-deprived face froze.

"Blood?" she asked as she slowly began backing away.

"Oh let's not start that again, Kagome," Toutousai begged wearily.

"I just don't see why you need my BLOOD!" she wailed. "Couldn't you just yank out a tooth, like you did to Inuyasha?"

"And what would I do with a human tooth?" the swordsmith demanded irritably, grabbing her by the wrist and dragging her to his work table.

"Ah, but it wouldn't be a regular human tooth—it'd be a miko's tooth!" Kagome pointed out, trying to break the old man's hold.

"And it might purify me like that katana handle tried to do to Sesshoumaru."

She tugged harder.

"I doubt a tooth could purify you, Ojii-san."

"Well, you're the one who brought it up."

"I did not!"

"I certainly didn't."

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and continued looking out at the world beyond Toutousai's cave. Night had fallen in shades of deep blue, and the moon would be rising in a few hours time. Something crashed behind him. It was loud enough to move him to look over.

The miko had gotten away from Toutousai; she was currently scrambling his way. She nimbly leapt over his lap, touched down, whirled around and threw herself next to him. Sesshoumaru glared at her. She completely ignored him and was in the process of squeezing in behind him when Toutousai, hammer in tow, reached him. Sesshoumaru sighed.

_I'm surrounded by fools,_ he thought to himself as he fixed the swordsmith with a withering glare.

"Touch me and die, old man," Sesshoumaru said, voice frigid with the promise of pain.

Toutousai winced and backed away.

"Ha!" Kagome peeked out from behind the demon lord, having succeeded in her endeavor, and stuck her tongue out at the swordsmith.

Sesshoumaru gave her his full weight, which served to dampen some of her enthusiasm, as he'd hoped. He didn't bother to look at her when he said,

"Quiet wench."

Kagome contemplated whacking him, then decided he'd probably just squish her to death. She settled for sullenly glaring at the back of his head, since that was safer, if more childish.

"Sesshoumaru, if you would consider assisting me, this would go a lot faster," Toutousai said.

Both the miko and the demon lord seemed to pause and consider him. Encouraged, the old demon said,

"If you would just hold Kagome and make sure she doesn't move—"

"WHAT!" Kagome exploded. "NO! I don't want to be held down! You can't make me!"

She should have just submitted quietly instead of issuing the equivalent of a challenge in front of two demons.

Less than ten minutes later, Kagome found herself pressing against Sesshoumaru's chest with her back to no avail, one of his arms pinning her left arm to her side and the rest of her to him. She didn't even care that she was in the demon's lap. All of her horrified attention was centered on the HUGE knife Toutousai had picked up.

"Oh please don't cut me with that!" she begged, trying to jerk her right hand out of Sesshoumaru's grip. Again, to no avail.

"It won't hurt at all," Toutousai assured her as he sat down at his work table, where Sesshoumaru and Kagome were already situated. The still disabled miko's sword, now with a new blade resting next to the repaired handle, lay silently on the work table.

"Everyone always says that and they're always lying!" she wailed, now yanking at the solid arm banded around her, anchoring her in the demon lord's lap.

"Stop that obnoxious complaining," Sesshoumaru snapped.

"You wouldn't be happy either if someone was trying to take your blood!" she yelled at him.

"He's not taking all of it you baka, now shut up and stop struggling."

Kagome flinched in his grasp when Toutousai grabbed her hand. He felt the pull of her wrist muscles under his hold when she immediately balled the hand into a tight fist. He could understand being wary of trusting Toutousai with a knife, but he was confused by her response. It was too much. The sharp, ugly scent of her fear made him more uneasy than his proximity to her.

"Kagome," Toutousai said in exasperation.

Sesshoumaru pressed his thumb against the soft underside of her wrist, careful to keep his claw from tearing into the tender skin, and forced her hand open. Toutousai immediately spread her hand, palm up, on the table top and held down her fingers. Sesshoumaru adjusted his grip on her wrist accordingly.

Her fear spiked, and the scent of it grew even more bitter. She pushed back against him even harder and turned her face away, eyes screwed shut, when Toutousai grabbed his knife. Sesshoumaru watched her profile in troubled curiosity. She screamed when the knife tore her palm open.

The coppery tang of blood hit his nose a second later, along with the salty scent of tears. They were slipping out from between the miko's tightly shut eyelids. She went limp in his grasp; he loosened his grip correspondingly, knowing by her gasping breaths that she hadn't fainted but that she was close to it. Her heart was going so fast he couldn't distinguish between the ending of one beat and the beginning of another, and he could actually hear her blood roaring through her veins. It was a little scary to be holding someone who was having such a violent reaction to a simple cut. He hoped humans couldn't die of this. It would set him back quite a bit, now that he had half his plan in motion.

He watched from over her head as Toutousai grabbed her hand and lifted it off the table, careful to keep the blood that was pooling in her palm from dripping onto the table top. Sesshoumaru let go of her wrist, letting his hand drop onto his knee. The swordsmith then picked up the sword handle and brought it up to the miko's violently shaking hand. He tilted her palm and the blood spattered over the handle. Toutousai nodded, then set the handle aside. He next took up the blade and placed the blunt edge against the miko's palm. Apparently, the old man hit the wound he'd opened, because Kagome jerked violently. Sesshoumaru brought up his other hand and placed it firmly over her collarbone, his thumb and first finger on either side of her neck. He leaned her back up against him and Toutousai jerked his head in thanks. The taiyoukai didn't reply. He felt the manic pounding of her pulse, brushed his first finger up the side of her neck until it was right over the throbbing.

_Fragile things, these humans,_ he mused silently, watching as Toutousai closed the miko's hand, pressed the blade into her palm and quickly drew the shining steel down, from tip to end, the entire blade leaving her grasp coated in her blood. She cried out again, pressing back against him. And again, Sesshoumaru let her, mostly because there was little he could do to stop her that wouldn't interfere with the process going on before him.

"Hold her wrist," Toutousai said, handing her wrist back to the demon lord, who removed his hand from her chest and gripped the appendage offered him.

Kagome sagged against him, head lolling against his chest. She sniffled loudly; Sesshoumaru tried to ignore the scent of her blood. Once he'd gotten past the regular, coppery scent, he'd detected an underlying sweetness to the smell that was absent from other humans' blood. He frowned, wondering why he hadn't ever noticed it before. After all, he'd opened a wound in her neck, and he'd been around her when that vile miko had treated her. And then, by the river later, he'd had to clean up the wound before sealing it, and it had begun bleeding again. It was strange. He had to literally order himself not to lift her hand to his face so that he could investigate this startling little discovery.

Toutousai expertly put the sword together and managed to keep from getting any of the miko's blood on his fingers. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow; just how much practice had this old fool had with this kind of thing, anyway? The swordsmith laid the sword down, then looked up at Sesshoumaru.

"Place her hand over the handle, Sesshoumaru."

His eyebrow climbed higher. "You don't mean to re-animate the thing now, do you?"

Toutousai raised his own eyebrow in haughty imitation.

"I certainly do—the girl's ki is the only thing that will seal the blood." He seemed to remember something. "But first…."

He reached around behind himself and produced a scabbard. He slid the sword into it with a sharp, satisfying click, then sat back with a nod.

"Now place her hand over the handle."

Sesshoumaru mentally shrugged, leaned forward slightly and placed the miko's limp hand firmly over the handle. She stiffened in his lap.

"No," she whispered, her voice soft with pain.

He curled his hand over hers and made her take hold of the handle, and he felt the blood ooze out from between her fingers.

Her ki flared to life and he jerked his hand away, to rest over her arm and keep her there, just in case. He needn't have bothered: her hand stayed wrapped around the handle, and her ki glowed bright white, then shot from her hand all the way up to the tip of the scabbard and back again. He felt the sword come back to life, felt its ki unfurl around Kagome's hand and then draw back into the sword. It was an extension of her power, he realized. The sword had the ability to do what she did with her hands. It was a remarkable feat…even if it made his youki nervous.

She suddenly let go of the sword and it clattered to the table top. It was still glowing, this time in pink. Kagome sank into the curve of his body. Toutousai watched the sword, smiling widely in satisfaction. Even Sesshoumaru was impressed with the fruits of the swordsmith's efforts. Not that he'd ever admit it, of course.

"And THAT," Toutousai said to no one in particular, "is how one crafts a miko's katana."


	10. Peace, Of A Sort

A/N: I'm alive, you guys! Sorry for the long wait; but, the good news is that I just took my last final exam today and that means this stupid evil semester from Hell is officially over—I swear to you all, I have the desperate urge to set all my textbooks on fire in my backyard and dance around the flames like a pagan, but I'm sure someone in my neighborhood would call the cops on me. Nosy neighbors—a pox on all of them! Anyway, enough of _that_ insanity: I've already picked my classes for next semester, and hopefully I won't have the scheduling difficulties I had this semester, since I'll be going to campus three days a week instead of all five (which sucks, in case you were wondering). So anyway, here's the next chapter. The lyrics for "Fukai Mori" and the accompanying translation I got from an IY website, I totally recommend that you guys check it out, it's well-worth your while if you're an Inuyasha fan.

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Disclaimer: go see Chapters One through Nine if you're _really_ wondering.

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Words To Know: 

sensei: teacher, master; within the contexts of this story, "teacher"

sayonara: farewell, as in "good-bye forever" or at the very least, good-bye for a really long time

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**Chapter Ten: Peace, Of A Sort**

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_Tsukurareta wakugumi o koe_

_Ima o ikite_

_Sabitsuita kokoro mate_

_Ugokudasu yo_

_---_

_Going beyond the exhaustion,_

_Living here and now,_

_The rusted spirit_

_Moves about once more._

"Fukai Mori"/ Do As Infinity

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

"I'm gonna be sick," Kagome groaned, lurching out of Sesshoumaru's lap and to her feet. She stumbled her way to the entrance of the cave. Sesshoumaru heard her stagger a few more feet before she began retching. For once, he was thankful for the malodorousness of Toutousai's forge; at the very least, it would keep him from catching the sour smell of vomit.

A glance at Toutousai found the old man still admiring his glowing handiwork. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes and went back to listening to the miko's painful heaving. She was the more entertaining, of the two.

She stopped heaving after a few more minutes, and then he heard her slowly walking back to the cave. She appeared in the entrance, walked a few steps in and then collapsed on the floor with a death moan, head falling back to rest against the wall. Sesshoumaru rose gracefully to his feet and walked to where she sat, looking like a wrung out rag. She didn't even bother to open her eyes when he knelt down before her and picked up her right hand.

Sesshoumaru inspected the cut Toutousai had made. It was a little deeper than it needed to be, and too lengthy. He frowned; this cut would take far too long to heal, given the inferiority of the human body. And they had fallen too behind in her kenjutsu to wait for the skin to mend. Sighing, he settled down more comfortably before her.

Kagome jerked at the brush of something warm and wet against her palm. She tried to pull her hand away, but someone was holding her fast. Opening her eyes, she found Sesshoumaru seated before her, her hand in both of his…and damned if he wasn't licking her palm. She stared at him, aghast. And then she felt a mortified blush work its way up her neck to spread over her cheeks.

"Y-y-you d-don't have to do that," she sputtered, trying to reclaim her hand.

Sesshoumaru met her embarrassed gaze over their hands, and she winced, humiliated in a very new and special way. After all, how many women could say they'd had their wounds licked by a handsome, if emotionally stunted and sociopathic, dog demon? Kagome silently asked herself why her life was so weird. And who was enjoying this at her expense, because she REALLY wanted to talk to that sick fu—

"It will take several days for this wound to heal," Sesshoumaru said nonchalantly, between licks. "That is time we cannot afford to waste."

"Oh gods," she groaned, gritting her teeth when his tongue passed over her palm again, "why do you hate me?"

"There's no need for dramatics, Miko," Sesshoumaru returned dryly.

"You're not the one getting her hand licked by a youkai lord."

"Irrelevant, but dully noted."

Kagome sighed and gave up. In the end, she really didn't want to have to explain why this embarrassed her. And Sesshoumaru didn't look overly interested in hearing her excuses anyway, so she just decided that sitting in quiet discomfort would speed the process along faster.

She kept her eyes trained outside, unable to look at him while he "treated" her, such as it was. She knew youkai saliva had curative properties. It was an odd fact she'd picked up from Sango, stored away in her brain and then promptly forgotten about, as she'd done with algebra and trig. Once the information was no longer relevant, her brain had tossed it out to make room for something else, such as remembering where she left her damn keys. And even if she had remembered it on her own, she never would have dreamed that Sesshoumaru would use it on her. It smacked of lowering himself to help her. Willingly.

She really shouldn't have been uncomfortable with the idea, seeing as how he'd helped her before. Well, nothing tangible, aside from nursing her through her infection-induced fever. But it was the fact that she hadn't had to ask him, or otherwise force him, to do it that bothered her. He had acted completely on his own, with no nudging on her part. Her gaze flickered to him, watched him for bare seconds out of the corner of her eye and then went back to the world outside the cave. He was watching her, eyes trained on her. Kagome got the uneasy feeling that she was being observed as if she were his own personal science project. He didn't blink, just stared at her, eyes narrow and glittering. A shiver tripped down her spine; whatever was going on in that dark, sharp mind, she was positive she didn't want to know.

He was right.

Sesshoumaru mulled over the taste of the miko's blood as he tended to her palm, growing more and more certain with each pass of his tongue on her flesh that there was something different about the woman's blood. About her.

Why hadn't he noticed that sweetness before?

A corner of his mouth twitched up cynically when he saw her glance at him briefly out of the corner of her eye. She was nervous and wary; he could smell it on her. She was remarkably edgy, actually, but he wasn't bothered by that in the least. Let her be knocked off her equilibrium for a change—gods knew it had happened to him more than enough since her arrival.

Another pass, another taste. The heavier flavor of blood, that metallic tang, hit first, overpowering. It quickly faded, to be replaced by the more subtle texture, the more pleasant essence. It tasted pure and it tasted soft. He was almost certain that it was a result of her power, of her ability. That was the only conclusion he could come to, anyway. He still wondered why he'd only become aware of it now. Was it because of the sword? Had her proximity to the holy object drawn out this mysterious little peculiarity?

He knew she didn't know, wasn't aware, of the change. No point in asking her. And while Toutousai knew enough about miko to know that blood would bind them to their weapons, he doubted the old man would be able to explain why the miko's blood had never smelled different until tonight. Toutousai knew weapons—he didn't know shit about blood. Or anything else, for that matter.

He kept licking her palm even after the wound had shut, just to make her nervous. It was a childish reaction and later, he'd feel stupid for giving in to it. But for right now, he wanted to see her squirm.

Kagome gritted her teeth and silently recited her times tables. The licks had slowed. He was dragging his tongue over her palm languorously. Her cheeks were on fire. Oh wow, this sucked. She had never dreamed that something so potentially erotic could be so utterly humiliating.

"Are you done yet?" she asked, back teeth tightly ground against each other.

"No," he returned, just before laving her palm.

She suppressed another shudder.

_Fuck._

_Wait! No! Wrong word! I meant shit! Yeah, right shit! That's it!_

Too late: now that the word had come to the forefront of her mind, her brain snagged hold of it. It was not giving her mental pictures analogous with the noun form of the word, however. No, her scattered wits had skipped frantically by that nice safe haven for the very dangerous world of the _Fuck: Verb; Used in a sentence to denote activity, as in: I like fucking._

"Oh gods!" she wailed, snatching her hand away and covering her eyes. Her face was permanently on fire; she would look like she'd been sunburned for the rest of her life. And forget ever looking Sesshoumaru in the face ever again.

"Fuck!" she exploded; the demon lord had been safely away from the dirty montage in her mind until she'd actually thought of him. Now he was a star.

"My life is SUCH crap," she moaned. "Why does even my mind have to work against me?"

She heard him snort.

"I am _begging_ you, Sesshoumaru: Do. Not. Say. A. Word. Please, in the name of all that is good and holy in this world, don't say anything. Or I'll have to throw myself off this mountain." she implored before he could open his mouth to say something condescending. Not because she wanted to avoid hearing his general disdain for her race and her in particular, although that was certainly incentive. She just didn't want anything he said in that deep voice of his to be horribly vulgarized by the dirtier portions of her mind. She already had a mental picture of him that would have given her mother a seizure (actually, she'd almost given herself one). She didn't need to hear him or look at him and add some more features. Maybe if she could get him to cooperate….

"And why would this Sesshoumaru want to prevent that?"

She was going to kill him.

She ripped her hands away from her face and glared at him. He was still seated before her, only now, he was smirking at her, eyes narrowed. That bastard. He was enjoying her discomfort! That son of a bitch! How DARE he!

"I hate you," she snapped. "I hate you and I hope you drop dead—stone cold dead—in front of me right this instant!"

He raised a haughty eyebrow.

"And if I don't?" he asked, sounding bored.

Kagome made a sound of outrage; she was too upset for words. Fine then. If he wanted to torture her, she'd just have to…. What? She didn't have any ammunition. She sighed in frustration. Her life really _was_ crap.

"Miko? I'm waiting."

She shoved her face in his, nose to nose.

"Go sit on Toukijin!" she shouted, then abruptly got to her feet and stormed out of the common room and forge.

Sesshoumaru sat in silence for a moment. Then, slowly, the corners of his mouth lifted and he smiled in true amusement and satisfaction.

"I won," he said loudly enough for the miko to hear, and he chuckled under his breath when he heard her yell an obscenity.

_And THAT, is how one tormented a miko._

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome blocked Sesshoumaru's swing with a grunt and quickly backed away the second the pressure let up on his end.

He had slowed down considerably for her benefit, but he was still way faster than she was. She knew that it was impossible for him to slow down any more, but the more irrational portion of her mind complained and wished he would. She tried to block another swing that seemed to come out of nowhere and managed to partially succeed; his bokken made stinging contact with her elbow.

Kagome let out some random, wordless exclamation of pain as her arm throbbed.

"Time out," she managed to say as stars danced before her eyes. Stars with obnoxiously familiar smirks, reeking superiority. "Crap," she muttered, collapsing on the ground and pushing back her sleeve to rub her elbow.

Sesshoumaru stood before her, the bokken tucked into the crook of his right arm. And something she'd noticed about his style suddenly popped into her head.

"Oi, Sesshoumaru," she said, forcing down the hitch her heart gave at using one of Inuyasha's rude attention-getters.

The demon lord sent her a look icy with displeasure at being treated to such a common phrase. She ignored it.

"I noticed you only use your right hand when you're gripping the bokken," she said.

He raised an eyebrow. _And?_ his expression seemed to say.

"Why?"

There was a pause.

"Why do I use one hand or why do I use the right hand?" he returned finally.

She shrugged. "Both. I noticed it a while back, but I kept forgetting to ask you about it."

"If you recall, the hanyou sliced my left arm off," he said, voice holding the barest traces of resentment.

She nodded.

"I was left with one hand for over thirty years, Miko. One learns to adapt."

She cocked her head and pursed her lip as she examined one arm and then the other. She finally met his gaze.

"Huh," was all she said.

"Have you recovered?" he asked.

"I guess," she said with a sigh, picking up her discarded bokken and standing. She slipped into defensive stance, waiting for him to attack her.

He watched her for a moment in silence, then abruptly came at her. He drove her back, toward the stand of trees. Kagome knew immediately that he was trying to corner her, such as it were.

They were using pretty basic, simple maneuvers. He'd begun with defensive training because that was what she'd probably be doing most with her sword. It was practical. It was also hard as all hell.

Toutousai had been dead-on: Sesshoumaru was a merciless sensei. He rarely, if ever, let her take a break, was constantly pushing her to keep going whether she had the ability to or not. And while he held back a considerable amount of his strength, he was in no way letting her off easy. Every muscle in her body was straining to keep up with the demon lord. Unfortunately, Kagome had a feeling she wasn't doing so hot.

She backed right into a tree. She saw Sesshoumaru's predatory smile just before he swung the bokken down toward her head. She brought her own up to meet his, only to have it brought down to about waist level from the force of the demon's blow. The strike reverberated up her arms painfully and she winced.

"You'd be dead."

She sent him a very unamused look.

"That'd be the eighth time this hour." She glanced at his bokken, still pressing hers down. She sent him a pointed look. "Mind letting me up?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Make me," he returned. "I've just cornered you. What are you going to do?"

"According to you, I'm dead. Being dead denotes the absence of life, i.e. being lifeless, inanimate, no longer active and functioning, period." Kagome replied. "Corpses do not wiggle out of corners. Therefore, this 'corpse' will not."

He frowned at her. "This 'corpse'," he said, bringing his face down low so that they were nearly nose to nose, "will do just that, or she will cease to be a pretend one. This 'corpse' will be just that—a corpse. 'Being lifeless, inanimate, no longer active and functioning, period.' Do you understand, Miko? Or will I be forced to demonstrate 'the absence of life'?"

Kagome watched Sesshoumaru and listened to his even, smooth tones as he very effectively threatened her. She refused to let her fear gain control however. She had to take control of herself, and this situation. So he wanted her to get out of the corner he'd backed her into? Okay—she'd do just what he wanted.

She leaned up and kissed him, eyes on his, and had the satisfaction of seeing horror leap into his deadpan face. She felt him stiffen and begin to jerk back and got ready to swing her sword into his face the second he backed away from her.

Appalled didn't begin to describe what Sesshoumaru was feeling. What in the FUCK had gotten into the woman? What spawn of hell had possessed her to kiss him? And how was he going to keep from killing her when he got the hell away from her?

He was pulling back when he saw the smug satisfaction shining in her eyes. His own narrowed. So, she was trying to addle him, was she? Two could play this game.

He pressed her back against the tree and nearly smiled when her eyes darkened in confusion and a little apprehension. My my. This wasn't going at all the way she'd planned, was it? He sucked her bottom lip in between his own. The miko stiffened, and Sesshoumaru smiled faintly, pleased with her reaction. Then, he abruptly bit down on her lip with enough force to break through the skin and sank his fangs into the soft flesh, her blood seeping into his mouth.

She yelped and he allowed her to rip her mouth away and stumble away from him. She immediately put a hand to her lip and watched him, wide eyed and shocked. He raised an eyebrow.

"You bit me," she said from behind her hand.

"How astute of you," he replied.

"You asshole!" she yelled. "Why would you bite me!"

"Don't be stupid, woman," he snapped. "For the same reason you kissed me. Which, by the way, will never happen again or I will not hesitate to forget that I require your powers of purification."

She glared at him mutinously, then lifted her hand away from her mouth and looked at it.

"You didn't have to bite so hard," she muttered churlishly.

He sent her a dark look and took a step toward her. Her eyes nearly fell out of her head.

"You're not licking it shut!" she shouted, swinging her bokken out in front of her awkwardly with one hand while she held the other to her lip.

"You're damn right I'm not!" he shouted back, then took a deep, calming breath and uncurled his fists. They watched each other in something like resentment, since they'd driven each other to acting childish once again, and effectively broken on their agreement to stop such behavior.

Kagome sighed when Sesshoumaru would have spoken.

"Why am I learning how to do this if the thing I'm going up against is youkai?" she asked wearily, plopping down onto the grass gracelessly and throwing her bokken off to the side. She glanced down at her hand to check on the bleeding from her lip, then replaced her hand.

"This youkai has the ability to manipulate the minds of others," Sesshoumaru said, deciding to sit down as well.

"Mind control?" Kagome asked, staring at him, obviously unpleasantly surprised by this development.

Sesshoumaru nodded, holding up his bokken and inspecting the tip. "Anything capable of sentient thought has the potential for having its mind taken over by this youkai," he said. It went without saying that humans were likely among the demon's soldiers.

Kagome raised an eyebrow. "So why hasn't he tried to mess with your head?" she asked with a smirk.

Sesshoumaru smirked back. "He's survived eight years of warfare with me, Miko—I give the bastard at least some credit for intelligent thought."

Kagome laughed darkly, then fell back against the grass and closed her eyes.

"So, I'm going up against a youkai who's able to control minds, and has been dodging your claws for eight years? Great. Just great. My life gets better with every hour that passes." She opened her eyes and stared up at the sky. "How do you know he won't try to get in my head and make me one of his grunts?"

"I _don't_ know," Sesshoumaru returned, ignoring the last part of her question since he had no idea what she was talking about, "I simply doubt that he'll dare."

Kagome lifted her head and looked at him.

"Why?"

"You are a miko. It is unheard of that a miko should work in tandem with a youkai."

"I'm working with you," she interrupted.

He glared at her meaningfully when he said,

"You're a very special case."

The way he said "special" told Kagome that he didn't mean it in a good way.

"In any case, I believe the thought will not cross his mind. Youkai energy is too dark, too different, from the energy of a miko. It would be impossible for a youkai to control such a thing. The natures are too different to attempt such a thing without extreme difficulty. It wouldn't be worth the effort, in the end."

Kagome laid back down and thought about that.

"I hope," she said at long last, "that this guy is as intelligent as you give him credit for. Because it would suck if you were wrong about that."

He didn't reply.

They were silent for a long time, and then Sesshoumaru stood. Kagome, hearing him move, lifted her head and found him watching her.

"As we're leaving tomorrow, it would behoove you to take advantage of all this free time we have such an abundance of, and learn what you can."

She stared at him for a second, processing that information, then sighed and sat up.

"I'd like to say good-bye to Sango and Miroku's children before we go," she said.

He eyed her. "If I say no, you'll irritate me, won't you?"

She nodded. "And to hell with our accord," she added.

He sighed inwardly.

"Pick up your bokken you frustrating woman."

Kagome smiled wryly, stood up and fetched the instrument, then got into defensive stance.

"As you wish, Sensei."

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Toutousai had her try on her new armor when she and Sesshoumaru arrived back at his cave later that day, just before dinner. The old demon eyed her critically once she had gotten into the leather and metal contraption, circling her and mumbling to himself unintelligibly. He tugged here, adjusted there, then jerked his head and stepped back.

"There," he said.

"Do I look ready to kick ass Ojii-san?" Kagome asked with a half grin.

"'Look' being the operative word," Sesshoumaru murmured from where he leaned against the wall, eyeing her armor as critically as Toutousai had.

Kagome ignored him, and was damn proud of her restraint.

"You look very fine indeed, Kagome-chan," Toutousai hurried to assure her, in case she decided to take offense to the demon lord's estimation of her abilities. They had been more or less quiet since their return from the taiji-ya village, but the older demon knew that that could change very quickly. As it was, Sesshoumaru still ripped the sheets off of her and shook her awake in the morning, and she still tried to purify him upon being rudely returned to the land of consciousness. Once the yelling had passed, they were able to more or less tolerate each other with lukewarm humor—good humor was simply asking too much from two beings who would have preferred to have nothing to do with each other.

Kagome smiled at the old demon, then got out of her armor and carefully set it next to her bow, quiver and pack.

The miko sat down to dinner, and Toutousai joined her at the low table and inquired after her kenjutsu lessons. Kagome cheerfully filled him in on the afternoon's events, though she skipped the part where she had kissed Sesshoumaru and he had bitten her in retaliation, the demon lord noticed in dark amusement. Not that he would have been happy to have her tell the crazy swordsmith about the unpleasant incident. He was simply amused that she was as eager as he to pretend the episode had never taken place, despite the angry fang marks on her bottom lip that said otherwise.

She had improved since her time in the shrine. He still had no idea what had happened in that suffocating little box, but—and he'd cut off his own arm before he'd say it out loud—he was grateful. Hopefully, from here on out, his plans would fall into place more quickly, more smoothly.

He caught little shadows moving over her eyes every once in a while, a vague sadness that passed over her features for a quick moment and then was gone. It would have been too much to expect her to be completely repaired and restored. She was still mourning. But the sickness that had been leeching the life out of her, stealing the soul from her, had been purged at some point during the two nights she had spent in the shrine to her dead friends.

He wondered sometimes if, after being faced with the mortality of her comrades, she felt her own more keenly. As he understood it, death had that affect on humans, moved them to examine their lives, the briefness of their time on the earthly plain. He had never understood the purpose of humanity. They really were rather useless, at the mercy of everything, even each other. Which was not to say that youkai didn't pose a threat to each other, they did. But there was a reason behind it. There was an order to maintain, power to control. Humans had no such power, no such order. And so he wondered why they were even alive. Why something so weak and useless should be allowed to dwell for a handful of decades, having accomplished nothing worthwhile, having done nothing of merit, nothing to redeem its wastefulness. Why something so low and vile was allowed the chance when it squandered that chance at pursuits of no intrinsic value. And why that contemptible creature fought so hard for a gift it had no true appreciation for.

But he held his peace and sat near the miko and nursed a cup of tea and watched her and wondered. Wondered if she knew that he could smell the faint scent of decay on her, wondered if she knew that death hovered over her as it hovered over all humans, wondered if she knew that she more than likely had no more than two decades (and that was being overly generous in his estimation) left to live before her mortality, the curse and ruin of humanity, fulfilled its promise. And he wondered, as he sat there quietly, listening to her cheerful voice, why that knowledge suddenly made him so sad.

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Toutousai showed Kagome what her sword was capable of that night after dinner. He had her pick up the weapon, unsheathe it and hold it as he looked it over, then smiled and nodded his head.

"Now, bring it outside," he said, turning and walking out of his forge.

Kagome stared after him, then looked at Sesshoumaru, who met her gaze with his usual practiced boredom. And it WAS practiced; now that she was no longer drowning in her anguish, now that she was able to lift her head above the dark water threatening to pull her under, she recognized the fakeness of the expression. It was a shield. It was a mask. It was protection. It was what kept him sane. She wondered at that, but said nothing. She was still trying to collect the shattered pieces of herself and fit them back together. The pieces were sharp-edged and jagged, and she knew that they would never fit together perfectly, but it was enough that she could be mended, with time and care. Maybe later. She was a miko, after all. It was her job to purify that which had been tainted, heal what had been harmed. Even if what had been tainted and harmed was a being that had no love of her and no desire for her help.

Kagome followed Toutousai out, her sheathed sword tightly gripped in one hand. She felt Sesshoumaru fall into step behind her. Upon reaching Toutousai, the swordsmith asked her to once again unsheathe her sword, which she obediently did.

"Kagome, this weapon is an extension of your power," the old demon said. "Anything you can do, it can do."

She raised an eyebrow and sent the sword a skeptical look. "Oh?" she asked dubiously.

Toutousai looked miffed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded.

"It's just that I can't really do very much with my ki, Ojii-san," Kagome replied, moving to slide the sword into its scabbard.

"Stick it in the dirt," Toutousai ordered.

"What?" Kagome asked, confused by the demand; even Sesshoumaru was sending the old man a look that said he must had lost his mind.

"You heard me, child," Toutousai said irritably.

Kagome sighed, eyes turned upwards, shrugged and stabbed the sword into the dirt like an oversized toothpick. A purple glow immediately enveloped the sword and the area directly around it. Kagome stared at her weapon in shock, then looked to Toutousai, who was smugly watching her.

"What in the hell?" she murmured. "That's a barrier."

"Yes it is."

Kagome looked back down at her glowing sword. She walked around it slowly, then crouched down beside it and leaned in for a closer look. She noticed that Sesshoumaru had stepped closer, also investigating. She grunted, frowning.

"Hell," she groused, "this barrier is better than any of mine."

"It's concentrated," Sesshoumaru said, also crouching down. He was considerably farther from the sword than she was, not that she blamed him, him being youkai and all.

Toutousai nodded. Kagome looked up at the demon lord. "Concentrated?" she repeated.

The demon lord nodded. "The power has direction, is focused in one area with one purpose. That is the reason for its strength."

Kagome's gaze went back to the sword.

"Huh." was all she replied. She cocked her head, then looked at Toutousai. Her gaze went back and forth between the sword and its creator, and then she leaned forward, grabbed her sword and jerked it out of the dirt with a grunt. Then she walked to Toutousai. She stood before him, eyed him speculatively, then suddenly plunged the sword into the ground in front of him.

"What in the hell!" the old demon exploded, eyes bugging out of his head as he was enveloped by the purple-colored barrier.

Kagome's face broke out into a wide grin. "I was hoping that would happen," she said to no one in particular.

"What exactly were you hoping for?" Sesshoumaru asked, coming to stand beside her and watch idly as Toutousai waved his arms over his head and yelled at them. It was actually pretty entertaining, the demon lord reflected absently.

"The barrier grows to accommodate whatever it's protecting," Kagome returned, still grinning with pleasure that her guess had been right. "As long as I stick the katana into the ground in front of the thing I want protected—right Ojii-san?"

"Get me out of here!"

"Why?" Kagome asked, her smile leaving her suddenly. "Are you being purified?"

"No!" the old demon bellowed, glaring at her. "I just want to get the hell out of here!"

Kagome shrugged, stepped forward and reached through the barrier to grab the sword. The barrier dissipated the second the tip left the dirt. Toutousai scowled at her darkly.

"And just why in the seven hells did you use ME to try out your theory on?" he snapped.

Kagome watched him, surprised. "Who else was I going to use?"

Toutousai pointed to Sesshoumaru. Kagome followed his finger, saw who the old swordsmith was gesturing to and turned back to him with a look of complete disbelief.

"You're kidding, right?"

Toutousai's eyes flickered to Sesshoumaru, who was watching him with icy displeasure. He paused, mouth screwed up. He really couldn't see Sesshoumaru docilely submitting to being a guinea pig for the miko's weapon. He could see, however, the demon lord running the miko through should she have attempted.

"Well," the old man grumbled, "it was a thought, anyway."

"A dumb one," Kagome muttered.

"So this weapon can do anything the miko is able to do with her hands?" Sesshoumaru asked after an acceptably uncomfortable silence had descended.

"That's the idea," Toutousai said after a short pause. "Keeps her within range to do serious damage without having to resort to hand-to-hand combat, such as it is."

"I'm right here," Kagome mumbled irritably, annoyed that she was being talked about when she was standing not four feet from the two men. Both decided to ignore her, much to her growing resentment.

"Useful," Sesshoumaru decided at long last. Toutousai scowled and muttered something under his breath. Sesshoumaru sent the old man a sharp, narrow-eyed look. "I don't believe I caught all of that," he commented mildly, cracking his knuckles for effect.

"Don't kill him," Kagome said with a sigh, sheathing her sword, "I just ate. Murder upsets the digestion."

"Is that right?" Sesshoumaru murmured with a dark smirk. "I've found it actually aids in the digestive process."

The miko sent him a look that plainly told him just how much faith she put in his observation.

Toutousai, meanwhile, had edged back toward his cave.

"I believe I left the fire burning," he said lamely, taking a chance and running for the safety of his forge. Kagome bit back a laugh at the old man's hasty retreat, then sighed and glanced over at the demon lord standing beside her.

Sesshoumaru's face was lifted toward the night sky, eyes closed. He looked almost peaceful. Kagome looked up at the moon and decided that the taiyoukai had the right idea. The moon hung serenely in the inky blackness, bathing the world below it in a silvery light. The stars were out too, winking almost cheerfully. She smiled wistfully; she had forgotten how beautiful nights were here, where the sky was clean and free of pollution and millions of volts of unnatural light. She picked out a few constellations, remembered pointing them out to Sango and Miroku and Shippou…Shippou.

Kagome felt a little knot of dread take up residence in her stomach, but she steeled herself. There was a hope, small and painful, that the kitsune had not met the same fate as the others of their little group. But Kagome doubted that the baby fox demon she had adopted as her own had survived. Especially since he had left Inuyasha's protection a few years before the half demon had died. Everyone else was gone—it would have been asking too much of Fate for the kitsune to have outlived them all.

"I don't suppose you'd know what happened to Shippou?" she asked the demon beside her quietly. After a long silence, she decided she should elaborate: "He was the little kitsune that traveled with us?"

Sesshoumaru let out a soft grunt beside her, and her eyes darted to him, surprised that he'd made such a sound. His face, however, was impassive as ever.

"No," he said at length, dashing her last, sad little hope. "During my final dealings with the hanyou, the kitsune was no longer with him. He had left the hanyou's care some time before then."

Kagome nodded, then looked back up at the sky. She fought down the urge to weep copiously for the child of her heart, lost to gods knew what. A few tears slid down her cheeks. She calmly wiped them away, watching the moon as though it were her only salvation. At first, she was surprised at how well she had taken the news, but then again, she had had a feeling, deep down inside, that she was the sole survivor of their little band. She had accepted that possibility unconsciously during her time in the memorial to Sango and Miroku.

Once she was sure that she could speak without breaking down, she glanced at Sesshoumaru. He was watching the moon as well.

"What time are we leaving tomorrow?"

"Early."

Kagome's mouth twitched at the vague answer. How typically cryptic of the man. Demon.

"Then I'll turn in," she said quietly, walking towards the cave. She stopped halfway there, but didn't turn around. "Sesshoumaru?"

She felt his gaze on her back.

"I haven't forgotten the promise you made this afternoon—I don't care what time we leave Ojii-san's cave as long as we stop by the taijiya village afterwards."

Technically, Sesshoumaru had made no such promise. At least, not out loud. But Kagome was beginning to understand the demon's strange language without words, and he had clearly acquiesced to her pseudo-request earlier just before he had ordered her to pick up her bokken and resume her lesson.

"If you give me any trouble tomorrow morning, Miko, I will not hesitate to fling you off the side of the mountain."

Kagome smiled at the frigid tone he graced her with—he was in a _really_ bad mood if he was threatening physical harm.

"Good-night Sesshoumaru."

He didn't answer. She hadn't expected him to.

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They left before dawn.

Kagome surprised not only Sesshoumaru and Toutousai but also herself when her eyes snapped open the second Sesshoumaru ripped the sheets off her. She didn't even feel sleepy. She turned over on the lumpy old futon she had been borrowing for the past week or so, and gazed up at the demon lord, who was wearing an expression akin to amazement on his face while he watched her. They stared at each other, both feeling rather stunned by her miraculous awakening.

"Weird," Kagome said, voice rough with sleep.

Sesshoumaru blinked, then reigned in his surprise and schooled his features.

"We'll be leaving shortly," he announced, then turned and left the chamber. Kagome watched him go, feeling a twinge of disappointment. She had gotten used to the routine they had established in the morning. It wasn't that she necessarily enjoyed it, because she didn't. There was nothing enjoyable about having your warm sheets ripped off your prone body, and then being shaken like a rattle on top of it, by a very annoyed dog demon. There were far more pleasant ways of greeting the day. Like breakfast in bed, or the sight of a really good-looking man baring breakfast, or even just the really good-looking man. Sans shirt. And pants.

But Kagome had become rather fond of routine as she had grown older. It made sense out of chaos, and while most people her age hadn't minded a little chaos, they hadn't been juggling two different lives in two different eras. Routine had become her very best friend out of necessity.

And it was hard to break the habit of searching for a daily rhythm to adjust to. She had fallen into the Wake-up Call from Hell because it had happened more or less at the same time for more than two days in a row. Her brain had just naturally adapted to that. And now she felt more than a little thrown off that the routine had been interrupted.

Sighing, Kagome sat up and scratched her head absently, then stretched and yawned hugely. She had laid awake for two hours after retiring, unsure how she felt, exactly, about leaving the forge. The place had become a kind of bizarre home to her. She was going to miss it, despite the stifling heat and the smell. And Toutousai. He was rather like a weird uncle, or senile old grandfather. In fact, he reminded her quite a lot of Jii-chan, except demonic and fascinated by weaponry rather than fairy tales. Other than that, they were much alike.

"You finally slit that poor child's throat, didn't you?" she heard Toutousai demand. She smiled at the outraged tone his voice took on. At least, she smiled until he spoke again: "And left her carcass on my futon, just to put me out, didn't you? I'll have to get another one, you ungrateful mongrel."

"Why you miserable old coot!" Kagome yelled, jumping off the futon and scrambling into the common room.

Toutousai whirled around, shocked at both her voice and her words—she'd never called him names like that unappreciative mongrel did—while Sesshoumaru, who had been in the process of tying on his armor, raised an eyebrow at her display of energy so quickly after waking up.

"I can't believe you were worried about your damn futon!" Kagome said, fuming. She glared at him. "It isn't even a very good one! It felt like I was sleeping on the ground anyway."

Toutousai looked offended. Sesshoumaru went back to his armor, a corner of his mouth twitching. This morning's entertainment was really quite good, especially since he didn't have to play any part in it. He could just sit back and watch.

"Ungrateful child!" Toutousai said, returning her glare. "I give you my bed, my food—"

"That sucked too." she caustically threw back.

Perhaps he'd spoken too soon.

"Miko," Sesshoumaru said, his voice holding warning. "We do not have time for your childish antics."

Kagome watched him for several seconds, then slowly raised her hand and then her middle finger. He raised his eyebrow, not entirely sure what she meant by the gesture, but quite sure that it was meant to be insulting, if the expression on her face was anything to go by.

"Yes?" he asked, bored.

"Fuck. You." Kagome said, sounding just as bored. She then let her hand drop to her side, turned and went back into Toutousai's chamber.

The two demons stared after her.

"Gods above, she spent far too much time with Inuyasha," Toutousai said after a long silence.

"So it would seem."

They ate breakfast—Sesshoumaru ate the proffered fare with a look of faint distaste that Kagome enjoyed because she had decided she was going to hate him for a little while—then walked out of the forge, Toutousai following after them. Sesshoumaru made a move to grab the miko, but she gave his hand a whack. He growled at her, startled and furious that she'd dared strike him. She glared at him.

"Wait a minute," she ordered, then turned to Toutousai. She threw her arms around the old demon, who stumbled back in surprise, then awkwardly patted her back.

"Arigatou Ojii-san," she said sincerely. "For everything. Even the futon."

Toutousai grumbled under his breath. "You're welcome," he groused, not liking the unpleasant gleam in Sesshoumaru's eyes.

Kagome let go of him and smiled. Toutousai found himself smiling back, despite himself. Oh, who cared what that spoiled asshole thought? She was a sweet girl.

"Make good use of that katana, Kagome-chan," Toutousai instructed.

She nodded. "I will," she promised. She sent him a suddenly shy look. "Would you mind much if I visited you again? I know I'm a pain—"

"It gets lonely up here, even with Momo," Toutousai said hurriedly.

She beamed at him.

"How touching."

The swordsmith and the miko sent the demon lord acidic looks. The demon lord returned the looks. Kagome sighed, then turned back to Toutousai. She bowed, then turned and went to Sesshoumaru, who grabbed her around the waist.

"Good-bye!" Kagome yelled, waving, as Sesshoumaru leapt off the ledge.

"Good-bye!" Toutousai yelled back, returning the wave, suddenly frantic to convey his liking for her, the merry little human woman whose natural effervescence brightened the world around her. He went to the ledge and looked over, and watched as Sesshoumaru set her on her feet. She adjusted her armor and clothing, then looked up at the demon lord. Satisfied, he turned and began walking to the woods. She scrambled after him. Toutousai watched the pair until they disappeared into the forest, then sat down and watched the horizon.

His forge was suddenly too quiet for his liking. He had gotten used to Kagome's voice, either cheerfully going on about her kenjutsu or snapping at the puppy. The place suddenly felt lonelier, faded, in a way it hadn't before.

"What a funny little human," he murmured. He looked up at the sky. "Gods, protect her—I'd like that funny little human to visit me again someday soon."

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Mamoru watched Sesshoumaru and Kagome's approach, silently asking himself if the world really _was_ coming to an end. After all, Sesshoumaru had never been particularly fond of the taijiya, and already many of his relatives were begging for Mamoru to bless them, terrified that the apocalypse, or something very much like it, was about to descend upon them, and that so much contact with the demon lord was the prelude to the end.

He stepped forward and bowed lowly, greeted them both solemnly:

"Sesshoumaru-sama, Kagome-sama."

Kagome bowed to him, then smiled. Mamoru found himself smiling back.

"I just wanted to say good-bye, Mamoru-sama, and thank you for all your help," she said.

Mamoru inclined his head. "I am pleased to have been of service to the dear friend of my honored parents," he said simply.

Kagome's smile widened, and she took a shy step forward. "Anything against hugging monks?" she asked, biting her bottom lip.

Mamoru chuckled.

"No," he said, shaking his head.

Kagome launched herself into his arms and squeezed him tightly, burying her face against him. He laid his cheek against the top of her head and shut his eyes, returning the force of her embrace. He remembered his father's stories about the young woman's expansive soul, and as he embraced her, he felt it envelope him. And thought again what a remarkable woman she was.

"Arigatou," she murmured against his shoulder, then leaned up and kissed his cheek. His eyes flew open and he jerked a little, surprised by the gesture. He was used to his nieces and grand nieces kissing his cheeks and hugging him, so he wasn't completely surprised, but it was something of a shock coming from a young miko who had traveled with his parents.

"You're welcome," he said, coughing slightly and mentally thanking the gods that he hadn't blushed like a green little boy.

She stepped away from him and smiled happily. Slowly, though, the smile left her and she watched him solemnly.

"I'd like to say good-bye to Sango and Miroku, Mamoru-sama."

He nodded. "I expected you'd want to visit them before you left. I thought it better to let you decide when was the best time for you."

She sent him a sad half-smile in thanks. He turned and led her though the village. Kagome glanced over her shoulder once and was surprised to see Sesshoumaru following her and Mamoru. His eyes were carefully blank when they met hers. She watched him for a moment, then faced forward.

The monk led the miko and the demon lord to the small cemetery just beyond the taijiya village, surrounded by a wooden fence. The holy ground had been well-tended to, and even though Kagome hadn't expected less of Sango and Miroku's children, she was happy to find them so lovingly remembered.

Just as Inuyasha was….

Mamoru and Sesshoumaru stood by the fence, watching Kagome walk toward two stone markers emblazoned with the kanji of her friends' names. It was, Mamoru thought idly, the first time in his life he wasn't afraid of upsetting the taiyoukai. Odd that it was because of a human woman.

Kagome knelt before the stone markers, tracing the characters of Miroku's name, which were newer, less worn.

"You should have gone with her, hentai," she murmured affectionately. "I'm sorry you had to live without her. But you're with her now, so maybe there's nothing to be sorry about."

The wind rustled the long grass around her. Kagome smiled, leaned forward and kissed the stone. Then, she turned to Sango's marker.

"Sister of my heart," she murmured, tracing the kanji. "I missed you. I still miss you. But I'm glad you were happy. That's enough, I guess. It'll have to be. Fate didn't mean for me to be with you when you died. If I'm able to, after I do this for Sesshoumaru, I'll come back. Make sure your kids are okay. It's the least I can do."

She leaned forward, kissed the stone, then bowed her head and silently prayed that where ever her friends the houshi and the taijiya were, they were together and content. Then she opened her eyes, laid her hands on the markers for one more silent good-bye, and stood and turned and walked slowly to the demon lord and the monk who waited for her, her eyes dry.

They regarded her silently as she walked through the gate and faced them. A little sad, perhaps, but determined. She bowed to Mamoru.

"Arigatou Mamoru-sama," she said, straightening.

"It was nothing, Kagome-sama," the monk murmured. He stepped forward, one hand disappearing into the sleeve of his robes. The hand withdrew a second later, and Kagome's eyes widened when she caught sight of what he held.

_It can't be,_ she thought, heart thudding slowly, painfully.

Mamoru grasped her hand and pressed the familiar prayer beads into her palm, then gently shut her fingers over them. They were warm.

"Otou-san gave them to me when I announced my intentions," he said, stepping back. "He said it was fitting, and hoped I was better at it than he was." The monk's mouth curved into a nostalgia-tinged smile.

Kagome stared at the beads, then looked up at Mamoru.

"But," she said, voice faltering, "but these are…."

"A gift, Kagome-sama," Mamoru said gently. "I have a feeling Otou-san and Okaa-san would have approved of you having them."

Her hand convulsed, tightened around the beads, and they bit into her skin. She looked back down at them, then bowed her head and shut her eyes. She wanted to thank him, but she knew she would never be able to convey the depth of her appreciation to the man who looked so much like Miroku that her heart hurt. Her gratitude that he would willingly share a piece of the man he had so loved and admired, with her.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to find Mamoru smiling down at her. He seemed to understand. He would have, being the son of a man who had had such eerie insight into the hearts of others.

"You're welcome."

She managed a watery, shaky smile. He squeezed her shoulder, and they stood in silence for a moment.

"My siblings wish to say their good-byes as well, Kagome-sama."

She nodded, not able to trust her voice. Mamoru smiled, gently patted her shoulder, then dropped his hand and turned and began walking back to the village. The brass rings of his shakujou chimed as he moved, and while Kagome watched him, the past and the present seemed to blur for a moment as Miroku replaced his son. Her heart stuttered, and then the moment passed and it was Mamoru again. She let out a broken sigh and looked back down at the beads in her hand. How ironic that the beads that had kept the kazaana from devouring them all should bring her such a sense of…serenity? Yes, serenity. It was her last piece of Miroku and Sango. It was something for her.

"Miko."

Her eyes went to the demon lord watching her. She had forgotten about him.

"The monk waits."

She looked back toward where Mamoru had been heading and, sure enough, saw him standing there, waiting. She brought the hand that held the beads to her chest unconsciously, and nodded her head.

"Right," she managed, taking one step forward. She caught sight of something and stopped. There was a sad little patch of flowers growing just on the periphery of her vision. She went to them and plucked them, then turned and went back into the cemetery, to the graves of her friends. She laid one before Miroku's marker, another before Sango's, and one beside Sango's resting place as an after-thought, remembering Kirara.

"I love you," she murmured to all three. She squeezed the beads. "Sayonara."

Then she turned and strode out of the cemetery without looking back. She heard Sesshoumaru fall into step behind her. Again, her grip on the beads tightened.

She wasn't healed. Not yet. But the beads brought her peace, and healing didn't seem like such an impossible feat anymore. After all, she'd completed and purified the Shikon no Tama, she had defeated Naraku. Both those things had seemed impossible. But she had done them. And she could do this too.


	11. The Dead

A/N: Okay, so I'm updating much sooner than I'd planned to, but I feel bad for leaving you guys hanging for so long, so you now reap the benefits of my guilt—congratulations. So, this chapter I _love_. Seriously. Possibly even more than chapter eight…okay, maybe not, but it's a really close race between them. Just like chapter eight, though, it gets a little depressing. This is not a chapter that ends on a happy note, but then, I'm not the sort to write cheerful things—this, you should have all figured out by my frequent use of depressing lyrics. Oh well, enjoy—and Merry Christmas!

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Words To Know:

shiro: castle

oni: ogre…more or less. Some kind of monster, in any case

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Disclaimer: check Chapters One through Nine if you're really wondering.

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**Chapter Eleven: The Dead**

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_You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening,_

_Failing miserably to find a way to comfort you…_

_Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening_

_And hiding from some poisoned memory…._

"Sleeping Beauty"/ A Perfect Circle

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"We smell rank."

Sesshoumaru did not often find himself in agreement with a human. Particularly when the issue of his cleanliness—in this case, his lack thereof—was under discussion. However, he had to concur with the miko: they _did_ smell rank. But that didn't mean he had to concur with her out loud.

Luckily, she didn't seem to want his verbal accord:

"Is there a river nearby or something?" Kagome asked from beside him, sending him a hopeful look.

He sniffed the air. "A river," he said. "We should be coming upon it very soon."

"Thank the gods," Kagome murmured fervently.

His mouth twisted into a decidedly malicious smirk.

"Indeed."

She glared at him, knowing that he wasn't echoing her sentiment, but making an observation on how she smelled.

They had been walking all day long, and it was nearing sundown. They were going to be reaching the river a half an hour after sundown, by his calculations. It wasn't a great start, but the walking had given him time to think. He would have been able to think if he had been leaping over trees or hurtling through the air via youki, but the thought process was always a little fragmented, since he had to watch out for things like gaps in the forest growth or mountains. He had learned both lessons as a pup the hard way, and Sesshoumaru never did anything twice, if he could help it. Especially if it was something unquestionably moronic.

He had been feeling something on the very edges of his awareness all day, and the sensation was beginning to annoy him. He couldn't identify it, he couldn't quite get a handle on what it was, only that it disturbed him at the most basic levels of his being. It was a little like the feeling he got when he and the miko faced off and her hands started glowing. Whatever the something was, it was a threat to him. He wasn't positive, but instinct said it was probably that youkai bastard that had been consuming his thoughts and life for nearly a decade. And while Sesshoumaru wasn't adverse to the idea of warfare, one tired of the same old shit after a while. Particularly when one wasn't doing, to take a page from the miko, "so hot."

Kagome was thinking too. And while some of it was heartbreaking, most of it was happy. Hell, she could even find something happy about the heartbreaking parts.

She had said good-bye to Sango and Miroku's children, all eleven of whom she had met in some fashion or another during her visits to the village. Upon finally seeing all of them together and counting them, she had smiled, a little sad, a little amused. When Mamoru had asked her what was so amusing, she had replied,

"Not quite a dozen."

The siblings had stared at her in astonishment. It wasn't until she got nervous under the weight of so much disbelief and turned to Mamoru for help that she discovered that she had quoted Miroku's oft repeated phrase, chapter and verse. Her eyes had watered even as she had laughed.

Mika had given her another blanket and a thick bar of soap, homemade, of course, along with a comb, a few lengths of ribbon and some food stuffs. She had also supplied three huge rolls of ragged, but clean, linen turned bandage.

"You never know," the old woman had said as she stuffed the items into Kagome's arms. Kagome had sent Sesshoumaru a helpless look. He had sourly watched her become even more weighted down, but he hadn't said a word. He didn't have to: everyone in the village had been able to sense his displeasure.

Mai and Kin, baby Yasuo in tow, had said their good-byes. Kagome had had a moment of inspiration and walked over to Sesshoumaru. She had tugged on his sleeve and motioned for him to lean over. He had rolled his eyes but complied. She had whispered her request into his ear, and he had stared at her as if she'd grown another head. Annoyed, she had grabbed hold of a lock of his hair and given it a yank. He had growled in warning at her, and the taijiya who had showed up armed placed their hands over their weapons at the sound.

"You will not dishonor our parents," Mamoru snapped, his voice hard and cold as he glared at the offenders.

Kagome and Sesshoumaru watched, eyes going from the monk to those he was reprimanding. After a handful of tense seconds, hands had been removed from hardware and Kagome breathed a sigh of relief, then went back to Sesshoumaru, sending him her best pleading look. If it was possible, his expression became even more disagreeable than before.

"Oh just do it already, you overgrown baby," Kagome hissed.

His eyes narrowed. "Remember that later," he told her, then reached around, grabbed her hair and sliced off a lock. It fell into her palm, and she smiled cheerfully at him.

"Arigatou," she said, then turned and walked back to Mai and Kin, who had heard the exchange and were presently doing a very good impression of the expression Sesshoumaru had been wearing after she'd made her request.

She smiled at Yasuo, leaned forward and kissed his forehead, then handed him the lock of hair.

"I expect you to keep your hands to yourself next time I see you, kid," she said.

Mai had laughed. Kin sent his wife and the miko a look that plainly said he thought they were insane. When he'd glanced over at the demon lord and seen the same look on his face, he inclined his head, a gesture that the demon acknowledged with the barest flicker of his eyes.

They had ended up leaving the taijiya village with the rising of the sun, Kagome walking backwards to the best of her ability—she found she didn't have a particular talent for it—and waving furiously until she couldn't see her friends' children. She had wanted to go back and stay with them a little longer, but she had business to attend to. The promise she had made to Sango made her silently vow that she would do all Sesshoumaru needed her to do and more: she'd perform the purification to end all purifications, and then she'd come back and make sure her friend's children were safe and well.

Half an hour later, they had reached the river. The sun had already set, and the last paltry rays of light were fast disappearing, chased down behind the horizon by the descending night.

Kagome plopped down at the base of a tree and went through her belongings, looking for the bar of soap Mika had provided her with. She also pulled out the dark blue haori and hakama Mine had given her. She had begun to pull out the pajamas, but the memories attached to the article of clothing had stayed her hand. She was never going to be able to watch that anime ever again without thinking about Inuyasha and Kaede-obaa-chan being dead.

"I won't be long," she said to the silent demon.

Sesshoumaru didn't acknowledge that she'd spoken. He was seated under another tree a few feet away, head resting against the bark and eyes closed. Kagome took his silence as an answer of sorts, and went to the river.

She striped and waded in, cringing at the cool temperature, but glad nonetheless for the opportunity to wash. She scrubbed her skin vigorously with the soap, and used it to wash her hair, then washed her miko's garb. She dried off with a spare scrap of cloth that Mika had provided and got into the dark blue haori and hakama, then wrung out her wet, now clean clothing and gathered her soap and the cloth and went back to camp. The entire process had taken her thirty minutes.

When she got back to where Sesshoumaru was sitting—as far as she could tell, he hadn't moved—she started a fire and rigged a line to dry her clothes. That done, she dug through her bag for her comb and began methodically working through the knots in her hair. She glanced at him.

"If you'd like, you can borrow the soap Mika-san gave me," she offered.

He opened an eye and watched her. She shrugged, set her comb aside and grabbed another cloth from her bag, put the soap in it and tossed it at him. He lifted one hand lazily and caught it, then shut his eye and leaned back against the tree. Kagome went back to her hair.

Silence stretched between them, companionable and comfortable for the first time in Kagome's memory, and then Sesshoumaru opened his eyes and rose fluidly and left the camp, walking to the river. Kagome noticed that he was still holding the cloth-wrapped soap.

She finished her ministrations and got out her tea kit and cooking implements, along with some of the food Mika had provided her with. It occurred to her that her pack was starting to resemble the bottomless yellow backpack she'd carted all over Japan while on her quest to complete the Shikon with Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou, and she smiled, a little wistfully at the thought.

She had just finished serving the dinner she'd cooked when Sesshoumaru returned. He came up behind her so silently that she didn't know he was back until he dropped the cloth next to her, making her jump.

"Aiieee!" she yelped, then sighed and shut her eyes. "Why do you DO that?" she asked.

He didn't reply. He merely continued on towards the tree he'd been sitting under before and lowered himself to the ground gracefully. She sighed again and shook her head, then picked up one of the two bowls and rose. She walked to him, and held the bowl out. He had closed his eyes again. She stood in front of him, offering the bowl, for several seconds before he opened one eye and looked up at her. He opened both eyes, reached out and accepted the bowl. Kagome inclined her head, and as she did, she noticed his hair. She paused, then leaned closer. It wasn't quite as smooth as it had been before.

"If you'd like, I'll comb the knots out of your hair," she blurted before she thought.

He went still, and Kagome, realizing what she'd said, fought down the urge to bash her head into the tree he was currently sitting under.

He didn't say anything, and Kagome started getting nervous. Why in the world had she made such an incredibly idiotic offer? How could she have forgotten who she was traveling with? Sesshoumaru was not like Inuyasha—she couldn't treat him the same way she'd have treated his half-brother. To begin with, they disliked each other and weren't at all shy about making that fact abundantly clear. Sesshoumaru tolerated her only because he found her useful, and Kagome tolerated him because she was beginning to think that his battle was the reason she had been taken back through the ages. But beyond his war, Sesshoumaru had little patience for her, and she had absolutely no permanent obligation to him for the same reason. They were united in this uneasy alliance to defeat a threat, that was all. Still, that didn't change the fact that Kagome had uttered possibly the stupidest question of her life, and she was caught between the urge to call back the words and the knowledge that such a thing was not only impossible, it was extremely rude. But since when did she care if she was rude to him?

Since he'd helped her.

Kagome sighed inwardly.

"It shouldn't take me very long," she said hesitantly. "And, with your hair being so long, it'd probably be easier to let me do it for you."

He still wasn't saying anything. Kagome didn't know if that was a yes or no. After a long pause, she decided to take it as a yes. She turned and went to her pack and took out her comb, then walked back to him and settled down beside him. She took a second to gather up her courage, then reached up and gently dragged the comb through the fine strands that glowed like moon shine.

To say that he was stunned was the understatement of the millenium.

Sesshoumaru hadn't expected the offer, although, once he thought it over, it shouldn't have surprised him the way it had. She was a naturally thoughtful person—that particular quality had just never been present in any of her previous dealings with him. He really hadn't known how to respond, especially since the offer had reminded him, sharply, painfully, of Rin. She seemed to do that a lot. And he resented her more and more for it, when it happened; the rest of the time, he was just annoyed that she existed.

Rin had been fascinated with his hair as a child, and it was a fascination she had never entirely grown out of. It was a fascination that her children had inherited, as well. Her children. He hadn't thought very much about them. Mostly because they had so resembled her, all cheerful smiles and obedient curiosity. It was like remembering her. Sesshoumaru swallowed, his grip on the bowl tightening.

_Why?_ he silently asked. _Why am I being punished NOW?_

It took several minutes to settle himself. Once he did, he began to quietly eat the meal Kagome had given him, even though he didn't need it or particularly want it; he'd only accepted it so that she'd go away and leave him alone. Now, however, he was grateful he had it—it would give him something to occupy himself with, something that didn't require much thought. She was mercifully silent, meticulously combing out the snarls in his hair, and actually, if he didn't think about anything, it was a rather nice feeling. He hadn't really relaxed while someone had attended to his hair since the death of his mother. Nowadays, nameless, faceless servants attended to him.

He moved forward so that she could sit down behind him. And once she could no longer see him, Sesshoumaru shut his eyes and did something he hadn't done in centuries—he imagined he was a pup again, being attended to by his mother. It was a mistake, that: not only did it not make him feel any better, it depressed him when Kagome finally finished and rose.

"There, all done," she murmured, walking back to where she had set down her dinner. She tossed the comb on top of her pack, sat down and dug into her food.

She did not expect his thanks, and he did not give it.

** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_Sesshoumaru stood in the middle of his garden, his right arm hanging as limply at his side as his empty left sleeve, and stared ahead at nothing._

_The little one had married._

_He pursed his lips, still not entirely sure how he felt about that. He had taken her in, raised her. She had been his companion for almost seven years. Seven years. Gods above, it didn't seem like it had been anything at all._

_In truth, he would have preferred to wait for her seventeenth birthday to marry her off, but there was unrest in the youkai world, and it was dangerous for her to remain with him. So when the boy had asked for Rin's hand, he had given his blessing. It suited his purposes to get her out of his shiro and far away from him. She was his only weakness. A sweet little human woman-child who had wormed her way into his icy heart. He still wasn't sure how he felt about that, either._

_He heard Inuyasha long before his half-brother actually showed up._

_"Hanyou," Sesshoumaru said coldly._

_"Cut the shit asshole," Inuyasha spat. "Your toad thing said you wanted to talk to me."_

_Sesshoumaru turned and faced his long-estranged brother. The hanyou was glaring at him. He still wore the red fire-rat haori and hakama, still had Tessaiga at his hip. He also still wore the rosary around his neck that his odd little miko had used to control him. Sesshoumaru mentally scoffed at the show of sentimentality._

_"Well?" Inuyasha snapped impatiently._

_"I merely wished to inform you that I have forfeited all rights to the Tessaiga," Sesshoumaru said smoothly._

_Inuyasha stared at him, more still than Sesshoumaru could ever remember seeing him—except, perhaps, for those fifty years he'd spent under enchantment, pinned to the tree by the dead miko. His ears flickered once, then twice._

_"What?" Inuyasha asked finally, sounding absolutely and completely perplexed._

_Sesshoumaru resisted the urge to kill him on the spot for his stupidity._

Not on the little one's wedding day, _he silently reminded himself._

_"You heard me."_

_"No shit—I just don't believe it."_

_"That is your business."_

_"Why don't you want it anymore?" Inuyasha demanded suspiciously._

_Sesshoumaru did something he had never done before: he sighed in impatience and impotent frustration._

_"Because, baka, there isn't a chance in all the seven hells that I will be able to wield it, and I refuse to waste any more of my precious time on a fruitless endeavor." he snapped irritably. He glared at his half-brother. "Besides, I gave up on the thing some time ago. This is just a formality."_

_Inuyasha watched him, one eyebrow raised, lips pursed. "Yeah, you like that formality shit," he said absently._

_Sesshoumaru again reminded himself that he couldn't murder Inuyasha on Rin's wedding day. It might upset her groom and his family, which would in turn upset her. The last thing he needed right now was an excuse for the ceremony to be reduced to a shambles._

_"Is that it?" Inuyasha asked, scratching the back of his head. He looked off balance, which cheered Sesshoumaru up a little._

_"Hai," Sesshoumaru returned, then turned around again._

_"Oi bastard," Inuyasha said after a pause._

_"What is it now, you abomination?"_

_"Don't think this means I'll give up on trying to beat your arrogant ass."_

_Sesshoumaru indulged in a rare smile, but didn't turn around._

_"I wouldn't dream of it Inuyasha…."_

** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_Kagome found herself walking down a dusty road under an orange sky. As far as she could tell, she was alone, and there was nothing but the road and the sky. No grass, no ground—just road and sky._

_She glanced around her, looking first to her left and then to her right. When she looked to her right, she suddenly found Miroku walking beside her, looking as he always had. She was so startled by his appearance she stopped walking and stared at him, eyes wide. After several seconds, Miroku stopped as well and turned around and met her wide, shocked eyes. They stared at each other in silence; Kagome couldn't seem to find her voice, and Miroku seemed to be waiting for her to speak._

_"M…miroku-s…sama?" she asked hesitantly at long last._

_He grinned widely at her and bowed ever so slightly. "Kagome-sama," he returned. "It's been some time, hasn't it?"_

_Dumbly, she nodded as she stared at him._

_"Am I dreaming?" she asked finally._

_"Indeed you are," Miroku replied with a nod. "We are currently on the dream plane."_

_"Any particular reason?" she asked._

_He sent her a decidedly wise look. "You tell me, Kagome-sama. This is, after all, your dream, not mine."_

_He had a point there. Kagome pondered while they walked down the path together. Dreams were supposed to be symbolic, or at least that was what her psychology professor had said. Dreams were the unconscious mind's attempt to communicate with the conscious. So what did her unconscious know that the rest of her didn't?_

_"I'm not really up for figuring it out, Miroku-sama," she said finally, wearily._

_Miroku nodded solemnly. "No, I don't suppose you are, considering everything that's been happening."_

_"You know?" she asked, surprised._

_Miroku grinned at her. "Of course—you told me all about it."_

_Kagome watched him, then slowly grinned back. "You were listening."_

_"You're my friend, Kagome-sama," the houshi returned sincerely. "To do anything less than listen to you when you needed me to would be wrong of me."_

_Kagome sighed._

_"That's nice to know," she said. "But I would have rather had you and Sango there with me," she added sadly._

_"We were there."_

_Kagome's head jerked up and she stared at him in surprise. He laughed._

_"Did you think you were hallucinating?" he asked, still laughing._

_"Well…yeah!" she shot back defensively. "That was some pretty freaky incense, Miroku!" _

_He smiled, shaking his head._

_"It was quite ordinary, I assure you," he said. "People's minds are fascinating things, Kagome-sama. The mind is able to create any reality it wishes. That's what yours did. The incense only helped to soothe you, nothing more."_

_"I freaked out pretty bad huh?" she asked after a pause._

_"You've had to deal with quite a lot."_

_Kagome swallowed. "That doesn't make it any better," she murmured, eyes on the path she was walking._

_"That is a matter of perspective."_

_She felt her lips twist. "You know, you used to say that a lot—especially when we called you on your exorcisms."_

_Miroku sent her a serene smile. Kagome laughed._

_They continued on it silence for some time._

_"Were you happy?" she asked him._

_"Hai," he replied without hesitation._

_She pursed her lips. "It must be nice not to have to think about that answer," she mused aloud._

_"It is," he returned. He glanced over at her. "Kagome-sama, are you up to the task Sesshoumaru-sama has given you?"_

_"No," she said honestly. A pause. "But I wasn't up to defeating Naraku either. I figure if I can do that, I can do this."_

_Miroku looked troubled._

_"Kagome-sama, the evil you face now is more insidious than Naraku could have ever hoped to be. This is evil, the purest, oldest evil there is." he said._

_"What do you know?" she asked; getting information from Sesshoumaru was about as effortless and enjoyable as pulling teeth._

_"Only what I've seen, and, unfortunately, it wasn't quite enough. I only visited long enough to sit with you," Miroku admitted, frowning. "But I felt it. It's a presence that soils everything it touches. It's thousands of times more pervasive than Naraku."_

_"You're starting to scare me Miroku," Kagome said quietly._

_"Perhaps that isn't such a bad thing, Kagome-sama."_

_They walked on, the sky around them suddenly more oppressive than it had previously been. It hadn't changed color or visibly darkened, but it was just a feeling._

_"I don't know how to control my power," Kagome told him. It was her greatest fear, the amount of untamed power she housed in her petite body._

_"I can guide you through that, if you'd like," Miroku said with a nod._

_"You won't grope me or anything, will you?" Kagome asked suspiciously._

_Miroku pulled a wounded expression, clasping his right hand to his chest as if he'd been struck._

_"Kagome-sama, your suspicion cuts me to the quick."_

_"Uh-huh."_

_His lips twitched. "Don't worry about it—Sango broke me of the habit many years ago. She's the only one I grope now."_

_"That's sweet…in a creepy, perverted kind of way…."_

** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome's eyes opened. She lay on her side for several seconds, staring out into the night, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness around her. After several seconds, she was saw Sesshoumaru under his tree, presumably sleeping. The fire she'd built had burned itself out.

She blinked, wondering if she was still dreaming or if she was really awake now. Everything around her seemed real enough. Then again, so had her dreams.

She moved slightly, and heard the clink of beads bumping beads. Looking down at the hands fisted under her chin, she found Miroku's prayer beads tightly wound around both. She blinked down at them, then looked up at the sky. Still dark, still starry. No moon, though. She found herself strangely disappointed. Moon-watching did wonders for the soul. So peaceful, so calm….

Kagome sighed, then settled down again. She was going to need to sleep if she expected to keep up with Chuckles.

** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

It took him three days to figure out why he was sleeping so peacefully and why he was reliving memories he wished he could forget.

Sesshoumaru eyed Kagome as she walked alongside him, looking rather engrossed in her thoughts. She had been quite serious lately, and he had noticed that she had been meditating every evening after dinner. And he was noticing an improvement in her ki. There was focus, or the beginnings of it. There was a sense of control about her that had been missing before. He was grateful for that. A little. Okay, maybe not so much: the bitch was using him as her practice.

He had figured it out this morning, when he had awakened from another memory-dream. And when he did, he had immediately noticed that his youki was intertwined with her ki. He had sat in rigid shock for several moments, stunned by the realization. His first reaction had been to get up, grab her and snap her neck. But he had discarded that action when he looked at her. She was still asleep. And she was too green to be able to control her ki in her sleep in such a manner. No, this was her ki's doing. The energy had sought out his. For what purpose, he had no idea. He knew for a fact, however, that her ki joining with his youki was making him memory-dream, or what ever the hell it was. And he despised it, hated that she made him relive, however unintentionally, things he wanted to obliterate from his mind. He loathed his memories. If he could have, he would have happily erased them.

He had no use for them. They merely served to remind him of his failures. And he detested that he had failed so many times, even if he was the only one who remembered them anymore.

Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru nervously out of the corner of her eye for the tenth time in five minutes. He looked pissed. REALLY pissed. And she really hoped he wasn't pissed with her, though something told her he probably was. After all, in his mind, he was the Golden Boy—perfect, could do no wrong. He wasn't the type to get upset with his perfect self. He was the type that preferred to take out his aggressions on the imperfect mass around him. And unfortunately for her, Kagome was the only "mass" nearby.

A spike of youki made her stiffen.

"Did you feel that?" she asked him, stopping.

He didn't verbally reply. Instead, he unsheathed Toukijin. Still, that was answer enough for her.

Sesshoumaru's youki began to uncurl around him. Kagome's ki responded in kind, and her hands began glowing as she drew an arrow from her quiver and placed it against the string of her bow, not quite nocked but close.

It was such a massive presence that Kagome had no trouble sensing which direction the threat was coming from; she turned to it at the same moment Sesshoumaru did. They stood tense, ready. Waiting.

"It's huge," Kagome murmured.

"Miko."

She looked at the back of Sesshoumaru's head.

"I would suggest that you try out your katana."

She frowned. "My katana?" she asked. "But I could do just as much damage with my arrows."

"Perhaps—but it would be best to find out just what exactly you're capable of before you face the youkai bastard. Don't you think?"

Kagome hesitated. "I guess."

His head moved ever so slightly, and she thought he might have nodded. And that was about all she was capable of thinking.

An enormous oni ripped through the woods in front of them—saying he was hideous would have been a polite description.

"Oh crap—why can't these things be more pleasant-looking?" Kagome asked, automatically letting her arrow fly.

The arrow sliced cleanly through the oni's raised hand, and obliterated it. The oni bellowed, and Kagome winced at the sound and hooked her bow over her back and unsheathed her sword, which promptly began glowing bright yellow.

"Fantastic—you've enraged it," Sesshoumaru said sarcastically as he grabbed her about the waist and leapt out of the way of the oni's remaining fist, which smashed into the ground where they had been standing.

"Well, you'd be upset too if someone took off your hand," she returned mildly.

He glared at her, and she had the good grace to blush and smile in embarrassment. "But then, you know about that already, don't you…?"

He glared at her a second longer before dismissing her and dodging another blow. He was eyeing the oni, plotting something. Something that involved her using her sword. Kagome was actually a little curious as to how the sword purified demons. She assumed it had some kind of attack, like the Tessaiga's Kaze no Kizu, but perhaps less destructive to the world around it. She hoped, anyway.

Sesshoumaru landed in a spot just behind the oni, and set her on her feet.

"Got any ideas?" she asked.

"I believe you do," he said, watching her sword. He gestured to it with his nose. "Or maybe that's your weapon speaking."

Kagome glanced down at the sword she held. It was now glowing white. It pulsed, once, then twice. Kagome looked up at Sesshoumaru, surprised. He was eyeing the sword suspiciously. Right—being a demon and all, he was naturally suspicious of anything remotely pure.

The oni figured out that they were behind him and turned around with a roar. Kagome looked up, saw him beginning to bring his very heavy palm down upon them, and did the first thing that popped into her head: she chucked her sword at him like a throwing knife. The sword spun through the air, a glowing metallic blur, and hit the oni dead in the chest. The oni jerked, looked down and screamed as the sword shot holy light all through him. He exploded, and the blast sent Sesshoumaru and Kagome flying back. Sesshoumaru hit a tree with a grunt, then grunted again when Kagome slammed into him. Pieces of oni rained down all around them.

Sesshoumaru sighed wearily and shut his eyes, leaning his head against the bark.

"Woman," he said slowly, "you will be my undoing."

"That is easily the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," Kagome said, wrinkling her nose, as she watched bits of oni fall around her with sick splats. She gagged.

Sesshoumaru shoved her off his lap. Kagome glared at him; he ignored her. They sat there for several minutes, surveying the havoc Kagome's sword had created.

"It smells," Sesshoumaru finally commented.

"I'm with you on that," Kagome agreed. She grinned at him. "But that was pretty cool, wasn't it?"

His expression told her plainly that he did not concur. She chose to ignore it.

"Miko," he said, his voice dry, and Kagome inwardly moaned, knowing he was going to make her feel stupid, "just how are you going to go about retrieving your weapon?"

She glared darkly at him. She had not thought about that when she had thrown her sword. She'd been concerned with other things, like not becoming a Kagome-sized pancake. In retrospect, she figured it had not been the best idea. Not that she was going to let HIM know that:

"The usual way," she snapped.

He looked darkly amused: "Good luck," he said with malicious cheer.

She shot him another bird. He smirked at her.

"I'd avoid doing that, Miko—it's terribly easy to lose a finger."

She quickly lowered her middle finger and settled for sticking her tongue out at him.

_Oh yeah Kagome,_ she thought to herself, _real mature. Great comeback. Just look at how impressed Icicle Ass is._

They got to their feet, and Kagome started walking toward where the oni had been standing, hoping her sword hadn't flown somewhere too far from it. Her right palm started itching all of a sudden, and she absently scratched it as she walked. Instead of going away, the itch just got more insistent, and Kagome looked down, irritably wondering what in the hell was wrong with her hand. That was when she noticed a scar on her palm that she hadn't seen before. She stopped and stared down at her hand.

It was the cut Toutousai-ojii-san had made when he'd put together her sword, sealing her ki to the weapon with her blood. The one Sesshoumaru had licked shut. The cut had been a faint line before, so weak as to be almost invisible. Now, it had thickened and looked inflamed.

"What in the seven hells…?" Kagome asked, a little scared. She turned her hand over, palm down, to see if the back of it was turning any weird colors. And that was when her sword shot up from the ground several yards away from her and sped through the air toward her. The handle slammed into her palm and nearly knocked Kagome over.

"Holy crap!" she yelped, dropping the sword and jumping back.

"Must you scream?" Sesshoumaru asked irritably, walking toward her.

Kagome edged toward the sword carefully, her right hand clasped to her chest. She leaned over and peered down at the weapon, eyes narrow and accessing. Experimentally, she held out her hand, palm down. The sword immediately lifted up and the handle slapped her palm. Kagome closed her fingers around it, staring at the sword in shock. She then looked up at Sesshoumaru.

"It appears your scar calls your katana back," he stated.

She nodded, then looked back down at the weapon in her hand.

"This…is SUCH a cool katana," she murmured.

** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

She was little better than a child.

Sesshoumaru watched the miko stick her sword into the dirt, walk several feet back, hold out her right hand and call the weapon back for the eightieth time that evening. And for the eightieth time that evening, she said,

"This is so freaking cool!"

He thought about killing her to shut her up and then using the Tenseiga to revive her after he'd had about an hour's peace, but he made no move to get up. In all truth, he could probably have tuned her out and ignored her, which would have been far easier and less messy than killing her…but not nearly as satisfying. Or fun.

He rolled his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree he was sitting under, closing his eyes. In another few minutes, he was going to order the insufferable woman to go to sleep. He'd do it now, but she wasn't really annoying him overly. She was just acting like a child with a new toy. Which she was, in a way.

It took him several minutes to realize that she had quieted down—he'd tuned her out and retreated into the sanctity of his own mind—and in the same second he became aware of her silence he felt her ki spike. His eyes shot open, and he found her standing rigidly by the fire, looking at something in the woods. He looked too, but saw nothing. And that was when he felt it: a cold, creeping feeling that slid over his body and made him want to shudder.

"Son of a bitch," he snarled, instantly on his feet, Toukijin drawn.

A laugh echoed all around them, and Sesshoumaru saw the miko flinch violently at the sound.

"Ah Sesshoumaru-sama," the voice, soft and deep said. Sesshoumaru's teeth clenched and he growled low in the back of his throat, menacingly. "Oh, come now Sesshoumaru-sama, I thought you'd be pleased to hear from me. It's been far too long, don't you agree?"

"Come out you miserable shit," Sesshoumaru ordered, eyes flickering everywhere.

"I'm sorry to disappoint, Sesshoumaru-sama, but I'm not here." the voice said, sounding amused. "That's why you can't smell me either."

Sesshoumaru had never been so furious.

"Then where are you?" he demanded, voice taut.

The voice chuckled, sounding indulgent.

"Suffice it to say that I'm not anywhere near you. Or your charming little miko. Tell me, for I'm most curious…what would a youkai so powerful as yourself be doing with a miko?"

Kagome was slowly backing away from the fire, coming closer and closer to him. His eyes went to her. Fear was rolling off of her in frantic waves. Her ki was on high alert, which made his youki curl protectively around him. Shit. If she didn't calm down, she was going to purify him.

"Nervous, Sesshoumaru-sama? I can't blame you. Purity like the miko's…that's impressive. Wherever did you find a miko with so much power?" There was a pause, and then the voice chuckled lightly. "Ah, I know: she's the miko who traveled with your brother, isn't she? Kagome?"

The demon lord and the miko stiffened in unison, shock ripping through both of them.

"What was his name?" the voice mused. "Inuyasha? Hai…that sounds about right. And Kagome is the reincarnation of the miko who sealed Inuyasha for fifty years. Kikyou, wasn't it? Hai, Kikyou. You look very much like her, Kagome. Tell me, does it bother you that Inuyasha and Kikyou are together in hell?"

Kagome flinched as if she'd been shot.

"Ah, I see that it does," the voice said, sounding delighted by the discovery.

Kagome edged farther back, reaching Sesshoumaru's side. She grabbed hold of his kimono sleeve and stepped back, almost behind him. She was shaking violently, terrified and hurt. Sesshoumaru ignored her. He didn't trust these under-handed tactics. There was probably an army heading straight for them while this faceless, formless speaker wasted their time and diverted their concentration.

"Would it bother you that Inuyasha died cursing you, hating you, Kagome?" the voice wanted to know.

Kagome jerked and whimpered. Now THERE was a tender nerve if ever Sesshoumaru had seen one. Love. His lips curled in a sneer. Such a useless thing.

"Is there a point to this idiocy?" he snapped icily.

There was a long pause.

"Why of course there was Sesshoumaru-sama," the voice said sincerely.

"And?"

The voice chuckled wryly.

"Ask your little miko," was the reply, and then the cold, creeping sensation vanished.

Sesshoumaru stood unmoving for several minutes, then sheathed Toukijin and turned his head to look at Kagome. She had leaned her forehead against his arm, still clinging to his sleeve and still shaking.

"Why did he come?" he asked.

"For me," she whispered raggedly. She raised her head and looked at him, face white and eyes tragic. "You were wrong."

"About?" he asked, wondering why he felt a pang at the expression in her eyes.

"Him getting into my head—you were wrong."

** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_Kagome stood on the dreamscape path where she'd spent her nights "walking" with Miroku. She was shaking, even now._

_That…thing…had slid into her mind, shapeless, formless, but with such a malevolent presence about it that she had felt ill. It had dipped into her memories, then withdrawn. It hadn't taken more than a second. But it had been terrifying. She hadn't realized that it was done pillaging her mind until she heard Sesshoumaru's furious voice. And she had automatically moved toward him, knowing that he wouldn't let her die, because he'd promised, and he took his honor very seriously._

_"Kagome-sama?"_

_Kagome looked around and saw Miroku standing there, face serious._

_"Miroku-sama," she said weakly._

_He didn't smile. "You met the evil this evening, didn't you?"_

_She shuddered. "Hai," she whispered._

_Miroku stepped forward and began walking. Kagome fell into step beside him. Tonight, the dream had begun differently. Then again, tonight had ended differently, too._

_"It was so evil, Miroku-sama," she murmured. "So…gods, I don't think even Kikyou could purify something so bad."_

_"Kikyou-sama isn't the one purifying it, Kagome-sama," Miroku said. "You are. And you've demonstrated, on several occasions in the past, that you are capable of power that surpasses even hers. You only lack focus, training."_

_"'Only'?" she repeated, sending him an exasperated look. "That's a pretty important 'only', Miroku."_

_Miroku shrugged. "It's something easily remedied. Sesshoumaru-sama's presence and kenjutsu training helps as well. He forces you to focus and apply yourself. I believe he is attempting to teach you control through combat. It's very effective training. But you haven't the time required for proper training." He looked over at her and smiled gently, encouragingly. "However, your meditation has been helping immensely. And the practice you engage in every evening with Sesshoumaru-sama only adds to it. And then, of course, there is you."_

_"Me?" she asked, confused._

_He nodded. "You're the right type of person for something like this. Trust me when I tell you that you will not fail, Kagome-sama."_

_"I trust you Miroku," she said quietly, with feeling. She sighed. "I just don't trust myself. So much could go wrong…."_

_"Indeed," Miroku agreed. "And so much could simply fall into place."_

_Kagome grinned wryly. "Miroku-sama, this is ME we're talking about," she said with dark humor. "Fate positively LOVES to screw with me."_

_Miroku smiled at her._

_"Kagome-sama, you're not a special case."_

_"Uh-huh," she returned, tone disbelieving. "So you say to the girl from the future who fell through a dried-up well that took her five hundred years to the past to fight youkai—"_

_"I know the story," Miroku politely interrupted, managing to keep a straight face._

_Kagome laughed. "Just checking," she replied. _

_They continued on in companionable silence._

_"Will…will Sango-chan come one of these nights too?" she asked hesitantly, almost afraid to hope._

_Miroku smiled gently. "Hai…when the time is right."_

_Kagome sighed, but accepted the answer—who was she to do anything but?_

_"You know," Miroku said conversationally, "we aren't the only ones you can dream with."_

_Kagome shot him a curious look. "Oh?"_

_"You could always dream with Inuyasha."_

_The air left her lungs, and Kagome felt agony shoot through her. She fell to her hands and knees, gasping for air._

_"No!" she managed to get out. "No, not Inuyasha—NEVER Inuyasha!"_

_Miroku knelt beside her, one hand on her shoulder._

_"All right Kagome-sama," he murmured soothingly. He didn't seem shocked or confused by her vehement refusal. "I only mentioned that you could. You don't have to."_

_She moaned, shutting her eyes._

_"I don't think I could ever face him, Miroku, not after I left him like that…." she said brokenly._

_Miroku said nothing for a long time, simply knelt by her and offered her the silent comfort of his presence and understanding._

_"One day, Kagome-sama," he said finally, quietly, "you will have to confront your guilt. For now, you must concentrate on the task at hand…."_

** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

What a fucking waste.

_The thought tore through his brain like a wind storm, howling and bouncing off the walls of his mind, echoing and repeating as Sesshoumaru's hand clenched violently, angrily._

Inuyasha, you selfish fucking bastard.

_His brother's corpse had been cleaned and properly attended to by the elderly miko seated by the fire pit behind him. She had retreated there after showing him into her hut and gesturing him to the body laying in the corner. Decay had already set in; it had been pure luck that Myouga had happened upon Sesshoumaru while he was in the taijiya village._

_He had not expected the sight that had greeted him: the hanyou was in his human form. When the old miko had seen his surprise, she had said,_

_"He died the night of the new moon, Sesshoumaru-sama."_

_"He was attacked?" Sesshoumaru asked quietly, feeling rage slide through him. He didn't know who he was angry at or even why. But he'd been living with the feeling for the past few days. Ever since the little one had died. He moved away from thoughts of her as the old miko replied:_

_"He was not—he jumped into the well in the darkness again. He must have tripped over the vines this time." She paused. "He missed Kagome," she said quietly, sadly, her voice hitching slightly._

_"He died from a fall?" Sesshoumaru couldn't believe what he was hearing._

_The miko nodded. He felt more than saw it._

_"He broke his neck. I found him the next morning. He always comes for asagohan, and I was worried when he did not show up." Another pause. "He looked very peaceful, laying at the bottom of the well."_

_Sesshoumaru didn't reply._

_The miko had retreated to her fire after that, left him to his own thoughts. Only one circled around his head:_

What a fucking waste.

_He wanted to snatch the corpse up and beat the dead bastard, wanted to shred his miserable body to pieces, wanted to howl at him for being so reprehensibly stupid, so inexcusably selfish…so unforgivably lonely. He bowed his head as a mixture of grief and fury roared through him._

_He had never loved his brother. Not really. At first, he had felt pity for a child no one save its mother would ever be able to truly accept—it was that pity, and honor for his father's memory, that had stayed his hand. Later, he had been repulsed by him, but never to the point of absolute, total hatred. He really hadn't felt very much_ for _Inuyasha—he felt a multitude of things_ about _him. But that had been changing over the past five years. They had warily established a relationship. There was nothing remotely loving about it—in fact, they fought as viciously as ever. But there had been an understanding between them, a truce. Tolerance. Inuyasha was still a hanyou, and Sesshoumaru doubted he would ever completely change his stance on the matter of half-breeds. But he no longer blamed the son for the mistakes of the father. It was the most forgiveness he had been willing to bestow on his younger brother for what he was. But now…_this_…_this _was unpardonable._

_Sesshoumaru had felt lonely with Rin married and living her life far away from him. He had accepted her into his life as a pseudo-daughter, a part of his family. He had missed her presence, and had felt his own solitude keenly for the first time in his life. On a whim, he had sought out Inuyasha's company. The blood they shared had urged Sesshoumaru to keep track of the other member of his small pack, to forge some kind of bond besides blood. He had not been entirely happy to do such a thing, but it had made him feel less isolated. He had learned to hate isolation. He had learned to dread being alone, something that had once brought him peace._

_The little one really had made him soft._

_And now, he truly was alone._

_"You selfish son of a bitch," Sesshoumaru snarled tightly under his breath. "How dare you."_

_He had never taken Inuyasha for a suicide. The hanyou had always fought so_ _ferociously, tooth and nail, for life. And yet he'd jumped down that useless well the night of the new moon, when he was at his most weak, when his sight was worse than useless and his reaction time off. It was as if he'd wanted to die, damn him._

_He drew Tenseiga, knowing that the sword wouldn't be able to revive someone who had been dead for so long, someone whose soul had already been sent on to the next world. It was such a futile action. His jaw tightened as a small part of him waited for the healing fang to glow, to show him the pall-bearers. Of course, none of that happened. Tenseiga remained stubbornly dark, and Inuyasha remained stubbornly dead._

_He sheathed Tenseiga, suddenly hating Inuyasha. For being stupid enough and fallible enough to die. For leaving him alone. He had no one._

_"Bury him under his tree," he said to the miko behind him. "I will provide the headstone." He paused. "I expect it to be well-tended to, old woman."_

_He didn't know why he had said that. Only that some part of him did not wish to see his brother's resting place fall into disrepair. It was a stupid, useless wish. That knowledge did nothing to make the wish go away._

_"Of course, Sesshoumaru-sama, it will be," the miko returned. "Inuyasha was well-loved."_

_He resisted the urge to snarl at the remark. The bastard didn't deserve love, he deserved contempt. He didn't share that with the old woman. Instead, he once more_ _looked at his brother's face. Inuyasha did indeed look peaceful. For the first time in his life. An unfamiliar feeling welled up in Sesshoumaru, and he had difficulty swallowing._

_His feelings for his brother had never been clear, never been easy. They were even more nebulous now._

_He turned and strode to the door, shouldering the reed flap out of the way and striding out, into the dying day. He strode to the well, stood before it, watching it, hating it. In that moment, he decided to destroy the despicable thing and drew Toukijin. He held the sword for a moment, as still as the forest around him, then slowly slid the sword back into its scabbard. Destroying the well would do nothing. He closed his eyes, bowed his head, then turned and walked away._

I gave you a chance and you squandered it, _he thought bitterly._ You squandered it on a human woman, just like Chichiue. You stupid ass. I can never forgive you. Not for this. _Never_ for this.

** > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome shot to her knees, gasping.

She was trembling and crying. And feeling so ill she thought she might throw up in another few seconds.

_It was just a dream,_ she told herself frantically. _It was just a dream._

But she had felt as though she were there, had felt everything Sesshoumaru had been feeling. Why? Why had she felt his fury and disappointment and bitterness…and grief?

"Are you satisfied?" he asked flatly from beside her.

"What?" she asked, voice shaking as tears slid down her face. She looked at him. He was staring straight ahead, face obscured by shadow. But there was no mistaking the rage in his voice.

"Are you satisfied?" he repeated. "You've made me relive things I have no wish to."

Her body jerked and she reached out and steadied herself against the tree they were under.

"No," she said raggedly.

He grabbed her and slammed her into the ground, pinning her down by the throat with one deadly hand. He squeezed, his other hand ripping into the ground by her head.

"**WHY!**" he roared as he reared above her. His voice had never sounded so demonic, so livid, so feral. It was scary.

"I'm not doing it on purpose," she sobbed. "I didn't want to know—I never wanted to know! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry…."

She dissolved into tears.

Sesshoumaru glared at her, furious. With her. With himself. With Inuyasha. With Fate. She wasn't lying. He knew that she wasn't.

Oh _gods_, how he _wanted_ her to be lying.

He let go of her and rose. He walked a few feet away, stood there, flexing his hands, then spun around and lashed out at the nearest tree with his claws. And he kept taking down tree after tree, trying to get the anger under control by purging it. Behind him, the miko's sobs gradually quieted. An hour later, he stopped, still angry, still dissatisfied. Still hurting. Why wouldn't it stop? Why did being so utterly alone in the world still hurt, after fifty fucking years?

She shuffled toward him, still sniffling occasionally. He stood still, eyes staring sightlessly into the night.

"Sesshoumaru?" she whispered behind him.

He remained silent. She stepped closer, placed a light hand that was meant to be comforting on his arm. He shrugged her off with unnecessary brusqueness.

"Don't touch me," he said, voice sharp.

She retreated a step, but didn't say anything.

They stood there in silence for a long time.

"I meant what I said earlier," she murmured. "I didn't do it on purpose."

He didn't reply.

"Sesshoumaru?"

"We have an hour to sunrise," he said, turning and walking back to the camp. After a second, he heard her follow in his wake, picking her way over the demolished trees.

He settled himself against the tree he'd been sitting under before, leaning back and closing his eyes. She timidly lay back down beside him, on her blankets. She pillowed her head on the end of his pelt, as she had earlier. And, after a long pause, she had very hesitantly clutched the end of his kimono sleeve, just as she had earlier, when she had still been frightened by the youkai. He let her now because he had no desire to speak to her, afraid that if he did the darkness that lived in him would stir again and he'd kill her.

Neither one was able to go back to sleep.


	12. Jagged Little Pill

**HAPPY FREAKIN' NEW YEAR ALL.**

**WARNING**: This is the **ickiest** chapter I've typed up to date: there are some descriptions of scenes some people may not be able to handle, and since they are littered throughout the chapter, I decided against signaling where they were, so read at your own risk. Consequently, this is also the **most depressing** chapter I've typed up to date—really, I depressed myself as I was writing it. Just a heads up. But it's a really short chapter, so I won't be bombarding you with misery for pages and pages—it's only eleven pages. Like I said, I depressed myself, and by the eleventh page I had to end either the chapter or my life, and decided ending the chapter was a better idea. I'd say "enjoy," but considering the content of this one, I think that may come off a bit ghoulish, so I'll refrain.

* * *

Disclaimer: see One through Nine

* * *

Words To Know: 

hokora: small shrine

(h'm…perhaps "_Word_ To Know" would have been more correct…oh well, who gives a flying damn—on with the show)

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: Jagged Little Pill**

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_As I walk through this wicked world,_

_Searching for light in the darkness of insanity,_

_I ask myself, Is all hope lost?_

_Is there only pain, and hatred, and misery?_

"(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding?"/ A Perfect Circle

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

He smelled death.

Sesshoumaru stopped and tested the air. Yes, he smelled death: smoke and blood and decaying flesh. They would be coming upon it in another few miles.

"Something wrong?" Kagome asked timidly.

He did not answer, merely began walking again.

Kagome watched him, unsure if she should ask the question again. They hadn't spoken since last night. Not that she was eager to. He had been frightening in his rage. Kagome still felt responsible, even though she wasn't sure she was to blame. She didn't even know why she had been able to see his memories, feel his memories. She'd have to ask Miroku later tonight.

As they continued, Kagome began smelling smoke. At first, she thought it was wood-smoke from the cook fires of a nearby village. But something slid down her back, a tight coldness that made her uneasy. And with every step they took, the smell got more potent. Too potent to simply be cooking fires.

She saw dark plumes of smoke, and caught the faint, insidious hint of copper in the air. And when they stepped out of the woods, she saw what she had been dreading: where once there had been a village, there was now nothing more than smoking piles of blackened wood.

Kagome stopped and looked at the devastation, eyes watering. It seemed like every time she forgot where she was, Fate decided to remind her.

They got to the first body just ten feet from the tree line. It was a young woman, her head with its horrible glassy-eyed, terror-frozen stare laying in the grass next to her. Beside her, a small child lay disemboweled, the guts spilling over the grass in hideous imitation of streamers. Kagome felt the bile rise in her throat, but forced herself to swallow it down. She looked up at the sky, feeling her heart thud painfully against her ribs. Unfortunately, she was further sickened by the blue firmament and white clouds and sunshine. How could the sun shine so brightly over such a hideous sight?

Kagome forced herself to walk toward the village—or what was left of it—trying to ignore the corpses strewn about, trying to ignore the smell of old blood and already rotting tissue, and the more sinister scent of burning skin that clogged her nose. These people had been brutally slaughtered. Blood drenched the earth. It was…she didn't even know how to describe it. Only that she was horrified and furious.

"What did this?" she managed to ask Sesshoumaru. She refused to think that someone could have done such a thing—it had to be a thing, a monstrosity, an abomination against Nature and the gods. It had to be. Because she didn't think she'd be able to live with herself if this had been the work of another human, one of her own kind.

"A small army," he replied, the first words he'd spoken to her.

"Human?" she forced herself to ask.

"A few. Mostly youkai. This was the work of that bastard youkai."

Kagome closed her eyes and bowed her head. She'd gotten a taste of the unknown demon's power last night—now, she was seeing, first hand, the desolation it could bring.

"Wasteful, mindless slaughter," Sesshoumaru muttered. He glanced around, disgusted with such a shameful show of excess, then began walking again, obviously intent on continuing on. He stopped when he didn't hear her tread behind him.

"Miko," he said, looking over his shoulder.

She was standing there, gripping her bow so tightly he thought it might snap in two. Her head was bowed, her body held rigid. She did not reply.

"Start walking or I'll make you," he threatened.

She raised her head and looked at him. Her eyes were watering—he could smell the scent of salt water—but she held her chin taut. She was white-faced, obviously shaken.

"These people need to be buried," she said, and managed to keep her voice from shaking.

He raised an eyebrow.

"We don't have time for that," he replied, and began walking.

"Maybe _you_ don't…but _I_ do."

He stopped and turned, nostrils flaring in bad temper. He was still not over the affront of her invasion of his private thoughts and memories. He had avoided talking to her all morning, sure that if he so much as looked at her, he'd rip her apart without a second thought. He was so furious he wanted to slaughter her like some kind of mindless beast. But more than that, he wanted to insult her, wanted to demean her in any and every way possible. His youkai blood was hungry for satisfaction, the darkness was welling up, threatening to take over. It was a frightening sensation for him. He had always been able to control the darker aspects of his soul, the facets that lusted for blood and pain. But last night…last night, he'd almost snapped, and he'd come within bare inches of digging his claws into her soft flesh and ripping her open and bathing in her blood. That slip, brief though it had been, had scared him badly, which had only served to infuriate him more. Attacking the forest had been a desperate effort to satisfy the need to hurt something. But his youkai blood had wanted to hear suffering, and trees didn't scream in terror and agony when one cut them down or melted them into nothing. Miko, on the other hand, did….

"Woman," he snapped hoarsely, "you will not be happy if you persist in this stubbornness."

"I'm going to bury them, Sesshoumaru!" she shouted, furious. She began glowing. It would have been an impressive sight, if red hadn't begun filtering into his vision. "Maybe you can leave them here like this, but I can't!"

He did the only thing he could do: he left her there, in the center of the destruction. It was walk away, or kill her like an animal.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome cried while she dug the graves.

She had never truly buried the dead that the shard hunters had occasionally come upon. That had been Miroku and Inuyasha's job. She had laid flowers over the freshly turned dirt and felt sad for whoever had died. But there was no Inuyasha or Miroku around to do the dirty work. There was no Sesshoumaru either. There wasn't a single soul to give a damn but her. And even as she hated it, even as she cried, even as she threw up when the horror of it all overwhelmed her, she kept on digging grave after grave after grave and dragging body after body after body to their final, earthly resting places.

She cleaned the bodies as best she could. Those who had been beheaded were reunited with their lost skulls in their graves. Those who had been relieved of their entrails were left without them, as she couldn't bring herself to scoop up the intestines and return them to their owners. It was bad enough she had picked up disembodied heads, almost all of them with the eyes still wide open, looking ahead at nothing with the same awful glassy-eyed, terror-frozen stare the first woman she'd seen had been wearing. She forced herself to shut the eyes, an action which triggered her gag reflex every time without fail, until her stomach began to ache.

In the end, she was as exhausted by the work of burying seventy-odd people as she was by the work of mourning each and every one of them. Especially since she did both simultaneously.

There had been no sign of Sesshoumaru, for which Kagome was glad. She wanted to be alone, away from him. She almost wished he'd forget she was here, forget she existed. She was tired of him. She was tired of death. She wanted to go home, or better yet, she wanted this to be a nightmare. She wanted to awaken and be at home, in her bed, safe and far away from all this unspeakable suffering. Once upon a time, she had wanted to live out her life in this place, with Inuyasha. Now, she bitterly cursed herself for such blind foolishness. This era was about hunger and deprivation. Misery and pain. But above all, it was about blood and death—here, Death was a king. And he feasted on the blood of innocents.

She sat, back bowed, before the graves she'd dug and filled. She hated them suddenly. She hated them for reminding her. She wasn't fifteen and innocent anymore. She was twenty-seven, nearly twenty-eight. And she could no longer dismiss the more unpleasant aspects of life, because they were happening to her, in front of her.

"How could you stand being brought into such a dismal place?" she asked the new rows of mounds of dirt.

There was no answer, of course. Just the wind stirring the long grass as the sun went down.

She blessed the graves and said prayers for the souls, as Miroku had been teaching her in her dreams. He had been supplementing her spiritual education in addition to helping her learn to control her ki. She supposed she ought to be thankful that he'd provided her with the ability to send these unfortunate people on to the next world. But all she could do was sit there and wish they had never been born. Wish that she had never fallen through the well for a second time.

"It's my own fucking fault," she whispered hollowly. "If I'd just stayed out of that fucking hokora in the first place, I never would have come back here. I hate this place. I hate the suffering and the death and the misery. I hate it."

She looked down at her hands. They were badly blistered from the rough wooden handle of the shovel she'd used all day, lined with dirt and caked with blood. Her robes were equally soiled: the white haori was smudged with dirt…and the red hakama were stained dark from walking through blood all day long. She stared down at her dirty, bleeding hands as if she'd never seen them before in her life. She felt herself retreating, felt herself mentally retiring from the immediate situation. It was easier to deal with it if she pretended she was an outsider observing. If only for a little while. Because sooner or later, reality would intrude again, and she'd have to get up.

Just before she retreated completely, she threw back her head and yelled, voice anguished,

"It wasn't supposed to be like this!"

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

He hadn't forgotten.

Kagome lifted her head when she heard the barest whisper of a tread behind her. She felt his youki, knew who it was, and sighed in resignation. He was back for her.

Sesshoumaru watched her stir. He had thought she had fallen asleep in front of the graves. That, or been meditating. And yet, he knew the second one couldn't be a possibility, because he had heard her tortured cry earlier, and someone so full of despair wouldn't be meditating any time soon. And, surprisingly or perhaps not so surprisingly, he had been able to relate to both the turmoil of feeling in the voice and the sentiment of the words:

It _wasn't_ supposed to be like this.

Well then…how _was_ it supposed to be? He didn't know. But he was certain it wasn't supposed to be _this_.

"Miko," he said quietly.

"Sesshoumaru," she returned tiredly, voice barely audible.

"Get up."

For once, she didn't argue: she slowly got to her feet and turned around. And walked away from the graves without a backward glance. He fell into step beside her, and they walked in silence from the ruin. Neither one said anything about stopping. In truth, neither one wished to stop. They only wanted to get away, wanted to outdistance the village and what it represented: a bitter loss of innocence and a grim testament of things to come.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

They walked all through the next day, silent. The mood was heavy, oppressive, but for once, Kagome couldn't find it in her to give a damn.

They came across another slaughtered village. This time, Sesshoumaru didn't say a word when Kagome found and picked up a broken shovel and walked toward the small cemetery. He didn't help her. He wanted no part of this. He dealt death—he did not stay around to pick up the pieces. That wasn't his job, his place. Instead, he watched her, leaving the village and standing in the mid-day gloom of the forest. She worked with an economy of movement he hadn't thought her possible of, efficient, if a little—all right, _more_ than a little—world-weary. She looked worn down.

He watched her silently clean a mangled body, drag it to a grave, roll it in, pick up the shovel and cover the corpse, then go back to another and do it all over again. This village was smaller than the other one; there were only fifty-eight people to attend to here.

When she had buried the last body, she stood in front of the fresh mounds and performed whatever burial rituals humans did, then picked up her pack and bow and walked toward the wood where he stood. And again, as before, he fell into step beside her and they silently walked away from the gruesome scene.

Idly, he noted that the sun was shining through the tree tops.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

They camped that night.

Each went through the familiar motions: he picked a tree to settle down under and proceeded to do just that. She prepared a sparse dinner, cleaned up and spread her blankets, then went to the river to bathe. She returned and combed out her hair.

They sat in silence for almost an hour. Then:

"Where did you go the other day, after leaving the first village?" she asked quietly, voice soft and tired.

"Hunting," he said finally, after a long pause.

She was quiet for a beat.

"Successful?"

He paused again.

"Hai."

She nodded, put her comb away and tied back her hair. Then she went to the blankets she had spread out next to him, and lay down and covered herself up. Sesshoumaru watched the fire, not really seeing anything. Kagome reached out and took hold of his kimono sleeve.

"I hate this place." she said quietly.

He didn't reply, and they didn't speak anymore that night.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_Miroku was waiting for her when she appeared on the dreamscape._

_"Kagome-sama," he said, his voice heavy with feeling._

_"Why am I seeing Sesshoumaru's memories?" she asked bluntly._

_Miroku watched her, then extended a hand toward her. She accepted it, and he turned and gave her a hand a tug before letting go._

_"Keep up," he said. She had a feeling he didn't just mean walking._

_He waited until they had walked several feet before answering:_

_"It has something to do with your ki, Kagome-sama. While you sleep, your ki is attempting to heal you."_

_"What?" she asked, startled. Of all the possible explanations she'd come up with, she had not been expecting this one._

_Miroku nodded, hands folded behind his back._

_"Your soul has been dealt a heavy blow, Kagome-sama. It is in your ki's nature to do two things: heal and destroy. Sometimes separately, sometimes simultaneously. In this case, only healing is needed. For your ki to heal you, it seeks the assistance of another, equally potent energy. In this case, Sesshoumaru-sama."_

_"I don't understand," Kagome said._

_"To be truthful, I don't either, but that's what's going on." Miroku returned with a shrug. "The two energies seem to work well with each other. So well, that you are able to establish a sort of mental connection. You have the ability to see into his mind, and he has the ability to see into yours. However, from the looks of things, he hasn't."_

_Kagome sent him a wary but curious stare._

_"What do you mean by that?" she asked suspiciously._

_Miroku sighed._

_"He was rather upset, wasn't he?"_

_"You saw that?"_

_"I_ felt _it," Miroku corrected. "Every soul in the next world did. Kagome, you_ _aren't the only one in pain. We can feel it, in the next world, how you suffer. But your pain isn't nearly as profound as Sesshoumaru-sama's. His has had fifty years to fester, like disease, inside of him. His is the kind of pain that makes souls hurt."_

_Kagome reflected on that, and decided that Miroku was right. She remembered the pain he'd felt, the bitter rage and regret and grief. He hadn't quite loved his brother, but he_ _had felt_ something _for Inuyasha. Something forceful enough to move him to want to destroy the well that had been his brother's downfall. In a way, she had been surprised by the amount of emotion that had accompanied Inuyasha's death, given that Sesshoumaru had never given an inkling of his feelings for his younger brother outside of scorn. Then again, she shouldn't have been so amazed: still waters ran deep, after all._

_A thought occurred to her:_

_"Is my ki contacting his youki right now?" she asked, suddenly very nervous._

_Miroku nodded, and smiled faintly at the expression on her face._

_"Don't worry, you won't be delving into his memories tonight. Tonight, your ki is offering his soul a little comfort. Why do you think you sleep so heavily? The opposite energies fit together very well. Complementary pieces to a puzzle, if you will."_

_"How come?"_

_"Because the nature of the energies is so different, for one. For another, they are energies of equal power. If you were a youkai, Kagome-sama, you'd be a taiyoukai." Miroku grinned, struck by a rather amusing thought suddenly. "I wonder, what would your arguments with Sesshoumaru-sama be like then?"_

_"Bloody," Kagome absently supplied. "Life-or-death, take-no-prisoners, last-one-left-breathing-wins kind of deals."_

_Miroku raised an eyebrow. "Good thing you aren't one then, eh?"_

_"M'm-h'm."_

_They walked a bit farther._

_"Anything else?" Miroku asked, voice friendly._

_"No, no other questions."_

_"In that case, I'd like to compliment you on the fine job you did with the burials."_

_Kagome flinched ever so slightly, but didn't stop walking._

_"Arigatou," she said, voice hollow._

_"Kagome-sama, it's a fact of life."_

_"I know. It was just never a fact of my life. Not that vividly, anyway."_

_Miroku nodded._

_"If it's any consolation, all the souls are at peace now."_

_Kagome shrugged. Miroku sighed._

_"It doesn't get any easier, Kagome-sama," he said wearily. "An inextricable part of living is dying."_

_"I know," she said, voice hushed. "But I still hate it."_

_"I know. You hate it because of who you are, Kagome-sama. If you don't mind my saying it, you were always a tender-hearted person. People like you find it difficult to accept death. It's simply the nature of your personality."_

_"Yeah, well it sucks," Kagome retorted succinctly._

_Miroku smiled gently._

_"Be that as it may…it changes nothing."_

_Kagome sighed. "I know," she said with quiet bitterness. Then, something that had been floating around in the back of her mind suddenly pushed its way to the front of her consciousness._

_"Miroku-sama?" Kagome said slowly._

_"H'm?"_

_"The other night, when I met that youkai, more or less, for the first time, it said something about Inuyasha and Kikyou being in hell together."_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"But that's impossible—I have Kikyou's soul." Kagome protested. "I mean, I'm her reincarnation."_

_Miroku smiled at her and stopped to settle down on the path in lotus pose. He gestured to_ _the "ground" next to him._

_"You'd better sit down for this, Kagome-sama."_

_It sounded ominous to her, and she sat down, mimicking him, warily._

_"What?" she asked._

_"It's not impossible at all."_

_"Bullshit it isn't!" _

_Miroku held up a hand. "Kagome-sama, let me finish. Agreed?"_

_She grumbled under her breath, but jerked her head yes. Miroku nodded._

_"It's true: you are Kikyou-sama's reincarnation. However, your proper time period—that is, the year of your birth—is several centuries in the future at this point. And while souls are waiting to be reincarnated, they receive their judgment and serve penance in hell. Once they have performed their penance, they are reborn. Still with me so far?"_

_Kagome nodded._

_"In Kikyou-sama's case, she was supposed to die, serve penance in hell, be reborn, die again, serve penance again, and then be reborn as you, Kagome-sama."_

_"Wait a minute," Kagome blurted. "You mean Kikyou came back as someone else before me?"_

_"Hai, that is correct."_

_"Who?"_

_Miroku smiled._

_"Rin."_

_The air left Kagome's lungs and she stared at the houshi in shock. It took her several minutes of gaping before she was able to say:_

_"Rin?"_

_"Hai."_

_"Rin-chan? The little girl Sesshoumaru adopted—_that_ Rin?"_

_"Hai."_

_"Holy crap."_

_Miroku threw back his head and laughed._

_"But how—I don't—Miroku—" Kagome sputtered, not sure what she wanted to say. Not even sure what to think._

_Miroku wiped his eyes and smiled at her sadly._

_"Kagome-sama, originally, Kikyou-sama and Inuyasha were supposed to live out their lives together. Inuyasha was supposed to use the Shikon no Tama to become human, and he and Kikyou-sama were to marry. Upon their deaths, they would go to hell, receive their respective judgments and punishments, and then be reborn. Kikyou-sama would then come back as Rin, and Inuyasha…well, we aren't sure who he was supposed to be—"_

_"Because it never happened," Kagome finished._

_Miroku nodded, all levity gone from his expression._

_"Onigumo was not supposed to become Naraku. He was supposed to die. Unfortunately, he offered himself to the lesser youkai in order to defile the Shikon no Tama, and Kikyou-sama in the process. The powers that be never dreamed that Onigumo's soul was so twisted. Kikyou-sama died before her time, and Inuyasha never did. When she went to hell, she received her judgment, but did not serve her penance, because what was supposed to happen never did. She was reborn as Rin, who was supposed to fulfill the destiny that had been interrupted by Naraku."_

_"That didn't happen either, did it?" Kagome said, aching for Kikyou. She had never particularly liked her incarnation, but that didn't mean she couldn't feel bad that the other woman had been thwarted not once but twice. Three times, even, if one counted Kagome._

_Miroku shook his head._

_"You came through the well before it could happen."_

_Kagome looked startled. Miroku nodded._

_"Originally, the plan was for Rin to be born with the Shikon no Tama in her body, not you. But—to simplify things for the purposes of clarity—the orders were confused, and the Shikon was mistakenly implanted in you. To fix the mistake, you were brought through the well. Unfortunately, Inuyasha fell in love with you, not Rin, and he never wished on the Shikon—you did. In order to try, once again, to fix the mistake, the powers that be decided you were to go back to your proper era. Only, the damage had already been done: events had already been set into motion that would ensure that Rin did not end up with Inuyasha."_

_"She married someone else," Kagome murmured, and Miroku nodded._

_"Fate got it right this time, however: they died around the same time, and their souls descended to hell, where they underwent their respective judgments and received their respective penances. They dwelt there together until Kikyou-sama's soul was once again reborn—in you, Kagome-sama."_

_"And…Inuyasha?"_

_Miroku scratched his chin thoughtfully._

_"Inuyasha's soul is mystery. I'm sorry, Kagome-sama."_

_Kagome sighed and closed her eyes._

_"This is…incredible," she said, opening her eyes to look at her old friend. A thought occurred:_

_"Miroku? Was Rin-chan supposed to be adopted by Sesshoumaru?"_

_"Hai. Rin was supposed to die and be brought back to life by the Tenseiga. She was supposed to become Sesshoumaru-sama's ward. She was supposed to soften the youkai lord's heart for humans. And once she had done that, Inuyasha would have shown up, reborn as whoever it was he was supposed to be, and fallen in love with her." Miroku looked at Kagome. "That's the reason you fell in love with Inuyasha, Kagome-sama. The destiny of the souls was never allowed to come to fruition. Your soul, first Kikyou's, then Rin's, had found its long-lost partner, and wished to carry out the fate that had been written."_

_Kagome swallowed dryly._

_"What are you saying?" she asked. "I was never supposed to be with Inuyasha?"_

_Miroku shrugged. "I can't say for certain what was intended for you in the beginning, Kagome. I can't say for certain what is intended for you now."_

_Kagome watched him._

_"Then I'm in the same place I've always been," she said bitterly. "It sucks having the tools and not the blueprints."_

_Miroku sent her a blank look that made her chuckle, though there was no humor in it._

_"Never you mind me, Miroku-sama," she said with a negligent wave of her hand. "I'm just spouting crap." She paused. "Question."_

_"Ask it," Miroku replied._

_"If Rin-chan was Kikyou's reincarnation, like me, why wasn't she affected when Urasue used me to bring Kikyou back?"_

_Miroku grinned._

_"Because Rin was exactly where she belonged."_

_"Huh?" Kagome brilliantly returned._

_Miroku's grin widened._

_"Kagome-sama, you were from the future. Technically, you didn't belong here in the first place. Kikyou-sama had died fifty years prior. Her soul had already been reborn into Rin. Kikyou-sama had no business being here either. The two of you were the interlopers, not her. You and Kikyou-sama were able to coexist because you were sharing a soul from the future. When Kikyou-sama died, the rest of your soul returned to you, and everything was as it should have been."_

_"I wouldn't have been able to stay," Kagome said._

_There was a long pause. _

_"No," Miroku agreed quietly at long last. "You couldn't. You were sent back to the future the second the Shikon was wished on. It was the way it had been planned from the start. No one took into account that Kikyou-sama's soul would recognize Inuyasha and you would fall in love with him, or vice versa."_

_Kagome didn't reply. Instead, she sat in silence, staring at the path underneath her blankly._

_"I still love him," she said quietly, with feeling._

_"You always will," Miroku said. "Destiny was interfered with, the souls were denied their earthly happiness. It's cold comfort indeed that they were only able to find peace together in hell, but that's the way it turned out."_

_"Will I ever be happy without him?" Kagome asked softly._

_"I don't know, Kagome-sama," Miroku replied honestly. "We will simply have to wait and see what Fate brings."_

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome awakened the next morning at the same time Sesshoumaru did. And the first thing out of her mouth was:

"I know why I could see your memories."

Sesshoumaru froze, staring straight ahead. It had taken him a long time to "forget" that episode.

"Miko—" he began, voice menacing.

"It's my ki's fault, Sesshoumaru," she said quietly. "It's trying to help me heal, and it was just looking for some help from an equally powerful energy. Yours happens to be a match." She shifted her head, looked up at him. "I'm sorry. I didn't know I was doing it, or I would have stopped sooner. I never meant to invade your privacy like that."

He was quiet for a long time.

"I knew it was your ki," he said finally. "And I'm aware that you weren't conscious of what you were doing." His gaze flickered down to her. "You are pardoned."

She smiled at him. "Arigatou," she returned. Then she sat up and yawned. "I'm starving." she announced as she threw the blankets back and got up to stir up the fire.

"Good for you," he returned, closing his eyes again and leaning his head back against the tree. It was going to take her a good twenty minutes to get ready. And if he was going to be made to wait, he was going to be comfortable.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

They were following Death.

Sesshoumaru and Kagome came upon yet another destroyed village. Once again, Kagome attended to the dead. Once again, Sesshoumaru watched impassively from the trees.

He didn't share what he knew with her, that these people had been tortured to death—he knew because their fear and tears still hung heavy in the air, as did the smell of blood and sweat and semen. She knew some of that already from the bodies she found. She saw men who'd been mutilated and woman who'd been raped. Children had faired no better. He watched her go through the motions, smelled her tears joining those of the dead. She threw up again, and stayed there on her hands and knees for a long time, shaking violently and gagging painfully every so often. She stayed like that for so long, he thought she wasn't going to do this duty she forced onto herself, made herself complete…tortured herself with.

But she slowly got to her feet, wiped her mouth on her sleeve and continued on, cleaning bodies and digging graves and burying the slaughtered. She continued on doggedly, and when she was done and had said her prayers over them and joined him in the wood, she was still crying. He merely turned and began walking ever westward.

"It's not supposed to be like this," she whispered from behind him.

He paused, glanced at her over his shoulder. She was standing where he'd left her, tightly gripping her bow in white-knuckled hands. She looked thin and fragile and human, so horribly, _achingly_ human….

"But it is," he said coolly and faced forward once more.

Kagome watched him, tears falling from her eyes.

"But it is," she whispered bitterly as she followed after him.

High above the tree tops, the sun shone brighter than it had since her arrival.

* * *

A/N: Don't you just want to kill yourself? Also, on an entirely unrelated note, I just realized that in my note in Chapter Ten, the website where I got the lyrics and translation from didn't come out, so here it is again, for anyone who was wondering: www ear-tweak com. See you guys next time. 


	13. Building A Mystery

**WARNING**: Again, this chapter has a queasy scene, so anyone with a weak constitution might want to refrain from reading that particular scene, which I have made a note of.

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Disclaimer: see Chapters One through Nine

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Words to Know: 

senshi: warrior

fusuma: sliding doors, usually extensively decorated

tansu: chest of drawers

shoji: sliding screen doors, usually found separating rooms, as opposed to fusuma, which are generally used as hall doors

andon: lampstand

shika: deer

tatami: Japanese straw floor coverings; also used to measure the size of a room

-san: the standard, all-purpose honorific; roughly equivalent to the English "Mr/Mrs"

kayu: a watery, rice gruel, soft cooked rice that resembles oatmeal. It's easy on the digestion and as such is often given to the sick

seiza: formal way of sitting, wherein one kneels and sits on one's heels, more or less, and the elbows are drawn close to the body giving the person seated a stiff appearance

tekko: wrist and arm guards/covers

doumo: thanks, casual version of "Thank you very much"

domburi: a dish of cooked rice with some other food on top of it, usually some kind of meat, seafood and vegetables

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: Building A Mystery**

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_'Cause now I see,_

_You are not what you seem to be,_

_You are a mystery to me—_

_Sometimes I just want to scream_

"Ragdoll"/ Maroon 5

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

They continued westward, and continued coming upon villages that had been attacked and annihilated. Kagome continued burying the dead. Sesshoumaru continued not helping. It became their new routine, their new rhythm.

Kagome had never despised order so passionately in her life.

She stopped suddenly, and threw her bow onto the ground. Luckily, it merely bounced before toppling over onto the dirt. Ahead of her, Sesshoumaru stopped and looked over his shoulder, mildly irritated and wondering what was wrong now; they were officially in his domain, and they would be reaching his shiro within the next two or three days. He despised walking, anxious as he was to get back to his ancestral home and make sure it was still standing, but to move any faster, he'd have to carry the miko, either physically or on his cloud of youki. It wouldn't do to be attacked while he was "holding" the woman, since he would have to care what happened to her, and he knew that his enemy's minions were lurking in the forests of his realm, waiting for an opportune moment to attack him. He knew he wouldn't be killed; that would have ruined the twisted delight his enemy took in their grim conflict. But he would certainly be badly wounded, and that wasn't a possibility at this point, not when he was so close.

"What now?" he asked, voice tinged with annoyance.

"I'm tired of death!" she yelled back, stamping her foot.

He stared at her, then slowly blinked. She had her fists balled at her sides like a child having a tantrum. She was glaring at him as if he was the cause of her present distress, and all in all looked like a mutinous little girl who had been denied a bedtime story. It was an image that disturbed his peace and stirred remembrances. So he did what seemed like the most logical course of action:

"Shut up and keep walking you insufferable chit."

Her glare deepened. "Go fuck yourself."

"Fortunately for me that is physically impossible," he replied, eyes narrowing, "and unfortunately for you, I do not take kindly to disrespect."

"You can't know how little I care what you do or do not take kindly to, Asshole," Kagome shot back.

"As a matter of fact, I do know—about as little as I care what you care about," Sesshoumaru returned. "You've wasted enough of my time. Now walk, bitch, or gods help me, I'll make you."

Kagome stalked up to him, stuck her face in his and glared at him in challenge.

"Go ahead, make me," she taunted.

Sesshoumaru grabbed her, but immediately let go when he ki flared to life, illuminating her hands in a manner most threatening.

"Oh, so you wish to make this more difficult for yourself?" he asked.

"Nope—I'm in the mood to blow off some steam, and you're the handiest target," Kagome said, abruptly drawing her sword and swinging.

Sesshoumaru dodged and drew Toukijin. They had never used live swords before, less for her own protection than his. The demon lord, for all that his pupil had learned, didn't believe for a moment that she was ready to use a sword that wasn't fake. But it seemed that decision was out of his hands now—it was draw or get the hell carved out of his hide, and he wasn't keen on the latter option in the least.

The swords clashed, the steel crashing loudly, and the two opposite energies met violently, Toukijin's blue light colliding against the miko sword's white light. The violent force of the clash pushed them back, away from each other, the opposite energies repelling each other. Sesshoumaru felt as surprised as Kagome looked; she was holding her sword out in front of her, in the exact same position she'd been in when the weapons had met, staring at her blade in astonishment. Both weapons, still glowing threateningly, were smoking.

"That can't be good," he murmured, eyeing Toukijin's shining edge. He abruptly sheathed his sword, then looked at the miko, who appeared to have gotten over her surprise and was now glaring at him in vivid hate. "Play-time is over, Miko."

"I'm not finished, Dickhead!" she roared rather Inuyasha-like, and somewhere not too far away, her belligerent reply caused a flock of birds to scatter from their tree-top perch.

His eyes narrowed and he leapt at her, moving too fast for her to make him out. He grabbed her wrist and twisted, forcing her to let go of her sword, which was beginning to shake violently.

"Control it or I snap your hand off," he said darkly, his gaze pinning hers.

"I don't feel like it," she returned, voice dangerously low.

"Too bad," he replied, twisting a little bit more, just enough to convince her that he had every intention of making good on his threat. And he did: his beast still hungered for the miko's life blood, still wanted to hear her scream. And even though he was able to fight the beast back, it was becoming harder and harder to ignore and deny his instincts as a youkai. It really would be so much easier to grab her by the neck and slit her throat….

The more she watched him, the more Kagome became convinced that something was terribly wrong inside the demon before her. His youki was gathering around him, but not to protect him, the way it usually did when their tempers got the better of them (which was happening increasingly as the days went by). No, this wasn't _defensive_, for lack of a better term—it was _offensive_.

"Fine," she snapped, willing the sword to fall silent even as her ki hummed around her, gathering, waiting for a battle.

The demon lord let go of her wrist—he seemed almost reluctant—turned and walked away from her. Kagome leaned down and picked up her sword, then straightened and shut her eyes, her hand tightening on the sword hilt spastically.

"Miko," Sesshoumaru's voice lashed out, impatient and pissed.

So Kagome did what seemed like the most logical course of action: she screamed, a loud, wordless yell into which she poured all her frustration and anger and hate and despair and grief and guilt, and she screamed until she ran out of breath.

She stood there for a second, shaking and panting, then sheathed her sword and walked forward, stooping down briefly to pick up her bow. It had not been quite the release she had been hoping for, but it was going to have to do for now.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

**(SKIP THIS IF YOU'RE SQUEAMISH)**

Of course, it got worse before it got better, but Kagome hadn't thought it could get much worse than the slaughtering of villages.

So much for a miko's intuition.

Her first clue that something foul was afoot was Sesshoumaru. He had been walking along quite fluidly, managing to walk fast without looking as if he was, when he'd started to slow down and sniff the air every now and again. Kagome had learned to dread his catching a scent—it invariably led to lifeless, butchered bodies. But he kept walking, and didn't say anything. That was new; he usually said something appropriately macabre, like, "Death," or "Blood." She began to think that perhaps they were past the death and gore.

Not quite, Fate said, and once more forcibly reminded Kagome exactly where she was.

Sesshoumaru stopped all of a sudden, and Kagome stopped just behind him, wondering what was wrong. And that was when she caught the metallic scent of blood hanging thick in the air. But there was something different about the smell this time, a stifling, sickening heaviness to it…like something rotting in the sun. Her stomach knotting, Kagome edged around Sesshoumaru slowly and peeked out from behind him, dread choking her. The forest floor ahead of her was saturated with black blood. It had obviously been sitting there for quite some time…as had the dismembered bodies.

Kagome gagged, pressed the back of her hand to her mouth, eyes wide with horror and face white. It was impossible to tell how many people had been killed here; their bodies had been ripped apart and scattered about, and the carrion beasts had been picking at what was left. The longer she stared, the more she took in: blood spatter on the tree trunks; bits of bone peeking out of the congealed gore on the forest floor; bits of brain sticking to bloody leaves and bark—it had taken her a while to identify it, but she had dissected a sheep's brain in college and it was an experience one tended not to forget, particularly if one was nauseous throughout the entire procedure.

"Oh gods," she whimpered, gagging again.

"Not here they aren't," Sesshoumaru said darkly. He walked farther, stopping just short of the gore, the tips of his immaculate boots just shy of being soiled. "One of my patrols," he said after a moment, voice emotionless.

"Oh gods, I'm sorry," Kagome whispered, pressing her hand tighter against her mouth in a desperate bid not to throw up.

He didn't seem to hear her. He stood there for a moment, as if observing something as mundane as grass growing, then turned and walked back to her. He grabbed her about the waist and leapt up into the air without warning, and Kagome held onto him for dear life and shut her eyes tightly, her stomach still threatening to rebel.

_Oh gods, please don't let me throw up on him,_ she prayed desperately.

**(SQUEAMISHNESS DANGER PAST)**

It took her several minutes to settle herself, but she refused to loosen her grip on him or open her eyes; if she was going to fall out of the sky to her death, she'd prefer not to see it, thank you very much.

"You just left them there," she said finally.

"It was where I found them," he returned, voice still emotionless.

His callousness appalled her.

"Sesshoumaru!" She finally opened her eyes and looked over at him. "They were murdered like animals—no, worse! How can you just leave them behind like that, no prayers for their souls or anything? _They_ _died_ _for_ _you_!"

He finally met her gaze, and if he hadn't had her tucked under his arm, she would have shrunken back, away from him. His eyes were so detached, so empty, so dead, that she felt cold inside. This was different from the way he used to look. When she'd been younger, he'd been frightening because he was so emotionless, as if he lacked a conscience. Now, he was frightening because she looked into his eyes, and saw nothing reflected back at her—still no emotion, but now no soul, either.

"And that's exactly what they were supposed to do," he said, voice so impassive that it raised goose bumps on her body.

And that's exactly what she was supposed to do too.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

The man—demon—might have been a cold, ruthless bastard, but Kagome had to admit: he had some swanky digs.

The House of the Moon was a shiro rising defiantly from the side of a mountain. In fact, the five story pagoda, the tallest structure in the compound, rose up into the sky like a very elegant finger that plainly said, "Fuck you."

It appeared that either Sesshoumaru or his father had opted against tradition and had chosen not to have more than two white plaster walls surrounding the House of the Moon. The smaller of the two surrounded the palace proper, five low buildings and the pagoda—all of which stood slightly off center—while the larger one encircled various other buildings of various shapes, designs and sizes dotting the expansive grounds. There were three small towers of more or less equal distances from each other interrupting the continuity of the wall, which also held the main gate.

Kagome spied a huge garden complex just behind the palace proper. The palace itself was an impressive structure of three stories with many roof layers and combinations of shapes, as was the pagoda and the towers. Together, the five structures created an awe-inspiring effect as one approached, and the white plaster and gray roof tiles added to the shiro's overall beauty.

Sesshoumaru landed before the massive stone wall protecting the approach. The doors were enormous, and crafted of some kind of metal; Kagome saw the reflection of the sun off them. He set her down before the doors, then lifted a hand and brought it down sharply. Kagome winced: it was a lucky thing he wasn't human, or the force of that blow would have broken his hand. She noticed, now that she was standing before it, that the gate had been abused, as had the wall it was embedded in—there were deep gouges in the plaster, and the metal was dented in several places.

"Your wall's looking a little worse for wear," she commented, looking back at him.

"It's to be expected," was the reply as the doors slowly opened.

Gaunt, nervous faces—youkai faces—greeted them. Kagome was stunned; these people looked half dead from exhaustion. And they looked so happy to see Sesshoumaru …until they saw her, that is.

Kagome knew that hatred of humans among youkai wasn't at all uncommon; Sesshoumaru was a paradigm of that hatred, not an anomaly. She had encountered that reaction among youkai often during the two years she'd spent with Inuyasha. But it had been a long time since she'd come face to face with that hostility, and Kagome's memory of wrongs done her had never been very good—she had always preferred to remember pleasant things.

The expressions on the youkai faces upon seeing her froze for a second, shock etched onto haunted features, and then already stiff muscles stiffened further, and cold hatred, an old animosity, rose up into their eyes when they looked at her. She tried not to be offended. Youkai and humans had been at odds for centuries—it had been idiocy for her think for even a second that she would be accepted among them without issue or complaint.

"Hi," she said weakly.

Sesshoumaru glanced over his shoulder at her, then at his senshi, and seemed to realize what she already had.

"Follow me, Miko—we have much to discuss," he said, stepping through the gate.

Kagome stared after him, stunned that he hadn't acknowledged his senshi at all; they stared after him as well, also stunned, though their surprise had more to do with their lord and master inviting—more or less—a human who was also a miko into the House of the Moon.

"My life just gets progressively weirder," Kagome murmured, rubbing her forehead, as she walked after him.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

"Sesshoumaru-sama! You've returned!" Jaken gushed, bowing lowly as his lord passed through the doors to his study. The retainer's euphoria died, however, when he saw the human woman in miko garb three steps behind his master.

Jaken and the rest of his advisors were the only people Sesshoumaru had informed of his plan to use Inuyasha's miko to defeat their mysterious enemy. So he wasn't really surprised that the woman was there. That she was still so young, yes, but not that she was there. He just wasn't pleased with the idea of another human in the shiro. It felt blasphemous, as if the woman were trying to usurp Rin's place, and Jaken had grown fond of his young charge; he had been just as devastated by her abrupt demise as his lord, though looking at Sesshoumaru, one would never have guessed that he'd been at all affected.

Jaken eyed the woman balefully. She was very thin and pale and her clothing was dirty. All in all, she didn't look as though the trip had been at all easy for her. She looked down and saw him before he could turn away, and Jaken was struck by the pathos in her eyes. It startled him, quite frankly, and he held her gaze for several beats longer than he would have had he not made eye contact.

Sesshoumaru stopped short upon stepping into his study. There was someone waiting for him. The unknown visitor glanced over his shoulder, then turned fully and faced the taiyoukai. Sesshoumaru was immediately wary; he didn't recognize this person or his scent…in fact, the youkai didn't seem to have one, as far as Sesshoumaru could tell. He only knew the man was youkai because of his youki, and pointed ears and crimson eyes.

_And fangs,_ Sesshoumaru added, his eyes narrowed, as the youkai smiled.

"Ah, Sesshoumaru-sama," the youkai said, bowing lowly.

Kagome tore her gaze from Jaken's at the sound of the youkai's voice, her pale face blanching further as a familiar wave of youki suddenly hit her. Oh gods…. She looked for the source of the voice and youki, and her blue-gray gaze clashed with a crimson one she'd never seen before. The owner of the eyes smiled wider.

"Kagome," he said, bowing again, his gaze never leaving her.

Kagome's breath hitched audibly in her chest.

Sesshoumaru's eyes whipped to the woman standing just behind him, to his right. She looked as though she'd seen a ghost. His eyes returned to the youkai before him. He should have fucking guessed:

"You loathsome son of a bitch," Sesshoumaru snarled quietly, barely able to keep from baring his fangs.

The youkai's smile widened, but his eyes remained fixed on Kagome, who had begun to gather her ki.

"Little miko," the youkai murmured, and Kagome flinched violently at the endearment. "It's been far too long, hasn't it?"

"Shut up," Kagome said, voice shaking. She was so wrought up, Sesshoumaru couldn't tell if her voice was shaking because she was frightened or because she was angry.

The youkai tutted, and began walking toward her. Kagome stiffened and began to edge closer to Sesshoumaru, who had his hand on Toukijin and was just waiting for the right moment to draw his weapon.

"Ah ah ah," the youkai said, shaking a finger in mocking reproach. "You stay right where you are, little miko. Sesshoumaru-sama isn't going to be helping little useless you."

Sesshoumaru felt something change in the miko's aura. It took him a second to figure out what he was picking up on: she was angry. Pissed, even.

"I'm not useless, asshole," Kagome said through gritted teeth.

The youkai chuckled, still drawing ever closer.

"Ooo, this little miko has claws. How amusing. But tell me, little miko: what can a copy do that the original couldn't do hundreds of times better?"

"You shut the fuck up!" Kagome bellowed, her entire body exploding into blinding white light.

The youkai threw back his head and began laughing again. And Sesshoumaru decided it was now or never. Because if he didn't do something fast, the miko might just purify everyone. She had gotten better at controlling her ki—she could pretty much use it at will nowadays—but she wasn't anywhere near containing it. In a blur too quick to follow, he drew Toukijin and sliced through the youkai. The youkai melted into smoke and dissipated into the air before their eyes. His laughter, however, echoed through the room all around them, maliciously mocking.

Sesshoumaru sheathed his sword and looked around at Kagome. Her ki had receded and she was slumped on the floor, shaking. He felt his annoyance grow: the stupid bitch had used too much energy.

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru snapped, though his voice was quiet.

The toad started out of his stupor and tore his gaze from the miko to his lord as he scrambled to stand by him.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Escort the miko to a chamber. Make sure she eats something and rests. Then, bring her here."

"Immediately Sesshoumaru-sama," the toad said, bowing lowly. Jaken ventured hesitantly to the miko's side. "Human, on your feet."

She stayed where she was as if she hadn't heard him.

"Get up Miko," Sesshoumaru said, his voice dark with menace. Jaken shivered at the tone, more afraid of his lord at that particular moment than he'd been for several decades…but it got the woman moving. She got to her feet unsteadily and followed Jaken meekly out of the study, the fusuma sliding shut quietly behind them.

Sesshoumaru stood there for a moment, then slowly walked to his desk, circled around behind it and wearily dropped down onto the pillow with a sigh. He leaned his elbows on the gleaming wood, interlaced his fingers before his mouth. He stared ahead at nothing in silence for a long while.

"And so it begins," he murmured.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

The miko threw up when she got to the chamber. Lucky for her—and Jaken—there was a pot in the adjoining room for nocturnal calls of nature.

Jaken listened to her retch, at a loss as to what he should do. It had been over fifty years since he'd dealt with the delicate human constitution, and he hadn't really been much help way back then either, unless being helpful included fetching human healers, in which case he'd been a godsend.

She stumbled out of the adjoining room and collapsed onto the bed, a futon on a raised platform. Jaken watched her, then cleared his throat.

"Er…are you hungry?" he asked politely.

"No," the woman weakly returned. "Just…no."

The little retainer scratched his head, then shrugged. True, Sesshoumaru-sama had said she was to eat first and rest later, but there was nothing that said that particular order of operation was written in stone. Let the woman do what she pleased…especially after the frightening display of power he'd witnessed.

"Very well then. I shall return in two hours with food." he announced importantly, then slid the door shut before she could protest. He waddled down the hallway frowning. It was not often that he doubted his lord, but Jaken had an uneasy feeling about the miko.

"Nothing good can come of this," the toad glumly predicted.

Kagome, meanwhile, pushed herself onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Her stomach was still twisting and roiling like a fish in her body, and she was sweating and shaking. Well that had been a GROSS miscalculation on her part.

She couldn't remember the last time her ki had made her sick—in fact, she couldn't remember a time when her ki had made her sick, period. She wasn't sure if her being so physically exhausted, or if the evil rolling off the youkai apparition, had caused such an adverse reaction, but she was hoping it was her current state of health (or more accurately, unhealth). If it wasn't, she was going to be in big trouble when it came time for her to face Sesshoumaru's enemy. Just an apparition had made her violently ill—the real thing would undoubtedly be far more potent.

Despite her worries and her shaking and general unwellness, Kagome drifted off into dreamless sleep, her exhaustion finally overcoming her. It seemed as though she'd only just closed her eyes when she felt someone gently shaking her and quietly saying,

"Miko-sama? Miko-sama, you must wake up now."

She opened bleary eyes. The world was a blur of darkness and light. Kagome rubbed her eyes and her vision cleared: the light was coming in from the hallway. She sat up groggily, rubbing her head; a headache, mild but irritating, had set in while she slept.

"Where the hell am I?" Kagome asked, disoriented. She looked around and saw a demoness in a pale kimono, with caramel-colored hair and luminous green eyes, kneeling at the bed's edge, watching her.

"You are in the Lord of the Western Lands' shiro," the demoness answered, voice still quiet.

Kagome stared at her blankly, then looked around the room. It was quite spacious, actually, with a kimono tansu on the far side of the room next to the shoji that led to the adjoining room. There was a vanity with beveled mirror against the wall directly opposite the now open fusuma, and there was a low table on one side of the raised platform that held the futon she was sitting on, an andon on the other side of the platform. Against the same wall as the futon and end table and andon sat a large metal brazier for cool nights. Kagome's eyes returned to the demoness, still kneeling placidly by the bed, still watching her.

"I forgot where I was," she said, voice rusty. She smiled absently. "For a split second, I thought I was home again, with Mama and Jii-chan and Souta…." Kagome shook herself, realizing what she was saying and to whom. She smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry—you can't possible care about any of that."

The demoness looked faintly surprised, but only for a moment; then her face settled back into smooth lines.

"Sesshoumaru-sama has ordered that you be fed, Miko-sama—" the demoness began.

"Uh, actually, you can call me Kagome," the miko interrupted.

The demoness was once again staring at her in surprise. "I'm sorry?" she said finally.

"Uh…well, I just said," Kagome began, plucking at her haori sleeve, "that, you know, you could call me…by my…name…Kagome. My name's Kagome." She smiled nervously at the other woman, who continued to stare at her. After several seconds, Kagome began to squirm—gods above, what the hell was wrong? Was there drool on her chin or something?

"So," Kagome said, the word coming out louder than she'd meant for it to. The demoness flinched at the higher volume, which caused Kagome to flinch. "Sorry," she apologized, "I was just going to ask what your name was."

Now the demoness was staring at her in open-mouthed astonishment. And Kagome was beginning to feel like a bug under a microscope.

_Oh man, why is she staring at me like that? Did I do something dumb? Did I _say_ something dumb? It was probably that one. Crap. What did I say? 'Call me Kagome'—that's not really dumb…unless it's against the rules. Is it against the rules? That might explain why she's staring at me like I grew another head…unless I actually_ did _grow another head…._

Kagome discreetly felt her neck for any abnormal growths. Ordinarily, she wouldn't have bothered checking, secure as she was in the normalcy of her life. Then again, nothing about the past several weeks could be, in any form or fashion, described as remotely ordinary or normal.

The demoness' voice jerked Kagome out of her worried thoughts:

"Yuki," she said, voice ringing with absolute wonder.

"Oh, that's a pretty name," Kagome said, immediately forgetting that she might have possibly grown a second head. "Are you an elemental youkai?"

Yuki's lips quirked, but she shook her head. "No, Miko-sama. I am a shika youkai. I was named for the snow that fell at my birth."

"Oh," Kagome returned. "That's nice. I don't remember what the weather was like when I was born. I think I was born around sunset, so maybe it doesn't really matter, since, you know, technically, weather isn't really important at night…unless you're outside at night, then you really want to know, you know?"

The two women stared at each other in silence after Kagome's rambling ended. Then Yuki seemed to shake herself. She turned to the tray sitting on the tatami mat beside her that Kagome hadn't noticed until just now.

"I've brought you something to eat, Miko—"

"Kagome," Kagome said softly. "I'd appreciate it if you called me by my name, Yuki-san."

Yuki looked over her shoulder at Kagome and met her pleading gaze. After a second, the demoness nodded.

"If you wish it…Kagome-sama."

Kagome smiled gratefully at her, and something compelled the demoness to smile back.

The miko joined the demoness on the floor, and Yuki handed Kagome a hot cup of tea, which the latter accepted gratefully. She sipped the tea, eyeing the tray of food curiously all the while.

"I thought youkai didn't eat human food," she remarked, glancing up at the other woman.

Yuki smiled and uncovered a bowl of kayu soup.

"Some human food," Yuki corrected. "Naturally, we have our own tastes, but in recent centuries, human food has become quite palatable, and many youkai are no longer so adverse to serving and consuming it."

Kagome grinned to herself. "Wait about five centuries more," she murmured; Yuki didn't hear her, intent as she was on setting the food out properly.

Kagome ate slowly. Her stomach still clenched viciously every now and again, but it was no longer tossing and turning the way it had earlier, so she wasn't particularly concerned about throwing up anymore.

"Just out of curiosity, Yuki-san," Kagome said as she handed the demoness her empty bowl, "did Sesshoumaru assign you as my personal…er…I guess…maid?"

Yuki looked at Kagome in surprise.

"What?" Kagome brilliantly returned upon noticing the look.

"I have never heard anyone refer to my lord with such familiarity," Yuki said, giving Kagome a look of mild reproach.

"I've never called him anything but Sesshoumaru," Kagome replied. She shrugged. "It's the same way Inuyasha referred to him, so I didn't see the harm in it. Besides, he was really quite rude the first time I met him—he tried to kill me." Kagome frowned. "Not that that's changed much," she added after a second.

"You knew…the hanyou?" Yuki asked, stunned.

Now it was Kagome's turn to send Yuki a look of reproach:

"His name was, is, and always will be, Inuyasha—NOT 'the hanyou'." the miko said firmly, quietly, the light in her eyes fierce.

Yuki watched her in wonder.

"You aren't like any human I've ever seen…you aren't like any miko I've ever heard of," she said, voice a whisper.

Kagome couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome went stiff with shock:

"What?" she asked, voice taut with disbelief.

Yuki paused in her ministrations and glanced down at the miko's face.

"I said, the only other human I've ever met is Sesshoumaru-sama's groundskeeper."

Kagome sat motionless, brain processing this information.

Yuki had agreed with her when Kagome had suggested that she should bathe before going back to Sesshoumaru, and the demoness had insisted on helping the young miko, saying that Kagome looked very frail. At that pronouncement, Kagome had gotten worried. She had never been especially hardy, not like Sango, but she had never been called frail in her life, not even by her worst critic, Inuyasha. Then again, she'd never been thrown so much all at once either. The deaths of her friends had been more than enough separately; together…well, she'd already gotten through the worst of it. She hoped.

Despite the way Kagome had hit it off with the demoness, she was still a little hesitant about letting the woman assist her with her bath. Really, the last time she'd been assisted in a bath, she had been ten and very ill with a virus that had been going around her school. And her mother had been the one helping her. For all her surprising kindness and thoughtfulness, Yuki was NOT Kagome's mother by any stretch of the imagination.

So, to make the arrangement less embarrassing, Kagome had asked Yuki more about herself, where her family was, did she have any brothers or sisters, where had she been born, how much contact had she had with humans…the last one leading to the very surprising information that Sesshoumaru, apparently, had a human man in his employ. Wonder of wonders.

"How long has he been here? The human?" Kagome asked as Yuki washed her hair.

"Oh…quite some time. I've only been here thirty years. He was working here at least ten years before that…probably more. He's a strange one. No one really pays him any mind, least of all Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Gods, if he's been here that long, he must be an old man by now…or close to it," Kagome murmured thoughtfully.

"He looks like he'd keel over and die at any moment," Yuki affirmed. "Close your eyes."

Kagome obediently shut her eyes and the demoness poured water over her head and rinsed the soap out of her hair, then reached out and lifted wet chunks of hair out of her charge's face, adding,

"You may open your eyes now."

Kagome did, blinking.

"Sesshoumaru hiring a human groundskeeper," she said as the conversation hadn't been interrupted, shaking her head as Yuki began soaping up a swatch of cloth. "I never thought I'd see the day…."

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Yuki automatically corrected, even though, by now, she was beginning to realize that the miko wasn't going to be reverting to such reverent language when referring to her lord any time soon. "And my lord never hired the human."

"What?" Kagome asked again, turning around to stare at the demoness, obviously flabbergasted by that news.

"The human was never hired," Yuki repeated.

"I don't understand," Kagome returned, frowning.

Yuki shrugged, then took hold of the miko's shoulder and made her face forward. She began scrubbing the young woman's neck, shoulders and back as she said,

"To be honest, no one does. The human and Sesshoumaru-sama seem to have some sort of agreement, but no one has the faintest idea as to what it could be, especially since my lord so obviously despises the human. It's very strange. Sesshoumaru-sama could have killed the human at any time over the years, but he hasn't. It's as if he refuses to."

"Maybe he's a really great groundskeeper?" Kagome volunteered. "It looked like he was doing a pretty good job, what little I was able to catch."

Yuki paused and cocked her head, thoughtful. "Perhaps. Good help _is_ hard to find, and the grounds, so I've been told, have never been lovelier. But I doubt that, somehow."

Kagome finished her bath and dried off, with Yuki's interference, then got into the dark blue haori and hakama she'd gotten from Mine-sama in Edo all those weeks ago. The miko and the demoness were quiet, each lost in their own thoughts, as Yuki combed Kagome's hair, meticulously unsnarling the knotted tresses.

"I'll make sure your clothing is washed immediately, Kagome-sama," Yuki said as she gathered the soiled white haori and red hakama…and tabi; Kagome was going to have to wear her zori barefoot, a new experience after the cushioning of the tabi.

"Arigatou," Kagome said with a bow.

Yuki inclined her head and turned to leave the bath house when Kagome stopped her:

"Er…you wouldn't happen to know where Sesshoumaru's study is, would you Yuki-san?"

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes as he listened to the miko fidget outside his study for the thousandth time in the ten minutes she'd been standing out in the hallway. Really, what was so difficult about asking for permission to enter a room? It wasn't especially taxing on one's mental faculties, which meant the baka wench ought to have had very little trouble with it.

"Miko," he said, and heard her wordless exclamation of surprise and the jump that accompanied it; he smiled sardonically for a moment, enjoying her surprise, "stop wasting my time and get in here."

The fusuma slid open and she appeared, looking nervous. She smelled a great deal better, and mentally, Sesshoumaru frowned. He'd been forced to postpone his own bath until every problem that had cropped up during his long absence had been attended to, or at least listened to. He expected he'd be clean again sometime tonight, if he was lucky.

He sighed at the thought of luck: he'd be foul-smelling and filthy for the rest of his life.

Kagome stepped into the room and slid the fusuma shut, then stood by it, her hands clasped demurely before her to hide her nervousness. She had no idea why she was so anxious, but she suspected that it was a feeling that she was going to become very familiar with for however long she'd be staying at Sesshoumaru's shiro.

Sesshoumaru was seated behind his desk, which seemed to have exploded: there were papers and scrolls littering the top of the once immaculate table. It had been the epitome of order and neatness when Kagome had briefly seen it hours earlier, and the chaos it was now in was so shocking she stared at it.

"Sit down," Sesshoumaru ordered, jerking her out of her stupor.

She walked to the desk and lowered herself to one of the two pillows sitting before the elegant table, for once too tired to sit seiza style, opting instead to fold into the more comfortable lotus position.

"Lots of work, huh?" she said, gesturing with her nose to the paper disorder.

"So it would seem," Sesshoumaru evenly returned. "We need to discuss how this is going to work, Miko."

Kagome sent him a blank look; Sesshoumaru sighed silently.

"Your role in this," he qualified.

The blank look left her face, to be replaced by one of practiced calm. It would have looked legitimate…if her eyes hadn't been shadowed by dread.

"You knew that youkai in here earlier was my enemy—how?"

Kagome lowered her eyes to the desktop.

"He has a particular…feel," she said quietly.

"Feel? His youki, you mean?"

"No…him. His presence. The air around him…bends…a sort of way."

Sesshoumaru eyed her. Outwardly, he looked as composed as ever. But inside, he was completely confused. What in the seven hells was this lunatic talking about?

As if she sensed his confusion, Kagome sighed wearily.

"Look, I don't know how to explain this," she told him, finally meeting his gaze. "I just…knew. I don't know why or how, but I did." She tilted her head to one side, suddenly thoughtful. "His youki's strange, different."

"How?" Sesshoumaru asked. He, too, had noticed a difference in the youkai's youki. There was something off about it, something not quite right.

"It's…evil," Kagome said, eyes on his.

"Evil." Sesshoumaru repeated, voice emotionless.

Kagome nodded. They stared at each other in silence.

"Explain," Sesshoumaru said finally.

"Youki has a certain feel," Kagome said slowly. "It's a chill that runs down my spine. It's creepy, but not necessarily threatening. Sort of like a warning. But his _was_ a threat. It was still cold, but it was…so evil. He…I don't usually feel sick when I sense youki, but when I felt his I got so nauseous I thought I was going to pass out or throw up or both. I'd been feeling bad before, but when I sensed his youki I got sick." Her eyes flickered to the swords still at his hip. "Like Toukijin."

His eyebrow rose; so, her overuse of her ki hadn't been what had made her ill… interesting. Worrisome, but interesting…as was the news about her reaction to Toukijin, something he hadn't ever picked up on.

"Toukijin makes you feel ill?"

"Sometimes," Kagome admitted. "Only when it starts to glow. Then I feel the evil in it."

Sesshoumaru seemed to process this, narrowed eyes setting on something past her head as he thought.

"I sensed something was amiss," he murmured, more to himself than to her. "There was something wrong, something not right…this is an entirely new sort of youkai I'm dealing with." His eyes refocused and returned to her. "Could you get a feel for what sort of youkai he was?"

Kagome shook her head, and Sesshoumaru frowned…until she timidly offered,

"But I could probably locate his youki."

His eyes widened a fraction as he watched the young woman seated before him, her expression solemn.

"Are you sure?"

"It's pretty unique," Kagome said. "I've never felt anything like it, and you said he was a new kind of youkai, so I'm assuming he's one of a kind, so to speak. I don't think it would be that hard."

"Can you pick it up now?"

Kagome shook her head. "No. But I think that with a little more practice, I could find it easy."

They sat in quiet for a long while, each lost in his or her own thoughts. Then, Sesshoumaru let out a long breath.

"So be it, then."

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome found herself in the garden several hours later, her head pounding and her vision blurry.

She had met with Sesshoumaru's commander, a half elemental, half wolf demon named Rai. He was a serious fellow, tall and lean, like Kouga had been (and speaking of Kouga, where had that wolf gotten to, anyway?), with gray hair that lay in a long braid down his back and silver eyes. He didn't say much, and when he did, his voice was quiet and rough, as if his throat was lined with sandpaper. He had sent her one inscrutable look upon entering, and then he'd devoted all of his attention to his lord, standing tall, relaxed but at the same time alert, with his hands clasped behind his back.

He wore the standard apparel of a professional youkai senshi, armor of leather and bone and tough, three-quarter high boots into which he tucked his gray hakama. He tucked his dark blue haori sleeves into leather-covered tekko, and his sword was tucked safely into a black obi. All in all, he looked like a dependable senshi, a formidable commander.

Kagome had sat pretty much silent as Rai-sama and Sesshoumaru went over every skirmish that had occurred during the demon lord's absence. Then, it had been Rai-sama's turn to listen quietly as Sesshoumaru had explained her abilities to his commander, and the situation.

At long last, she'd been able to get out of the study, away from the business of business, for which she was much relieved. She even felt a little sorry for Sesshoumaru, stuck as he was with all the problems on his desk, waiting for his attention. He'd had a rough few weeks too, even though it had been his own fault, really.

The young miko wandered around the garden complex, glad to be outside. It was sundown, and the sky looked as though it were on fire. She took a moment to appreciate the view. She had forgotten how pure the sky was in this era, free of the pollution from decades of factory debris and motor exhaust. And here in the wilds of the Western Lands? It was even purer than the skies above Edo, if that was possible.

Once the sun had sunk down below the horizon, Kagome sighed and continued on through the garden. The light was rapidly disappearing, but luckily someone had lit the various stone lanterns scattered throughout the garden, close enough together to light the way but far enough apart so that they didn't look grouped. Kagome paused, realizing that _someone_ had lit the lanterns…_someone_ like a gardener…who was human. She immediately began looking around for a gardener-like person, but unfortunately, with the drawing night and her lack of a description, she didn't exactly know what she was looking for. The man was going to be old, that much she knew, and decidedly undemon-like, but that wasn't really much to go on. There were a lot of demons on Sesshoumaru's property who didn't look like demons until you stopped for a second glance.

Kagome soon found herself hopelessly lost.

"Damn garden with its damn path," she muttered, more nervous than angry. "Oh gods, my sense of direction sucks like hell! Why am I looking for this guy anyway?"

It was one of the stupider questions she'd asked in recent years. Pure curiosity had driven her to seek out this mysterious human man that Sesshoumaru kept around for no apparent reason. The only time she'd seen Sesshoumaru willingly consort with a human had been sixty years ago, and the human had been a cheery little girl. Kagome's steps slowed as she thought about Rin, her other incarnate.

After that one flash of memory at Toutousai's mountain forge, the girl had been curiously absent from Sesshoumaru's recollections, at least the few she'd seen before that frightening confrontation in the forest. Kagome thought it was curious because the girl had obviously been a huge part of Sesshoumaru's world. The emotion he'd showed in the memory of him standing over Inuyasha's body had been half because of the hanyou's death and half because of Rin's. Clearly, the girl had managed to carve out a warm little spot in the icy demon's heart.

Kagome smiled absently as she remembered Rin as she'd last seen her: a child of ten in a checkered kimono with a lopsided ponytail and a bright grin, a sad clutch of flowers in one small hand. The same flowers she'd given to the newly resurrected Kohaku. It was a heartbreaking memory.

She wandered around the garden for a while longer, Rin still on her mind, and then she caught light out of the corner of her eye and looked. This light was too high up to be one of the garden lanterns, she realized, and she began walking toward it, relieved to have found her way back to the palace. But when she finally got out of the gardens and found the light's source, she realized that she'd made a mistake: this was a modest, out-of-the-way hut, not Sesshoumaru's grand mansion.

"Oh this is fucking unbelievable," Kagome muttered with a weary sigh. She closed her eyes and shook her head, then sighed again and opened her eyes. "I hope somebody's home, because I need a guide," she said under her breath as she walked toward the hut with a purposeful stride.

She reached the hut and knocked on the doorjamb, unable to simply walk in unannounced.

"Hello? Is there anyone in here?" she called.

"Who's there?" a man's voice called, raspy with age.

"Please excuse me for disturbing you, but I've lost my way back to the palace," Kagome said, "and I haven't got the faintest idea how to get back. I was walking through the gardens, and I guess I took a bad turn or something and—"

The reed curtain was jerked back and Kagome jumped back out of the light, startled; she hadn't even heard the hut's inhabitant moving around.

A man stood in the doorway, the light at his back throwing his front into shadow. He was dressed in the standard peasant garb, and his white hair was tied back with a length of leather; beyond that, Kagome couldn't tell who or what he was. He seemed to watch her for a moment, then moved away from the doorway, allowing the curtain to fall back into place.

"Come inside," the man said. "I was just eating bangohan. You'll join me, and then I'll take you back to Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Doumo," Kagome returned, shouldering timidly past the bamboo curtain and entering the hut.

It too was a rather ordinary hut, like any number of the peasant homes dotting Japan during this era. It was clean and neat, and it was obvious that the man both lived alone and spent very little time here. Kagome stepped out of her zori and joined the old man at the fire pit.

Now that he was in the light, she could see him more clearly. His face was lined and care-worn—this man's life had not been easy. He sat with drooping shoulders, as if he were carrying the weight of the world on his thin shoulders. Kagome sat seiza style, watching him with concern and empathy. He was a very old gentleman…. Her eyes narrowed on his very human-like ears, and after a moment, she smiled to herself: damned if she hadn't found the human gardener after all!

She was still grinning when the man looked up to hand her a bowl of domburi. Upon seeing her smile, his expression froze and he watched her with wide eyes. She saw his face blanch and her smile left her immediately:

"Ojii-san?" she asked, alarmed, "are you all right?"

But the old man didn't seem to hear her. He just stared at her with those wide, haunted eyes. The hand that held her bowl was shaking visibly, and Kagome was starting to get nervous. Dear gods, what was wrong with him?

"R…Rin?" he asked finally, his voice thin, as if he were short of breath.

Kagome felt the air whoosh out of her lungs and she sat and stared at him in dumb astonishment. It was while she was trying to figure out why this man would think that she was Rin that she noticed something she'd overlooked: the old man had a certain look about his face…features that she'd recently seen at the taijiya village…on Sango and Miroku's children.

Her hands flew up to her mouth as she gasped in horror:

"Kohaku?"


	14. The Unforgiven

**A/N: **You know what I just now noticed? The last three chapters (I'm counting this one) have been given names from either songs or albums. Weird. Right then…so this is a depressing chapter as well, because I've apparently lost my happy place somewhere and haven't been able to find it. These things happen in life. Anyway, enjoy.

**P.S.:** I'd like to say a very special thanks to Sassy for your review; I'm uber-happy you're enjoying this, and am very excited to hear what you (and everyone else who's following along) think, so please keep your thoughts/comments/etc coming, it helps me know if I'm on the right track or not. I'd have replied directly, but sadly, that option was not open to me, so I thank you here.

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Disclaimer: see Chpts One thru Nine

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Words To Know: 

kusarigama: Kohaku's sickle-chain thingamabob (you know the one, trust me….)

daimyo: a feudal era warlord

nee-chan: older sister, casual form

konbanwa: good evening—used only in greeting, not as another way of saying good-bye/good-night

-kun: higher than –chan but lower than –san and –sama; used mostly for young men

-chan: the most casual of the honorifics, used primarily for children or those to whom one is very close to denote affection

jii-chan: grandpa (might have already "defined" this one, but just in case….)

tsusu: crane

sensei: I went over this one a while back, but it requires a notation for this chapter: in Japan, "sensei" is tacked onto the names of writers, doctors, teachers and other professionals to denote mastery of their medium, whatever it may be

Ryuukossei: more of a note/reminder than anything; the dragon Inu no Taisho manages to seal away according to volumes 19-20 of _Inuyasha_, the manga/episodes 53-54 of _Inuyasha_, the anime

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**Chapter Fourteen: The Unforgiven**

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_What I've felt,_

_What I've known,_

_Sick and tired,_

_I stand alone,_

_Could you be there,_

_'Cause I'm the one who waits for you,_

_Or are you unforgiven too?_

"The Unforgiven II"/ Metallica

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kohaku had never again worn his taijiya outfit or wielded his kusarigama upon being released from Naraku's influence. He spent three years working through the self-loathing and guilt that consumed his soul as his fractured memory began returning and his foul deeds began showing up in his mind's eye, a process that had required help and encouragement from Sango and Miroku. In the end, they were feelings that were never truly laid to rest.

He took up farming, finding solace in the struggle with Nature to survive. And he struggled with Nature alone by choice; Miroku was no farmer, but he had offered his help all the same. Kohaku had politely refused his brother-in-law's help. This was something he wanted—needed—to do alone, by himself. He needed to toil against the elements without assistance. Miroku understood the need and never said another word about it, even though it worried Sango that her brother spent so much of his time alone in the fields.

"It's nothing," Miroku told her. "Let him be. He's trying to heal."

So Kohaku worked from sunup to sundown, relishing his battle against Nature, taking comfort in his solitude, and vowing never to fail anyone the way he'd failed his father and sister.

Fate had other ideas.

Kohaku had forgotten about Rin. She, however, had not been so lax: almost immediately after he and Sango and Miroku set up housekeeping near a village, she began writing him long, cheerfully detailed letters about the goings-on in the Western Lands, and invited him several times to visit her. With Miroku's assistance, he improved his meager reading and writing skills and continued his correspondence with the strange young woman who seemed so eager to befriend him. His letters were matter-of-fact and even dull recitations of what he did on a day-to-day basis, but Rin never seemed to mind, and offered him much encouragement. She also continued to invite him to visit her, despite the fact that he never once acknowledged her many invitations.

Kohaku was dubious about accepting her offer, at best; he vaguely remembered that Rin's guardian was the cold-hearted taiyoukai Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's elder half-brother. The young man had consulted the hanyou—a frequent guest to his sister's home—as to the feasibility of visiting Rin. At first, Inuyasha had advised against it.

"Lord Asshole'll probably lop your head off," the hanyou predicted.

Miroku had pursed his lips as Sango, pregnant with her first child, had paled.

"Not a very welcoming fellow," Miroku remarked innocently.

"He's a bastard," Inuyasha confirmed nonchalantly.

"Have you seen him recently?" Sango asked, frowning.

Inuyasha scowled and shrugged. "Fuckers like Sesshoumaru never change," he said. "He was born an asshole and he'll die that way."

All in all, not the most encouraging set-up in the world, and Kohaku had put visiting Rin from his mind. So, after a year, Rin had apparently decided that if he wasn't going to come to her, she was going to have to come to him. And come she did, with a tall, pale demon with cold eyes at her side. Thankfully, Inuyasha was nowhere in the vicinity, or a battle to the death would have been inevitable.

Kohaku had gone to visit Rin the next year, and in the time between the visits, they exchanged letters. Kohaku fell in love with Rin because she was the only person to look at him and not pity him. She treated him like a person, and the only way he knew of expressing his painful gratefulness for that gift was through loving her.

Just after Rin turned fourteen, Kohaku, with Miroku, went to Sesshoumaru's shiro in the west and asked for Rin's hand in marriage. The taiyoukai had two stipulations on accepting Kohaku's suit:

"What might these stipulations be, Sesshoumaru-sama?" Miroku asked, face tight with unease and worry.

"You will marry Rin within the year," Sesshoumaru said, gaze firmly on Kohaku. The younger man nodded slowly, stunned that the youkai lord had accepted his suit.

"And the other?" Miroku asked politely after a long pause.

Sesshoumaru's eyes went first to the houshi, then pinned down the taijiya-turned-farmer.

"You will protect her from harm."

"With my life, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kohaku murmured, bowing low to the youkai lord.

Famous last words.

They married a few months later at the shiro, and Inuyasha attended the ceremony at Sango and Kohaku's urging. The hanyou watched Rin oddly, as if there was something bothering him, but he congratulated Kohaku anyway.

Kohaku and Rin lived near Sango and Miroku, who were fast building a new taijiya village. Kohaku was content to wait a few years before bringing children into the world, mostly because he wanted to let Rin have a few more years of childhood, or something like it, before she began having children of her own. Sesshoumaru was a frequent visitor, which pleased Kohaku's cheerful wife to no end. The silent youkai also came after the birth of both their sons; three days after the second birth, Sesshoumaru had turned up with Inuyasha at his side, the two brothers throwing horrific barbs at each other. Kohaku had thought it was odd; Miroku had proclaimed it a miracle…after the forever squabbling siblings had gone, of course.

It was when his youngest boy was nearly a year old that his lord daimyo had called for all able-bodied men to take up arms, as he was keen on attacking and acquiring a neighboring daimyo's holdings. Kohaku had been reluctant to leave Rin and the children alone; his eldest son, just turned two, was sick with a fever that had been making the rounds, and the younger son was showing signs of illness as well.

"Don't worry," Rin had assured him the day he left, "we'll be all right. After all, Miroku-sama and Sango-nee-chan aren't so very far away, and Sesshoumaru-sama has a habit of dropping by unannounced."

"I suppose," Kohaku dubiously returned, eyeing his boys. His gaze returned to Rin, who stood before him grinning as happily as she ever had. "Take care, little one," he said with a fond smile, and Rin's smile widened.

"We will—don't worry!"

So he'd said good-bye to his young wife and little boys and marched off to fight a war he had no particular yen to fight. It had been a pointless campaign, in the end: nothing was gained, many lives were lost, and Kohaku's legs had been badly injured when a keg of gunpowder had blown up and burned him after accidentally catching fire during a particularly deadlocked battle.

He'd limped home, disgusted with war and weary of death…only to find that his home was nothing more than a pile of blackened, smoking wood. And his young family was gone.

Sango had told him later that Rin had fallen ill a few months after he'd left, but she had refused to move into the taijiya village because her sons were far too sick to be moved. So Sango and her daughters had been tending to Kohaku's family. Sesshoumaru had been by twice to check up on Rin, and had left both times in a much fouler mood than was the norm for the naturally cantankerous youkai. Sango had chalked it up to worry over his former charge's illness.

The night before Kohaku returned home, his hut had caught fire while his family lay asleep inside. By the time people noticed that the hut was aflame, it was too late: there was nothing to do but wait for it to burn itself out. Rin and the boys, too weakened by disease, had been unable to get out in time. Miroku had finished what the fire had begun and blessed the ashes of Kohaku's wife and sons before burying them in the small graveyard a few miles out of the taijiya village, to join the three babies Sango had had, one after the other, that had lived long enough to die.

Sango had taken her shell-shocked brother into her home to take care of him and help him through the grief that held him. And then, Sesshoumaru had come….

Kohaku remembered very little of that night; only that Miroku and Sango, in order to save both his life and the lives of their children, had agreed to let Sesshoumaru take Kohaku to the Western Lands. It was the last time he'd seen his sister, his brother-in-law, nieces, and nephews.

He became the youkai lord's gardener because Sesshoumaru had placed him in the position, and then seemed to forget about him. It suited Kohaku just fine to be forgotten. It felt like justice. He had failed miserably in his promise to protect Rin. He had sworn on his life that he'd protect her…but as it turned out, the cost of a life was actually a soul. Kohaku had once again lost his, and this time, there was no getting it back.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Sesshoumaru was annoyed when he didn't find the miko in her chamber.

He'd had his bath at long last, and had retired to his chambers. A demoness had come in to attend to his hair, as was par for the course. But she'd yanked a little too hard for Sesshoumaru's liking, and he'd sent her out with a sharp command. After a moment of indecision, he'd decided to get the miko to comb his hair. She had been more than adept in the task the last time she'd done it, and she hadn't yanked his hair at all, instead meticulously working through whatever snarls or knots she came upon.

So, he'd called for Jaken to send the miko to his chamber. Only, after an obscenely long wait of fifteen minutes, an understandably nervous Jaken had returned quite Kagome-less, and with news that she didn't appear to be in her room or anywhere in the palace. So, the very irritated taiyoukai was forced to leave his chambers and ascertain the whereabouts of one missing miko.

When he finally found her, he was unpleasantly surprised by her company: she was walking toward the palace on the old man's arm. The youkai lord bristled at the sight of the old man and his eyes narrowed. Even fifty years later, his hatred for the man burned just as brightly as the day Rin had died because of the human's weakness.

"Konbanwa Sesshoumaru-sama," the old man said with a low, respectful bow.

Sesshoumaru stood rigid, glaring balefully at the elderly man, who took it all in stride.

"Kagome-sama was touring your gardens and lost her way," the old man said. "I thought it best to return her to you as soon as possible."

Sesshoumaru said nothing. The old man looked at Kagome and inclined his head respectfully.

"Here you are, Kagome-sama, as promised."

"Arigatou Kohaku-kun," Kagome whispered, bowing low. "Sleep well."

The old man smiled absently at her, then bowed once more before his lord and began walking back the way they'd come. Youkai and miko watched him until he had disappeared, and then Kagome looked around at Sesshoumaru.

He was, quite frankly, royally pissed. It was evident in every line of his body, in the taut muscles of his jaw and chilling gold of his eyes. Kagome looked him over, then turned back to watch the now empty path out of the gardens that Kohaku had disappeared into.

"You didn't tell me Sango-chan's brother was still alive," she said quietly.

"It is a matter of little importance," Sesshoumaru said coldly. He turned and began walking back into the palace. "Get inside."

Kagome stayed where she was for a moment, then turned and followed Sesshoumaru in.

The story Kohaku had told her of how he had come to be in Sesshoumaru's shiro had deeply hurt her. She didn't know if it had something to do with Rin's having been one of her incarnates or if it was because the young taijiya who had been so cruelly manipulated by Naraku had been reduced to a broken old man by the vindictive whims of Fate. A young man she had remembered well, if not affectionately.

Kagome followed Sesshoumaru, assuming he was going to take her into his study and rip her a new one. Instead, they ended up at his private chambers. Kagome raised an eyebrow.

"You will attend to this Sesshoumaru's hair, Miko." the inu youkai said, voice flat, with an underlying edge of fury.

Kagome thought it prudent to keep quiet. He had turned on her once already, and it had not been a pleasant experience. She had no wish to repeat that. So when Sesshoumaru settled himself down and held the comb out, she wordlessly took it and knelt behind him and began working through his hair.

They sat in stifling silence throughout the task, and the air hummed with suppressed violence and bitterness. Kagome wisely said nothing and did nothing that could set him off, and when she was finished with her ministrations she placed the comb on the floor beside Sesshoumaru and waited to be dismissed.

The youkai lord sat with his back to her for several long beats of silence, then said,

"You will attend to this Sesshoumaru's hair from now on, Miko."

"If you want," she murmured agreeably.

"Now get out."

She was a little surprised by the venom in his voice and the harshness of the command, but she silently rose and left the chambers, shutting his fusuma softly before walking back to her own chamber.

So much for a truce.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome sniffled quietly as another fat tear rolled down her cheek and hit the sheets.

She had been tossing and turning for a long time before sleep had finally claimed her, and when it had, she'd dreamed of Inuyasha for the first time in years. She had awakened crying into her futon, body-wracking sobs muffled by the mattress to a certain extent, but still loud.

It had taken a long time for her to calm down and stop sobbing, and now she was sitting up on a fairly damp futon, sniffling as quietly as her sinuses would allow, given the circumstances. She didn't even remember the dream itself, just Inuyasha's face as he'd stared at her. Betrayed. Kagome closed her eyes miserably.

"I'm so sorry Inuyasha," she whispered in the still room. "You can't know how sorry I am."

Guilt twisted in her gut. She'd left him alone, after promising she'd never leave his side. He'd died trying to get back to her. Never mind that she hadn't been able to control her presence in the Sengoku Jidai, never mind that it had been Fate's decision for her to go back to her own time, not hers…guilt never did look at all the facts of a matter. Particularly those involving matters of the heart.

Kagome got up, wrapped her dark blue haori around herself and quietly left her chamber. She was too upset to stay there and try to go back to sleep, so she walked through the labyrinth that was Sesshoumaru's palace until she reached doors that lead her outside. She walked out of the palace, closing the doors softly, then went to the edge of the porch and sat down and looked up at the night sky.

The moon was a sliver of blue-white light, a crescent slightly thinner than the one on a certain dog demon's forehead. Kagome closed her eyes and sighed.

"Everything went to hell," she murmured. "It wasn't supposed to be like this, was it? I didn't wish for this…for Rin to die like that, or Kohaku to end up like this…I didn't wish for Shippou to die so young…I didn't wish for…Inu-inuyasha…to die alone," she managed to get out, unable, after her nightmare, to say the hanyou's name out loud without her voice cracking terribly. She leaned her forehead against her knees and drew in a shuddering breath, closing her eyes.

She stayed that way for a long time, then became aware of someone nearby. She lifted her head and looked around, but didn't see anyone.

"Hello?" she whispered into the night. "Who's there? Sesshoumaru?"

There was no answer, and Kagome started getting nervous. She abruptly got to her feet, wrapped her haori tighter about herself and stepped back from the edge of the porch, intending to go back inside.

She felt a pinch on her neck and slapped the area out of reflex and fear, barely able to keep from shrieking. She heard a groan and jumped.

"Who's there?" she asked again, voice louder and panicked.

"Forgive me," a male voice began, sounding very apologetic.

"AIIEEE!" she shrieked, bolting into the palace, slamming the doors shut and tearing back in what she thought might be the general direction of her room. She was nearly there when she slammed into someone and bounced off of him and into the wall. She hit the wall with a grunt and landed on the floor, breathless from both her impact against the person and her frantic run.

"Woman what in the seven hells are you doing?" Sesshoumaru demanded as she staggered to her feet.

"Oh gods," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling, "there's someone out there!"

"Who?" Sesshoumaru asked, not exactly worried; no one was getting into his shiro unless he wanted that person to.

"How the hell should I know?" Kagome returned, pulling harder. "You go see who—you're the man!"

"Stop that!" the demon snapped, trying to shake her off.

"Pardon me," the same voice from before spoke up, and Kagome let out another shriek and jumped a foot into the air. She hid behind Sesshoumaru.

"That's him!" she said.

Sesshoumaru sighed in exasperation, then reached around and hauled her out from behind him and began looking through her haori. Or tried to: she slapped his hands away.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Go see who's outside!"

"You stupid woman he's not outside anymore!" Sesshoumaru snapped, grabbing both her wrists in one hand and using the other to search the folds of her haori.

"What do you mean he isn't outside anymore?" she asked, sounding panicked. She tried to twist away from him. "Would you stop picking at my clothes and go rip the guy's head off already!" she snapped.

"It's Myouga bitch!" Sesshoumaru exploded.

She stopped squirming and stared up at him, even though he knew she couldn't see him in the dark hallway.

"Myouga?" she repeated, then flinched when the back of his fingers brushed against her breast. She kicked him. "Watch it, hentai," she said in warning.

Sesshoumaru sent her a cold look that was completely useless since she couldn't see it.

"Don't flatter yourself," he snarled, jostling her roughly. "Now hold still—he's on you somewhere."

Kagome did as he ordered and very soon Sesshoumaru had picked out the miniscule retainer from the folds of her haori.

"Myouga," he said, letting his displeasure leak into his voice.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," the flea youkai returned weakly. "I meant to return much sooner, my lord, but I was…er…I believe the correct term is…unavoidably delayed."

"I'm sure," was the demon lord's dry response.

"Myouga-jii-chan?" Kagome asked, stepping toward Sesshoumaru and squinting at the barely discernable being hanging between the demon's thumb and index fingers.

"Kagome-sama!" the little flea said cheerfully. "It's so nice to see you again! I am sorry for startling you outside the way I—ahhh!"

Kagome flicked the small demon out from between his lord's grasp viciously. He flew through the air and landed against the wall with an audible but rather unimpressive 'splat!' Kagome glared at the direction he'd flown in.

"Serves you right," she grumbled. "You scared the living shit out of me Myouga-jii-chan! Just what in the hell kind of greeting is that!"

"Quiet," Sesshoumaru ordered, then sighed as he rubbed the middle of his forehead with his index finger; why was the fact that the woman was disturbing his sleep not a surprise? "I suppose, since I'm up, I'll take your report now, Myouga," he said after a moment.

The little flea, having regained his bearings, hopped up onto his lord's shoulder and bowed, knowing the dog demon would be able to see the gesture.

"Certainly Sesshoumaru-sama," he said respectfully.

"Miko," Sesshoumaru said, and Kagome flinched at the sound of him addressing her.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Come," was all the taiyoukai said as he turned and began down the dark hallway.

Kagome paused for a moment, then sighed and trudged along after him.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome yawned behind her hand and blinked sleepily, then once more anchored her chin in the palm of her hand and returned her drowsy gaze to the little flea standing on Sesshoumaru's desk.

The lord of the realm himself was seated behind said desk, eyes on the diminuative retainer. He looked bored out of his mind. Kagome flicked her eyes up to Sesshoumaru's emotionless face. Yup, bored. His eyes were glazed over, a sure sign that he wasn't paying attention, and they'd been that way for the past several minutes. The miko couldn't blame him: Myouga was mind-numbing as hell. If he kept talking, there was a very real possiblity that Kagome was going to fall asleep.

The flea himself didn't seem to notice that his audience was less than engaged:

"…several human villages to our immediate south…"

Kagome yawned again, the bones in her jaw popping. She blinked again, then returned her chin to its former resting place. She happened to glance up at Sesshoumaru and saw him watching her. She raised an eyebrow, silently asking him what was wrong. He sent her a barely imperceptible shrug.

"…your youkai enemy—"

Both demon lord and miko flinched and stared at the little demon.

"What?" they asked in unison.

Myouga, interrupted so abruptly, stood with his mouth open for several seconds, staring at first his lord and then the miko.

"What?" he asked finally, confused.

"What did you say," Sesshoumaru qualified.

Myouga sent his lord a disapproving look.

"Sesshoumaru-sama, you weren't listening?" he asked, frowning.

Kagome rolled her eyes.

"No, he wasn't, now answer the question," she said.

Sesshoumaru glared at her.

"I was listening, Miko," he returned.

"Oh you were not," Kagome muttered, "you looked ready to pass out."

"That was you."

"You weren't that far behind."

Sesshoumaru snorted. Myouga cleared his throat importantly.

"My lord? Kagome-sama? If I may?"

Sesshoumaru inclined his head.

"Proceed."

"Very good," the flea said with a bow. "As I was saying, I've heard rumors about your youkai enemy, Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Anything reliable?" Kagome asked.

Myouga rubbed his forehead. "To be entirely honest, I'm not sure," he said finally. "So much of what I heard was conflicting information. And we know so little about this entity that any one of the rumors might indeed be true." The little flea sent Sesshoumaru a deeply unhappy look. "It was a most frustrating mission, my lord."

There was a long pause, and then Sesshoumaru said,

"What did you hear."

Myouga sighed wearily and plopped down onto the desk, rubbing his forehead.

"Every possibility. That this youkai is no more real than a dream, and that he is just as real as you or I. That he has powers of unimaginable strength, power to surpass even you, my lord, and that he is nothing better than a henchman. I've even heard that he's a god."

"That was not a god," Kagome interrupted, voice holding no room for argument. "Gods are not evil like that thing was."

Myouga stared at her, then leapt up and latched onto the end of her nose.

"You saw him Kagome-sama!" he asked in excitement. "When! How!"

Kagome looked at the end of her nose, frowning slightly, then looked up at Sesshoumaru. Sighing quietly, the demon lord leaned over and plucked the flea off the end of her nose and Kagome gratefully uncrossed her eyes; she was beginning to get a headache.

Sesshoumaru unceremoniously dropped the flea onto his desk as he said,

"The miko did not see the youkai. He appeared here as an apparition."

"Here!" Myouga shouted.

Kagome nodded. "Right here in the study, as a matter of fact."

"The nerve! The cheek!" Myouga cried in indignation.

Kagome sent Sesshoumaru an amused look. The demon lord didn't notice it—he was watching the flea with more than a little impatience:

"Get on with it Myouga."

Myouga cleared his throat in embarrassment.

"Of course, my lord, of course," he said. "I also heard that this youkai has been very quiet in the North of late. The South has finally been completely subdued, as the East was eight years ago. It seems his hold is no longer so focused in the North. I heard from several sources that this is due in no small part to a tsusu youkai by the name of Hiroshi. He has managed to gather a few dissenters together, and apparently, they've managed to secure a portion of the North for themselves."

"What portion?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"The mountains," Myouga returned.

Kagome saw a little line appear between the demon lord's eyebrows.

"But that's good, right?" she asked, looking at Myouga. "I mean, there's a chance—"

"A pitiful group of youkai hiding in the mountains is hardly an asset," Sesshoumaru interrupted.

Kagome glared at him. "Well it isn't a drawback either you know." she snapped.

Sesshoumaru sent her a murderous look, but Kagome ignored it. Despite his various threats to her life, she was fairly certain that he wouldn't kill her. She had a job to do, after all, and it was in his best interests to keep her alive long enough to do this job. It didn't occur to her that the dog demon had made no guarantees that she would be allowed to live after she did her job. If it had, she might not have been quite so nonchalant about giving him the figurative finger.

"Actually, my lord," Myouga hesitantly interrupted, "I went to see this Hiroshi myself, to acertain whether or not the rumors had any basis."

"And?" Sesshoumaru prompted when the flea didn't immediately continue.

"Hiroshi-sama is actually quite skilled, Sesshoumaru-sama. He comes from a lower court family with very little in the way of territory, but he's an excellent strategist. And every day that I was there, more and more youkai were coming to join him."

Kagome smiled at Myouga, feeling hopeful for the first time about this whole mess.

"You could have an ally, Sesshoumaru," she said, her voice alive with optimism.

The taiyoukai glanced at her, then at his retainer. In truth, he was beginning to think the same thing. And considering the job he was going to be asking the miko to complete, he'd be needing all the men he could find.

"Go back to the North," Sesshoumaru decided finally. "See what he thinks of an alliance with this Sesshoumaru."

"And if he is disposed toward one?" Myouga eagerly inquired.

"Then he is to immediately come here. He better than anyone would understand the urgency of the order."

"Hai Sesshoumaru-sama," Myouga said, bowing lowly. "I shall leave first thing tomorrow, if it pleases my lord."

"That will be fine."

Myouga was dismissed, and the flea left the chamber with a bounce to his hop that Kagome hadn't noticed before. She turned back to the solemn youkai seated before her.

"Things are looking up, ne?" she asked with a grin.

He didn't return it, not that she'd thought for a minute that he would.

"Perhaps," he said finally. His eyes darkened slightly. "Miko, I have been pondering the subject of your particular role in all this."

Her smile slipped slightly. "Oh?"

"I've only just come to a decision as to how this is going to play out."

Kagome watched him, face just as grim as his.

"How?" she asked quietly.

"You are able to sense him with a certain sort of accuracy that I am unable to attain. So you are going to lead us to him."

"And then?"

"And then you're going to have to purify him to hell. He has several armies at his disposal—I shall attend to them. But the youkai is your job and yours alone. Do you understand what this means?"

Kagome nodded. "I'm on my own." she said.

Sesshoumaru inclined his head, his version of a nod of agreement.

That was a thought that hadn't occurred to Kagome. She had assumed that Sesshoumaru or his commander Rai would be going in after this bastard with her. It had never occurred to her that she would have to face this entity alone.

Kagome had never faced an enemy so formidable all alone. When she'd fought Naraku, she'd had Inuyasha at her side, with Miroku, Sango and Sesshoumaru as back-up. She'd always had someone with her. It was impossible for her to picture herself going into battle alone. But if Sesshoumaru was to be believed—and he wasn't the sort to lie or make jokes—that was exactly the scenario she had facing her. It was an unpleasant one, to say the least, and extremely frightening.

The young woman watched the demon lord seated before her. He must have seen something in her gaze, because he quirked an eyebrow and said,

"What."

"Did you ever get the feeling that Fate's got it in for you?" she asked.

They stared at each other for a moment in silence, and then Sesshoumaru said,

"As a matter of fact, the thought has been occurring to me with depressing regularity."

Kagome nodded.

"Yeah, I expected as much."

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Half an hour later, Kagome was back in her chamber and unable to sleep. Partly because she was afraid she'd see Inuyasha again if she closed her eyes, and partly because…well, she felt lonely.

Kagome snorted and rolled onto her stomach, chin on her stacked arms, glaring at the darkness. It really should have been impossible that she missed that insufferable bastard's presence, but here she was. She had gotten used to him sitting near by, arms folded over his chest and head leaned back against a tree, cool eyes closed but every fiber of his being completely aware of what was going on around him. He was like a living, breathing—and absolutely infuriating—security blanket. And if that wasn't weird as hell, she didn't know what was.

She tossed and turned for a little while longer, then sat up with a growl of frustration.

"This sucks," she muttered.

She sighed wearily, tucking her chin into the palm of her hand. She was tired—exhausted, really; that nap she'd had hadn't even begun to chip away at her sleep deprivation of the past weeks—but she couldn't sleep.

She became aware of a very familiar youki just before the fusuma to her room snapped open.

"You might knock, you know," she said mildly.

"I might," Sesshoumaru agreed. He paused. "Why aren't you asleep?"

Kagome squinted at him for several moments in silence.

"I _know_ you didn't come all the way over here to ask me that," she said finally in disbelief.

"It's not that far away, Miko."

"Holy shit—you _did_?" Kagome asked, stunned.

"Why aren't you asleep?"

"Are you sick or something?"

"Of course not—I never get sick," Sesshoumaru snapped. "Now answer the damn question."

"I can't sleep," Kagome snapped back. "Gods above."

Sesshoumaru slid the fusuma shut and settled himself against the wall beside it. Kagome stared at his form.

"What are you doing?"

"Sitting."

"I can see that."

"Then you shouldn't have asked such a stupid question."

"You're such an asshole."

"You're entitled to your opinion."

"I doubt I'm the only one with that opinion."

She got the distinct impression that he smirked:

"Probably not…but you are certainly the only one stupid enough to speak it aloud."

"Oh go to hell Sesshoumaru."

"Go to sleep Miko."

Kagome plopped down onto the futon with a grunt and stared up at the roof for a long while. Then, she turned her head to look in Sesshoumaru's general direction.

"I'm a big girl, you know," she said. "I haven't been afraid of the dark since I was eight."

"I'm not here for your comfort, woman," Sesshoumaru coolly returned.

Kagome had to marvel at his ability to make her feel so insignificant with just a handful of words as she replied in exasperation:

"Then why're you here?"

"I can hear you moving around in here. It's distracting. Therefore, I intend to stay in here until you go to sleep."

"What makes you think having you in here will make me go to sleep?"

"If nothing else, it will make smothering you that much easier to accomplish."

"There's a cheerful thought."

"Shut up and go to sleep."

"Tyrant."

"Miko…."

"Geez, all right!" she muttered, flopping over onto her side, her back to him. "Good-night Sesshoumaru."

He didn't reply, of course. And within minutes, Kagome had drifted off. Sesshoumaru sat quietly, watching the far wall. He listened to the miko's even breathing, and wasn't quite able to believe that his hunch had been correct: not only did she fall asleep within five minutes of quieting down, the moment she nodded off, her ki slipped out and nudged his youki. Curious, Sesshoumaru allowed the pure energy to wrap itself around him. It was uncomfortable at first, and he had to work at not reacting adversely, but eventually, that strange peacefulness slid through him and he relaxed. His eyes drifted shut, and the demon lord nodded off.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_It just wasn't possible._

_Kagome stared at the well-house roof as she lay in the bottom of the well, her shoulder aching vaguely. She closed her eyes, waited a minute, then opened them again. The view hadn't changed. There was no wide, sweeping sky above her, no blue firmament, no wispy clouds. Instead, the gloomy well-house roof met her gaze._

_She was back in her own era._

_The young woman sat up, rubbing her hip. Why was she home? She hadn't been anywhere near the well! She'd been in Obaa-chan's hut, with Sango-chan and Miroku-sama and Shippou-chan and Kirara and Obaa-chan herself…and, of course, Inuyasha had been there too. They had all gathered for the final chapter of the Shikon no Tama—her wish. And she'd made her wish, and the Shikon had disappeared and then…._

_Kagome paled suddenly._

_"No," she whispered shakily. She got to her feet and stared at the dirt, eyes wide in horror. "No. No no no no no no," she said, growing increasingly more hysterical with each "no."_

_The girl from the future had never thought that she'd be so abruptly disposed of once she had completed her task in the Sengoku Jidai. It had never occurred to her that once the Shikon was no longer in the feudal era, her presence would no longer be required either. Even now, standing at the bottom of the well that had been letting her travel through time for two years now, she couldn't believe it._

_So she scrambled halfway up the ladder and then jumped down, praying desperately that she'd be caught by the ancient magic and be transported back in time. Instead, she hit the hard-packed earth, her knees slamming into the well bottom, the impact shaking her small frame. She repeated the futile effort countless times, each fruitless attempt making her fear and panic grow more terrible and suffocating. She kept saying "No," her voice cracking occassionally, hoping beyond hope that her one-word mantra might do something—_anything

_In the end, all she had to show for three hours of jumping down the well again and again were full-blown hysteria and dirty, scraped knees and hands. She sat in the bottom of the well for another two hours, crying her heart out, until her grandfather found her and ran to the house yelling for her mother._

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > **

_The first time she seriously hurt herself was five months later, when she snapped her left leg._

_Kagome had been jumping down the well every afternoon when she got home from school, spending untold hours doing something that was increasingly proving not just futile, but dangerous; she'd sprained her leg twice already with awkward landings,_ _and she had some pretty impressive bruises on her knees and shins. But Kagome was good at self-delusion. It was a skill she'd picked up not too long after Kikyou's reappearance in Inuyasha's life, and it served her well now, made her grimly determined to continue on with this pointlessness because there was a chance she might get through. Never mind that she'd never quite figured out how the well worked—she was convinced that sheer preserverance would get her what she wanted. And she desperately wanted to see Inuyasha again._

_There had been nothing particularly ominous about the day she'd broken her leg, nothing that would have foretold of the event. Then again, Kagome probably wouldn't have noticed had there been signs—she was simply too focused on her objective to note much of what went on around her anymore._

_She'd awakened and had breakfast with her family and dressed in her uniform and gathered her books and gone to school. She had endured the mind-numbing company of her friends, the no-longer-relative curriculum, and then she'd walked home and headed straight into the well-house. She set her books by the doors, which she slid shut, then walked down the steps and stopped before the dark well._

_In the five months since she'd been returned, Kagome had discovered something about herself: she hated the Bone-Eater's Well as much as she loved it. At first, it had seemed impossible to both love and hate an inanimate object. It sounded ridiculous, it sounded impossible. And perhaps it was ridiculous—but it was most certainly_ not _impossible_.

_The well had connected her to Inuyasha._ Still _connected her, she stubbornly insisted, the conviction still firm and strong in her. It was her gateway to him. She loved it because of that. And she hated it for the same reason._

_The dry well was all she thought about anymore. It consumed her. Because it was the only thing keeping her from Inuyasha. It both connected them and separated them. So, for that, she both loved it and hated it._

_Kagome stared down into the black depths for some time in silence. She thought of how she was going to apologize to Inuyasha for taking so long to get back to him, how she was going to apologize to all of them for disappearing the way she had. She forgot that she hadn't had a say in her removal from the Sengoku Jidai; somewhere along the way, the girl from the future had gotten it into her head that her being in this era was somehow her fault. It was something she had done, or something she hadn't done, that had landed her here, separated from the man she loved._

_Once the girl was satisfied with her apology, she stepped forward and clambered over the lip of the well and grabbed onto the ladder. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and let go, stepping out into the air. She fell, still fully expecting the magic of the well to flare to life, still fully expecting to be engulfed by blue light and transported back in time. What she did not expect was to land rather awkwardly on her left leg, or hear and feel the long bone of her shin snap sickeningly._

_Kagome lay at the bottom of the well in shock for a moment, too stunned by what had just happened and the pain it had caused to do or say anything. Then the nerves in her leg managed to get their message to her brain, and Kagome began panting and whimpering. She made the mistake of touching her injured leg, an action which elicted a scream of agony from her that alerted her family to the fact that something had gone horribly wrong._

_Jii-chan, who had been sweeping the courtyard, reached her first, throwing the doors open and bellowing, _

"_Kagome! Kagome what happened!"_

"_Jii-chan!" Kagome screamed. "My leg!"_

_The old man ran down the stairs to the well and peered down it. There wasn't enough light for him to see much more than a vague outline of her at best, Kagome knew, but he still seemed to grasp the severity of her injury._

"_I'll get your mother—don't move!" he yelled, then disappeared from her view. Kagome took in great gasps of air as pain shot up and down her leg and hot tears rolled down her cheeks._

"_Inuyasha," she cried brokenly. "Inuyasha, help."_

_Jii-chan returned with her mother and Souta, who had a flashlight. When the beam of light hit her leg, her mother cried out and Souta took in a deep gulp of air._

"_Nee-chan?" the boy asked._

_Kagome was too busy crying at that point to reply. Mama told Jii-chan to call for an ambulance. Souta, meanwhile, threw a leg over the lip of the well and grabbed hold of the ladder and began descending into the well, the flashlight still in his grasp, now tucked under his chin. He carefully landed next to her and knelt down, eyeing the leg, white-faced._

"_Mama," he croaked, "the bone looks like it's gonna pop out of Nee-chan's skin!"_

"_Oh gods," Mama said, voice betraying her fear. "Souta, don't move your sister! Wait for the paramedics, please!"_

"_I won't move her Mama," the boy said softly, touching a hand to Kagome's head. Kagome reached up and grabbed hold of her little brother's hand as if it were her only life line, and he squeezed gently, letting her know without words that he wasn't going anywhere._

_Mama went with Kagome to the hospital, where she was given local anesthesia and the bone set and leg firmly wrapped in plaster and bandages._

_"She was very lucky that you were home, Higurashi-san," the doctor who attended the pale-faced girl said to her mother, who looked just as white. "If she'd been home alone, she might have sat there for hours without medical attention, and the bone would very likely have broken the skin. It would have caused some complications, to be sure."_

_"I see," Mama said, swallowing shallowly. She bowed lowly. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Takeda-sensai."_

_The doctor bowed in return._

_"You're welcome Higurashi-san. The bones should set and knit within eight weeks or so, and the cast should be ready to come off by then. In the mean time, I'd like to see her again in two, just to be sure everything is progressing along as it should."_

_Kagome said nothing during the conversation, empty eyes staring up at the roof as tears leaked out of the corners and dribbled into her ears. She hurt too much, both physically and emotionally, to care—Inuyasha hadn't come. He hadn't been able to hear her._

_They left the hospital in a taxi soon after, the ride home quiet. The cab driver was kind enough to help Kagome up the shrine steps, for which Mama was obviously grateful. The girl awkwardly fumbled her way to the house using the crutches she'd been given at the hospital, her mother at her side._

_"Kagome," she said softly just before they reached the house, "I don't want you to get upset, but this has to stop."_

_Kagome didn't reply._

_"You can't keep doing this, Kagome. Today it was your leg. And while you may not think so, you were very lucky—it could just as easily have been your neck that you broke."_

_The girl said nothing, face set in grim lines. Mama stopped, her eyes watering._

_"Kagome!" she cried. "Please stop!"_

_Kagome stopped but didn't turn around. Not because she didn't want to, but because she was still new to the crutches and wasn't sure how to execute the move without falling and hurting herself._

_"He's waiting for me, Mama," she said softly. "He's waiting for me to come back. I can't stop—I can't abandon Inuyasha."_

_Mama sniffed loudly. "Kagome, you can't go through the well anymore," she whispered, voice pained. "I know you miss Inuyasha, dear, but you can't go through the well, don't you see that?"_

_"I'm not abandoning Inuyasha!" Kagome shouted, furious with her mother for the first time in her life. "He needs me!"_

_"Kagome, you can't go through the well!" Mama insisted. "Not anymore! It's closed to you now! And I refuse to let you risk your life anymore!"_

_"It's my life to do with as I please!"_

_"You're my daughter and I forbid you!" Mama shouted, then pressed a hand to her mouth, shaking slightly, as if suddenly realizing what she was doing; she'd never raised her voice to her children ever, and it was a new and probably very unpleasant sensation for her._

_"Why are you doing this?" Kagome asked, tears running down her cheeks. "Mama don't you understand that Inuyasha _needs_ me?"_

_Mama went to Kagome, her usually warm, friendly eyes pained and cloudy with tears._

_"Kagome," she said softly, resting her hands on either side of her daughter's face, making the stubborn girl look at her, "it's over."_

_"No," her daughter obstinately insisted._

_Mama tightened her hold a bit more._

_"Kagome…it's over. It's over, dear. You're not going back to the Sengoku Jidai. Not ever again. _It's over_."_

_They stared at each other in silence for a long time. Kagome was frightened and angry and hurt that her mother was saying such a horrible thing to her. Mama, better than anyone, knew what Inuyasha meant to her. How could she say it was over when it hadn't even begun?_

_A part of Kagome wept because it knew that Mama was right, that it was over and there was no going back. But the larger part of the girl refused to give up hope that maybe, just maybe, just this once, Mama was wrong. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't over yet. It was simply paused, on hiatus. _

_Love could transcend time…couldn't it?_

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_Sesshoumaru stood very still, eyes narrowed and searching. He was standing in the middle of a field of long grass and flowers. Above him, the blue sky stretched wide, and it looked sunny. Wind was stirring the grass and flowers. All in all, it was very peaceful. And he had no idea what he was doing in such a place._

_"What the hell?" came a familiar voice, and the demon lord turned and found Kagome standing before him, a dumbfound expression on her face. "What are you doing here?" she demanded._

_"Well how in the seven hells should I know?" he asked irritably. "I don't even know where 'here' is."_

_"This is the dream plain," Kagome said. She looked around, obviously searching for someone. "I usually meet Miroku here…but you're not Miroku."_

_"That's very astute of you, Miko," Sesshoumaru said dryly, then paused and thought about what she'd said. "Your friend the houshi?"_

_Kagome nodded. "I've been dreaming with him for a while now. He's pretty consistent…but I guess he decided to take the night off or something." She looked up at the sky. "This isn't where we usually meet, either. It's a long path under an orange sky. I guess it's supposed to be symbolic, but I never really thought about it—"_

_"Shut up," Sesshoumaru said, rubbing his forehead. "Just stop talking."_

_Kagome glared at him but said nothing._

_They stood in silence for a time, and then Kagome sighed dramatically and plopped down into the grass with an unfeminine snort._

_"If you're going to be such a drag, leave," she said._

_"I said shut up," the demon returned immediately._

_"I will not! This is _my_ dream!"_

_"It is not _your_ dream you stupid cow—the dream plain belongs to no one."_

_Kagome grabbed a piece of turf and threw it at him. It hit his arm with a splat and he whirled on her and glared._

_"I'm_ not _a stupid cow," she informed him, folding her arms in front of her chest._

_Sesshoumaru cracked his knuckles._

_"You're right," he said, voice icy, "you're a_ dead _one."_

_He leapt at her and Kagome threw herself out of the way with a yelp. Sesshoumaru swiped at her head and missed by bare inches. Kagome back pedalled away from him as fast as she possibly could, which unfortunately wasn't fast enough to keep her away from him. They ended up beating the crap out of each other in the dirt—AGAIN—for a while, until Sesshoumaru abruptly flipped her over his head and sat up. Kagome landed with an audible "Oof!" and lay still for a moment, panting. Then she rose up on her elbows and watched him. He was frowning at the landscape._

_"What's your problem?" she asked, spying a piece of grass in her bangs and balancing on one elbow while she reached up and removed the offending article._

_"That was unforgivably childish," Sesshoumaru returned._

_"It most certainly was," Kagome agreed, flicking the piece of grass away. "But it'd be stupid to get all bent out of shape over it. This is just a dream, after all."_

_He sent her an acidic look but didn't say anything. They sat in silence for a long time, and then Kagome threw herself back onto the grass with a sigh._

_"I would _love_ to know what in the seven hells you're doing here," she commented, squinting up at the sky._

_"You and me both," Sesshoumaru muttered._

_"If this was Miroku's bright idea," Kagome said thoughtfully after a pause, "I'm going to kick him where it hurts next time I see him."_

_Sesshoumaru's gaze flickered to the woman laying a foot or so away from him._

_"'Where it hurts'?" he repeated._

_"Uh-huh—that very tender area of the male body where one well-placed kick can reduce even Mr. Macho to a screaming baby." She lifted her head and glared at him. "I keep trying to kick you there, but you're too fast."_

_Sesshoumaru smirked._

_"Of course, stupid woman," he said condescendingly._

_Kagome's glare deepened and her middle finger shot up. "Asshole."_

_"Bitch."_

_They glared at each for a moment, and then Kagome rolled her eyes and groaned and let her head fall back._

_"We're pathetic."_

_"Speak for yourself, human."_

_"Oh fuck you."_

_"This is getting us nowhere," Sesshoumaru announced, rising. He walked over to her, leaned over, grabbed her by the front of the haori and lifted her to her feet despite her protests. "Get us out of here."_

_"What are you talking about?" Kagome demanded as he released her and she began tugging her clothing back into order._

_Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth. "Miko…." he growled low in the back of his throat._

_"Look Asshole, I don't know how to get out of here," Kagome snapped._

_The demon lord made a low sound in his throat that sounded like he was holding back a scream of exasperation._

_"How did you get out of here all the other times?" he inquired, enunciating carefully in an obvious attempt to keep from lopping her head off._

_Kagome shrugged. "Uh-uh."_

_"What is that supposed to mean?" he demanded, his irritation seeping into his voice._

_"It means I don't know, Sesshoumaru."_

_He started at her, then closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead with his index finger._

_"Headache?" she asked politely._

_"Hai," he replied tightly._

_"Anything I can do?"_

_"Unless you're going to drop dead within the next several seconds, no," he brusquely returned._

_Kagome humphed. "Fine then, be like that, but I was only trying to help."_

_"I don't need your help!" he snapped._

_The miko raised an eyebrow._

_"Oh really? So then why did you go to all the trouble of finding me? Huh?"_

_"I believe I've explained this several times already," the demon lord said, voice icy._

_"I forgot," Kagome replied, hands folded behind her back, smiling politely at him in a manner that told him she most certainly had not forgotten._

_"If you're going to lie, baka, you might at least_ attempt _to make yourself believeable," the taiyoukai bit out._

_Kagome's smile widened and became more pleasant:_

_"Answer the fucking question Asshole."_

_"And if I choose not to?" Sesshoumaru threw back, voice edged with a dangerously high amonut of aggravation._

_"Then I'll just have to answer for you," Kagome said._

_The demon lord sent her a sour look._

_"You enjoy the sound of your own voice, don't you?"_

_To his consternation, she merely smiled demurely._

_"I require your powers of purification."_

_"Require," Kagome said, lips pursed. "And another word for require is need, isn't it? And when someone is in need, you're supposed to—"_

_"Finish that sentence and die," Sesshoumaru promised, cracking his knuckles._

_Kagome pouted._

_"Kill-joy," she muttered._

_He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, hands clenching. It was really amazing how quickly murder occurred to him when she was around._

_"Try and get us out of here, Miko," Sesshoumaru instructed after he'd given himself sufficient time to control the urge to throttle her._

_Kagome sent him an exasperated look._

_"I already told you I can't—"_

_"**TRY**!" he bellowed, and she jumped three feet into the air._

_"FINE!" she bellowed back. "Holy hells you're touchy tonight!"_

_He ground his back teeth together._

_"Just. Try." he bit out._

_Kagome sent him an irritated look, but she shut her eyes and tried. He guessed. Her face twisted into a frown after several moments, and then she growled under her breath and opened her eyes._

_"I can't," she said, "something or someone won't let me."_

_Sesshoumaru sighed impatiently and rubbed the center of his forehead with his fore and middle fingers._

_"Now what?" he growled._

_"Don't bite my head off," she snapped, "if I had my way you wouldn't even be here."_

_"The feeling is acutely mutual."_

_Because they had nothing else to do besides interact with each other (and that wasn't really going so well), they sat down in the grass side by side in silence. And that worked. For a while._

_"Maybe we're supposed to do something," Kagome finally said._

_"Like what?" Sesshoumaru demanded irritably. "What could we possibly have to do in a field on the dream plain?"_

_"If I knew that, we'd have done it already and this nightmare would have ended a long time ago." the miko returned sharply, and Sesshoumaru growled impatiently low in the back of his throat. She sighed in obvious annoyance. "Maybe it's a test of patience." she volunteered finally._

_"Then I should be jumping several spots ahead for reincarnation for this," Sesshoumaru muttered._

_"Look Asshole, you're no fucking picnic either!"_

_He stared at her. "What in the seven hells are you talking about?" he demanded in exasperation at long last._

_"You! You're such a dickhead!" she shouted. "Gods! What the hell is your problem, anyway! All you ever do is bitch! I'm at least making an effort to keep this whole…whole—argh! I don't even know what to call it!—from making me miserable, but you don't bother! All you do is suck the life out of—"_

_"Get to the point," Sesshoumaru said coldly._

_Kagome stared at him, then closed her eyes and sighed, a bitter smile on her face as she shook her head._

_"I'm not any happier about being here than you are, Sesshoumaru. You might keep that in mind."_

_They lapsed into silence again, and then Sesshoumaru said,_

_"Why was he so important."_

_"What?" Kagome asked after a second, startled._

_Sesshoumaru sighed._

_"Why was he so important."_

_"Who?"_

_"The hanyou."_

_"Inuyasha?" she murmured, staring at him in surprise._

_"What other hanyou would I—"_

_"I get it," she said, rolling her eyes. "What do you mean why was he so important?"_

_"When you couldn't get back through the well."_

_Kagome sat silently for a long time, then whispered,_

_"Why do you want to know? I doubt you're interested in my feelings for your brother."_

_"_Half_-brother," Sesshoumaru immediately corrected._

_Kagome's lips quirked sadly. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes._

_"I simply fail to see what about the hanyou should have inspired such loyalty."_

_"Well…." Kagome began, "I loved him._ Love _him._"

_Sesshoumaru sneered. "Love," he spat out._

_Kagome smiled sadly at him._

_"Come on Sesshoumaru," she said. "Don't tell me there wasn't one person you ever loved, even a little."_

_"Love is a useless emotion, Miko."_

_If it was possible, her smile became even sadder._

_"I'm sorry for you, Sesshoumaru."_

_He raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"_

_"Your life must be very lonely without someone to love."_

_He snorted. "I require no one but myself," he said, and immediately frowned as he realized what a bald-faced lie he'd just uttered._

_"I think you've gotten used to being alone," she said._

No one ever gets used to being alone, _Sesshoumaru thought, then frowned; now where had_ that _sentimental dribble come from?_

_Rather than voice such a horrifiyingly maudlin thought, the demon lord said,_

_"Love for the hanyou reduced you to a broken shell, if you'll recall. You don't honestly expect me to agree with you that such a destructive emotion is a good thing."_

_She flinched slightly and seemed to shrink away from him. But her voice was steady if laced with pain when she softly replied,_

_"Love isn't a destructive emotion."_

_He snorted._

_"Of course it isn't," he said condescendingly._

_"It isn't," she whispered, eyes staring ahead sightlessly. "It's a basic, fundamental feeling. It's a connection to another person you trust to take care of you and be with you for forever, and they trust you and want to be with you right back. No one wants to be alone, Sesshoumaru. Everyone on the planet wants to be loved, even a little."_

_"This Sesshoumaru desires obedience, nothing more," the demon returned._

_Kagome looked over at him, face shadowed by aching sorrow. Sesshoumaru watched her out the corner of his eye._

_"That's very sad," she said finally._

_"Spare me your pity, _human_."_

_She sighed, and went back to looking ahead at nothing in particular._

_"It isn't pity," she murmured. "It's just being sad for you, since you won't be."_

_"You're disgustingly sentimental."_

_"It's part of being human, Sesshoumaru. Maybe that's why it's so hard for you to understand it."_

_"Or perhaps it is simply stupid."_

_She sighed wearily, and the noise surprised him because it made her sound so very old. He was again struck by the notion that she seemed to be hundreds of years old, and he again shoved it away as a thoroughly idiotic thought. She was human, after all—the most she could hope to live to was forty, if she was lucky._

_"I can't expect you to understand," she said. "You didn't even cry when Rin-chan died."_

_He went rigid at the words and said nothing for a long time. They sat in a silence heavy with fury and melancholy._

_"You're a stupid woman, so I'll forgive you for speaking of things about which you do not know," he said finally, voice taut._

_"You didn't cry for Inuyasha either," she accused._

_"He was a stupid, foolish hanyou who deserved what he got!" Sesshoumaru roared, leaping to his feet. "Pining over a human woman—it was disgraceful!"_

_"What was disgraceful about it?" she demanded, rising to her feet to face him. "He missed me—he loved me! I loved him back! What was so disgraceful about that!"_

_"That same useless emotion killed my father!" he bellowed. "He went to save that stupid bitch and that abomination against Nature, to protect them, after nearly dying in battle with Ryuukossei! If he'd done as Myouga had asked and not gone, he wouldn't have succumbed to a miserable human's blade! And I _refuse_ to be brought down so low by a human or anyone!"_

_They stared at each other in silence. Sesshoumaru was livid, perhaps more furious than she'd seen him in a long while—at least not since that frightening confrontation in the forest over the dream-memories. Kagome watched him, blinking owlishly, then slowly sank back down into the grass and wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on top of her knees._

_"I thought you respected your father," she said finally._

_"I will not discuss my father with _you_," he snarled. "And I've had just about enough of you."_

_So saying, he turned abruptly on his heel and stalked away, his hair and pelt trailing along after him. Kagome listened to his angry retreat, then sighed and closed her eyes._

_"Fate wasn't fair to anyone," she murmured. "Not to me, not to Sesshoumaru, not to Inuyasha, not to Rin-chan or Kohaku-kun…." She opened her eyes and looked up at the sky. "I hope it was worth it," she said to the firmament, "because you've ruined a lot of people's lives."_


	15. Foolish Redeemer

**A/N:** _So_ sick, you guys…all I want to do is sleep. Hopefully this will go away soon, and the next installment won't be too long. But if it is, well, it's because I was sick and fell behind schedule, so be warned. Ah, and speaking of schedules….

**THE END IS NEAR:** We are now at Chpt Fifteen, which means Dead is almost done. Seriously, the end is coming within ten chapters. So there's that. Just so you guys know. The closer to the end we get, the better I will be able to predict the actual end. Okay, I'm going to go die now….

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Disclaimer: see Chpts One thru Nine

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Words To Know: 

No vocab this week that I could find. Yay! (_coughs up lung_) Oh crap...

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**Chapter Fifteen: Foolish Redeemer**

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_Delusional_

_I believe I can cure it all for you, dear—_

_Coax or trick or drive or_

_Drag the demons from you._

"Sleeping Beauty"/ A Perfect Circle

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

It happened that Kagome's first full day in Sesshoumaru's shiro started out rather ordinarily—well, "ordinarily" within the contexts of her completely unordinary life, anyway.

She was sound asleep when a rush of cold air had her senses groggily demanding to know just what in the hell was going on, and what jackass was disturbing her rest. The answer to both questions came a moment later when a clawed hand roughly grabbed her shoulder and began to shake her in earnest:

"Wake up you useless wench," Sesshoumaru ordered, voice loud after the silence of sleep.

"Go to hell," Kagome slurred, trying to jerk away from him.

He was having none of that; his hand stayed firmly clamped over her shoulder, and the shaking grew far more jarring.

"Wake up Miko," the demon lord said, voice impatient.

"Not until you go to hell," she snapped back, frowning with her eyes closed.

He then did something new: he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of bed, leading Kagome to fall rather gracelessly to the floor with a yelp of pain. The miko's eyes snapped open, bleary at first, but the tugging at her scalp did wonders to clear that up quite quickly.

"What is your problem!" she thundered, her hands beginning to glow.

"I refuse to repeat myself three times," Sesshoumaru snapped back.

"You bastard!" she shrieked and grabbed the wrist holding her hair.

Servants in every corner of the house, and several soldiers around the shiro, stopped what they were doing and listened, stunned, to the sound of the miko yelling at their lord like she had a right to, and—gods above—their lord bellowing back as good he got. Everyone who heard the exchange—complete with the sounds of things crashing—thought it was most the horrific thing to happen at the shiro for some time.

For Kagome and Sesshoumaru, however, it was just a regular day.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

"You are to spend the day learning to manipulate your powers," Sesshoumaru informed Kagome at the breakfast table.

As usual, he hadn't eaten. Instead, he had nursed a cup of tea. Kagome had been fed by Sesshoumaru's staff, many of whom were giving her mixed looks: horror and anger and awe. She was starting to think maybe she _was_ growing a second head.

"What about my kenjutsu?" she asked.

"During the day, the dojo is utilizied by my men. I prefer not to disrupt their practice any more than it already has been for the past eight years. Therefore, your kenjutsu lessons will be moved."

"To?" Kagome prompted, chopsticks poised over her rice.

"After bangohan."

Kagome frowned.

"Fighting on a full stomach?" she asked, wrinkling her nose.

His left eyelid twitched ever so slightly; if she hadn't looked at him just then, she would have missed it. Outwardly, she didn't react. Inside, however, she was dancing with sadistic glee—it served that asshole right for trying to drag her out of her room and to the bath house so early this morning! She didn't think the rather impressive scorch marks on either of his wrists were enough punishment for that abuse.

"You do not find this change acceptable?" he inquired, voice bored. Mild, even.

That really should have tipped her off:

"As a matter of fact, I don't."

"Too bad."

She glared at him, a look he pointedly ignored.

"You are not to disturb me during the day for any reason," he said.

"What if I'm dying?" Kagome inquired.

"Then, of course, I should be immediately informed of such a fortuitous event."

Kagome's glare deepened.

"There's a name for people like you."

"I would advise against uttering it, unless you like the idea of spending eternity separated from your vocal cords."

The miko muttered something unintelligible under her breath that Sesshoumaru decided wasn't worth pursuing; his wrists were still throbbing painfully from their earlier encounter, and he had no desire to repeat the experience any time soon, if he could help it.

"What if I need to find you?" Kagome asked after a moment.

"For?" Sesshoumaru inquired, eyebrow raised.

"For whatever."

"No Miko—there is no 'for whatever'. I refuse to be disturbed unless there is a legitimate reason."

"Okay, _fine_," she said, enunciating carefully. "Let's say I have a legitimate reason to go and find you—where are you going to be?"

"You may send me a message through Yuki or Jaken."

"Why?" she asked, staring at him as if he'd suddenly turned into his toad-like retainer.

Sesshoumaru sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed.

"Because, stupid woman," he said slowly, as if speaking to an idiot (and in his mind, he was), "that is how it is done."

"Are you telling me that I have to send a message to you if I need your help?" she demanded. "What if I'm laying in a hole somewhere, bleeding to death?"

"That, I believe, would be a gift from the gods."

"Insufferable man!" she shouted, tossing her chopsticks to the table.

Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, picked up the chopsticks and used them to pick up a few grains of rice that had joined the chopsticks in their short, vicious flight across the table. He then expertly flicked the rice at Kagome, who sat, speechless, as he tossed the chopsticks back to her. They skidded to a stop in front of her bowls.

"You should learn some manners, Miko," he said, picking up his tea cup and sipping.

Kagome sat as if rooted to the spot, eyes wide with surprise. Had she imagined it? Or had the taiyoukai Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands and all-around cold-hearted son of a bitch…_flicked_ _rice_ _at_ _her?_ She moved her gaze to her bangs, and sure enough, there were two little white grains of rice sticking to her hair. Well holy hells—he really had!

Sesshoumaru caught the soft clink of porcelain on wood and glanced over at Kagome. His eyes widened when he saw she had picked up her bowl of rice as if she meant to throw it at him, which he quickly learned was indeed her intent when the mad woman did exactly that. He ducked out of the way and the bowl and its contents flew harmlessly past his head to hit the wall behind him, rice exploding all over the floor and the bowl hitting the wood boards in several sharp pieces with many tinny little porcelain rings. Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder at the mess, blinked, then turned his incredulous gaze back to Kagome. She was watching him with a dark glare gracing her features.

"What in the seven hells is wrong with you?" he finally demanded when he found his voice; he hadn't been this surprised by anything in a very long time.

"You started it," she immediately returned.

"I didn't fling a bowl at your head, you baka wench!"

Kagome shrugged. "Not my fault you didn't think of it first, Sesshoumaru."

He let out a strangled breath as he fought the urge to leap over the table after her and throttle her. Not only would it have left him without a miko, it wouldn't have been dignified—hell, he would have been acting like _her_.

"Humans," he muttered. "Such irrational, illogical creatures."

Kagome sent him an ovely saccharine smile that made his teeth ache, and he glared at her and decided that staying as far away from her as possible was a very good thing indeed if he wanted her to live long enough to purify his enemy.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome spent the day in the garden, Yuki with her, as she meditated and tried to manipulate her power as Sesshoumaru had asked. Or rather, as Sesshoumaru had _commanded_, since the conceited bastard would have rather choked to death than ask for anything.

But her mind wasn't on what she was supposed to be doing, instead going over and over and over the revelations of last night's weird encounter on the dream plain. Specifically, what Kagome had learned about the demon lord's father.

It was hard to imagine that a demon who had fallen in love with a human woman had raised a son like Sesshoumaru, and Kagome was of the opinion that there was more to the story than what had been revealed so far. There were still pieces missing to the puzzle that was Sesshoumaru. And gods above, was it an exasperating, uncooperative puzzle.

"Yuki-san?" Kagome called, opening her eyes and deciding she needed to take a break from doing nothing.

"Yes Kagome-sama?" the shika youkai immediately responded, coming to stand by her side.

Kagome patted the grass beside her.

"Please join me for a minute."

Yuki sent her a dubious look, and Kagome laughed.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna use you for practice or anything. I just want to ask you some things."

"Oh," Yuki returned. After a pause, she settled herself down next to Kagome carefully, leaving a good three feet of space between them. "What did you wish to ask me, Kagome-sama?" she politely inquired.

"You said you've been working here a while, right?"

Yuki nodded. "Thirty years, give or take. Among youkai, it's really nothing, but I suppose to a human it seems like a long time."

"A good part of a human's lifetime," Kagome agreed. She paused. "So I guess you wouldn't have known Sesshoumaru's father?"

"Taisho-sama?" Yuki asked. "Oh no, Kagome-sama. Sesshoumaru-sama's honorable father has been dead for nearly three centuries. I was very very young when he died."

Kagome took a moment to gape at the demoness before she remembered she'd been asking about Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha's father; she'd ask Yuki exactly how old she was later.

"So you heard about him?" Kagome asked instead.

"Certainly," Yuki replied. "Taisho-sama was one of the Four Lords. All youkai know of him—there are many who say that he was the most powerful of the Four. There are also many who say…." Yuki trailed off, looking about her uneasily.

Kagome watched her expectantly, wondering what was wrong, before it occurred to her that what Yuki was saying probably wasn't of a complimentary nature toward the fallen lord. She slapped her forehead.

"Stupid me," she muttered. She pursed her lips, then snapped her fingers as an idea struck.

Because she still didn't have complete control over her ki, Kagome had kept her sword with her pretty much at all times. She was afraid that the sword, powered by her unstable energy, might perceive all the youkai walking around Sesshoumaru's shiro as threats, and the young woman was in no way eagar to explain to the demon lord why all his people were little smoking piles of ash.

So, Kagome unsheathed her sword, which began glowing pink. Yuki took one look at the glowing weapon and shot to her feet.

"No, it's okay!" Kagome hurried to explain, "I'm just going to put up a barrier!"

Yuki eyed the sword and the woman suspiciously.

"Please, it's okay, I promise it won't hurt you," Kagome pledged. "Honestly. I just thought you might feel more comfortable saying whatever you were going to say if no one could hear you."

The demoness wasn't completely convinced, but there was something about the human before her that inspired trust. So, against her instincts, Yuki once more settled down beside the miko, who beamed at her.

"Doumo arigatou gozaimasu, Yuki-san," Kagome said, bowing her head. "If you could just move in a little closer?"

Yuki cautiously inched over until she was two feet away from Kagome, who nodded and said,

"Okay, that's good." She sent the demoness a reassuring smile. "I promise, this won't hurt you a bit—I did it to Toutousai-ojii-san, and he was just fine. A little startled, since I didn't warn him, but it didn't hurt him at all."

And so saying, she plunged the blade into the grass before the two of them.

Yuki felt the miko's energy envelope them. It was an odd but not uncomfortable sensation. It was even a little soothing, like a hug from her mother.

"See?" Kagome asked cheerfully, plopping down next to her, still smiling. "Isn't this just the coolest katana on the planet? Well, I guess Tenseiga is pretty cool—bringing people back to life and all," she allowed thoughtfully, "but my katana is like an extention of my ki. I think that's pretty neat, don't you?"

Yuki looked all around her, unable to see the barrier even though she could feel it. She looked at Kagome, green eyes questioning, and Kagome's smile stretched even further.

"I figured out how to make the barrier invisble," she said proudly. "It's different than casting a barrier with an incantation, you know, or using ofuda. Any barrier my katana puts up depends on me and how well I can manipulate it. Since I've gotten so much better at controlling my ki, I can control my katana a lot better now."

"Oh?" Yuki asked.

Kagome nodded.

"I couldn't quite figure out how to at first, but Ojii-san explained to me that since my katana housed a controlled amount of my ki, my making contact with it linked it to me and made it possible for me to manipulate it through the katana," Kagome confided. "The better I get at controlling my ki, the more powerful my katana. At least, that's the way Ojii-san explained it. If I get really proficient, I'll be able to purify hundreds of youkai with one swing."

"How, exactly?" Yuki asked.

"Ojii-san didn't tell me, he said I had to figure it out myself," Kagome said, sounding somewhat disgruntled. "But I'm guessing it's like Inuyasha's Kaze no Kizu, which can take down a hundred youkai with one swing. I just have to get stronger so I can figure out how to draw it out."

"H'm," was all Yuki seemed able to come up with in reply.

Kagome shrugged, then brightened. "I'll have to ask Ojii-san for a hint next time I see him if I haven't figured it out by then. Anyway, enough about my absolutely fabulous katana—back to Taisho-sama. You were saying about how some people said he was the most powerful of the Four Lords?"

Yuki nodded.

"Hai, it was rather widely acknowledged that of the Four, Taisho-sama was the most powerful. His grandfather had died having fully conquered the Western Lands, and his father had made a reputation for being a ruthless and fierce leader. But Taisho-sama, he was something else altogether. He was different from his father and grandfather, both of whom had scoffed at ever joining forces with the other three lords. The other lords, you see, have traditionally been rather…less thoroughly informed, shall we say, with the ruling of their respective domains."

"They didn't know their asses from holes in the ground," Kagome translated, and Yuki sent her a startled look before smiling.

"That's an interesting way of putting things, Kagome-sama," she remarked.

"Oh, according to you lord and master, I'm a very interesting creature all right." Kagome snorted and shot the palace a dark look. "That jerk."

Yuki decided to ignore the last comment since the miko had afforded Sesshoumaru the courtesy of acknowledging his station, however indirectly.

"In any case," she said, getting back to the task at hand, "Taisho-sama came to the conclusion that having allies would better serve his purposes, and it is through his efforts that the Four Lords came together as a true ruling body. He was an excellent statesman, they say."

"I get the feeling he was nothing like Sesshoumaru," Kagome commented.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Yuki corrected out of habit, even though she knew the miko wasn't going to use the honorific. "And you're right, they are very different. Sesshoumaru-sama…is irritated by the minutiae inherent to politics. My lord prefers to examine the situation and then use the most efficient course of action to produce the desired results, as he deems it, and with minimal input from his advisors, all of whom he inherited from his father and none of whom he likes. Taisho-sama was more accommodating, more apt to listen to his advisers before he made a decision. He was an excellent speaker," the shika added as an after-thought.

"Charismatic, I'd assume."

"Very much so."

"Yeah, that doesn't sound like his son at all—Sesshoumaru's got all the charm of a pit viper." Kagome observed thoughtfully.

Yuki's lips pursed, torn between censuring the miko for her rudeness and laughing at the opinion. The woman really was too immpolite for her own good, even if it was disrespect of an amusing nature.

In the end, the shika decided not to say anything or laugh; the miko wasn't going to change her perception of Sesshoumaru just because Yuki said anything…and it was best not to encourage the woman's disrespect of Yuki's lord and master, no matter how amusing.

"Was he kind?" Kagome asked, thinking back to her only glimpse of the fallen Western Lord after the brothers had defeated Sou'unga, and her impression of him.

Yuki pursed her lips thoughtfully.

"Hai," she said at long last, "though it isn't a trait common to youkai. In fact, it's treated as an affliction."

Kagome tilted her head to one side.

"H'm," she returned absently.

"Taisho-sama was a powerful youkai, Kagome-sama, make no mistake of that," Yuki said. "He simply…well, it was whispered among the other youkai that he had certain traits that weakened him, in the end."

"Like his kindness," Kagome murmured, and Yuki nodded.

"And compassion for humans," the shika said softly.

"A compassion Sesshoumaru didn't inherit," the miko quietly concluded, but she remembered a sunny grin and a lopsided ponytail and a pain that went too deep to describe.

Yuki nodded, and they lapsed into quiet.

"Well," Yuki said at long last, "perhaps you should return to your meditation, Kagome-sama."

"Right," Kagome said, reaching forward and tugging her sword out of the grass. The barrier around the women immediately dissipated, and Kagome sheathed her sword after rising and dusting her hakama off. Yuki rose with her and stood patiently by while Kagome stretched hugely.

The young miko turned to the shika with a smile and bowed lowly to her.

"Doumo arigatou gozaimasu, Yuki-san, for trusting me even though your instincts were probably screaming "Danger." I really can't tell you how much I appreciate that trust."

Yuki smiled at Kagome.

"You're welcome, Kagome-sama," she said quietly.

Kagome returned it and then, with a sigh, settled herself back down to meditate some more. Yuki stood nearby the rest of the afternoon.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome ate her dinner alone, not that she minded particularly. Sesshoumaru was off somewhere, being himself no doubt—_And gods help whoever he's with,_ Kagome thought to herself—and Yuki was off attending to her other duties. It was the first time all day that she had been more or less by herself, and she had forgotten what that felt like.

After dinner, she left the dining hall and wandered outside and stood on the porch and looked out over the garden, her thoughts wandering to Kohaku. She wondered if she had enough time to visit him before Sesshoumaru appeared to drag her off to the dojo for her kenjutsu lessons, then decided she probably didn't. Today had been relatively quiet between the demon lord and the miko, if only because they had had no contact with each other after that morning's debacle at breakfast, and Kagome thought it would probably be best to try and keep things that way for as long as possible, not that she held out much hope that it would continue for long. It was a little depressing that they could annoy each other so quickly and thoroughly.

The young woman sighed quietly and closed her eyes.

"Kohaku-kun," she murmured sadly. "Sango-chan must be weeping for you." She opened her eyes and looked up at the stars. Tonight, she resolved, if Miroku decided to show up, she was going to ask him about dreaming with Sango. She was sure that her friend would want to know about her brother. Especially since she had never been able to see him again after Sesshoumaru had taken him away from her.

Kagome's brow wrinkled. Why would he do that? What could he have possibly gained from taking Kohaku from his kin? She knew Rin's death had had something to do with it, but what? It seemed like such a useless thing for him to do, which was completely at odds with what Kagome knew about the taiyoukai. He never did anything that wouldn't somehow benefit him in the long run. So where was the benefit in keeping Kohaku, whom he obviously loathed, at his shiro?

"Kagome-sama?" Yuki's voice came from the doorway, and Kagome looked over her shoulder.

"Sesshoumaru-sama requests that you go to the dojo."

Kagome raised an eyebrow at the shika's wording.

"'Requests'?" she asked sardonically. "I didn't know Sesshoumaru had it in him to make requests."

Yuki sent her a censuring look and Kagome sighed and left the subject alone:

"Where's the dojo, Yuki-san?"

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Jaken ended up showing Kagome to the dojo, and the young woman quietly followed the toad to the large building with the low, sloping roof that lay just beyond the garden.

When they arrived, Kagome stepped up onto the porch, then turned to Jaken and bowed.

"Arigatou Jaken-sama," she said politely.

Jaken sent her a cross look and merely turned and walked away. Kagome watched him go with a faintly amused expression.

"Well, not quite what I was going for, but I'm not surprised," she murmured, turning and removing her zori to place them beside Sesshoumaru's boots before stepping into the dojo.

She immediately felt Sesshoumaru's youki, and she followed it to a large practice hall, where she found the demon lord waiting, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. Kagome pursed her lips as she slipped into the room and slid the shoji shut; he seemed a lot more irritable being in his home, which she thought was a little odd. After all, shouldn't someone be happy in his own home? Then again, Sesshoumaru did seem to be the exception to a lot of rules usually governing normal interactions, so maybe it wasn't quite so odd.

"You're late," he told her, voice cold.

"I wasn't aware that I was supposed to be here at a particular time," she said mildly, folding her hands behind her back.

His eyes narrowed.

"I said after bangohan, woman. And what I say, I mean."

She nodded. "My mistake," she said easily. She inclined her head. "So…you gonna glare at me all night, or are we going to spar?"

In answer, he turned, grabbed two bokken and turned. He threw one at her, which she caught just in time to avoid a very painful and bloody broken nose, then came at her without preamble, and Kagome was barely able to block his attack. Her grip was awkward and she didn't quite deflect the blow, but she managed to get away without any damage to her person.

It went on like that for three hours, no stopping. He never gave her an opportunity to stop defending herself and start attacking him, which Kagome thought was very rude of him but knew better than to say so.

When he finally called a halt to the session, Kagome sat down on the floor, panting, and stared at the floor boards for a moment before slumping forward and laying her forehead against the gleaming wood. She lay like that for what felt like an eternity, before she heard Sesshoumaru sigh in that special, irritated way of his:

"Get up, you stupid bitch."

"Go to hell, you fucking bastard," was her muffled reply.

His rejoiner to that statement was to grab her by the obi and lift her up off the floor, grab the bokken from her hand and then drop her. She hit the floor boards with enough force to make them shake, and with a howl of shocked and furious pain.

"You son of a bitch!" she shouted. "Why did you do that!"

"Because you wouldn't get up," he returned as if that should have been obvious.

"I hate you," she growled under her breath as she got to her feet slowly.

He didn't reply, he simply turned away from the rack where he'd replaced the bokken they'd used and fixed her with a measuring look.

Kagome tilted her head back and stared at him, mentally killing him every way her brain could come up with. She very quickly ran out of original ideas—she wasn't really the blood-thirsty sort—but luckily, she had plenty of fodder from the American cartoons her brother liked so much.

_A violent lot, those Americans,_ she mused as she dropped several Acme anvils on the cartoon Sesshoumaru in her head.

"You've gotten marginally better," he told her, and she rolled her eyes.

"How generous of you," she muttered, and his eyes narrowed.

"Your defense is still pathetic, Miko," he said, voice sharp. "You might try less sarcastic remarks and more application of what I've so graciously been teaching you, not that I'm seeing any reason to continue."

She glared at him.

"Look here you, I've managed to stay alive this long against you," she pointed out.

"Only because I hold back, woman," he returned tightly.

Her glare deepened, and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm not weak," she said stubbornly. "You shouldn't hold back."

He let out a derisive snort.

"You wouldn't last a second against me if I didn't hold back, _human_," he sneered. "Your kind is far too fragile for the likes of this Sesshoumaru."

"I can hold my own," she snapped. "You never held back before and I'm still here."

"Yes well, you had your precious hanyou to protect you before, didn't you?" he threw back, and Kagome flinched at the venom in his voice. "All I had to do was look at you and he'd jump right in like an imbecile, swinging Tessaiga about like a blunt slab of wood."

Kagome drew in a deep breath and fought down the urge to slap him. That would only lead to pain and blood-shed. She now regretted ever having answered his question about why getting back to Inuyasha had been so important. She wished she could take back everything she'd told him. And she realized, once again, that Fate loved kicking her in the teeth when she was already on her knees.

"Regardless," she said slowly, willing herself to not rise to his baiting, "I can hold my own."

He sent her a cool, dismissive look.

"Keep telling yourself that _human_."

"My name is not human!" Kagome yelled, tired of his superiority and furious with him for being there. "My name isn't "Woman" or "Stupid woman" or "Miko"! My name is Kagome, goddamn it!"

They stared at each other in silence, his eyes flat and cold, hers flashing and livid.

"I don't care what your name is, Miko—I only care what you can do for me," he said finally, voice quiet but so nasty that she was offended more by it than by what he said.

He turned and began walking for the shoji. He paused halfway there.

"Come along, Miko—I'm sure you'll get lost and I have no desire to spend half the night searching for one incredibly stupid human."

She bristled but did as he bid, pausing long enough to blow out the lamps in the practice hall before following him out. She slid on her zori and he laced his boots up, and then they began for the house, Kagome walking in Sesshoumaru's wake.

She really didn't have any trouble thinking about killing him now, and at that moment, if she'd been given the opportunity, she would have cheerfully taken it and sent him straight to hell without a second thought. The gall of the man, the absolute nerve! For all the times she'd said she hated him, she'd never really meant it until now.

They were walking by the garden when Kagome spotted the cherry blossom trees and stopped. Sesshoumaru, hearing her, paused and glanced over his shoulder.

"Miko…."

"I'm going to sit in the garden for a while," she told him. "Don't worry, I won't get lost in them and keep you up," she added sarcastically, then stepped onto the little stone path and walked toward the trees. The demon lord watched her go, then rolled his eyes and sighed wearily and turned around to follow her—the hell he was going to depend on her horrible sense of direction to guide her.

Kagome made it to the cherry blossom trees and plopped down under them. They looked more like weeping willows than cherry blossoms, but the fact that there were little white flowers still blooming on the branches saved Kagome from mistaking them for the drooping arbors.

The miko breathed in the scent of the blossoms and her eyes slid shut and she sat quietly, feeling all her resentment and anger at Sesshoumaru melt away. Which was probably a good thing too, because she could feel his youki drawing nearer and nearer. A few moments ago, she might have resented his intrusion on her solitude, but there was a peace about the cherry blossoms trees that made her capable of ignoring him.

The demon lord stopped a few feet away from her, hands folded into his kimono sleeves. He watched her for a moment, then turned his gaze up to the sky and watched the waning moon. After a few minutes, Kagome opened her eyes and looked up at the moon through the drooping branches of the cherry blossom tree she was under. Human and demon watched the moon in silence for nearly an hour before Kagome began to feel the chill of night through her robes and stood with a sigh, absently dusting her hakama off. Sesshoumaru's eyes flickered to her, and Kagome met his gaze. He looked eerie in the blue light of the moon, even more unreal and other-worldly than he usually did. Maybe it was the way the moonlight seemed to make him glow. To anyone else, he might have looked beautiful. To Kagome, he looked more alone, more wretched, than any creature deserved to be.

"Arigatou, Sesshoumaru," she said quietly, "for indulging me. I'm ready to go inside now."

They watched each other for several moments, and the the demon lord inclined his head ever so slightly—if Kagome had blinked, she would have missed it—then turned smoothly and began gliding back to the palace. Kagome followed behind him quietly.

She was healing; now, it was his turn.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

They fell into a routine: after dinner, for three hours usually, Sesshoumaru and Kagome sparred in the dojo. Sesshoumaru would call a halt to the match, and then they'd settle into the garden in absolute silence until Kagome rose and told him she was ready to go back in. If it irritated the demon lord to indulge her in this, he did not speak of his annoyance or show it in any manner, and in fact, Kagome began to notice as the nights wore on that Sesshoumaru seemed to enjoy the peace inherent to moon-watching, despite the fact that he had her for company.

She was also allowed use of the bath house upon returning to the palace, a priviledge Kagome quickly learned to love dearly. It was really the only time she was away from the suspicious looks of Sesshoumaru's staff, Yuki's ever-present gaze, and Sesshoumaru's animosity. She usually spent two hours using the bath house every evening after her sessions with Sesshoumaru, sessions that never failed to leave her sore and sweaty. Lucky for Kagome, Yuki had provided her with several hakama and gi to use during the grueling practices, so that her miko robes were spared the constant need for washing, because Sesshoumaru almost never called a halt to the sparring until Kagome was drenched and out of breath and aching all over.

Sesshoumaru still came into her room every morning and awakened her in the same manner he had since their stay at Toutousai's forge, nearly two weeks prior, something that mystified Kagome. He could probably have assigned the duty of awakening the miko to Yuki, thus greatly reducing the amount of contact he had with her, but so far as Kagome could tell, the thought didn't appear to have occurred to him. And oddly enough, Kagome found that on further reflection, she was happy that the taiyoukai hadn't given the duty to the demoness. So much about her life was uncertain now that she was glad for one constant, even if it was something she hated.

She also still ate breakfast with him. Or rather, she ate and he sat at the table with her and nursed a cup of tea. Usually, they sat in silence, and once Kagome had finished eating, they parted ways and didn't see each other again until after dinner, which Kagome almost always ate either alone or with Yuki at her side.

The longer she stayed, the more Kagome began to feel that a large part of the reason gloom and despair seemed to cling to the demon lord was due to the place in which he lived. Or rather, the atmosphere of the place. Sesshoumaru's shiro was, without a doubt, the most depressing place Kagome had ever set foot in, which was a real shame, because it was really a very beautiful example of a fine Japanese castle. Yes, these people were embroiled in a war and that was apt to dampen things considerably, because war was never a cheerful or in any way merry affair (and Kagome knew this, unfortunately, from first-hand experience), but the gloom that hovered over the mountain stronghold was old and well-established, a gloom that had seeped into the the very rock and mortar of the place, a gloom that had attached itself to everything, living and not, and held on ferociously, tenaciously.

The scent of old pain and tragedy and betrayal, the bitter ache of old loss, still held the shiro in its grip, and as the days passed and Kagome became more aware of its enveloping presence, the essence of the poison slowly rotting away the demon lord's soul, she began to realize that, just like the defeat of Sesshoumaru's enemy, the defeat of this less tangible one would not be so easily accomplished.

If she could accomplish it at all, that is.


	16. Declaration of Intent

**THE HACK IS A LIAR: **I suck, I know. Blame my crap-tastic laptop and college. And yes, the "crap-tastic" adjective extends to my college. Enjoy.

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Disclaimer: Chpts One through Nine, people

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Words To Know: 

None this time…lucky you. : ).

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**Chapter Sixteen: Declaration of Intent**

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

_You tried so hard to be someone,_

_That you forgot who you are;_

_You tried to fill some emptiness,_

_'Til all you had spilled over;_

_Now everything's so far away,_

_That you don't know where you are, you are._

"Hold On"/ Jet

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome had been at Sesshoumaru's shiro for a full week when she decided that, just for a change of scenery, she should travel to the human village not too far away.

She had discovered the existence of this village through Kohaku, whom she'd begun spending an hour a day with in the garden, usually helping him with the upkeep of the vegetation. They spoke mostly of trivial things, because Kagome couldn't bring herself to ask him about Sango and Miroku, or even worse, Rin. She'd listened to him tell her how he'd come to be in Sesshoumaru's shiro in silence, listening to his voice cracking with pain and regret and guilt, watching tears leak from the dead eyes—that sight had been one of the worst she'd ever witnessed. And in Kagome's opinion, the man had suffered enough. Never mind that she was the reincarnation of his wife; she had no right to stir up painful memories just because she wanted to know more.

It was during one of these hours in the garden that Kagome asked him how he managed among demons.

Kohaku paused, his wrinkled, callused hands in the dirt; he was replanting a small bush that he'd been nursing in his hut, waiting for it to mature enough that he could introduce it into the garden without worry.

"Well Kagome-sama," he said slowly, going back to his work, "every other week, Sesshoumaru-sama allows me to visit a village not too far from here so that I can gather more supplies. It usually takes me the whole day—"

"There's a village near here?" Kagome interrupted, stunned by the news. "A _human_ village?"

"Hai," was the reply.

"How is that possible?" Kagome asked. "I mean, Sesshoumaru hating humans the way he does, I'd think he wouldn't want a human village within walking distance of his shiro."

Kohaku pursed his lips and paused again.

"I can't say why Sesshoumaru-sama would leave the village be, but he has. In fact, he's been known to occasionally provide them with protection, but then, I've heard he's extended that courtesy to all humans within his realm."

"Bi-zaaar-ro," Kagome drawled. She was shaking her head when it occurred to her that she might be able to join Kohaku on one of these visits and get the hell away from the shiro and its suspicious, animosity-ridden inhabitants. "Oi Kohaku-kun, when're you going back to the village?"

"Two days from now," the old man answered, sitting back on his heels and inspecting his careful, meticulous work. He jerked his head in approval, then rose. "I'm running low on food. Usually I only get vegetables, though I've brought back pork and chicken a few times. Every few months, Sesshoumaru-sama allows me to go to the sea and do a little fishing."

"'The sea'?" Kagome echoed. "What sea? Where?"

Kohaku sent her a faint smile, and Kagome couldn't help but return it—gods, it was a pathetic smile, but it was the best a broken old man could do.

"We're only a mile from the sea, Kagome-sama—can't you smell the salt on the air?"

Kagome sent him a puzzled look.

"Are you serious?" she asked. "A mile?"

Kohaku nodded and began walking. Kagome fell into step behind him, and absently noticed that she seemed to spend a lot of her time lately following extremely old men—Sesshoumaru just wore his advanced years better than Kohaku did.

"There's a beach just a ways west from here. There's another village there, a fishing village, and I go there every…oh, I suppose every three months and buy enough to last me a week."

"You only eat fish three times a year?" Kagome asked after doing the math in her head.

Kohaku shrugged. "It's enough," he replied, crouching down to weed a bed of silver grass.

Kagome watched Kohaku's bowed back, then nodded and crouched down next to him to help:

"I suppose when you're bound to someone else, just having the chance to do what you'd like to do every once in a while _is_ enough." she murmured.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

She approached Sesshoumaru about joining Kohaku on his journey to the village that night in the dojo as he wiped the floor with her:

"No," he said, and without missing a step he nearly took her head off with the practice sword; he'd moved her up to live swords in an effort to impress upon her the importance of being alert, and Kagome had found that the more the demon lord nicked her with his sword, the more closely she watched him. When she could catch the movements, that is.

Kagome ducked and brought her sword up, blocking his downward swing.

"You didn't even consider it," she returned, blocking another swing.

"There was nothing to consider—I did not bring you here to visit villages, Miko, your purpose is to destroy the threat." he coolly returned, swinging at her again.

Kagome couldn't get her sword up in time to block it, so she shot to the right and tried to get away from him. Unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough (which didn't surprise her, of course, considering who she was up against), and Sesshoumaru's blade caught the sleeve of her gi and cleanly sliced a good hunk of it off.

"Damn it Sesshoumaru!" Kagome wailed. "Why do you keep doing that!"

"If you'd pay attention it wouldn't happen," was the reply, accompanied by another swipe, this one around her stomach.

She brought her sword up quickly to protect her middle, and steel sang against steel from the force of the block. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.

"Very good—however…." He reached out, grabbed her by the throat and squeezed just enough to make her nervous. "I win."

Kagome rolled her eyes and sent him a bad-tempered look.

"Like I have any chance against the 'Killing Perfection'," she muttered sourly.

"You might try to challenge me a little," Sesshoumaru replied, releasing her.

Kagome rubbed her neck where he'd squeezed, wondering what the deal was with his always grabbing her by the neck. Was it a dog thing? Because she knew that was how dogs carried their pups around, by the neck, but she doubted very much that Sesshoumaru thought of her as anything at all like a pup—chances were good he thought of her as a _parasite_ on a pup.

It took a moment for his words to get through to her.

She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, wondering.

"If I gave you a challenge, would you let me go with Kohaku-kun?" she asked slowly.

Sesshoumaru raised his own eyebrow.

"Trying to strike a bargain?" he inquired.

"Interested?" she asked, and by the gleam in his eye immediately knew that she'd sounded too hopeful.

"No."

Kagome frowned. "Jerk."

He looked very unconcerned by this pronouncement.

"Assume your stance, Miko—you're wasting time."

Kagome did as she was told. Ordinarily, she preferred not to give Sesshoumaru the satisfaction of ordering her around, but he'd given her a good whack with the flat of his blade a few nights prior when she'd refused to follow one of his usual commands that she do one thing or another, Kagome couldn't remember which. What she did remember was the pain the blow had caused, and the fact that she'd lost her breath for several seconds…and he hadn't even hit her as hard as he could have. That blow had been a warning, and what a warning, too.

As Sesshoumaru maneuvered her into a corner, Kagome blocked his sword and tried to find a spot where she could get in a blow. It didn't even have to be something big—all she wanted to do was touch him with the blade. She didn't have to draw blood (she preferred not to, actually, since she was reasonably sure he wouldn't appreciate that), just touch him with her sword. It was something she'd been unable to do in all their lessons.

The old "Oh my arm!" or something similar wasn't going to get her anywhere, because Sesshoumaru had made it abundantly clear that he didn't care if he hurt her, so long as she was still able to purify. Nor would the "What's that over there?" routine be acceptable, as Sesshoumaru would know there was no one else in the dojo but them; his people stayed very far away from the dojo when their lord and his "guest" were locked in grueling practice, and besides that, Sesshoumaru had very good senses—he'd know she was lying through her teeth, and the stunt would likely as not result in another whack. No, landing a blow would take a level of clever Kagome wasn't entirely sure she possessed. It would have been easier if his senses had been blunted somehow…or if he weren't quite so fast…or quite so frighteningly cunning….

...Basically, her odds would have been better if he weren't, well, Sesshoumaru.

Perhaps Sesshoumaru took pity on her, though Kagome couldn't really see that happening, either in this universe or any other one. Most likely, it was the gods who took pity on her and allowed her the opportunity to strike: Sesshoumaru swiped at her head, looking for all intents and purposes as if he wanted to lop it off (and he probably did, Kagome silently lamented) and the young miko had the presence of mind to duck just in time for his blade to cut through the air where her neck had been a few seconds ago, and also slice some of her hair, but Kagome wouldn't realize that particular loss until much later. The demon lord used so much force his blade lodged rather deeply into the wall, something which very much alarmed Kagome with its implications—when she'd told him the kenjutsu lessons could be used as a way of venting their frustrations with each other, she hadn't given him permission to eliminate said frustrations _permanently_….

She looked up to judge how long it would take her to run, saw his sword was still stuck and realized this was her opportunity. Kagome immediately surged to her feet, her sword ending up under Sesshoumaru's jaw, the blade pressing against his skin ever so slightly; she wasn't sure if his skin was thicker than hers, but she wasn't taking any chances—_no way_ would she cut him and give him a legitimate excuse to prematurely end her life. Her eyes met his, determined blue-gray to icy amber. They stared at each other, motionless, in heavy silence for some time, and then Kagome murmured,

"I win."

To her shock, she saw a vague sort of approval flicker through his gaze before it disappeared.

"And so you have," he intoned. "It would appear you aren't quite so stupid as I thought."

He really did have the most amazing talent for left-handed compliments.

"I'm gonna cut you," she snapped, glaring at him.

He cracked his knuckles behind her head, and then his hand wrapped around the back of her neck, the long, elegant fingers with their deadly claws glowing green.

"Really?" His expression never changed, but the message was clear: if she so much as pressed the blade into his skin, she'd be dead before she could finish the job.

Neither one moved, and after a while, Kagome began to shift from foot to foot.

"Okay, could we just call a truce or something?" she asked. "My neck's starting to hurt from all the craning back to look at you and all the abuse."

He didn't say anything, but he did let go of her, and Kagome lowered her sword and rubbed the back of her neck, then quickly cracked it. She sent Sesshoumaru a bad-tempered look.

"Why'd you have to be so tall, anyway?" she complained.

"A more intelligent question would be why you insist on wasting my time with annoying, brainless chatter," was the demon lord's dry, monotone reply.

Kagome muttered under her breath about hubris and men, but assumed her stance and waited for an attack that never came.

Instead, Sesshoumaru clasped his hands behind his back and asked,

"Why do you wish to go to this human village, Miko?"

Kagome stared at him owlishly for several seconds, wondering what he was talking about, then remembered her request to go to the village with Kohaku, his refusal…her attempt to bargain an agreement out of him and his refusal—whoa! Was he going to _reconsider_?

"I want to," she said, dropping her stance, her sword limp in her hand.

Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.

"That is not an acceptable reason, Miko."

"I don't _have_ a reason, Sesshoumaru," she said in exasperation, "I just want to. I'm surrounded by youkai who hate me, and the only human company I have is Kohaku-kun, and he's nice to me and everything, but it's not…enough."

Demon and human considered each other in silence for a long while, and then Sesshoumaru's lips twitched ever so slightly.

"If I were to grant your request, would you shut up and concentrate on your lesson?"

Kagome immediately nodded her head vigorously, and Sesshoumaru sighed quietly, obviously weary.

"Fine then—go with the old shit if you so desire."

"Arigatou," she murmured, bobbing her head demurely; inside, however, she was screaming and jumping with joy.

"Do remember the provisions of my agreement, Miko: so long as you pay attention and concentrate, you will be allowed to accompany the old shit," Sesshoumaru warned. "If you should so much as misstep, I will not hesitate to rescind my generous offer."

Again, Kagome nodded vigorously—so vigorously, in fact, that she made her head throb dully with pain. She clutched a hand to the side of her head and groaned, and Sesshoumaru's eyes rolled heavenward.

"Gods above," he muttered. He sent her a look that plainly told her he thought she was an idiot (which she was now used to, sadly enough), then slipped into his stance. "All right you twit, the lesson isn't over yet. Stop wasting my time."

And with those words of encouragement, Kagome's sensei leapt at her and tried to slice her head off.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Two mornings later, Kagome and Kohaku set out for the human village, Kohaku with a bamboo basket strapped to his back, and Kagome armed with her bow and arrows and her sword…and a freshly wounded forearm.

"However did you do that, Kagome-sama?" Kohaku had asked her upon seeing the brilliant white bandage on her left arm.

Kagome sent him a thin smile:

"I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count."

The old man sent her a knowing look.

"Ah: Sesshoumaru-sama."

"Mr. Personality himself," she agreed with a nod, then sent a suspicious look over her shoulder, obviously looking for the demon lord. Upon not finding him, she jerked her head in satisfaction, then turned back to Kohaku and whispered conspiratorially, "He hates it when I call him that, and he whacks me good when he hears it."

"Perhaps you should stop calling him that," Kohaku advised as they left the shiro and the heavy doors shut loudly and heavily behind them.

"And miss that weird muscle in his jaw that starts jumping like crazy when I piss him off? No way!" Kagome returned. "It's fun. And definitely worth the pain. I didn't even notice that weird little muscle until last night, either. I wonder how long it's been jumping like that and I haven't noticed it?"

They journeyed down the mountain, conversing companionably about the village and its inhabitants.

"I still can't wrap my mind around why Chuckles let them build it so close to his shiro," she said, shaking her head. "He's _so_ weird! I mean, you think you've got a handle on him, you know? Human-hating, cold-hearted ass—and then he does something like let humans build a village at the base of the mountain he lives on."

Kohaku's lips twitched faintly.

"I have never tried to understand Sesshoumaru-sama," he commented.

Kagome snorted.

"You're a smarter person than I," she returned and Kohaku's smile became a little more visible.

They reached the village three hours later, the hike down the mountain taking a lot longer than it should have because Kohaku was so old. He was in pretty good shape for an old man, but the fact remained that climbing down mountains was something more suited to a person Kagome's age.

Their appearance was greeted by people who waved in a manner most welcoming, and a lot of these people were smiling too.

"Hm," Kohaku grunted as they walked through the village; he was thoughtfully watching the people.

"What?" Kagome asked, pausing in her cheerful return of the greeting to look over at the old man.

"I've never been greeted quite this eagerly," he noted.

"Oh?" Kagome looked surprised by the news.

Kohaku nodded.

"They're friendly enough, of course, but not like this, usually." He glanced at Kagome out of the corner of his eye. "Must be my company—this village isn't graced with a miko."

Now that made a little more sense to the young woman—she was very sure that Sesshoumaru would have violently objected to having a miko so close to him. He didn't mind her because he knew she wasn't going to purify his arrogant hide unless he had sufficiently pissed her off, and he was smart enough to stop before the idea occurred to her at a moment when she would have seriously considered it.

Kagome and Kohaku ended up at the head man's hut, a squat, sour-looking man who, upon seeing Kohaku, smiled slightly, but, upon seeing Kagome, looked suspicious.

Kohaku bowed lowly to the head man.

"Akira-san," he greeted.

"Kohaku-san," was the squat man's reply, his eyes on Kagome.

"The young lady is an old friend of my family, Akira-san. Kagome-sama recently came to Sesshoumaru-sama's shiro to assist with that trouble we've been having."

Akira looked her up and down, then grunted.

"I suppose a miko would be a good idea at this point in the business," he said, a comment that mystified Kagome to no end. Akira didn't elaborate on it, however, and so Kagome was left to try and figure out what exactly the man's words were supposed to mean, and whether or not the implication was of a complimentary nature.

They entered the headman's hut and sat down with him by the fire pit. His wife gave them tea, which Kagome and Kohaku politely thanked her for. Akira's wife settled down at her husband's side after serving him, and Kagome was struck by the docility of the woman's manner. She decided that she would never have been able to pull that off, not even under pain of death, because she _really_ wasn't the submissive type.

"So then, Kohaku-san," Akira said, setting his tea down. "I suppose you've come for your supplies?"

Kohaku nodded. "Hai," he murmured with a faint smile.

"You're late," Akira commented. "By about a month, I'd say. We were beginning to wonder what had happened to you. Even with all the trouble plaguing us recently, you've always kept to a schedule."

Kohaku shrugged and bobbed his head, still smiling ever so slightly.

"Sesshoumaru-sama was gone for some time, and only he can give me my leave to come and gather my supplies."

"Ah," Akira said, then turned his gaze on Kagome. "And I take it _you_ were the reason the youkai lord was gone so long?"

Kagome pursed her lips, trying to keep from disliking this man, though he was making it very difficult. She did not take to his manner at all, and she didn't appreciate the tone he'd taken with Kohaku—condescending, as if the elderly man were little better than a child.

"Hai," she replied. "Sesshoumaru-sama came to ask if I'd be willing to assist him, and I was happy to. I knew his brother."

Akira raised an eyebrow.

"The youkai lord has a brother?" he asked, voice skeptical.

"Hai," Kagome returned, voice beginning to frost over. "Or rather, he _had_ a brother. Inuyasha died some time ago, but he mentioned me often to his elder brother. That's how Sesshoumaru-sama knew where to find me."

Akira pursed his lips and eyed her, but said nothing, and after a tense pause, Kohaku quietly cleared his throat and began informing Akira of what supplies he meant to collect. Kagome, fuming, sat silent and glared into the fire.

So much for trying to like the man.

They left the headman's hut an hour later, and Kagome was glad to be away from Akira. She hadn't paid close attention, but it appeared Kohaku had made some sort of agreement with Akira, something involving herbs with medicinal properties and herbs for use against unfriendly demons. Once the herb price had been agreed upon and Akira had them in his palm, Kohaku was free to venture out into the village and gather his supplies.

"Kagome-sama?" Kohaku queried as they walked in the direction of the rice fields.

"Yeah?" Kagome returned.

"Why did you call Sesshoumaru-sama…well, Sesshoumaru-sama?" the old man asked, obviously curious.

Kagome stopped walking and frowned. "What?" she asked.

Kohaku nodded his head.

"You called him Sesshoumaru-sama. I've never heard you speak so respectfully of my lord."

"I didn't even realize I called him that," Kagome admitted. She began walking again, slowly, and Kohaku waited for her to reach his side before beginning to walk again. "I guess I didn't like the way Akira kept calling him 'the youkai lord'."

"It _is_ appropriate," Kohaku pointed out.

"I'm not saying it isn't," Kagome said quickly. "I just…I didn't like the way he said it. I mean, he should be kissing the ground Sesshoumaru walks on—the only reason he's alive is because _Lord Superior_ lets him stay that way. He seems ungrateful, I guess is what I'm getting at."

Kohaku nodded.

"I see," he said. "Perhaps, Akira-san is a little ungrateful. I've never heard him speak of Sesshoumaru-sama, much less refer to him. He's quite prejudiced against youkai." Kohaku sent her a wise look. "Remember, Kagome-sama, not everyone has had the luck with youkai that you've had."

Kagome shrugged, a little repentant. "Yeah," she muttered in agreement, frowning. "Still though, I'd like to see who wins a fight between him and Sesshoumaru—I bet he'll be a lot more grateful then!"

Kohaku smiled slyly.

"Perhaps you've grown fond of Sesshoumaru-sama?"

Kagome sent the old man a deeply affronted look:

"Nothing but a sharp blow to the head would make me "fond" of that mutt." She paused, thought over what she'd said and sent Kohaku a wary look. "By the way, I never said that, okay?"

"Never said what? That Sesshoumaru-sama was a mutt?"

"Uh…how about I never said anything? That's safer."

Kohaku chuckled, and they continued on to the rice fields.

Kagome helped Kohaku load up his basket with bags of rice, vegetables of various kinds, and ended up carrying two cages bearing two fat hens.

"You're gonna be eatin' real good for a while, ne Kohaku-kun?" she commented as they left the hut of the old woman who'd given Kohaku the hens in exchange for a powder of some kind—Kagome couldn't identify it for the life of her.

"For a time," he allowed. "I don't think I'll eat the hens. I'll keep them, see if I can get a rooster out of her next time. Then I won't have to depend on her to supply me."

Kagome sent Kohaku a wicked look.

"And deprive her of the absolute killing she makes off you?"

"'Killing'?"

Kagome pursed her lips.

"Yeah—you must have given her eight packets of that powder. She's set for the next year at least, and if you always pay her like that, she should be set for life by now," she explained with a mischievous grin, and Kohaku returned her grin with a faint one of his own.

"I suppose I am her best customer," he allowed, and Kagome smiled at him.

"She probably wishes you were her _only_ customer—you over-pay like crazy."

While they were walking through the village to go back to Akira's hut and say their good-byes—though Kagome would have rather left without seeing the headman again—a timid-looking young man stepped out into the road, just ahead of Kagome and Kohaku, who paused, surprised.

"Yes?" Kagome asked after a beat of nervous and puzzled silence.

"You're a miko?" he asked.

Kagome cocked her head and wondered what to say. Technically, she wasn't a miko, just the reincarnation of one. But no one seemed especially interested in technicalities, so Kagome decided to do as the Romans did, so to speak.

"Hai," she said, and the man swallowed and shifted from foot to foot. Then he bowed down very low before Kagome.

"Miko-sama, please help my sister."

Kagome sent Kohaku a surprised look.

"Uh…."

She looked back down at the man, who had raised his head to send her a pleading look. Kagome watched him for several seconds, trying not to notice the desperation in his face or the pleading in his eyes. But it was impossible for Kagome, who had never been able to ignore another's suffering, and even as she cursed herself for a hopeless, incurable sap, she sighed and said,

"I can't promise anything, but I will do what I can."

The man immediately brightened, and Kagome tried and failed to smile.

"Arigatou, Miko-sama, arigatou!" he cried.

_I wouldn't thank me yet,_ she thought darkly. _My best is nearly as bad as nothing at all._

She knew better, of course, than to say so, and instead followed the man to his hut, Kohaku trailing along behind her.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

"He's gonna be _so_ pissed off," Kagome said two hours later as she and Kohaku climbed up the mountain towards the House of the Moon.

Kagome had managed to help the young man and his little sister…and had then allowed herself to be talked into helping a dozen other people with their various problems.

It had been some time since she had dealt with actual people in this era for more than an hour—most of her time had been spent in the company of demons, foul-tempered and otherwise—so she had forgotten that the concept of germs was still beyond people here. The young man's sister had simply been sick, not possessed by a demon, as her brother had assumed. Kagome had recognized that nearly immediately, when upon walking into the hut after hearing the girl had been possessed, she felt no demonic aura coming from the girl. Further inspection revealed her initial thought to be correct, and after a little thought, Kagome had announced that the girl only needed care and a few medicinal herbs—she was extremely pleased now that she'd continued her education in herbs and their various uses after being thrown back in her own time.

Unfortunately, her "treating" the girl had opened the door to a whole slew of sick people asking for her help, and because she was cursed with a soft heart, she had attended to each and every one of them. She was not looking forward to telling Sesshoumaru that it was her fault that she and Kohaku were so very late coming back, and she was going to have to, because she was going to be very very late for her kenjutsu lesson tonight, which was going to piss him off already. Kagome sighed; _why_ did she have a knack for attracting ill-tempered demons to her side?

She helped Kohaku as they hiked up the mountain, he carrying one of the hens and shouldering the bamboo basket, and she carrying the other hen propped on her hip, her bow looped over her shoulder with her quiver, her other hand holding onto his arm. They chatted about this and that—mostly Kagome complained some more about how much she had disliked Akira, and Kohaku smiled in a patient, rather grandfatherly way while he humored her and listened to her ranting—as they went, and it was nearly sun down when Kagome felt a swell of youki that made her stop. Kohaku, feeling it as well, also stopped and they stood in absolute silence and waited, wondering if they were simply mistaken.

The youki swelled again, and Kagome realized that it wasn't a youki but several. With this realization came two more: there was a battle going on up ahead, and up ahead was Sesshoumaru's shiro.

"Kohaku-kun," she said urgently, "I want you to stay here."

"Kagome-sama," he said immediately, obviously not at all keen on the idea.

"No, listen," Kagome cut in, meeting his eyes with her own worried gaze. "You haven't got any weapons on you, and besides, I wouldn't be able to concentrate if I was worrying about you."

"But you said so yourself, Kagome-sama, I have no weapon. How am I to protect myself should the battle move in my direction?" the old man pointed out.

In answer, Kagome set down the hen and drew her sword, which began glowing purple.

"Kohaku-kun, once you're under my barrier, you won't be able to get out and nothing will be able to get in unless I say so," she said, and with that plunged the blade into the dirt.

Immediately he was consumed by the sword's magic, the barrier semi-transparent to his gaze.

"I'll come back, I promise!" Kagome yelled over her shoulder as she ran towards the fight, whipping her bow off her shoulder and grabbing an arrow from her quiver.

Kohaku watched her go, helpless to do anything else, and tried to ignore the twisting in his gut at her words; one should never promise something that was uncertain.

He, of all people, would know the folly of that.

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome ran up the path, the muscles in her legs aching, her side beginning to pinch, her breathing labored and her heart pounding. She was getting closer and closer to the swelling youki, and was beginning to discern between different energies. Sesshoumaru's was the first one she recognized, something which didn't surprise her at all, given the amount of contact she'd had with it over the last month and a half or so. What did surprise her was the feel of his energy, since she had gotten used to its being relatively placid. It never failed to make her own ki a little nervous, but that never lasted more than a few seconds before everything smoothed out between the opposite energies. But as it was now, it would be nothing short of idiocy to think it remotely tranquil.

She leapt over a particularly steep bit of the trail and landed with a grunt, the impact a little harder than she had been anticipating.

"Note to self," she panted as she ran on, "Self: that was a stupid idea, and don't ever do it again."

She nearly tripped no less than three times, and despite the twisting of her gut and the terror slowly creeping over her, her clumsiness was beginning to annoy her. When she nearly landed on her face for the fourth time she growled in frustration and stamped her foot, then sighed, shut her eyes and very firmly told herself that getting angry over her tripping feet was just a manifestation of her fear, and it would not do to give into this feeling, because if she showed up to this battle hysterical, Sesshoumaru might rip her head off and to hell with needing her help. He was just cranky enough and just belligerent enough to be that completely irrational.

So, with a deep intake of breath, Kagome set off once more, this time at a pace that would not end with her kissing the dirt, and her ability to stay upright was greatly improved.

She reached the slope that marked the easy part of the path to the shiro, and broke into a run again, confident in her ability to not kill herself. Either that confidence was well-founded, or the gods decided to throw her a bone, because Kagome didn't trip once.

She arrived at the shiro to a gruesome sight: a party of six of Sesshoumaru's soldiers were locked in deadly combat with a much larger party of demons Kagome had never seen before. All around her the youki collided and swelled as the opponents attacked each other, and she controlled the urge to be sick, grumpily thinking to herself that this side effect to youki was most inconvenient for a miko, which probably meant Fate thought it a very funny joke indeed. Her life, she reminded herself, was not fair. It was also not normal, whatever the hell that was.

Kagome watched the scene, frowning; there was a niggling feeling somewhere inside her that kept insisting something wasn't right, though she wasn't sure what it could be—she knew it was something less obvious than the inherent unfairness of being outnumbered ten-to-one.

She found Sesshoumaru almost immediately: he was standing on the wall, arms crossed over his chest. She couldn't see his face, but she would have bet her life savings that he looked quite bored by the battle raging before him.

"Guess it's hard to impress a guy who's been around about four hundred years," Kagome muttered, snorting.

She returned her attention to the battle before her in time to avoid being cleaved in two by a sword.

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Rai said out of the blue, and Sesshoumaru frowned faintly, wondering why his commander sounded nervous all of a sudden. They were both watching the battle after all, and Sesshoumaru knew he hadn't missed anything.

"Speak."

"The miko," Rai said.

Sesshoumaru snorted and turned his attention back to the battle.

"Never mind her," the taiyoukai said idly. "She's a very stupid woman, but not so stupid that she'd walk right into this. Not as concerned as she was about the old shit."

"No, my lord," Rai said, and this time it was horror Sesshoumaru heard in his commander's voice, "the miko—she's _there_."

Sesshoumaru's narrowed eyes found her two seconds later—as she dove out of the way of one of the attackers' swords.

"Of course," Sesshoumaru snarled, irritated to no end. He nearly growled when he noticed her empty sheath. "And the stupid bitch doesn't have her katana! What in the seven hells am I giving up my nights for if she isn't going to use the damn thing!"

"I'll fetch her my lord," Rai said, bowing.

Sesshoumaru let out a disgusted sigh.

"Better than to leave her there," he agreed. "She's useless to me dead."

Rai jerked his head, then left his lord's side. Sesshoumaru, in the mean time, returned his attention to the battle below.

"Baka wench," he muttered. "More a nuisance than an asset. No wonder you loved the hanyou—you were perfect for each other!"

Kagome finally managed to properly nock her arrow and let it fly, with the desired results, happily.

"Oh gods," she said, looking skyward for a moment, "I really hate this crap."

"Miko-sama!"

Kagome looked around, searching for the rough voice that had yelled her name. She saw Sesshoumaru's commander Rai running for her, dodging the fighting demons and quickly and efficiently dispatching—with his bare hands, she couldn't help but notice—those he couldn't avoid. Kagome pursed her lips, wondering where he'd come from, then decided that he probably did the same thing Sesshoumaru did, which was to magically appear in places he didn't belong so as to freak her out.

"Rai-sama!" she called back, waving, to let him know she'd heard him. She then turned her attention to a demon whose notice she'd drawn and quickly disposed of him with another arrow. Half of her hoped Sesshoumaru was still watching—after this, there was no way he could accuse her of being useless.

The wolf demon made it to her side, looking more than a little irritated and slightly frantic.

"Miko-sama it isn't safe for you to be out here," he said firmly.

"I kinda figured that," she returned, letting another arrow fly. She jerked her head when it hit its mark and reduced the demon to ash.

"Sesshoumaru-sama insists you come into the shiro immediately," Rai said.

"I dunno, I think I'd be an asset out here right about now," Kagome returned, hand going to her quiver for a new arrow.

"My men can handle it," Rai replied, and there was a stiffness to his tone that Kagome recognized as a bruised male ego.

"I know they can," she said quickly, lips quirking as she looked up at him. "But I want to help."

Rai didn't seem to have a reply for that, and Kagome took advantage of his speechlessness to take out—with an efficiency that surprised her—three more demons before he shook himself out of his state of shock.

"Miko-sama, we appreciate the offer, but you're useless to us dead," he said, echoing his lord.

"Then I won't die, right?" Kagome cheerfully returned.

"I'm afraid it's not that simple," Rai said, then turned as he sensed approaching danger. He cut down his enemy with that frightening quickness of movement that made him one of Sesshoumaru's greatest assets, then looked back at Kagome.

"You'd be amazed, Rai-sama," Kagome said to him with a grin, "how simple not dying is for me."

Rai's eyes narrowed.

"A very strange human," he murmured, then turned back to protecting his lord's investment from harm, since she was being stubborn.

**(A/N: Crap, I forgot to warn you guys earlier, things get a little gross. The squeamish among you may not want to read the next paragraph. Warned you.)**

Kagome looked around again, quite pleased with her aim today; she hadn't failed to hit her mark once, and she thought this might be a new record. Yes, today she was on a roll, and she only hoped it kept up, because it would suck to peak this early in the game. She glanced around and checked on Rai. She was just in time to see the wolf demon shove his sword into his opponent to the hilt, then rip upwards. Blood spattered everywhere, including on Kagome, and she managed to scrunch her eyes shut before any of the blood flew into her eyes. The impact of the warm liquid against her face, however, was nearly as bad as what she'd prevented, and Kagome had to work very hard at not throwing up. With difficulty, she mastered the impulse and opened her eyes. Rai had turned away from the enemy he'd partially ripped in half to face off with another, and that was why he didn't see the archer aiming for him. But Kagome did and in true Kagome fashion, she didn't think but acted:

She ran forward and shoved Rai out of the way of the arrow's path. She was not quick enough, however, to avoid it herself, and the shaft slammed into her right shoulder and through it, stopping short of actually breaking through to the other side, though through the excruciating pain that made her gasp instead of scream like she wanted to, she felt the metal point straining against her skin.

Kagome fell forward onto her hands and knees, panting shallowly, her mind unable to focus on anything but the white-hot bite of pain. She couldn't bring herself to look at her shoulder, feeling the blood slide down her back, warm and wet, and that scared her more than the fact that she was now vulnerable. The sounds of combat dimmed all around her, and she felt herself getting faint, her vision misting. Someone grabbed her and jerked her to her feet, and the mist cleared from her vision and the strange, muted sound to the world abruptly fell away, and Kagome looked up dazedly and saw Rai holding her upright by her good arm, demanding to know if she was all right. Kagome faintly decided he must want to know if she was all right aside from the very much visible arrow sticking out of her shoulder. She felt the bile backing up in her throat, so she didn't trust an actual verbal response to his query to not end badly. She nodded her head, and while he sent her a disbelieving look, he didn't have the luxury of calling her on it; they were still in the middle of defending the shiro, and with obvious reluctance, he let go of her and turned back to his job.

Kagome was still drawing shallow breaths, and the pain was still screaming through her. She saw her bow laying on the ground a few feet away, where she'd fallen to her knees, and she drew in a steadying breath and went to it, picking it up carefully with her left hand, whimpering the whole while because any little movement made the arrow in her shoulder twitch, and every twitch felt like her arm was being ripped off, ligament by ligament, nerve by nerve. She heard a shout and looked up, eyes glassy, and saw more of Sesshoumaru's men coming. She swallowed with difficulty, then looked around, saw there was still some rubbish to get rid of, and moaned softly. Gods, it'd be so much easier on her if she let Sesshoumaru's men finish them off…but she had wanted to help, and so far she'd only taken down six. That didn't feel like enough of a contribution, not now, not when she'd been working so hard to improve, and for a moment Kagome wished desperately that she had her sword with her. It would have made finishing things much simpler for her.

The young miko forced herself to draw another arrow from her quiver, forced herself to nock the arrow and forced herself to sight along the shaft through the tears clouding her vision, through the pain howling through her. She let it fly and it smashed into one demon and instantly purified him…and the one next to him, much to her relief. She didn't know how she'd done it, but she was so glad she had, because that was one less arrow she had to nock with an injured shoulder. She drew arrow after arrow, tears running down her cheeks with every excruciating movement, but Kagome gritted her teeth and forced herself to breathe, even if it was unsteady, hitching breaths.

"Miko-sama!" Rai yelled, and Kagome paused, her hand closing over nothing. She groped empty air for a moment before she realized she had run out of arrows, and then she really wished she had her sword with her.

The wolf demon appeared at her side and grabbed her by the good arm.

"Miko-sama," he said again, his face very worried.

"I'm all right," she said faintly, making a conscious effort to keep a tight grip on her bow; it wouldn't do to lose it again.

"You're very pale," Rai returned.

Kagome's lips quirked into a ghost of a smile:

"I just look that way because of the blood, Rai-sama," she returned, then grunted in surprise when her knees failed her and she fell forward. Only Rai's grip on her arm saved her from falling on her face.

"That needs to come out, Miko-sama," Rai said seriously, and Kagome felt the blood drain from her face.

_Come out?_

"No!" she yelped, jerking back, away from him. "I like it there!"

"Miko-sama, be reasonable," Rai chided.

"She's incapable of it," came Sesshoumaru's voice, and the miko and the demon looked up to see the taiyoukai striding toward them, his soldiers following him at a distance.

Sesshoumaru did not like the feeling that had risen in him when he'd watched the stupid woman get hit by the arrow. His first reaction had been, predictably, irritation. Seeing her fall to her knees, however, had made his hackles rise unpleasantly. He had been very close to going out there himself to fetch her when Rai had reached her and dragged her out of harm's way, more or less. He had not stayed to see the rest: he'd leapt down, picked two men at random and had ordered the gate opened, with the warning that any man who let the enemy breach the walls would answer to Sesshoumaru.

They had joined in the fray, Sesshoumaru working his way ever closer to Kagome. He had immediately picked up on the unique tang of her blood, and had been alarmed to find the air around her thick with it. Humans couldn't lose so much blood—this was something he knew for a fact. Despite the unwilling concern he'd felt, he had been inordinately pleased by the miko's grit. She was in pain and losing more blood every second, but she set her chin and did her part. She might yet convince him she was the right miko for the job.

The taiyoukai reached Kagome's side, and Rai rose and stepped back from the miko with a bow for his lord. Sesshoumaru knelt down before the miko and eyed her critically. She was ghastly white, and there was blood spattered all over her face and neck and haori—most of it on the haori was hers. Her eyes had a glassy look to them, and she was shaking. He took firm hold of her good shoulder and drew her forward, over his arm.

"Sesshoumaru," she choked out, voice edged with panic and the beginnings of hysteria.

"The arrow comes out now Miko," the demon lord intoned, voice brooking no argument.

He snapped off the end—she whimpered and grabbed his arm through his haori sleeve—then sat her upright and gently tugged her haori and underkimono off the injured shoulder. There were mutterings from the men, but a poisonous look from Sesshoumaru shut them up.

"I don't mind if it stays," Kagome blurted, staring at him with huge, terrified eyes.

"Be quiet," he ordered, leaned her back over his arm and without warning her pushed the arrow through her shoulder, finally breaking through the skin. Kagome was only able to draw in a sharp, choked breath. The arrow fell to the grass and dirt, gory with blood, and the new wound dripped dark blood over it slowly.

"Breathe, Miko," Sesshoumaru ordered, pressing his palms over the entry and exit wounds.

She let out a pained, anguished sound, not quite a scream but loud nonetheless. His hand contracted, squeezed viciously, and she did scream this time.

"Breathe," he snapped, voice vicious.

She did as he ordered, her breaths shallow and hitching, but she did it, and he allowed her to lean against his upper arm, allowed her to force her weight on him. It was no great chore, simply uncomfortable and annoying. He lifted his eyes to his commander, who was watching the miko with solemn expression.

"Rai," he said quietly, but there was no mistaking his displeasure, and Rai's gray eyes went to his lord's face.

The wolf demon bowed lowly.

"I beg you forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama, for not bringing in the miko when you ordered it."

"It was my fault," Kagome piped up, her voice muffled because she was pretty much bent over on Sesshoumaru's arm.

"I told you to be quiet," Sesshoumaru snapped irritably.

"Yeah," she returned, "but you didn't say for how long." She struggled to sit up, but Sesshoumaru wouldn't let her, so she reached up his sleeve and zapped him. He flinched and hissed, letting up just enough that she could sit up. She landed hard on her rear, but she seemed less concerned with her graceless landing than with making Sesshoumaru understand that her injury had not been any fault of Rai's.

"Rai-sama told me to go in, but I wouldn't. I wanted to help," Kagome said.

Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrow.

"And wasn't that a smashing success." he dryly observed, licking her blood off the palm of his hand pointedly.

She glared at him.

"I did help," she insisted. "I just got hit because I didn't move out of the way quick enough."

"She took an arrow intended for me, my lord," Rai said. He flushed slightly as he admitted, "I was not paying attention, Sesshoumaru-sama, and that is unforgivable. If not for my carelessness, Kagome-sama would not be injured."

"It's not bad, Rai-sama," Kagome said with a smile.

As a rejoinder to that obviously untrue statement, Sesshoumaru lightly tapped her wound and she let out a strangled sound and sent him a killing look.

"Sadist," she spat.

"Moron." he replied.

Rai and Sesshoumaru helped her to her feet, Kagome insisting the whole time that it was all her fault and Rai equally vehement in insisting it was all his fault. Sesshoumaru quickly grew irritated with both of them:

"You're both incompetent twits," he snapped. "Now shut up and get into the shiro, stupid woman, you've caused me enough frustration for one day."

"What did I ever do to you?" Kagome demanded, deeply offended by his tone and accusation.

"Exist," was the cool reply, and Kagome rolled her eyes.

"And he wonders why I call him 'Mr. Personality'," she muttered, gingerly pulling her underkimono and haori back into order. She paused as saying "Mr. Personality" made her remember something, and her eyes widened:

"Kohaku-kun!" she yelped, then turned, leaned over and grabbed her bow and began running back down the mountain.

Sesshoumaru, Rai and the House of the Moon's soldiers watched her departure, and then Sesshoumaru sighed wearily and looked up at the sky.

"I've been cursed," he muttered before he followed in the miko's wake.

Rai pursed his lips, then began walking after his lord, and after exchanging unsure glances, the soldiers followed their commander.

_Yes, a very strange human indeed._

**> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >**

Kagome was starting to feel sick and light-headed again by the time she reached Kohaku. The old man was anxiously standing under the barrier of her glowing sword, watching the road leading to the shiro with worry etched into his creased face. He looked intensely relieved to see her…until he noticed the blood staining nearly her entire right sleeve, that is.

"Kagome-sama!" he yelled, alarmed.

She stumbled to a stop before the barrier, nearly pitching forward on her face. Her vision was blurring, and the mist was back. She blinked rapidly, trying to clear it even though she was fairly sure blinking wasn't going to do a lick of good, considering that she'd been doing that for the last ten minutes with no discernable results.

"I'm okay Kohaku-kun, it's just a scratch," she assured him, then realized he hadn't heard her when he continued to stare at her blood-soaked shoulder in horror. She waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention, which she did when his eyes flew up to her face.

"Are you all right?" he asked anxiously, and Kagome felt a stab of guilt.

"I'm fine," she assured. "It just looks bad. Here, let me get you out of there, okay?"

She reached forward, hand sliding into the barrier. She grabbed hold of the handle, and jerked. Nothing happened. She jerked harder, and the sword loosened in the dirt a little, but the barrier didn't disappear. Disgruntled now, Kagome brought her injured right arm into play, despite the pain movement caused—not to mention that it made the blood begin to leak out again and slide down her arm to drip drip drip onto the dirt below—and jerked back with all her might. The sword slipped out of the dirt, the barrier dissipated, and Kagome managed to keep from falling on her rear end.

"Kagome-sama," Kohaku murmured, face pale. "What happened?"

"I helped," she said faintly, weaving. The world tilted and narrowed and then darkened, and Kagome's eyes rolled into the back of her head as she fell to the dirt unconscious.


	17. Truth

**_DEAD_ IS A YEAR OLD. OH, AND THE HACK IS STILL A LIAR. **And so, you get a double shot. In part to make up for all the time I left you all hanging, and also because Chpt Eighteen is really Chpt Seventeen, Part II, but Seventeen would have been way too long if I hadn't split it up. So here it is, a gift to you from me, for _Dead_'s birthday. Enjoy.

* * *

Disclaimer: Chpts One thru Nine

* * *

Words To Know:

No vocab this time. : ).

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Truth**

**X-x-X**

_'Cause I threw you the obvious,_

_To see what occurs behind the_

_Eyes of a fallen angel, _

_Eyes of a tragedy…_

_Oh well…oh well…_

_Apparently nothing…_

_Apparently nothing at all…._

"3 Libras"/ A Perfect Circle

**X-x-X**

She was forgetting something.

Kagome had the oddest sensation that she had forgotten something, but she couldn't for the life of her figure out what that something could be. Had she left the stove on? Maybe she had forgotten to feed Buyo, or pick up Souta from school and take him to the doctor for Mama? Or maybe she had forgotten to pick up Jii-chan's prescription from the pharmacy?

No. None of that sounded right. There was something wrong with her list, it didn't seem like…the right time. As in, the right time period. She was thinking in terms of her time. And so far, nothing was ringing a bell. So that meant she'd forgotten to do something in the Sengoku Jidai.

She was gradually becoming aware of something else: she was unconscious, but she was slowly coming out of it. The quicker consciousness came, the more fretful she became. She needed to remember what she was forgetting before she awakened. She didn't know why, but whoever she was forgetting—wait a minute. Whoever?

Whoever….

Whoever….

"She's coming around."

She was forgetting _someone_, not something. But who could she be forgetting…? And all of a sudden, it all came rushing back to her, and her eyes snapped open:

"Kohaku!"

Sesshoumaru had felt the minute changes in Kagome's ki that had warned him that her return to consciousness was not going to be at all calm or serene, and he shot back in time to avoid being zapped when she shot upright on her futon, yelling the old man's name in a panicked voice. Rai and Yuki were not so lucky: Kagome's ki sent them slamming into the wall clear across the room, and Sesshoumaru winced then sighed and made a weary mental note to get someone to fix the cracks in the miko's wall. Then he looked over at the miko herself.

She was still pale and spattered with blood. Her hair was no longer held back by her ribbon—she'd lost it some time during the chaos, he supposed—and her injured shoulder was bleeding again. She'd ripped open the scab that had sealed off the wound. The area around it was pink, and there was dried blood all over her arm and down her side. The only reason he knew this was because Yuki had divested the miko of her haori and underkimono and left her in the bindings wrapped around her chest. He just hoped she didn't start screaming when she realized that.

"Kohaku!" she said again, looking around wildly.

"Quit that abominable screeching," Sesshoumaru ordered, drawing her gaze to him.

"But Ko—"

"The old shit is quite safe, Miko," the taiyoukai said coldly; if he ever heard that hated name again, it would be too soon, in his opinion.

There were groans from the other side of the room, and Kagome turned her attention there. Sesshoumaru looked over his shoulder. Rai had risen and was helping Yuki to her feet. The shika had a hand pressed to her back, and there was a noticeable wince on her face.

"Yuki-san? Rai-sama?" Kagome asked, voice puzzled. "Why were you on the floor? Did something happen?"

Both sent her disbelieving looks, and Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes.

"Don't pay attention to her," he said. "How badly did the impact hurt the wall?"

"Not very bad, Sesshoumaru-sama," Rai said. "Yuki-san is a very light woman. And I believe a beam took most of my weight. A little damage to the plaster, nothing more serious than that."

"Finally, some good news," Sesshoumaru muttered, looking back down at Kagome, whose brow was wrinkled with confusion.

"Weren't we outside before?" she asked.

"Kagome-sama, can you remember anything?" Yuki asked, coming to Kagome's futon assisted by Rai. The ookami commander was not as brave as the shika, and so did not kneel down next to her at the young miko's side.

Kagome pursed her lips.

"I remember…going to the village with—"

"She means after that you dumb bitch," Sesshoumaru interrupted, tone bored, and Kagome glared up at him.

"She was talking to _me_, Asshole—wait your turn," she snapped.

_Much better,_ the youkai lord decided. _The bite's back in her voice._ Kagome, he had concluded, did not do pitiful well at all. Total screw-up and obnoxious human, however, suited her just fine.

Of course, he wasn't going to say so out loud, so he replied with,

"Keep a civil tongue in your head or I'll rip it out."

To which she stuck out said tongue at him, and he raised an eyebrow that clearly said, "Ah, so you'd like me to rip it out right now?"

"Kagome-sama?" Yuki asked, bringing the miko's attention from Sesshoumaru, which secretly relieved both Yuki and Rai, who were shocked their lord allowed the woman to get away with such disrespect, and nervous that his famed patience might soon run out if something wasn't done. Of course, Yuki wasn't quite as shocked as Rai, since she'd actually heard the miko refer to her lord in a disrespectful manner since day one. The shika had just never dreamed the daft woman would actually use the disrespectful language when talking _to_ Sesshoumaru.

Kagome's gaze dropped down to her lap, and her eyes clouded and her brow wrinkled as she fought through the haze in her head to remember how she had ended up in the shiro if being outside was the last thing she remembered.

"There was a fight?" she asked, voice very uncertain, looking up at Yuki.

The shika nodded.

"The shiro was attacked a little before sundown."

"When the miko was conveniently gone," Sesshoumaru murmured, and Kagome looked up at him.

"You think my not being here had something to do with the timing?" she asked, surprised. "He didn't seem very impressed by me, Sesshoumaru."

The youkai lord snorted softly.

"A miko, however untutored, is still a miko. And an untutored miko can be even more dangerous than one who knows her strength—the risk of purification can actually go up." he returned.

Kagome tilted her head to the side as she thought about this and decided he had a point: a loose cannon was always a dangerous unknown. But she'd gotten a lot better since she'd last seen the demon…right?

"And you're wrong about his not being impressed by you," Sesshoumaru added. "You terrify him on some level—all youkai can be purified, Miko, no matter how powerful. It may take longer and require more energy for some, but it can be done, without a doubt. The secret is getting you close enough."

Kagome pursed her lips, loath to admit that Sesshoumaru sounded right, so she decided not to admit any such thing. Instead, before Yuki or Rai or Sesshoumaru could stop her, she reached up and absently scratched her right shoulder, which was bothering her. The second her fingers touched her shoulder, she shrieked and jumped, pain tearing up and down her arm and down her back.

"Ow ow ow ow!" she moaned, hunched over, panting.

"What were you doing you stupid bitch?" Sesshoumaru demanded, kneeling down to examine the wound and make sure she hadn't made it worse.

"It hurts," she whimpered.

"Well of course it hurts, baka, there was an arrow in it half an hour ago."

Yuki suggested she help Kagome clean up, and Sesshoumaru let her help the weak miko to the bath house. He sent Rai to go see to the men and ascertain how many soldiers the House of the Moon had lost, and then he settled down beside the miko's futon to await her return, brooding.

The shika servant and her still pale charge returned an hour and a half later, the miko no longer smelling so strongly of her own and others' blood, face pale and still shaking faintly. When Yuki caught sight of her lord, she paused in the doorway, surprised to see him.

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" she inquired.

"Leave the miko to me," he said. "Go see about getting her something to eat. Nothing that will make her sick, if you please—she's difficult enough as it is."

"Hai Sesshoumaru-sama," she murmured, inclining her head.

She let go of the miko after making sure the young woman could stand on her own, then bowed to her lord, backed out of the room and softly slid the fusuma shut. Kagome warily eyed the demon seated by her futon.

"Get over here," Sesshoumaru ordered.

Kagome frowned at him but nevertheless padded unsteadily over to where he sat.

"Sit," he said impatiently.

Kagome startled both him and herself when she let out a snort of laughter. Sesshoumaru raised an eyebrow.

"And what, exactly," he asked despite severe misgiving, "was so humorous about that?"

Kagome shook her head, but did as he ordered.

"Nothing…it just…reminded me."

His eyebrow climbed higher.

"Of…Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru frowned, disgruntled.

"I am not that half-breed," he muttered, easing her yukata off her right shoulder to inspect the now clean area.

"No," Kagome said with a sigh. "It's just…well, the first time I met him, Inuyasha tried to kill me."

"What an odd reaction," was the dry interjection from the demon lord; the miko chose to ignore him.

"Kaede-obaa-chan threw a rosary of subjugation around his neck and yelled at me to say a word, any word, to activate the rosary."

Sesshoumaru paused, then slowly lifted his head and stared at her.

"You didn't," he said quietly.

"I said the first thing that came to mind—sit," Kagome affirmed.

Sesshoumaru's lip curled in disgust, remembering the few times he'd seen his half-sibling "sat."

"Demeaning," he snarled under his breath, and Kagome smiled faintly.

"Inuyasha hated it," she admitted. "But sometimes, he needed a good hard sit."

"What he needed was a sound beating," Sesshoumaru said, voice full of bad temper. "Insolent whelp."

"You gave him plenty of those, as I recall," Kagome shot back with more than a little ice in her tone.

"Not when he needed them most desperately," Sesshoumaru replied, tone just as icy. "He was an insolent child who should have been taught many things, etiquette and the proper manner of defending himself chief among them. It wouldn't have changed the fact that he was a loathsome hanyou, but it would have made him less useless."

"I don't understand how you can speak so ill of him," Kagome said quietly. "I saw how you treated each other the last few years of his life, when I was accidentally getting into your memories—sorry again about that, by the way," she added weakly when he sent her a withering look.

"You don't need to understand," Sesshoumaru snapped irritably, going back to inspecting the wounds.

"Maybe," Kagome said, though she knew for a fact that understanding the demon's relationship and feelings concerning Inuyasha was going to help her understand him better, and hopefully help her heal him.

"There is no room for 'maybe,' Miko," the demon growled. "You need do nothing more than what I ask of you."

"'Ask'?" Kagome repeated archly. "I find it hard to believe you ever asked for anything from anyone a day in your life."

"How astute. Now shut up," he ordered, then rose and walked around behind her, then settled down again.

"How are you going to fix me?" Kagome asked, deciding that it was better for now to switch topics.

"The same way I fixed your hand."

Kagome froze.

"It'll heal on its own," she blurted, horrified; gods, her hand was bad enough, but her shoulder? He had to be out of his mind if he thought she was going to let him lick that wound shut.

"We have no time for that," Sesshoumaru returned. "Stop being such a stupid child about this, it's irritating."

"I just bet," she said bitterly, cheeks flushing.

In the end, she sat quietly and let him attend to her shoulder because she was still too weak from blood loss to give him much of a fight, and she was just so damn tired of fighting, it seemed all she did these days was think of war and death and blood….

"Why does my life have to be so weird?" she asked quietly, staring down at her lap, brow crinkled. She wasn't really watching her lap; in fact, she wasn't really seeing anything, she was really just staring into space.

"What do you mean by weird?" Sesshoumaru asked, pausing, and Kagome blinked, surprised he'd been paying attention to her, and that he'd bothered to inquire.

"Not normal," Kagome returned. "My life has never been exactly typical—not everyone's grandfather runs around throwing sutras at supposedly possessed people or objects, you know—but it was never weird. Well, it was never inaccessibly weird. But after my fifteenth birthday…gods, if I'd known what was in store for me…."

Sesshoumaru snorted and went back to his treatment.

"You do nothing but complain," he said between laves.

"It's not complaining," Kagome corrected, rubbing her forearm slowly, absently. "I just want to know…why me? Why did Fate see fit to connect me to Kikyou and Inuyasha? What is so special about me? Because Fate has screwed with me big time, according to Miroku. Whatever was laid out for me when I was born's been scrapped, and now I have no destiny past sending this youkai of yours to hell."

"You believe your fate is planned out for you?" Sesshoumaru asked, and there was no mistaking the derisive note in his voice.

"Not entirely planned out," Kagome returned. "There's room for change. But ultimately, there are certain things that are fated to happen. Certain relationships, certain choices, certain events, and good gods, I'm starting to sound like Miroku."

"I dislike the idea of being little better than a plaything of the gods and Fate," Sesshoumaru muttered.

"Yeah, well, you would, being you," Kagome replied. "And just for the record, I'm pretty sure that's a universally shared feeling. It's scary not to have control over your life."

He snorted but didn't say anything in reply, and Kagome sighed and closed her eyes.

"I wish I was normal," she murmured, and Sesshoumaru stopped. "I wish I wasn't in love with a dead hanyou from the Sengoku Jidai, I wish I wasn't a reincarnated miko, I wish the only friends I ever really cared about were still alive, I wish I wasn't here…I'd give anything to just be normal…."

Demon and human sat in total silence for a long time, and then Sesshoumaru returned to his ministrations. Kagome didn't say another word for the rest of the time they sat together.

**X-x-X**

_This wasn't funny anymore._

_Actually, in all honesty, it had never been funny, Sesshoumaru decided as he found himself, once more, standing in a sunshine-filled, grassy field. The same one he'd found himself in some nights prior, stuck with the miko. He turned around slowly, expecting to find her…and found no one. Several lengthy moments of investigation revealed that he was completely alone in this grassy field on the dream plain._

_"Oh what fresh hell is this?" he muttered._

_"Sesshoumaru-sama," came a man's voice, and Sesshoumaru whirled around and found a man in dark blue robes standing before him._

_The demon lord's eyes narrowed; there was something familiar about this man, and it took him several seconds to place him—the houshi that had traveled with his half-brother, the same one that had come with Kohaku to ask for Rin…the same one the miko mourned._

_"The houshi," he said, voice emotionless._

_The houshi bowed._

_"Hello again Sesshoumaru-sama. It's been a very long time."_

_"What am I doing here?" Sesshoumaru demanded._

_A shadow stole over the houshi's face._

_"Sesshoumaru-sama, I thought it was about time we discussed Kagome-sama."_

_"The miko?"_

_The houshi nodded. He smiled thinly._

_"It's very important that we speak, Sesshoumaru-sama. For both you and Kagome-sama."_

_"Why isn't she here then?" Sesshoumaru threw back, suddenly very ill at ease without knowing why._

_"Kagome-sama has an appointment with someone else tonight," the houshi said with a patient smile. "One she's been waiting for for some time now. Besides, most of what you and I will be discussing, she already knows about."_

Well _that_ was unpleasant news_, the demon lord decided with a dark frown._

_It took the houshi some time to convince Sesshoumaru to sit down in the grass, and after he managed to do that, they watched each other in silence for a long time, Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed and suspicious, the houshi's serious and grim._

_"You know Kagome-sama has been dreaming with me for some time now," the houshi began quietly._

_Sesshoumaru tilted his head ever so slightly, seeing no need to reply verbally to what was really just a statement of fact._

_"I've been trying to get her ready for the task you've assigned her," the man continued, his forehead wrinkling as he frowned. "It's been difficult to do. She's experienced several deeply traumatic events all at once, and the emotional upheaval has been…devastating."_

_"Stop wasting my time with what I already know, Houshi," Sesshoumaru said coldly._

_The houshi watched him, then let out a deep breath._

_"Fine, since you're so eager to get through this," he said, and there was a thread of displeasure in his voice that Sesshoumaru didn't miss._

_"Impatient," Sesshoumaru corrected, and this time the houshi sent him a dark look._

_"I can see why she complains so much about you," he muttered._

_"She's a simple creature," Sesshoumaru said. "Complaining is the only thing she can do halfway decently."_

_"You should treat her better, Sesshoumaru-sama," the houshi snapped. "She's trying as hard as she can."_

_"I don't want her to try, Houshi—she either does what I want her to do or she doesn't." Sesshoumaru snapped back. "There is no room for 'try'."_

_"What if she doesn't?" the houshi demanded. "Have you considered that you might be sending her to her death?"_

_"Her fate is none of my concern," was the icy return._

_The houshi's face hardened._

_"Is that right," he said, voice suddenly devoid of emotion. "You don't care what happens to your ward?"_

_Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed._

_"'Ward'?" he repeated. "That insufferable woman has never been my ward—for which I am eternally grateful."_

_"_Kagome-sama _was never your ward, that's true," the houshi said coldly._

_He wasn't sure exactly when his brain made the connection. What he was sure of was his violent and immediate reply:_

_"Impossible," he snarled lowly._

_"I assure you, Sesshoumaru-sama, it is very possible, and it is entirely true." the houshi returned._

_"She is not Rin," he said from between his teeth._

_"No, she isn't. _Now_. But once, some fifty or so years ago, she was. Kagome-sama is not merely the reincarnation of Kikyou-sama. In between the two, there was Rin."_

_Sesshoumaru stared at the houshi, adamantly refusing to believe what he was saying. That stupid woman couldn't be Rin, she couldn't be…wouldn't he have recognized her? He'd raised her, damn it—he would have known her…wouldn't he have?_

_"I would have known," he said tightly._

_"Not necessarily," the houshi returned. "They're two different people, Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin isn't Kagome-sama and Kagome-sama isn't Rin. The soul is the same, but the women are not."_

_"I would have known," Sesshoumaru insisted, voice quiet and tense._

_The houshi watched him in silence._

_"Sesshoumaru-sama, even being full-blooded youkai does not mean you have any advantage over a human or a hanyou in recognizing someone from a past life. The souls always remember each other, always, though they may not realize it right away, and when the time is right, it all falls into place." he said finally. "Your association with Rin was cut short to fix a mistake from fifty years before her time."_

_"What mistake?" Sesshoumaru forced his voice to come out low and even, though he was very close to coming apart inside._

_She simply couldn't be Rin. And the hell of it was, she was. There were too many similarities—the scents were too close, the smiles too similar, particular mannerisms too familiar—for it to be a lie. She didn't look enough like her for him to have assumed she was Rin's reincarnation as well, but there was a certain familiarity to her that he'd noticed. He had simply thought it came from having seen her with his half-brother._

_The houshi's lips quirked._

_"Many many years ago, there was once a hanyou who wished to be full youkai, and a miko who guarded a jewel capable of incredible and terrible things," he said, and Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed._

_"Don't patronize me with fairy tales," he snapped._

_The houshi's lips twitched into a strange sort of smile._

_"This is no fairy tale, Sesshoumaru-sama. This actually happened, and you_ _played a part in it's conclusion."_

_There was a moment where Sesshoumaru didn't know what the houshi was_ _referring to, and nearly snarled at the infuriating man to stop speaking in riddles. And_ _then realization came suddenly, old memories forgotten that suddenly slammed into the_ _forefront of his mind._

_The houshi quietly told the demon lord a story of long ago, a story he hadn't been_ _aware of. He learned of his half-brother's affair_ _with the miko Kikyou, and how Naraku—_there_ was a name he hadn't heard in a while—had been born from the twisted heart of the bandit Onigumo. And then he learned a_ _different tale—a tale of what should have happened but hadn't, because Onigumo had_ _foiled them with his own wants and desires. Fate had deemed that Inuyasha and Kikyou_ _should live out their lives together, he as a human man and she as an ordinary woman._ _But the dictates of Fate, the houshi explained, are not absolute and carved in stone. As_ _the miko had told him, there was room for change. And unfortunately for Inuyasha and_ _Kikyou and a great many others, there had been enough room for Onigumo to slip in and change everything._

**X-x-X**

_"Oh not again," Kagome muttered._

_She was in a grassy field again, full of sunshine and wide blue skies, and Kagome_ _decided that maybe she hadn't been clear when she'd told Miroku she never wanted to be_ _stuck on the dream plain with Sesshoumaru ever again. Though how the letch hadn't_ _understood her, she couldn't for the life of her fathom—she'd been pretty direct in saying_ _that if she should ever be stuck with Sesshoumaru anywhere ever again through Miroku's_ _efforts, she'd find a way to punish the houshi. How she was going to accomplish this_ _was_ _a fascinating but troubling question, so Kagome decided she'd think about that when and_ _if the situation arose._

_She turned around, fully expecting to come face to face with a bad tempered_ _taiyoukai…and saw no one. Kagome pursed her lips._

_Okay…this was weird._

_She walked a little farther into the field and looked around, fully expecting_ _someone to come popping up from nowhere and scare her out of her mind, but nothing_ _happened. It was just her, the grass, the sky…and a little breeze that sighed through the_ _grass._

That was a nice touch, _Kagome thought absently._ I never knew Miroku-sama was so poetic.

_All this solitude was a little creepy, though. Kagome hadn't been left to her own_ _devices on the dream plain since Miroku had begun visiting her in her dreams almost a_ _month ago, and she'd gotten used to the company. Come to depend on and look forward_ _to it. Dreaming with Miroku had become her escape from her present situation, an_ _escape from Sesshoumaru and the duty he'd thrust upon her, a duty she wasn't entirely_ _sure she could complete. And…._

_And she got to see her friend again. She got to sit with him and laugh with him_ _and talk with him. It wasn't the same, of course, because once she awakened, he was no_ _longer there. But it was a kindness, one small kindness, that Fate had seen fit to afford_ _her, and Kagome treasured it._

_The miko sighed and flopped down into the grass on her back and decided Miroku_ _must be late, so she'd have to wait a little while. While she stared up at the sky, a sudden_ _flare of power that didn't originate within her made her tense, alarmed, until she realized_ _it had to be Sesshoumaru's. He'd been in the room with her when she'd finally fallen_ _asleep on her futon. She relaxed, wondering at why he'd stay after he'd_ _tended to her shoulder. She hadn't had the strength or inclination to ask, had merely_ _taken note of it before her eyes had drifted shut._

_"I guess he's letting my ki seek out his youki," she murmured. "That's_ _surprisingly civil of him."_

_She laid her forearm over her forehead and wondered what had made his youki flare like_ _that; was something wrong at the shiro? Should she wake up? But then he probably_ _would have jerked her out of this dream if it had been serious. She knew it wasn't_ _because she was dipping into his memories again, because she wasn't. She had made a_ _conscious effort to stay away from Sesshoumaru's memories, though they tempted her. It_ _would have been so much easier to understand him if she could just see what he'd seen…._

_Kagome sighed. She'd promised not to invade the private sanctum of his memory_ _ever again. She could understand why he'd been so furious—she'd invaded his head. It_ _was a violation, however unintentional. But she sensed there was more to it than her_ _treading where she'd had no business treading—she was finding out that Sesshoumaru_ _was slightly more complex than she'd first thought._

_A rustle made her start out of her musings, and she sat up to lecture Miroku on_ _making her wait—Sesshoumaru didn't let her sleep a whole lot, after all, and they were_ _on a time constraint—but the words died in her throat when she saw not Miroku, but_ _Sango._

_The two women stared at each other in silence for a long time, Kagome's eyes_ _huge and her jaw slack, Sango's face wary and nervous and happy and sad. And then_ _Kagome leapt up and shot at her friend and threw her arms around the startled woman,_ _tears dribbling down her cheeks. After Sango regained her balance, she returned_ _Kagome's embrace and they stood like that for a long time, unable to speak because they_ _were both crying…._

_And because, well, really, what did you say to someone you hadn't seen in sixty years?_

**X-x-X**

_Once the houshi had explained everything, he and Sesshoumaru sat in silence for_ _a long while._

_Sesshoumaru had not had the trouble accepting the explanation that Kagome had_ _had. In fact, he hadn't batted an eyelid. He'd simply tilted his head to one side in a vague sort of nod every now and_ _again when the houshi had paused, unsure if he should continue. He had understood_ _everything, and the explanation had been acceptable for it's logic. Or lack thereof;_ _Sesshoumaru had never made any attempt to understand the whims of Fate, and he_ _adhered to that outlook now. It served him well, all things considered—at least his head_ _didn't feel like it was going to explode._

_There were a few things he was…uncomfortable with, however. The knowledge_ _that Rin had been reincarnated as Kagome was chief among them, but that was such a_ _treacherous avenue of thought that he shied away from it. That he would sit down with_ _later, when he was alone._

_But another thing that…disturbed him…was the question of Inuyasha._

_"Where is the hanyou now?" he asked at long last._

_"Well, in this era, he and Rin are in hell. Or rather, their souls are. In Kagome-sama's time…he doesn't appear to be anywhere."_

_Sesshoumaru's eyebrow twitched upwards._

_"What do you mean by 'anywhere'?"_

_The houshi sighed and rubbed his temple._

_"I mean exactly that. As far as I can tell, he hasn't been reincarnated in her time._ _But he is no longer in hell, either. I don't know where he is. It's rather a mystery."_

_Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed._

_"How is it that you know so much of what will happen?"_

_"As a matter of fact, I don't," the houshi corrected. "I died already knowing_ _Kagome-sama was Kikyou-sama's reincarnation, but I didn't discover that Rin had also_ _been Kagome-sama's incarnate until after I died."_

_"And how did you find this out?"_

_The houshi smiled._

_"As I said, Sesshoumaru-sama: the souls remember one another. Within a body,_ _living a life, the soul is far removed from the other world. It can no longer hear the other_ _world as clearly, because the other world is filtered through this world, the world of the_ _living. It forgets things. But, as soon as it comes into contact with a familiar soul, it_ _remembers. Not who this other soul was in a past life, mind you, although on rare_ _occasions, that's happened. Those souls are unusually attuned to the other world. On_ _the whole, however, the soul only remembers that once upon a time, it had contact with_ _this other soul. If the other contact was powerful, the soul may remember that. If_ _the contact is especially powerful, the association between the souls can be transcendent._ _It appears that was the case with Kagome-sama and Inuyasha._

_"The souls had been thwarted twice, you see. Once by Onigumo, and again by_ _Fate—a mistake kept the Shikon no Tama from being implanted in Rin, and had it_ _implanted instead in Kagome-sama. This mistake was what kept Rin from realizing her_ _spiritual power. And because it remained unused—forgotten, even—when she died the_ _soul took it over. That's why Kagome-sama's soul is so large, because of the_ _untapped spiritual power. And why it was able to stand being torn apart when Kikyou-sama was resurrected. And it explains Kagome-sama's remarkable purity of spirit. Or at least, that's my conclusion, based on what I've been able to piece together. It's_ _really all very strange," the houshi added._

_Somehow, Sesshoumaru was able to keep from remarking that that was possibly_ _the least strange thing he'd heard so far._

_Instead, he said,_

_"What you're saying is that she remembered you in the other world?"_

_"Something like that," the houshi returned. "It's very difficult to explain,_ _Sesshoumaru-sama," he said apologetically when Sesshoumaru threw him a poisonous_ _look that demanded a more concrete answer. "The soul is very different from flesh and_ _bone. As is the language it speaks."_

_Sesshoumaru sighed and closed his eyes._

_"The miko says she has no destiny," he said._

_"This is true," the houshi confirmed, tone reluctant and bitter. "Right now, her_ _future isn't certain in any sense. There has been nothing written for her. This…troubles_ _me, Sesshoumaru-sama," the houshi confided, and something in the man's voice made_ _Sesshoumaru's eyes open, made him watch the other man closely, gaze considering._

_There was a long stretch of foreboding silence between them, and then the houshi_ _met Sesshoumaru's eyes._

_"I have found nothing for her. Fate hasn't touched upon Kagome-sama in the_ _least beyond the duty you've assigned her." He paused. "Sesshoumaru-sama, Fate is_ _now conspiring for you. To that end, it allowed Kagome-sama—who had been_ _languishing in her own time with no particular purpose or destiny—through the well and_ _placed her where you would be able to find her. My own appearance in her dreams is no_ _accident, either."_

_Sesshoumaru didn't know where this was going, but he didn't care for it all the same._ _There was something looming on the horizon, something he wasn't sure he was going to_ _like._

_"Your destiny…is tied to hers," the houshi said carefully. "In what way, I'm not_ _sure, which is the only reason I've kept this from her. There's something brewing, but I_ _haven't been able to find out what. The powers that be are very nervous. That much I_ _know. And they are watching you and Kagome-sama very closely. It is to their benefit_ _for you to succeed, and they've been working in your favor in the hopes that you will._ _But Kagome-sama is an unknown factor. There is a chance, no matter the amount of work on their part, that_ _you could fail, and that failure is directly tied to Kagome-sama. Your success or failure_ _depends absolutely on her."_

_"Why exactly are you telling me this?" Sesshoumaru asked after a long pause._

_"So that you are aware of what you stand up against," the houshi replied. "Your_ _enemy is more powerful than you believe. Remember that. And never forget that_ _Kagome-sama—_not her power_—will ultimately decide your destiny."_

_"That's insane," Sesshoumaru said finally._

_The houshi nodded._

_"Absolutely," he agreed. "But I never said this was going to be reasonable, now_ _did I?"_


	18. Consequences

**A/N:** Second part of this week's update. Enjoy!

* * *

Disclaimer: Chpts One thru Nine, people.

* * *

Words To Know:

Nada. : ).

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen: Consequences**

**X-x-X**

_All I knew and all I believed_

_Are crumbling images that no longer comfort me._

_I scramble to reach higher ground,_

_Some order and sanity,_

_Or something to comfort me._

"Flood"/ Tool

**X-x-X**

_It was hard to talk to Sango._

_It was also very easy._

_And how each could be true, Kagome couldn't have explained, couldn't have even_ _tried to reason out, for the life of her._

_They sat face to face in the field in silence for a long long time. Sango looked_ _much as she always had in Kagome's memories, like Miroku, and she wondered if they_ _had taken those forms for her benefit. Probably, they had._

_In the end, Kagome took in a deep breath, let it out slowly and quietly asked,_

_"How much has Miroku-sama told you?"_

_Sango seemed surprised by the question. Kagome, despite having asked it in the first_ _place, was no less surprised: she'd meant to start the conversation with the hanyou that_ _plagued her thoughts and held fast to her poor, ragged heart._

_"Everything," Sango said, once she recovered. She sent Kagome a worried look._ _"Houshi-sama is deeply troubled by your fate, Kagome-chan."_

_Kagome snorted._

_"You mean_ lack _of fate," she muttered, and Sango managed a faint smile before_ _her face smoothed out into serious lines once more._

_"I'm worried too," she said._

_Kagome swallowed dryly, uneasy with the idea of having no future—literally._

_"Sango-chan," she murmured. The young woman hesitated, not sure if she should_ _ask her friend about the unpleasant thought that had occurred to her a few days_ _prior, one she hadn't shared with Miroku, though he'd known she was struggling with_ _something._

_"Yes?" Sango prompted gently, looking concerned._

_Kagome sent her a thin smile._

_"I've been…thinking," she said slowly, still unsure. "About not having a fate,_ _you know? About what that could…mean…for me. And I was thinking…that maybe I_ _don't have a future…maybe…Miroku-sama can't find anything for me…because…."_

_Kagome closed her mouth and swallowed audibly, wet her lips with her tongue_ _and let out a low breath._

_"Because I…I'm going to…die."_

_The silence in the field was deafening, and the sunlight no longer so cheerful._

_"I'm not sure," Sango murmured at long last, and the knot in Kagome's gut_ _tightened with a jerk. "Neither I nor Houshi-sama…we haven't seen a death…but we_ _haven't seen a life, either. And, to be frank, we're worried about that."_

_Kagome didn't know what she'd been expecting, exactly. Not quite a concrete yes_ _or no, because Miroku would have given her that by now. But she had been hoping…._

_"So…I could die," Kagome said quietly._

_Sango was silent for a moment, then nodded._

_"You could," she acknowledged. "The future isn't certain. Usually, when the_ _future shows itself, it is a future meant to be changed. Usually, there are signs, omens, of_ _things to come. But your case seems to be very…special, Kagome-chan."_

"Special" again, _Kagome thought bitterly._ There's nothing "special" about any of this.

_"Kagome-chan, about all this—"_

_"No," Kagome breathed, closing her eyes. "No more. Not with you. I get the_ _gloom-and-doom from Miroku-sama every time I see him. Not from you, please. Not_ _right now."_

_Sango watched her with troubled, worried eyes, but relented:_

_"All right. No more gloom-and-doom. But don't get bitter or disheartened,_ _please. It's the worst you could do to yourself at this point."_

_Kagome opened her eyes and looked at her friend, then nodded. Sango sent her a small_ _smile that Kagome returned, and the sunlight seemed a little brighter than it had a while_ _ago._

_"Are you better these days?" Sango asked gently. "Houshi-sama's told_ _me…you've been having a hard time."_

_Kagome smiled ruefully._

_"I miss you guys," she murmured. "When I came through the well again, I didn't_ _realize so much time had passed—only ten years have gone by in my time. And then, I_ _found out Kaede-baa-chan was gone…and Inuyasha…."_

_Sango leaned forward and placed a comforting hand on Kagome's._

_"Kagome-chan," she murmured._

_Kagome closed her eyes and let out a short, tired laugh._

_"He was trying to get to me when he died. Did you know that?"_

_"No," Sango replied after a pause._

_"He jumped down the well on the night of the new moon, and ended up breaking his neck."_

_"Kagome-chan," Sango said sharply, "stop that. It's not your fault."_

_"He was trying to get to me!" Kagome snapped, her head snapping up, gaze_ _furious. "Whose fault is it then, if it isn't mine!"_

_Sango watched her in silence for a time._

_"It's not your fault," she repeated sternly._

_"Then whose?" Kagome demanded. "Who can I thank for that?"_

_The two women stared at each other, Kagome angry and desperate and hurt, Sango sad_ _and conflicted and hurt._

_"No one," she murmured finally. "There is no one to blame, and no one to thank._ _That's just how it was written."_

_"It's not fair," Kagome whispered raggedly._

_"Oh Kagome-chan," Sango said sadly, moving forward to embrace her heart-broken friend_ _tightly. "It was never supposed to be."_

**X-x-X**

Sesshoumaru returned to consciousness before Kagome did, and when he opened his eyes, it was to a dark room.

He lifted his head and saw the tray he'd ordered Yuki to bring sitting by Kagome's bedside. The dishes were covered, but he was fairly sure that they were all cold by now; the food didn't smell fresh.

He looked over at the woman on the futon. She had the end of his pelt tightly gripped and wrapped around one hand.

_She can't be…._

Sesshoumaru knew that what the houshi had said, about incarnates and their reincarnations not always being similar to the point of instant recognition, was true. The soul was a separate entity from the flesh, after all. The body did not join the soul in the other world, just as the soul did not stay with the body in this one. So it was entirely possible for a soul's various reincarnations to look nothing alike, or act nothing alike, or both.

But…to have Rin back in this form…in this alien being, this alien _thing_, that he couldn't separate from his damnedable half-brother's memory…. _Why_? Why _her_?

The smell of tears drew his gaze to her face. They were leaking out of her eyes and running down her cheeks, and she was sobbing in her sleep. This miserable, weak human woman. This horribly fragile human woman. This was Rin?

His hand, quite without his permission, reached out and hovered over her head. He wasn't sure what he meant to do. Kill her while she slept? Was it better to end her miserable existence now, end this Rin's life at his hand rather than let it end at someone else's? Or offer comfort? Let this Rin know that he was near by and she need not fear what demons plagued her sleep?

His hand hovered over her head for a long time, trembling faintly with the effort of holding back both the urge to destroy and the long dead urge to nurture. In the end, his hand descended and settled on her head—the urge to nurture had won out.

Then again, something about Rin had always stayed his hand. Something about that human made it impossible for him to deal with her as he dealt with others.

"Damn you," he whispered quietly, viciously. He didn't know who he was damning—the houshi, the miko, Rin, Fate, himself. Maybe all. Maybe none.

"_Damn you_."

**X-x-X**

Sesshoumaru spent the next three days sitting in Kagome's room next to her futon, silent and unmoving, while she slept and allowed her body to restore itself. If she found this arrangement odd, she didn't give any sign. And if any of the house staff found this odd, they were smart enough to keep it to themselves.

Yuki came in to help her attend to personal needs and to give Kagome her meals, rice gruel and tea mostly. And Jaken came in to inform his lord of the goings-on within and without the shiro. But other than them, no one came into the room.

The taiyoukai spent much of that time contemplating the far wall that still bore a large crack in it from Kagome's return to consciousness, and trying not to do too much thinking, which was completely at odds with his disposition. He was given to contemplation by nature, and he found it difficult to repress such a natural action, at least at first. Gradually—and especially when he allowed Kagome's ki to seek out his youki—it got easier to ignore the need to process and ponder and examine and understand. It was too soon to try to do that with all he'd heard from the houshi. Better to ignore it for now, and wait until later.

It was an excuse, and he knew that, but he chose to ignore that too. Because the truth of the matter was that he wanted to pretend nothing had changed. And if he started thinking, he'd be admitting that everything had changed, and he couldn't bear to do that right now.

So he sat quietly by Kagome's futon and let her hold onto his pelt and forced himself not to think.

Because everything was wrong again.

**X-x-X**

"Crap," Kagome gasped, just barely able to block Sesshoumaru's blow.

"It is that, yes," the demon intoned, abruptly bringing the hilt of his practice sword up to strike her.

Kagome jerked left and leapt back, her katana sweeping out in a rather useless attempt at keeping Sesshoumaru at bay. He easily dodged it and nearly sliced her arm off.

"What have I said about wasting your energy on pointless maneuvers?" he asked, voice more than a little annoyed.

Kagome leapt back again.

"Not to do it," she managed to get out between huffs. She tightened her grip on the handle unconsciously.

In the next moment, she found herself sprawled on the floor, her sword skittering across the wood floor of the dojo, Sesshoumaru's foot firmly planted between her breasts. She blinked, surprised at her position.

"I am beginning to think that I'm wasting my time with you," the taiyoukai said icily.

Kagome glared up at him.

"Why do you persist in being so stupid?" he continued, returning her glare with one of his own, and Kagome grudgingly admitted that his was probably a lot scarier than hers.

"What is your problem?" she snapped.

"I dislike wasting my time," Sesshoumaru snapped back. "And when you ignore what I teach you, I can only conclude that you do not care. In which case there is no reason for this Sesshoumaru to give a flying damn whether or not your obnoxious head gets cut off, now is there?"

Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Oh for the love of—you're pissed off because I "swiped unnecessarily" at you after you've told me not to?"

His glare deepened, and then he reached down, grabbed her by the front of her practice gi and jerked her up roughly.

"No, you stupid bitch—I'm displeased with you because I have repeatedly explained that a loose grip on your katana is to your advantage but you persist in gripping it as though it were a life-line!" he bellowed in her face.

She stared at him in silence for several moments.

"How do you DO that?" she demanded finally, astonished that he'd noticed her grip had tightened.

"PAY ATTENTION!"

"STOP YELLING IN MY FACE AND I WILL!"

He dropped her and she hit the floor with a grunt. She sent him a scathing look that he ignored:

"Pick up your katana."

She groused under her breath but did as he ordered. She turned to fall into defensive stance, but found her hands suddenly empty. She blinked.

"Turn around baka."

She resisted the impulse to tell him to go to hell and turned. He was holding her sword with his hand wrapped around the blade, the hilt pointed in her direction.

"What is this?" she asked wearily.

"Since you obviously can't remember how to hold a katana, we're going to go back over it."

Kagome eyed him. "This is your crappy idea of a joke, right?"

"I do not "joke," Miko. Now stop trying my patience."

"I know how to hold a stupid katana, Sesshoumaru," she said flatly, "I've been doing it for over a month now."

"Shut up and get over here."

"Look, can't we jus—"

"_Miko_," he said, voice holding warning, through gritted teeth.

Kagome sighed in frustration and stomped over to stand before him.

"Take hold of the hilt."

She immediately obeyed, and he immediately ripped the handle out of her hand and brought it down over her knuckles.

"_OUCH_!" Kagome yelped. "You bastard! What did you do that for!"

"I said grip it, not try to take it from me. Again."

"Did you have to break my knuckles?" she shouted, clutching her throbbing hand to her chest.

He glared at her.

"I didn't break your precious knuckles, wench. You'd have known if I had, trust me."

"You might as well have!"

"And why would I?" Sesshoumaru snapped. "What possible purpose would that serve?"

Kagome sent him an ugly look.

"How should I know! Maybe you get off on pain, you psycho." she snapped.

The demon lord's jaw tightened visibly, and that odd little muscle in his cheek twitched furiously.

"I'm giving you a fifteen minute reprieve, Miko," he said slowly, voice taut. "You will compose yourself, and then you will return here and we will continue with your lesson. Is that clear?"

Kagome eyed him suspiciously.

"Why?" she asked.

A muscle in his jaw jumped.

"Do. You. Understand." he repeated.

She pursed her lips and eyed him, and he lost his patience:

"Answer the question you stupid bitch!"

"All right all right! I understand already! Holy hells you're in a bad mood."

Sesshoumaru tightened his grip on the blade he held, ignoring the bite of the razor sharp edge and the blood that oozed out from between his fingers. Kagome noticed:

"You're bleeding!"

"How astute of you," he said tightly.

"Here, let me see—"

"I don't need your help in the least and I'll thank you to remember that fact."

"But—"

"Get out!" he snapped, raising his voice, and she jumped and did as he ordered, glancing over her shoulder at him as she left the practice hall.

As soon as she left he grabbed the practice sword by the handle with his free hand, and after making sure the fingers of his cut hand were clear, curtly snapped his wrist. The blood marring the cool steel flew off to spatter the polished wood floor, leaving the blade clean. The deep cut in his other hand stopped bleeding, and already the muscles were beginning the process of knitting themselves back together. He'd be fully healed from such a superficial wound within moments.

The youkai lord stood there for a moment, glaring at the blood on the floor, a little furrow between his brows, then abruptly walked out of the practice hall.

There were a few of his soldiers standing outside, acting as though they hadn't been intently—even eagerly—listening to his poor attempt at a training session with that insufferable bitc—

"Wipe down the floor," he snapped at the closest demon, voice harsh, and the demon immediately jumped to do his lord's bidding.

Sesshoumaru shoved his boots on, then stiffly began for the garden, to walk around and perhaps cool off before he had to continue the miko's training session. He folded his hands behind his back, both deadly appendages wrapped loosely around the handle of the practice sword. As he walked, he sharply flicked the sword to and fro, visible proof of his anger and irritation.

The demons left standing by the dojo waited until they were certain their lord's keen hearing wouldn't pick up on conversation. Then, one of them glanced around at the others and grinned broadly:

"Told you it was a good show," he said smugly.

**X-x-X**

"Get up," Sesshoumaru coldly ordered, glaring down at her.

Kagome matched his glare with one of her own. She was sitting on the floor, her practice sword still in hand, her other hand pressing against her right shoulder, still sore despite Sesshoumaru's having attended to it four days back.

"We've been here for four hours," she said between gritted teeth, her eyes angry and wet with gathering tears. "I'm tired."

"Get up," he ordered again, his voice dropping to a threatening growl.

"I want to go inside," she said, raising her voice.

"Woman," he snarled, advancing on her, "if you don't get up—"

"I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!" she screamed, and threw her sword at him.

It went whistling through the air at him and if he hadn't recovered and jerked out of the way it would have impaled him clean through the head. It whooshed past his face, barely missing his nose, and didn't stop until it hit a post across the room, landing with a solid THUNK deep into the wood.

He wondered where that little burst of strength had come from even as he whipped his own sword aside and advanced on her, grabbing her by the hair and jerking her to her feet.

She put up a struggle, but he grabbed her around the waist and hauled her up off the ground, then strode out of the dojo with her under his arm, kicking and calling him obscene things that he ignored. He headed into the garden, walked straight up to the pond and threw her into it, and she hit the water with a shriek and went under, then exploded onto the surface, gasping and splashing and coughing.

"Are you through with your little tantrum?"

"NO!" she screamed, then went under and came back up sputtering.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed.

Somewhere nearby, thunder rumbled ominously, and the smell of rain was on the wind. The air was heavy with the threat of rain, too, but neither the taiyoukai nor the miko paid it any mind.

Kagome finally managed to find a foot hold, and she was able to stand up. Water fell from her drenched gi and hakama and hair as she stood, shaking, watching him with all her pent-up fury on her face. He stared right back, face expressionless.

"Hurry up and finish throwing your fit—I haven't got any more time to waste," he said, voice sharp.

"I'm not doing any more!" she shouted.

"You'll do what I say, when I say," he snapped back, his patience with her thin.

"Go to hell!" she threw back, stumbling unsteadily toward the bank; her wet clothes were heavy now, and she was unbalanced. "I don't have to listen to you!"

Sesshoumaru's youki flared, stirring his hair and kimono.

"BE QUIET!" he bellowed.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she bellowed back. "You can't tell me what to do!"

"The hell I can't," he replied.

"I don't want to do any more!" she wailed, bursting into tears and falling to her knees in the pond. "Please, I don't want to do any more!"

He watched and listened to her loudly weep in silence, watched her shoulders shake from the force of it, his face a blank mask.

He was quite disgusted with her, not that he knew it'd make a difference to her if she knew.

_Rin wouldn't have disgraced herself so_, he thought before he could stop himself. And the thought caused a sharp pain in his chest, as if his own soul was reprimanding him.

Because she _was_ Rin.

But…she wasn't.

Perhaps he hadn't quite reconciled what he'd learned.

The rain that had been threatening finally fell in violent sheets, with thunder roaring and lightning flashing. Kagome didn't appear to notice; she continued to cry, sitting in the pond, and Sesshoumaru watched her despite the fact that he had no desire to. But he was compelled. She was so pathetic, so pitiful—the seeming embodiment of everything he despised about humans.

How, he wondered again, could this woman…how could she share a soul with Rin? This weak woman who couldn't seem to drag herself out of whatever abyss she was mired in—how could she have come from Rin's soul? Rin, who'd surprised him with her hardiness of spirit. Who'd almost convinced him that humans could be redeemed. How could they have come from the same soul?

Eventually, the rain softened, was no longer pelting them relentlessly, and she stopped crying, settling for the occasional, wrenching dry sob. She really looked so pathetic, sitting in the pond and shivering, her hair drenched and dripping and untidy.

Most people would have been surprised to hear that Sesshoumaru was capable of pity. In truth, pity isn't nearly so difficult as other feelings. Hate requires work, as does love. Mercy requires the proper mindset. But pity was easy. Pity only required that you acknowledge how low someone else had sunk as compared to yourself. And that was easy for Sesshoumaru.

He walked toward her, into the water and stopped in front of her.

"Please," she begged, her voice hoarse and thick, her thin frame shaking and shivering. "No more. Please."

He watched the top of her head for a long time.

"No more," he agreed at long last. "Now get out of there before you die of chill."

She sniffled and looked up at him. She looked very pale and very fragile and very human, and he felt a strange pain in his chest that was different from any other pain he'd ever felt in his many years. He'd almost call it…remorse.

"I can't feel my legs," she whispered, teeth chattering.

He drew in a deep breath, then let it out. Then, he leaned down and picked her up and tucked her under his arm again. This time, she was limp, dead weight, and he wondered if it was a result of the chill in her body or if it was a result of his agreeing to stop her session for the night, or if it was a result of her giving up. He got the distinct impression that it was the last one. And he wondered exactly what she'd given up.

He sloshed out of the pond with her under his arm and walked out of the garden. As he was passing the cherry blossom trees, she lifted her head and murmured,

"We didn't watch the moon tonight."

He paused.

"There is no moon tonight," he replied.

"Oh," she whispered. "So that's why it's so dark."

**X-x-X**

Some time later, Kagome was sitting in Sesshoumaru's study by the large copper brazier that Jaken had fired up. She had changed out of her sodden practice wear and into the dark blue haori and hakama that Mine had given her, what now felt like years and years ago. Her hair was still damp, and when she remembered to, she shook the drying tresses out.

The demon lord was also there, silent and brooding. Usually, he'd leave her to her own devices when they returned from the dojo, but tonight he'd stuck around and made sure she changed into dry clothing and got warm. She knew there was no affection or concern behind his actions—he was merely looking after his investment. It was as cold-blooded an explanation as he was.

Kagome watched him, absently shaking out her nearly dry hair. She was beginning to feel that it was useless to try and figure him out. That she never would. She doubted that even he understood himself, and she doubted too that he ever would, not out of ignorance but because he truly just did not care. He was concerned with actions, not the reasons behind them. And yet, it was that very lack of concern that made him so intriguing. She wondered, somewhere in the back of her mind, why he didn't care. How he couldn't care.

He stirred, glanced at her and held her gaze. No, he hadn't begun to heal. Not by any stretch of the imagination. The ghosts in his eyes told her that, in the brief second she saw them before the familiar, studied disinterest hid them away. She thought that the ghosts in his eyes might have even multiplied. He was different, had been different since she'd recovered from the arrow wound he'd licked shut. It sort of felt like he'd drawn his melancholy more tightly around him.

They watched each other silently. Silence was always good if they were alone. It prevented them from interacting, allowed them both to distance themselves from each other.

But then it occurred to her that this was counterproductive to what she'd set out to do. Distance was only going to encourage his grief, not make it go away. So she'd have to get rid of the distance. How, though?

Kagome rose and padded, barefoot, to where he sat behind his desk and stood before him, before kneeling down so that her face was level with his. They watched each other, and she could feel his confusion and wariness.

There was one way. It was very simple, and her mother had used it on her several times in the past. And she'd found there was nothing more effective to cure most of what ailed you. She couldn't say why she felt compelled to help him. Perhaps it was the fact that he was as broken inside as she was. Or maybe it was because of the memory of a little girl that so obviously haunted him. Whatever the reason, Kagome, after meeting his gaze, crawled into his lap and hugged him.

Sesshoumaru had been curious as to what the miko was planning, but the second she touched him he stiffened. Of all the actions he'd assumed she'd take, this one had never even been in the running. His hands moved to extricate himself, and then suddenly stopped. Something refused to let him shove her away. He just couldn't. Desperately wanted to, but was completely unable.

He sat frozen, horrified and furious at himself. He also carefully avoided thinking about the last time a human had hugged him. It was a memory he didn't care to revisit, like so many others, and he grew even more furious with the miko for stirring up his tightly locked away memories.

Seconds ticked by and the miko didn't draw away. It dawned on him then that he wasn't being _embraced_—he was being _held_. The difference was both tiny and huge. And the epiphany so surprised him that he forgot to be outraged.

He hadn't been held since he'd been very young. By Hahaue. Gods, how long had it been since he'd really thought about his mother? Centuries, he decided. He hadn't allowed a single thought of her to cross his mind since she'd died. How strange that a weak human woman who was nothing like her at all had reminded him.

His mother was another memory Sesshoumaru counted among his failures. He'd been very young when she'd died, and logically, he knew her death had had nothing to do with him, but the idea stuck. It was why he'd avoided thoughts of her. And why the thought of her after so many many years, combined with being held, made a horrible wrenching ache rise in him. He swallowed with difficulty, trying to will the feeling away. Instead, it only seemed to grow worse.

The miko's ki nudged his youki, and there was a moment when he was tempted to lash out at it, to retaliate. It was her fault he was feeling this, after all; if she'd just stayed by the damn brazier, he'd still be all right. Dead inside, but that cold emptiness was preferable to this ache he didn't want to feel and didn't want to understand. But his traitorous youki slid into that strange, comfortable union with her ki, and some of the edge on the ache eased. He caught the scent of salt water, of tears, but they never fell, and he couldn't tell if they were his—though he rather doubted it, to be frank—or hers. Gradually, the tightness in his chest loosened and he was able to breathe a little easier, and his throat didn't feel quite as constricted, and he was able to get his bearings again. The second he thought about shoving her away, though, the tightness in his chest returned, so he decided he'd have to endure this until the ache was gone. And the moment he accepted that, a sort of serenity settled over them.

He let his mind wander back, years and decades and centuries ago, to find his mother. He sifted through his memories and suddenly there she was, tall and elegant, lovely and deadly. The crescent moon he bore on his forehead matched hers, and he'd inherited her more refined facial features. Her eyes had been quicksilver, with the ability to change into any and every color in the spectrum. She used to tell him a silly story about catching a rainbow in her eyes, and combing moonbeams into her silvery hair—hair that had been paler than his, paler than his father's, and strangely like moonlight. He'd been fascinated by it, by his mother, a child of the night and the moon. She'd been the reason the shiro had been called the House of the Moon.

He'd wondered sometimes if maybe his mother hadn't actually been a goddess, instead of youkai. She'd been the last of her family; by the time he'd been born, only she was left. And she'd seemed lonely, even to his child's mind, as she'd wandered through the halls of the shiro that had been named in her honor. Even when he'd been with her, accompanying her everywhere, there was a sort of sadness that clung to her. And after she'd died, it had felt as if the shiro had taken on that sadness of hers.

He had forgotten…so much. Even the grief he'd felt at her death had receded to little more than a vague, misty impression. But he recalled, now that he was allowing himself to, that he'd been inconsolable when she'd died. Only the moon had helped. He'd forgotten that too. He hadn't remembered why the moon brought him such serenity and also a fleeting sense of loss and sadness; he'd only known that it had, for so damn long….

The fire had burned itself out by the time he sank back into reality. It took him several confused moments to realize the fire was out and it was cold, he was home, in his study, at his desk, and the miko was asleep. He shook his head, feeling as if it were cluttered and choked with cobwebs, then lifted his head from where it had fallen to rest against the miko's shoulder. He reached up to remove her arms from around his shoulders, then stopped when he saw the pale fingers of moonlight on the floor, seeming to stretch out to touch, to dispel, the darkness he sat in. He slowly let his hands drop, and sighed softly. He sat watching the moonlight creep across the floor—always reaching out for him but never quite able to touch him—for a long time.

He was a child of darkness, not of the night as his mother had been; as with the line between being held and being embraced, the line between the night and darkness was both paper-thin and chasm-wide. His darkness came from somewhere deep within, from the place in him where his beast lived. His mother had had no such place—but his father….

He sat quietly with Kagome asleep in his lap for sometime, then decided that he should get up, because this was starting to get uncomfortable. He still hadn't quite reconciled Rin and Kagome, and having the reincarnation of his little girl asleep in his lap was making him feel things he preferred not to feel, things he preferred not to have to deal with.

But should he awaken her?

And why should the question have given him pause, much less occurred to him at all?

In the end, he did not awaken her, and he had no reason for this decision other than that the decision had to be made. Instead, he gently edged one arm under her backside and carefully placed his other hand against the back of her head, steadying and lightly anchoring her small body against his. For whatever reason, the miko had afforded him a sort of…kindness?…this night. He would return it and consider this whole, uncomfortable affair ended, any debt repaid.

He slowly stood, adjusted her weight in his arms so that both arms were under her now and walked to her chamber, trying not to think that he'd done this once for Rin when she'd been too ill to move. She never stirred against him, her heartbeat sluggish with sleep and her breathing deep and even. Once, she tucked her head more securely into the hollow of his shoulder, and he stopped dead in the hallway when she did, waiting. He had no idea if he was waiting for her to awaken or if he was waiting for his memories to come crashing back into the forefront of his brain when he was vulnerable to them. Instead, neither of those things happened. She slept on, and though there was a stirring somewhere back in the dark recesses he shied away from, nothing came out of hiding. He felt sort of odd, too, and it took him a moment to realize it was because of her ki; her energy had taken note of his distress and was trying to do something about it. What, he had no idea, but once he became aware of and acknowledged the holy energy's presense, it settled down and was quite content to simply be connected to his youki and hum along quietly.

He felt a little warmer than he had before, a strange sort of warmth that came from the inside out, and he wondered, as he began once more for her chamber, if it was her ki's doing. He knew for certain it was her ki's doing when in response to this thought, the energy nudged his youki ever so gently, as if to issue some sort of reply.

"So you read minds now, do you?" he muttered, not expecting an answer, and not getting one. "Let's hope you put this new talent to good use instead of squandering it the way you have all your other talents."

Well, perhaps that wasn't an entirely fair assessment. But he was feeling too weary to try to be fair. And she was asleep, anyway; unless she actually heard anything while she slept and could remember it in the morning (which he doubted very highly), he was safe from her whining and ranting and raving.

He reached her chamber at long last, and removed his right arm from under her, leaving her seated on his left. He slid the fusuma to the room open and stepped in and then slid the fusuma shut again, then walked to her futon. Yuki had already turned down the blankets and laid out a sleeping yukata. Sesshoumaru ignored the yukata and gently laid Kagome down, not wanting to awaken her this close to being home free, and was finally able to free his shoulders from her grip. The loss of physical contact, however, made the bond between their energies weaken ever so slightly, and that odd warmth he'd felt receded a little. He managed to ignore the sensation, but a part of him was put out to have lost the feeling—strange it may have been, but it had not been unpleasant.

She looked very small; the shadows under eyes were darker in the unlit room, and her face was paler. She looked very very mortal, very very damaged—and very much like Rin.

He smirked sardonically at the ache under his breastbone that throbbed at that thought. She brought comfort and horrible pain—just what was it about the miko that she inspired such paradoxes?

He began straightening, but a delicately-boned hand reaching out stopped him. He looked at her face, found sleepy eyes watching him. Fingertips made contact with the blue crescent on his forehead. They fell away just as quickly.

"I got to see the moon tonight after all," she murmured, closing her eyes and going back to sleep.

He stared at her, bemused, and that was when he realized that their energies had unraveled, and her ki had receded. He drew his own youki in, feeling a little disappointed without really knowing why, and also wondering what had prompted that sleepy remark. Deciding he was too tired to try and puzzle out the odd statement tonight, he rose and left the chamber, quietly and carefully sliding the fusuma shut.

Neither of them was visited by memories that night.

* * *

**Additional A/N:** I'm going to be quiet on this one for a while, as I'm trying to get the last chapters put together. Try me again in late September/early-to-mid October. Gomen. : (. 


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